chaerisoda

[chaerisoda]

chaeri, when asked, likes to say that she isn’t addicted, there are just days that nicotine improves massively. as a teen, she’d hidden those compulsions carefully from her grandma’s sharp nose - now, as an adult paying for her own cigarettes instead of bumming off others (at least most of the time), she doesn’t bother with any of that.

it’s a busy day. a lecture at 7.30, which she’s almost late to of no fault of her own - or so she’ll claim, if asked -, classes deep into the afternoon, a shift after that. and then said work only seems to stretch on and on, and her anxiety sticks to her, too, like gum beneath a shoe or the smell of her cigarettes to her fingers, later. she barely makes it through an afternoon rush brought on by what looks like a class trip. and then, when the shop empties out, she digs through her jacket immediately to get at her pack, pockets that and the other necessities, and heads on break as quick as she can.

the stairwell is already occupied when she gets there, but zurie has never been a grating enough presence for chaeri to shy away and look for someplace else. she takes her time, though, to clear her head - closes the door with more care than needed, approaches slowly, sits down on the metal stairs before saying anything. shakes a cigarette out of her pack and puts it between her lips.

“hey. you got a lighter?” because of course she’d forget that in her haste. chaeri leans back, forces herself to relax. zurie’s smile looks a little tight, but the smoking is enough indication that her mood isn’t all that great. chaeri’s very skilled at ignoring that (and other conversational hiccups). “maybe, not sure yet. probably. if someone asks to go.” not like she can really avoid the carnival. “why are you asking?”

cloudy ft. @chaerisoda

the beat up marlboro pack was already out of her pocket before she'd reached the door to the maintenance stairwell for her final smoke break of the day. it was off limits to customers, meaning it would be empty enough to take a few drags off the last cigarette she was trying to stretch until the next payday. the desolate nature of the claustrophobic structure, while necessary for her chosen activity, left zurie feeling inwardly turbulent. when left to her own devices, it was far too easy for invasive thoughts to intrude on her typically positive disposition. the cigarette clenched between her fingers twitched along with her nervous, costume jewelry adorned digits.

her mother's morose face flashed in her mind's eye, more faded than when the wound was fresh, but still clear enough to send chills down her spine. her entire chest cavity ached with tension as her father appeared next, only so well remembered because of the striking features they shared. she flicked her lighter, hoping the image would ignite along with her worries, letting the flame lick her cigarette just enough to light it. she let the smoke cascade into her lungs, feeling the shaking in her hands reduce measurably. fuck making it last, she was lucky if the whole thing would last the next 90 seconds of anxious inhalations.

as if the fates were having some sort of merciful mood swing, zurie heard the door swing open. a familiar gait lay inobtrusive footsteps down the stairs, and she easily knew their identity already. zurie quickly turned her frown upside down to hide any traces of distress, letting chaeri's presence tear through any traumatic thoughts she'd just been having. she and chaeri were quite different from one another, but had still built up a rather pleasant rapport. "hey," zurie greeted her happily, vacantly swatting away the cloud of smoke that had enveloped her. "are you going to the carnival by any chance?" she inquired, knowing she'd be in desperate need of some fun that evening, but not really sure if it was her friend's scene.

[chaerisoda]

there’s two kinds of busy (at least in chaeri’s definition): the one where she doesn’t have time because she’s swamped, and the type where she’s free, technically, but she has no energy left to do anything. lately, it’s been more of the latter. maybe it’s the mental load (juggling a few more shifts, that broken heater she’d promised she’d call their landlord about, three classes all with deadlines in the same week), maybe she’s just in a funk, but when eileen texts her about meeting up at the carnival she’s got half a mind to bail.

chaeri never pull that on eileen, though. so after her shift she diligently throws on her jacket and her tote bag over her shoulder, and weaves her way through the crowd over to where she’s certain she’ll find her roomie. the food looks good, the company better; chaeri sits down with a sigh and drags the kimchijeon over to dig in. “work, you know.” she scrunches her nose, nudges eileen’s knee beneath the table. “yours?”

there’s a moment of silence while she chews, then: “should we get groceries after this?”

SAVOURY SOLUTIONS ft. @chaerisoda

the fridge at home was empty. eileen had meant to pick up groceries but with the spring carnival around, she was too busy working twelve hour shifts trying to maximize profits. she's sure her roommate was in a similar situation with the event attracting additional customers to isanghan thrift. so instead she opts to get dinner at the carnival and shoots a text over to chaeri to come meet her at the food stalls when she was off.

eileen is halfway through her skewer of tteokbokki when she spots the other and waves her hand so chaeri sees her. the table in front of her is mainly filled with different skewers (fish balls, tteokbokki) and a serving of kimchijeon. "i hope you're hungry 'cause i need your help finishing all of this," eileen gestures to the food as an invitation for chaeri to join her. "how was work?"

[chaerisoda]

the job isn’t really something chaeri invests much energy in. she gets there, she clocks in; if she’s on her own, she’ll go on to scroll through instagram for the next fifteen minutes or so. sometimes, on productive days, she rifles through the new arrivals in the back and puts the things she thinks someone she knows might like to the side, but most of the time she doesn’t bother. there’s a routine to it, three years in, and she’s got it down.

some people are exceptions though, welcome distractions and worth a message. so when she spots the piles of shirts in the backroom and double-checks that the front is looking a little sparse, she sends sikyung a quick text, the kind that is fired off within ten seconds and needs no reply: new stuff on the floor today, that’s it. sikyung tends to be enthusiastic enough not to need more input.

after that, the shift passes eventlessly. chaeri had promised herself she’d finally get started on that presentation she’d been putting off working on, but, predictably, does no such thing: instead, she reads around thirty pages before giving up and giving in to scrolling, ignoring all incoming messages. at some point, she steps into the back and thinks about making coffee, but the moment she takes a look at the machine she realises it hasn’t been cleaned again, and there’s an ecosystem growing off forgotten wet grounds. not really something she wants to deal with; pretending she didn’t see it usually goes a long way. back to the counter it is.

sikyung shows up a few minutes after that, out of breath but with an unmatched positive energy. chaeri drops her phone down vaguely in the direction of her bag. there’s a soft thunk - it has hit its mark, instead of hitting the floor - so she doesn’t look down to double check.

“there isn’t that much, just–”, and she trails off her because she’s rounding the counter as she speaks, heading off in the direction of rack she’d spent the afternoon sorting through, trusting sikyung to follow. “some shirts, a couple of nice jackets, if you promise not to rat me out i’ll show you the back? as soon as everyone else is gone.” her co-workers never care, but other customers do. and she wouldn’t let just anyone rifle through the unorganised bins back there.

with  their  shift  finally  over  ,  sikyung  is  buzzing  with  excitement  .  he  doesn’t  have  to  stream  tonight  ,  so  that  means  he  gets  to  give  himself  a  little  more  ‘  him  ’  time  and  as  he  steps  out  of  the  gym’s  locker  room  shower  ,  a  towel  wrapped  around  their  waist  as  they  rummage  through  their  locker  ,  he  knows  exactly  what  he’s  going  to  be  doing  .

that  morning  he’d  gotten  a  message  from  chaeri  ,  something  that  happens  very  rarely  …  which  in  hindsight  ,  he  doesn’t  blame  her  for  because  he  is  also  awful  and  responding  back  to  her  .  nonetheless  though  ,  a  message  from  her  always  meant  something  good  and  the  second  they’d  read  it  ,  they  were  not  disappointed  .  there  was  a  new  batch  of  clothing  they  were  going  to  be  putting  out  on  the  floor  at  the  thrift  shop  that  evening  and  chaeri  was  always  the  real  one  for  letting  him  know  beforehand  .

quickly  throwing  on  the  extra  pair  of  sweatpants  and  a  simple  sweatshirt  ,  sikyung  packs  his  work  and  gym  bag  as  quickly  as  he  can  ,  knowing  they  want  to  be  the  first  one  there  to  be  able  to  browse  through  everything  .  thrifting  was  something  he  had  found  joy  in  when  he  had  first  moved  to  daegu  .  most  of  the  things  they  wore  in  seoul  were  ‘  fresh  off  the  sewing  machine  ’  designer  and  he  had  wanted  a  small  change  to  his  wardrobe  to  begin  the  next  chapter  of  his  life  .  however  ,  if  young  him  ever  said  he’d  be  going  thrifting  to  find  his  outfits  ,  they  would’ve  laughed  in  their  face  .

nonetheless  ,  sikyung  finds  himself  speed  walking  to  the  store  ,  absolutely  breezing  by  everyone  around  him  so  once  he’s  finally  there  ,  he’s  completely  out  of  breath  .  it’s  definitely  pathetic  considering  he  dances  for  a  living  ,  but  they’ll  blame  it  on  the  excitement  coursing  through  their  body  .  

heaving  ,  he  slams  their  hands  on  the  checkout  desk  chaeri  is  sitting  behind  ,  he’s  sure  he  startles  quite  a  few  people  that  are  checking  out  in  the  lanes  beside  him  ,  but  he  doesn’t  care  .  sikyung  needs  a  second  to  catch  his  breath  before  he  even  speaks  .  once  he  does  though  ,  there’s  joy  running  through  his  voice  ,  “  show  me  everything  right  now  ,  ”  tone  not  demanding  ,  but  he  adds  a  quick  ,  “  please  .  ”  and  a  smile  .

new selection ft. @chaerisoda .

[chaerisoda]

// hellooo i'm so sorry i've been so mia!! life got unexpectedly busy : (( i'll be back to dms and all the replies i owe hopefully this weekend, if not then tuesday at the latest (fingers crossed)

in the meantime, if we're not threading yet or you want a non-event starter, hit the like button or comment with an idea you'd like!! also comment the muse you want it for if you're on a multimuse blog. i'll get to it asap!

[chaerisoda]

chaeri’s never been one for crowds. there had been a time, once, as a child - in second grade, a little too excitable, especially in comparison to get classmates - when they’d gone to a fair, her parents and her, and she’d hugged a stranger thinking it had been her grandpa. maybe it’s that experience still sitting heavy on her mind a decade and a half later (she’s inclined to think so, for the drama of it), or maybe it’s all the noise around them. either way; when jaewon agrees to get on the ferris wheel with her for some much-needed fresh air and some amount of quiet, she almost breathes a sigh of relief.

and then they’re standing in line and she starts feeling excited, even though it’s taking an age and a half to get on and there’s some ominous creaking. chaeri’s not particularly inclined to believe in safety regulations on a baseline, but she’s no coward either. it’s not like that thing is gonna come crashing down anytime soon.

“that’s me.” jaewon’s tone is a bit off; chaeri resists squinting at him for show. there’s so much noise around them, it’s probably just her imagination anyway. but then there’s that hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots here. chaeri doesn’t even bother hiding her amusement.

“you didn’t have to say yes, y’know, if you didn’t want to—” she trails off. the line moves forward; if he wants to bail, he needs to decide soon. “no, you’ve got to come, they’ll put me in there with a stranger and then what am i gonna do? talk to them? i need you, moon jaewon, surely you won’t abandon me like this.”

she doesn’t actually want to go on there without him. there’s no fun in it, even if it makes for pretty shots for the instagram she hasn’t updated in months. chaeri turns deploring eyes on jaewon. “i’ll pay for your ticket, don’t make me go alone.”

moon jaewon is the type of a guy who says he's not afraid of anything.

be it the feeling of needle passing through layers of skin and leaving ink in its wake, or the wind hitting heavily against his body when he's speeding 75mph down the freeway without a single thought inside of his mind. that confidence he instils into himself by repeating that he's not afraid is something that's pushed him through life for all of these twenty-four years he's spent walking on two --- well, four first --- legs, an enforcement to his bones like no other. that play-confidence manages to convince himself it's there and that it's real.

so of course, when chaeri proposed 'killing some time' and 'checking what the mall has to offer this year', he accepted her offer without really thinking much of it. when their steps took them down the line for the ferris wheel, he's kept quiet. mostly because he would never admit of the feeling that slowly creeped inside his stomach. but, to be fair, he wouldn't need to. not when there is a faltering sparkle within the dark of his eye with each gaze the notorious ferris wheel steals from him; like he's staring at a monstrous creature of flesh and bone, and not a metal construction that's taken a little under a month to be installed.

if asked, he'd just say that it doesn't interest him.

"say... chaeri." he speaks in a way that's over-compensating with its flatness, like he's trying to obfuscate the quiver of his voice, like he's attempting to appear nonchalant and unbothered before the subject of his saving grace. in reality, he's just grasping at the straws in a desperation; just as he is grasping at her elbow, mild grip that speaks more than any word could do. "i'll give you my phone and you take a picture of everything with it when you're at the very top? in return, i'll get you as many portions of kkwabaegi that your heart would possibly eveeer want. sounds like a killer of a deal, yeah?"

@chaerisoda

[chaerisoda]

hello hello !!!

i'm mey ( she/her ) and bringing to you my lovely girl chaeri ♡︎ (somewhat bare) informational links below and a quick summary of her life so far under the cut - i'll update a bit more when i'm not on the go. leave a like if you'd like to plot! either through here or discord. so excited to meet and write with you all!!!

stats. / plots.

important details first: kim chaeri, 23 ('99 liner), working at isanghan thrift for the past three years

background (tw death)

chaeri was born as a single daughter into a working class family: dad working construction jobs, mum picking up retail positions. happy childhood, even if money was always a bit tight.

moved to daegu when she was 12 to live with her grandparents because they badly needed help around the home. she settled in quick but had trouble making friends initially and mostly kept to herself.

grandpa died when she was 14. following after, her mum and grandma had a falling out, the details of which she wasn't privy to. over the next few years, chaeri loses contact with her parents.

chaeri goes on to become her grandma's primary caregiver, a position she resents despite her love for the woman.

she grew a bit more into herself in her later years in school, began to pick up a few hobbies and the odd job here and there for extra pocket money.

graduated school and immediately signed up for uni. one year into that, her grandma dies. chaeri's the one to organise the funeral and sell all her stuff. her parents don't even show.

uni sort of gets put on hold afterwards, and she's still slogging through these last few credits to earn that degree now. if there's nobody kicking your ass, you're mourning, and you need to find somewhere new to stay it gets a bit difficult to juggle everything (not to mention financial problems). she really wants to be done already, though.

somewhere in there she gets her job at the thrift shop. maybe not the best paid position she could aim for, but they let her write her papers on the clock, so she's been sticking with it ever since. wishes she could stay working there but she does want an actual career one of these days.

despite all that, she's a happy gal! she's worked through her issues and isn't grieving anymore. her arc is more so about figuring herself out and finding her place !!

personality.

quick and dirty summary: chaeri used to be a bit shy and isolationist, but she lost that streak as an older teen (though she's no extrovert by any means). somewhat blunt and direct, quick to pick up on social cues, decently emotionally intelligent. she's the person who will take on most of the work in a group project, but will resent you if you don't pull your weight. avoids crowds, but really enjoys smaller group hangouts. rarely communicates her feelings (actions over words). true ride or die. doesn't get embarrassed much and sticks to her opinions, but can be stubborn. when she's in a funk she'll ghost you, and she might've skipped out on a few shifts before (sorry co-workers!)

[chaerisoda]

this got 120k likes on twitter in a day so we made a t shirt