chamomillehoney

[chamomillehoney]

OH MY FUCKING SHAKESPEARE I suddenly realized how “the lakes” by Taylor Swift is “if we were villains.” I HAVE NO DOUBT that someone has probably already written about it in our fandom, but it only just dawned on me now and I’m delighted

[chamomillehoney]

another thing about 3x08 because oh my god the recurring themes in this show.

about the "I'm staying because it doesn't feel right" scene. they all have their own reasons we pretty clearly get to see during the course of this season: lottie doesn't want to feel wrong anymore, here she's valued as a prophet, not brushed off as a psycho. shauna doesn't want to feel inferior and helpless anymore, and here she gets to have that power. tai is scared of what other people will say if they don't manage to sweep all the dust under the rug (and I could write an essay about the theme of the double and concealed identity in her character).

however, they're all blaming it on "it" making them feel something wrong. this because, paradoxically, it's easier to explain and easier to accept than all the many ways their lives are fucked up.

but, at the end of the day, truly there is no it. it was just us.

[chamomillehoney]

yesyesyes this is exactly what I thought when watching the scene!!

I loved that whole conversation about mel just wanting a boring life and being content with it, because even if it's a lie she's happy and that's what she values. meanwhile shauna is literally just being petty, because she never even thought of that (or never had the chance to? or maybe she realized melissa outsmarted her in faking her death, and she cannot stand that?), so she says "you don't have a normal life", because she never even contemplated that kind of life would be possible; but it soon reveals itself as "you don't get to have a normal life" because how dare you get over your guilt and your ghosts while I'm stuck with the father of my dead child and a daughter who hates me and who is becoming the girl I've always wanted to be but never was.

and callie calling shauna during that scene is the cherry on top. it makes you realise that shauna's initial, very random and very lame "are you still in love with me?" was not some kind of arrogant question to make mel feel inferior. it was her begging to have confirmation that someone who knows her at her worst loves her nonetheless (like mel claimed she did in the teen timeline), because her family sure as hell does not.

and when melissa goes on with her monologue in the final scene before the fight, shauna realises she's alone. and she's scared of being alone.

cue her going completely fucking nuts.

do we think shauna is freaking out about melissa's life because she's thinking that maybe a normal life that she would actually like was possible. that in a different world she could be the one happily married to a woman (jackie) with a daughter she liked and who liked her back. that maybe she didn't have to conform to choosing jeff and a normal boring life that hated? that she's going to kill melissa because she has what shauna doesn't?

[chamomillehoney]

has this been done yet

[chamomillehoney]

heavy is the crown 🐝

celebratory post for s3 release day! natalie scatorrcio my beloved,,,, my Italian pride,,,,,

[chamomillehoney]

and what if im a 'shes the only divine thing hes ever believed in' girl in a 'you really think i needed all the guards at the hexgates' world 😔

[chamomillehoney]

this is the first thing i thought of when i saw this trend going around

[chamomillehoney]

My favorite relationship dynamic in fiction is a worshipper and their God. Not a literal God, but their God. The only thing in the whole world that matters to them. I will live for you, I would die for you, I would kill for you. My only moral compass is You. You can do no wrong in my eyes and I will never stray from your side. I was born to meet you and to love you. You are the only being I pray to. Your life isn’t just my passion, it’s my religion. You don’t think you’re anything special but you don’t see what I see. You don’t see that you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel this way. You don’t understand how beautiful you are to me and I will devote my entire life to making you understand and accept it.

[chamomillehoney]

since we're approaching yellowjackets season 3 release day and I still haven't moved on from season 1, I wanted to expand on the food/love metaphor the show has going on by raising you a headcanon that I've been thinking about for quite a while!!

before I start, I just want to make clear that 1) a good chunk of this is just me relating the story to my own experience, so it's not very objective and idk if it makes any sense, 2) i will try to tackle a sensitive topic to the best of my abilities, I hope I don't mess up, and 3) I've watched the show only recently, so I might be very late to the party and this might already be well accepted as practically canon, in that case I apologize for the redundancy

ok, what I want you to hear me out on is: jackie taylor with an eating disorder. please bear with me as I try to explain my messy thoughts.

so, the way I see it, one of the show's main themes is love, explored through food as a metaphor (and its most disturbing implications we're all well aware of). the other predominant themes are grief, guilt and shame.

here's the thing: most times (to my experience, at least) restrictive eds specifically stem from inner feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy, triggered by societal pressure and the need to put up a perfect facade in order to hide whatever you feel inadequate for, hoping the guilt will go away if you respect this set of "rules".

it's renowned that jackie is the character that represents societal norms and that's why she's the first to die and be eaten and yada yada; it's made pretty clear that she's perceived as "the perfect one", based on the other girls' recurring comments. the need to be perfect at everything is actually a pretty common symptom in people with eating disorders, for all the reasons I've explained earlier. more often than not, it's not until the very last stages of the illness that the facade begins to crack and you start losing the control you think you had on your life (because you dont have the energy to keep it up anymore).

now, that is obviously not always the case; however, the reason I believe that behind jackie's picture perfect life there was this kind of mental illness is that she was living in the precise environment in which eds thrive: being a teenage girl high school, with demanding parents focused on appearances (dare I say, from what we've seen of the taylors), playing sports, etc.. furthermore, as I've said earlier, this pressure to be the best at everything stems from the need to cover up a sense of not being enough: and we know that jackie, for example, has probably felt dumb compared to shauna -- and here's where the comparison factor kicks in as well. she basically checks every possible box on the handbook.

so what does someone with a restrictive ed (fueled by these factors of perfectionism, guilt and comparison/societal pressure) do? they deprive themselves of food. because they don't feel worthy of it, as they are shameful and guilty. because, by doing so, they will achieve the perfect standards they set for themselves that will allow them not to feel so inadequate and guilty anymore.

so,,,,, after this long ass framework. given that jackie lives the archetypical life of someone prone to anorexia. if she were to be sick, let's apply the food/love metaphor: she feels guilty for something (eating/loving), therefore she deprives herself of something (eating/loving), to achieve society's approval (thinness/conventional love).

and what might possibly be the kind of love a young girl in the 90s felt guilty and ashamed for, that she deprived herself of, to achieve an "acceptable" kind of relationship?

[chamomillehoney]

not the burnt cookie 😭😭

pathetic man

[chamomillehoney]

half the internet right now:

[chamomillehoney]

arcane writers thinking they’ll turn me against caitlyn by making her a callous leader in a red cape who does morally questionable things against her almost girlfriend’s people for the good of her own, sacrificing their relationship for a perceived better option from the leader of another group… you fools… you absolute fools… you’ve simply recreated lexa from the 100 right here in front of my homosexual eyes

[chamomillehoney]

since I saw a rant about how the iwwv tag is often drowned out by random "dark academia aestethic" posts that have nothing to do with the book itself, I thought I'd contribute to our content-starving fandom by sharing this fic I just posted :) it's yet another reunion fic because to be honest I can never get enough of those lol

I am so sorry for the unsolicited self promo, hope it's not as annoying as yet all those pinterest collages

[chamomillehoney]

ok i shouted my silly lil post into the void precisely as a bait for people like you to yap and provide this precious contribution to the fandom thank you ashfjshf

this has probably been said before but you know what kills me about aftg

you have renee right. her whole backstory revolves around being a "reborn", and her two names (besides their religious roots) literally mean "dedicated to the festivity of birth" and "reborn", plus the sheer fact that she goes by the middle one shows how she chooses her "second life" over who she was etc etc

and then you have just. "andrew"

[chamomillehoney]

this has probably been said before but you know what kills me about aftg

you have renee right. her whole backstory revolves around being a "reborn", and her two names (besides their religious roots) literally mean "dedicated to the festivity of birth" and "reborn", plus the sheer fact that she goes by the middle one shows how she chooses her "second life" over who she was etc etc

and then you have just. "andrew"

[chamomillehoney]

the biggest missed opportunity of all time was fenty beauty's new marketing team not naming all the shades in ways coherent to arcane's aestethic, meanwhile caitlyn's pinkish lip gloss is just straight up "cupcake frosting"