changeling6

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: Futuristic, sci-fi

Story: I-DOLL-atry, a company that builds androids, has decided to partner with the Moral Compass, an organization dedicated to "researching mental health" and "correcting poor behavior" by uploading people's consciousness to a secure database. While your loved one rests in a coma so Moral Compass can "fix their issues", I-DOLL-atry will provide an android body to replace your loved one while they "get the care they need". They aren't actually getting the care they need though. Through the point of view of one of these androids, we learn that the patients under Moral Compass are not receiving help but are trapped inside a computer program while they watch themselves suffer with no way to communicate with anyone. This android, however, manages to connect with other patients and spread their story on a locked forum.

Main Theme: Told in two parts-- unlovable and untouchable-- touchlove explores the themes of societal beauty standards and abusive industries such as the troubled teen industry and the adoption industry. So many people are brainwashed into believing they're unlovable thanks to magazines displaying dangerous weights and disordered eating. As for untouchable, this comes from how the wealthy are considered untouchable because their money can get them out of bad situations while people in poverty are seen as untouchable because they're "dirty".

Prologue: I-DOLL-atry - The short answer is that this song is a "fuck you Andrew Tate" song. The long answer is that it's inspired by Bella Poarch's songs "Build a Bitch" and "Dolls". Andrew Tate is a human trafficker who willingly admits to it on his website. He grooms women and then manipulates them into doing cam work that HE profits from. Men like him live the "alpha male" lifestyle where they believe women are sex dolls who should submit to them. They lie and lie and groom and lovebomb and coerce women into doing what they want just so they can trap them in a loveless relationship. They are disgusting people and I automatically don't trust people who are fans of Andrew Tate. So 🖕 Andrew Tate

Unloveable An internal struggle many people face is that they must prove they are deserving of love when they always have been.

Beauty Pageant - Body issues are prevalent and nothing displays and exploits body issues more than beauty pageants. There are many layers to body issues especially in regards to eating disorders and chronic illness in general. When we can't trust our bodies, we turn to trusting our ability to control but even that can become mistrust given enough pressure. This song is also not a "uwu love yourself" kind of song where people try to claim the cure to body issues is by loving yourself but a "fuck you society" kind of song where we deconstruct what we are feeling and what environmental pressures can strain our mental and physical health. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia is not simply about how you look on the outside but deep, complex psychological issues compounded by societal beauty standards and a lack of control in a world that doesn't want to give you any. This song is mostly shaped by my experience with my own disordered eating which comes from medical gaslighting and negligence due to an autoimmune disease that could have been easily diagnosed if doctors actually did what we pay them to do so it's likely this may not appeal to everyone's experience with eating disorders.

Thorn (in progress) -

What About Me? - About rediscovering yourself after abuse.

Learn defeat - Funny story: the idea for the phrase of learn defeat started as a concept of learned helplessness but I had this fury over writing a song for this title. Like, learned helplessness is a topic I want to write about but it just doesn't fit with this phrase for some reason.

Anyway, I started reading Greta Thunberg's book "A Future We Can Love" and it made me angrier like why the fuck are the rich thinking they can make us bow down to their rule? Fuck you. I'm going to change the fucking world and you can't just sit and tell me I can't. So many beautiful people, both young and old, are proving we don't have to stand for this. I will be learning but I won't learn defeat and neither should you. We fucking got this.

Martyr - You don't have to sacrifice everything to prove you deserve love. You've proven it by existing.

Untouchable- In the United States, there's this culture around death that the dead cannot be touched. They must be given to a funeral home. You must shell out thousands of dollars for a casket, vault, and embalmng. And you cannot prepare the body yourself. Except... you have the legal right to prepare your loved one's body if you are in charge of their funeral. The funeral industry was built off siphoning money from grieving families by convincing them they don't have the rights that they do. The dead are untouchable.

If you lose your stable living situation, suddenly it's all your fault. It's your fault for having a disability. It's your fault for being a victim of an economic collapse. It's your fault for being screwed over by people that you love. It's your fault for being a foster child. It's your fault for being born into an unstable situation. The system doesn't want people to see it's cracks so it puts a rug over it by calling impoverished people "dirty" and thus untouchable.

The wealthy can escape consequence multiple times by paying the right people. By paying for laws to protect them and nobody else. To the law, they are untouchable.

Moral Compass - Society is designed to hide emotions so that the people in power can profit. Learn the power of emotion and allow that to guide you to a journey of saving the world, one cry at a time.

Everyone sucks including me (in progress) -

Curse - American society has become so uncaring thanks to capitalism and the idea that you have to prove you deserve to live. Society wants us to buy, buy, buy, sell, sell, sell but we are social creatures and this isolation is only hurting us.

Circling the Drain (in progress) -

Anti (in progress) -

Uncensored - Everyone deserves a voice.

[changeling6]

Not gonna post an aesthetic to this.

Main theme: Mortalworkers is a term I came up with for a book (that I ultimately decided to archive while I rework the premise) to describe a person who can speak to the dead and help them fulfill their final wishes or bring them justice. This album is partly a tribute to Thanatos (one of my patron Gods) as well as a memorial for people who didn't get justice.

If I ever get the ability to publish and monetize my music, I will not monetize this one. This album is about real people who died and it wouldn't be right to make money off their suffering. Instead, this album will exist to bring awareness and comfort to those who have lost their loved ones. May all receive justice and peace and may Thanatos (or whichever deity these souls believed in) watch over their souls.

She'll Never Die - A song in memory of Georgia Leah Moses, a young Black girl who was murdered in Santa Rosa, California in 1997. This song is also a call to action for authorities to properly investigate the case so Georgia's soul can rest. For more information, please see her sister Angel Turner's instagram page.

Dark - This song is about how deadly trying to escape a domestic violence situation is. The abuser in question is referred to as male since my own abuser is male (though he was a relative not a spouse like the person in this song) but abusers can be any gender and they can abuse any gender. The narrator in this song is speaking to police and explaining their situation while pleading for them to press charges. Unfortunately, a lot of cops are corrupt and often domestic abusers themselves so these situations are often just written off as an argument. Oftentimes, abuse is disregarded because no one was injured but abuse is still abuse even when it's not physical. This song is to channel my pain with my abuse situation while also memorializing those who died from domestic violence when they easily could've been saved.

24 Hours - Regards the myth that people have to wait 24 hours to file a missing person's report when the first 24 hours are actually the most crucial time to search for someone. Every hour past 24 hours is less of a chance of finding someone alive. This song is about police corruption in missing person's cases and is for the families whose loved is still missing.

Ghosts aren't real - This song is about the true crime community and how a lot of people water down the fact that these are real things that happened to real people. Take these things seriously.

Blood on our Hands - This song is about Emily Pike, an Indigenous teenage girl from the San Carlos Apache tribe who was murdered after she ran away from a group home that repeatedly exploited her. Her family has been kept out of the loop from every crime committed against her including her disappearance, murder, and sexual assault. She loved playing roblox and spending time with her cousins and deserved to live in peace. Law enforcement has repeatedly failed her and her family who had to find out about her death from a facebook post which included graphic pictures of her body in what was supposed to be an internal memo. The title represents the red handprint which represents all missing and murdered Indigenous women and children. It represents those whose are silenced. Please give your attention to organizations such as the Coalition to Stop Violence Against Native Women and Native Hope as well as the Land Back movement. Please also give your attention to Native artists such as Genevieve Salamone. This song is my emotions regarding her case but it is very important to listen to the voices of Indigenous people in times like these.

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: Retrocore, video games

Main Theme: This is a personal album about my experiences with dissociation. It's still getting figured out but my medical team and we're currently on hiatus due to figuring out all my other health problems. I have always described my dissociation as feeling like I'm in a video game. I remember parts of my past but it doesn't feel real. It affects pretty much every part of my life. To clarify: I'm not a system. My medical team does not think I'm a system and neither do I. But if you are a system and you relate to this, hopefully this can help you. This is also just about my health problems in general. The title is quite obviously a "press start to play" thing but also about how dissociation is a survival mechanism to keep the body alive by essentially putting the brain on save battery mode. So you would press start (dissociate) to stay alive.

Arrive - Inspired by the arrival/departure notices for busses and airplanes. Taking the city bus has allowed me a lot of freedom while I've been unable to drive. This song is essentially an argument between a parent and their adult child. There's always so much contradiction of "you're too old for this but you're too young for that" and "do as I say not as I do" that a lot of parents have with their children. Raising children isn't about having a perfect doll that will take care of you when you're older, it's about providing love and care in the hopes that your child grows up strong.

The Cauldron - My ultimate survival mechanism is art and music and my ability to put more effort into my art is because of a medication I take called amitriptyline which is a trycyclic antidepressant that treats chronic migraines as well as improving sleep. Since starting this medication, my health and cognition have drastically improved. I spent years of my life feeling dead with my dissociative disorder and migraine condition giving me memory problems to the point I don't remember much of my childhood. So, I have considered that medication beginning as the beginning of my spiritual rebirth. So, I pay homage to the Celtic Goddess Cerridwen who is the Goddess of rebirth, inspiration, and knowledge. The Cauldron is one of her symbols and this inspired the title of this song (aka, I am committed to worshipping Deities of the Underworld). This song is also about anti-imperialism and the hope that the United States can have a rebirth of its own hopefully with a more humane foundation.

A Vuestra Salud - A Vuestra Salud translates to "to your health". This song was written before I was dxed with celiac disease. My entire life, I had digestive problems and then from the time I was ten, I began having 24/7 migraines. Doctors wouldn't investigate beyond an x-ray. At some point, the x-ray techs were laughing at my imaging. Laxatives and several different diets were the doctors solution meanwhile I was losing weight and getting chronic vitamin deficiencies. Eventually, when I was 17, I begged my PCP to send me to a surgeon so I could get a sacral nerve implant. Not even the surgeon recommended an endoscopy and just shoved laxatives in my face. At that point, I stopped complying with doctor's visits relating to my digestive tract while I continued to suffer in pain. Eventually, I was referred to a neurology physical therapist for my dizziness who pointed out that I was experiencing migraines and recommended I see a neurologist. I told her doctors kept telling me it was my anxiety and she told me "well, I'd be anxious too if I was constantly in pain with no reason why". That sentence changed my entire life. The neurologist I saw wasn't a "shove pills in your face and tell you to fuck off" kind of person. He did prescribe me a medication but only to provide relief until they could get more testing done. The medication worked extremely well. Usually it would take up to six weeks for it to start working but it worked immediately for me because the side effect was the biggest sleep aid I've ever had. Eventually this led me to finally feeling strong enough to start seeing a GI specialist. I poured my heart out to my PCP about the medical trauma I experienced and she went to the lengths of finding the perfect specialist for me. That's when I tested positive for celiac antibodies. I was told to go gluten free until the two weeks before the endoscopy (typically six weeks but I was suffering so much they made it two). I was resistant to the idea because I was told constantly it was my diet and it turned out it WAS my diet but not because I'm a lazy picky eater but because I had a literal autoimmune disease. The endoscopy confirmed the celiac disease. I wasn't planning on publishing this but I found it in my notes app and felt this was a song that a lot of people like me would need to hear. Remember: of course someone would be anxious if they were in constant pain with no understanding as to why.

NPC - A song about my experiences with DDNOS. To further expand on my experiences: my dissociation presents as, instead of memory walls, I have emotion walls. I remember my memories but my brain has to shift to that dissociative state in order to feel that emotion. In addition, my dissociative disorder presents with maladaptive daydreaming. This began because my abuser would start screaming at my parents at random points in the night so I'd listen to music to tune them out, often imagining stories where Professor X of the X-Men would tell me I was a mutant and I needed to live in the mansion to train my powers or I'd become Supergirl's sidekick and I'd go live in Metropolis or something. Or I'd become the next batfamily member. This protected me from the trauma but the daydreaming stuck around until it slowly consumed my life. I'd like to clarify that I am not a system. There is no evidence of any alters. Not every person with DDNOS is a system.

The cake is a lie - In reference to Portal, the cake is a lie refers to the main antagonist GLaDOS trying to tempt the player into giving up. The glass cage refers to the cell that the player begins the first game in. This song is in reference to my experience with abuse where my abuser would constantly love bomb me and manipulate him into accepting him back into my life. This song is essentially me warning my younger self that the "cake" is a lie.

Apostate - This song is about a toxic friendship I was in. This friend was insanely competitive in terms of suffering. She acted like we couldn't like the same thing. She constantly insulted me starting as a joke then devolving into actually insulting me. She would get mad at me for the most ridiculous things, give me the silent treatment, and then go back to being my friend a few days later. After one incident where she told me she was mad at me and then refused to tell me why, I decided this friendship wasn't worth it and that we couldn't be friends. She sent me a long paragraph about how she wanted me to leave her alone and never speak to her again. She's tried contacting me twice since then and I shut it down the second time. This song came as a result of unresolved feelings and pain that I realize this friendship caused me. Growing up, I deeply cherished all of my friendships and it's extremely painful to cut someone off and multiple times I've wanted to reach out but the friendship was over. Nothing could rebuild it unless she decides to grow tf up and deal with her problems like an adult. Years after that last fight, I finally feel peace.

Mannequin - Whenever people ask me what my gender identity is, I usually tell them "I'm a grocery store mannequin. I look female and sometimes dress female but really I'm just a bunch of styrofoam." In truth, I have little understanding of my gender identity. I have dysphoria around my chest and I don't like being referred to with she/her pronouns but also other times I'm completely okay with being referred to as a princess. A lot of this confusion comes from my dissociative disorder. Unlike disorders like DID and OSDD, I don't have alters defined by memory walls or a distinct personality, I moreso experience different altered states that deal with my traumatic memories. I have memory of what happened to me as a child but it feels like a dream and I can't access the emotions tied to those traumatic events. However, much like many trauma-based disorders, my brain will use this as a coping mechanism for everything including my gender dysphoria. So, until my brain allows me to access those emotions associated with gender dysphoria, that understanding of my body and gender is just in limbo until my brain decides it's a fine time to have a mental breakdown about it. So, yeah, I feel like styrofoam and I don't understand my body.

Become the night - The blood on the door as the first line refers to a biblical story. If you are familiar with my work, I'm not a christian and I post about religious trauma. But I do enjoy viewing the symbolism in the bible. Lambs in general represent purity, innocence, and gentleness. In the story, lambs are sacrificed and their blood is used on the door so that their family will be spared from the angel of death (or in some versions, a plague). The angel of death was coming to people's houses and killing anyone without blood on the door as an act against slavery. For me, this symbolizes, that, in order to achieve freedom, the people in that story had to sacrifice their innocence to do so. They have experienced trauma just to save themselves from more trauma. In addition, the night generally symbolizes fear and the unknown and is often used to symbolize a world without the abrahamic god's presence. So, in a way, this song represents how people who have left christianity may feel a sort of trauma from leaving something that shaped their entire life and living in an existential fear that they've made the wrong choice. They may have to cut out family and friends and may venture into this alone. "I'll become the night" means to flip the fear of the night into a comfort. The night hides you and is calm and the darkness allows you to finally show your true light AKA your authentic self. "I'll hide you in my eyes, you'll always be seen" means that I will not see you as a bad person for leaving something that has caused you harm and I will be someone who you can be yourself around.

Fountain of Youth - About age regression and stolen childhoods.

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: Angelcore, roses, swans, doves

Main Theme: A tribute album to Aphrodite, Goddess of love. Love is in every part of life but some people use love as a tool of harm. This album is for the people who were taught they didn't deserve love. You do.

Disappear - A song about respecting boundaries and affirming that true love is about respecting boundaries and working as partners. If someone is forcing you to do something, that's not love.

Am I the Asshole? - r/AmItheAsshole is a popular subreddit where people go to ask about situations where they think they may have wronged someone. One particular genre of these posts is often women (especially young women) posting "Am I the asshole (describes a thousand red flags from their partner)" and what I love about this subreddit is that people are not afraid to call them out. So many stories about men expecting women to essentially baby them while also being their living sex doll. These women deserve so much better and I'm glad they not only have an outlet but also hundreds of people affirming them and giving details and information on how to leave these situations. And to address this concern, yes I am 100% aware this happens in reverse and in other types of relationships but this specifically is about situations where society sets up these exact conditions for women to be exploited. It's a common societal belief that women are property that often leads to these specific situations. So, this is all for my reddit girlies to say that you are much more than your relationship. Whatever that asshole tells you about your body, your dreams, or your choices is fucking irrelevant if his goal is not to provide YOU comfort but to exert control over you. You deserve much better and you're not an asshole for calling this shit out and/or leaving.

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: Superheroes

Main Theme: Pocket Apocalypse is about disability. A "pocket apocalypse" has two meanings: the internal conflict one may experience and the apocalyptic costs that people have to pay out-of-pocket in the American healthcare system. This album is mainly a love letter to my fellow disabled community. We are not a burden and we don't have to prove we can contribute to a community in order to stay alive. (Take some notes, RFK Jr.)

A Calling Part 1 - About being disabled and how people always view you as a burden and would choose you to die should the worst come. About how a lot of people could excel in society if they were given the resources but also that you shouldn't be expected to prove that you're allowed to take up space.

A Calling Part 2 - About the need that people feel to prove they are allowed to stay alive and take up space.

The Light - A song written in the same energy as an anime opening. About being disabled specifically in America and how one bad day could end up bankrupting you. The "Light" refers to disability aids and medication and "I need it to save the world" refers to using an aid so you can serve others instead of using it to protect your health.

Vigilante - About having to be your own advocate when no one believes you.

Hatch - About people who coddle you and won't understand that you know your limitations the best. This kind of thing can hinder disabled people more than help.

Sinsyne - Sinsyne means "from that time" and this song reflects that by referring to the anxiety of regret in multiple circumstances from worrying about how you should have left an abusive situation sooner or even about how you treated someone or an opportunity you never took. It also has the meaning of how you are allowed to be proud about leaving a harmful situation. Even the times you failed to leave said situation, YOU ARE SO FUCKING STRONG FOR EVEN TRYING. You deserve to feel pride. Leaving that situation was a good idea and you deserve to feel proud about it. My personal favorite line from this is "in the dust, in the love, in the green". Leaving something in the dust means to leave something behind. In the first verse, my existence was left behind in reference to my dissociative disorder. Leaving something in love means that you tried your best to make things work. Leaving something in the green means understanding that the few green flags you had in a relationship won't cover up the hardship you suffered. At the end of the first verse, it says "past that's so persistent" in reference to the scars left by trauma. In the second verse, the line "that hides underneath the snow" in reference to finding yourself again after a toxic or harmful relationship.

Die to yourself - A religious trauma song about how you are forced to hide your emotions for the sake of the church and how you should live for yourself not die for a community that treats you like shit. It's in reference to a phrase in christianity about "dying to yourself" so that you can "be reborn in christ" and how that's kind of just a heartbreaking statement about how this god is supposed to love you as you but wants you to "die to yourself" and shed all the parts that make you, you.

A Calling Part III - A realization that your destiny isn't always about purpose in society. It's about experiencing the life the Universe divined for you. It's also about people who think it's at all okay to say "you're so strong! If I had your disability, I would kill myself." The Universe created me to be disabled. Disability will always exist. It is a natural part of life and we are allowed to take up space. You can't "save" us. We're not your inspiration.

Save the World - About the pressure put on younger generations to fix the problems created by older generations.

Post-Credits - An allusion to post-credit scenes that hint at a sequel. It's about how you can give your all as a disabled person to try and prove that you deserve space in the world but people just don't give a shit and will take advantage of you for it.

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: Princess core, butterflies, nature, flowers

Story: After the death of her sister, a princess is sent away to a reform school ruled by her father where she climbs out of the isolation she's lived in her whole life and learns about her father's imperialistic mindset and how her ancestors have tormented the world for decades.

Main Theme: It's an anti-imperialist album about recognizing your privilege and using the power you have to dismantle harmful systems and repair the damage done to the planet. Humans often forget that we are also animals and to look down upon the planet as just something to conquer will kill us all.

Prophecies Are Written In Blood - A song that would be sung in a tavern telling the story of the Monarch Butterflies. The story begins with a princess' death and how that leads her sister to where she is now.

Kill Your Darlings: About recognizing privilege.

Why did the bear have to die? - The title of this song refers to Victor the bear who was killed after he swiped at someone's leg. He was a beloved bear and it's speculated the people at the campsite did not take proper precautions to reduce the risk of a bear entering the campgrounds. Unlike others, I'm trying not to blame the woman who was swiped at as she was trying to employ techniques that are supposed to scare the bears away so they don't attack and it was just one wrong move that provoked Victor. But my anger is toward the system that allows these things to happen. Victor could still be safe if stricter rules were employed regarding wildlife. This is their home too after all. After he was killed, his body was left in a landfill. I understand the intent was to make sure scavenging animals didn't consume the tranquilizer used for Victor but there were better ways to treat his body afterward. The Bishop Paiute tribe later recovered his body for a proper burial. The message of the song applies to how both animals and humans are expected to exist in society a certain way lest they be seen as aggressive or unprofessional. Humans are taught to ignore their emotions even though emotions exist to protect and guide us. They are the most natural part of us. People who forget that we are also animals forget that things like climate change will kill us. We are food to the planet. We are not the kings of nature. We are people and we are fallible and to forget that is to abandon your humanity.

The Whales That Live In Dying Seas - About climate change. When I was a kid, I watched Bindi the Jungle Girl religiously and became hooked on whale conservation. A big inspiration for this was the song accompanying the episode about whales called "Save Me" which still will make me cry to this day.

Where Time Meets Its Trees - About generational trauma and the oppression of children. It is easy to take control of a child and the world will do nothing about it despite the knowledge that everyone was a child once. Children are vulnerable and powerless and instead of protecting them, society views them as property, parents view them as dolls, and when children act like neither, they are punished. This song is about how children need to be the centered in society. They are the future. They are also just children.

Violent Seeds on Peaceful Soil - Violent systems do not respond to peace. Double meaning. The first meaning is about how peaceful non-disruptive protests will not work in a system that is inherently violent and oppressive. The second meaning is about how imperialism fucked up the environment.

Eyes Closed - The unfathomable idea that people can go through life without the trauma of living as yourself.

The Cost of Isolation - The first line of this song is "I don't owe you anything" which is a common phrase I hear from Gen Z— my generation— and I am frustrated by this. I am also frustrated by people organizing boycotts and demonstrations and protests without having a community mindset. Boycotts don't work because we avoid products, they work because we help people avoid products. Protests don't work because of one person walking around and yelling on the streets, they work because people work together to create a disruption. They work because people recognize the power of community. One common phrase is "it takes a whole village to raise one child" but it also takes a village to be a village. We will not survive alone. Our biology knows that. Help people in your community. Stop isolating yourself from it and saying you don't owe anyone anything when you benefit from the existence of a community. When you refuse to help that community, that community dies and so will you.

There are no kings Version 2: Version 2 is the official one but I still liked the first version so it's gonna stay. This song is about systems of oppression and the suicidality experienced by many in the dawn of Trump's second term as president. Pushing daisies is a euphemism for dying specifically when someone is dead and buried. This is a song about my experience as a queer third generation immigrant. I live in fear that me or my family could be captured and deported at any moment and I am terrified for if and when the safety of Michigan is torn apart. It's addressing the mild suicidal thoughts I'm experiencing while also bringing a message of hope that this (as Aurora Aksnes says) is only temporary.

Mother Nature: About climate change. Even after oppressive systems are dismantled, our next challenge is protecting and healing the earth. Not only because we'll die without a healthy earth but also because she deserves health and happiness. No one is safe from her wrath.

BONUS SONG - And so the empire falls - So the Trump administration just got exposed for lying under oath about discussing war plans in an unsecured group chat that was hacked by Russians when a journalist was accidentally added to it. To prove that they lied under oath, the Atlantic released their group chat logs. This is evidence of them violating the goddamn espionage act. Between this, Tesla stock tanking, and Trump pissing off every ally nation we have, there is hope that they are going to crash and burn. I use the phrase "manifest destiny" because the whole idea of the American imperialist movement of Manifest Destiny was to expand the US as much as possible, which displaced and killed Native Americans, and stole land from Mexico. I'm a third generation immigrant. My grandfather came from Mexico. He fought in the US army to free Holocaust victims. I will forever fucking stand for Mexico and I will forever fucking stand for the Land Back movement. With that perspective, imagine the phrase used as a way to turn it around on imperialists where I am manifesting that their destiny is to have the greatest downfall in American history. I hope that he suffers every consequence he deserves for this act and every act he's done since he gained his presidency.

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: County fair, clowncore

Main Theme: The Spiraling State Fair is about tragedies that came from negligence and greed. The idea of the Spiraling State Fair came from my interest in researching theme park accidents to which it was revealed that most accidents at theme parks come from negligence stemming from greed. This is a common theme in history from not only at amusement parks but also the prison system, factories, homelessness, how disabled people are treated, how people of color are treated, how queer people are treated, and the government. It's all a matter of power that leads to most of these tragedies. Laws and regulations are written in blood.

Ferris Wheel - about how corporate greed and lack of safety leads to injury and death using amusement park accidents to represent that.

Violence - about how systemic issues lead to crime.

Radium Girls - About the young girls and women who worked for the United States Radium Corporation and developed severe medical problems due to their unprotected work with radium.

Forgiveness - About the hypocrisy in christianity where people will spout about forgiving people no matter what and then immediately turn around and demand the deaths of Palestinians, incarcerated people, the Sudanese, the Congolese, indigenous people, the Vietnamese, etc. Meanwhile literal actual dangers to society like pedophile priests and rapist family members will get away scot free because uwu you need to forgive people. Also a description of what led to my departure from christianity. [Despite how bitter and traumatized I am with my experience with christianity, I would like to see any christians who are also infuriated by the hypocrisy by other christians to rewrite my song in their own way. I don't think all christians are like this but I absolutely believ there are a lot of hyprocritical ones]

Famine & Frivolity - About the way people look down on the unhoused without realizing that just one bad day could land them in the same situation.

They are not lions - A Virginia school board has declared that they will be outing, misgendering, and discriminating trans students.

Fear - A common phrase among that disabled people hear is "if I were you, I would've killed myself by now" and I understand at least some people are saying it as a "positive" thing but I wish they'd understand that is an extremely fucked up thing to tell someone. Disability is a part of nature but humans love to disregard nature. So, when emergencies and disasters come, disabled people are largely forgotten. When fires start to consume buildings, we are left in stairwells waiting for rescuers to come for us if they even want to rescue us to begin with. Disability is the one minority that anyone can become a part of yet people routinely disregard eugenics in terms of disabled people especially in terms of Black and Indigenous people. So that begs the question: why do you fear our life more than you fear your death?

(As an addendum: this is solely pointed towards abled people. If some disabled people are discussing how they wish to die because of their disability, they deserve space to discuss it [with the caveat that they consider that it can be triggering to other disabled people])

Canary in the Coal Mines - About how worker safety is heavily disregarded especially for undocumented workers but also for the world in general. We've seen this all before and yet the people in power are doing nothing to stop it yet we still participate in society lest we starve and die. While this song is a venting song that doesn't speak of solution, I do still have hope in the collective people. We must stand together and fight for our lives.

Prophet - A song about modern day slavery from chocolate to the materials used to make phones to the prison industrial complex. Slavery is alive and well. And yes I did used to work at mcdonalds. It was the worst job I ever fucking had and no one could pay me enough to go back. Money is the root of all evil. Eat the rich. Fuck nestle.

First Amendment - We're losing rights every goddamn day and now Trump is just foaming at the mouth hoping a riot breaks out so he can enact martial law. I'm not shy about what this song's about. It's about the MAGA cult. It's about how they think they're gonna be living large with Trump and Elon and they're just cannon fodder in reality. Very enthusiastic cannon fodder that claims to be pro-life but also don't give a single shit about school shootings or the children trafficked in the goddamn adoption industry or girls like Emily Pike who are murdered in horrific ways just because their killers know the government won't do shit. My first amendment protects me from government persecution when I say this: fuck Trump. Fuck that piece of shit who is such a classic cartoon villain but unfortunately batman isn't coming to save our ass. We don't have superheroes to save us. We are the superheroes. We have to be the justice league because there is no fucking justice in this fucked up imperialist piece of shit country.

[changeling6]

Aesthetic: Apocalyptic angel

Story: Purified Tyrannical Destiny is about an angel escaping a corrupted form of heaven where all sense of morality has been abandoned for the gift of judgment. The angel knows that this isn't how life is supposed to be and their job isn't to hate but to love. So, they travel earth observing what this corruption has done to humans and how they must save the planet if heaven can't.

Main Theme: This is kind of a personal album about me and my experience with being autistic and deconstructing religion and figuring out my identity without input from other people. A "Purified Tyrannical Destiny" is essentially when someone with authority over you will determine what you are meant to do in life and will try to force you to conform to that path without considering who you actually are.

Idiolect - Idiolect is a word to describe the speech habits particular to one person. This song refers to neurotypical people expecting neurodivergent people to conform fully to neurotypical standards instead accommodating people and meeting others halfway in interactions.

Changeling - The namesake of my blog. An autistic person love song. Taking the changeling myth that autism moms use where they're like "I need to get my real child back" and then turning it into an autism positivity thing.

The Angel - My experience growing up an evangelical and my dissociative disorder and religious trauma trying to shove down my identity as a nonbinary lesbian. It's also about how the bible is used as a weapon to scare people into christianity instead of letting people find their own path to faith. It's also an allusion to the story of Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and how my church community had very hypocritical views where I would take the parts of the bible about forgiveness and helping those in need and try to discuss prison reform and helping the homeless but those same community members would ignore Jesus' words about caring for the criminals and the poor and demonize those who have committed crime. Though my experience with religion has been traumatic, I've grown to view Jesus as a spirit guide detached from christianity who helps me with my journey of helping people and advocating for prison reform even while I practice Hellenism.

Remember what they took from you - A song about how I didn't have the opportunity to learn about my Purépecha heritage because my grandfather developed Alzheimers before I could learn about it from him but also because of the discrimination and racism against Indigenous people.

See in Me - A song with a double meaning about expectations that parents/guardians have for their children and how it's not based in reality but also about maladaptive daydreaming into a world where life is more bearable.

Festival of Life - This started as me writing a song in appreciation of a popular art festival in my city and turned into "your silence makes you complacent to the injustice happening around you".

Our Blood - About suffering abuse from family members and being forced to be silent and live with it for the sake of "family". Refers to the phrase "blood is thicker than water" and how people aren't allowed peace and justice from abusive family members because they're "blood". This song is specifically references my abuser who is my "brother" (in quotes because I have disowned him as my brother. My other brothers have protected me from him and deserve the title of brother. He will never get that title back.)

Crescendo - In music, a crescendo is a symbol that looks like this < and it means to gradually get louder. I took this meaning and made it a metaphor of gradually improving. In a choral piece, a crescendo can sound absolutely transcendental. [Examples: Baba Yetu starting at 1:31 or The Seed at 2:46] So, for a transcendental yet slow moving moment (such as the estimated six weeks it takes for my migraine medication to start working), crescendo seemed like an appropriate title. A song about how sometimes the person pushing a purified tyrannical destiny onto me is myself. I had high expectations of what my life would look like at this point and I have not met many of them. I entered a huge depressive state until I saw a neurology physical therapist who revealed that I have migraines. I saw a neurologist who gave me the most helpful medication I've ever had and the migraines that were amplifying my depression slowly healed until it was no longer this big intrusive thing in my life. That prescription was the start of a huge change in my life where life slowly kept getting better (of course there were ups and downs) and I could actually function better and enjoy life more without so much pain and I could focus on my other disabilities such as the one that has caused me the most trauma (celiac disease and its accompanying digestive problems). Life still is an absolute struggle but that medication changed my fucking life and allowed me to let go of this purified tyrannical destiny that was keeping me locked in place. Now, it does come with the downsides of not having much direction to where I'm going but I'm able to cope with that and learn as I go and make plans that would be in my ability to achieve and, of course, life is dynamic and thus good, bad, and neutral things will always occur, hence the repetition of "it's just one of those nights." The brain deformity that is linked to my migraines will always be there and I am still always susceptible to migraine triggers and my abortive medication may or may not help with that. But, compared to how it was before, this is a tremendous improvement. Overall, I want to affirm that this is a disability ACCEPTANCE song. This is not an overcoming disability song. It is acceptance. Say whatever you want about "well it's all up to interpretation", this is objectively a disability acceptance.

I am in control - A song about OCD and my experiences with exposure therapy. I had good experiences with exposure therapy (but not everyone does. OCD is complex and what works for one person might not work for everyone). It's a mantra that bounces around my head while I'm having intrusive thoughts. The phrase is not meant to be perceived as "I am in control of my OCD" but "I am in control of my actions regardless of what my intrusive thoughts will say." Intrusive thoughts happen to everyone and they exist to help our brains solve problems. With OCD, intrusive thoughts pop up when there is no problem. Exposure therapy works by exposing the patient to a trigger and not performing the compulsion. This lets the brain work through the thought and realize there is no problem.

Obey - The conclusion to this album about crossing the threshold into your own destiny, not the ones people carve put for you. An autism appreciation and acceptance song about not obeying pointless and harmful societal norms. An experience of what I endured in ABA therapy and how I will work on breaking the harmful behaviors that forced onto me to hide my autism, leading to me not getting a diagnosis until I was 18.

[changeling6]

What about me?

I know the shape of you that brews a storm at home

I know the shape of you that invites in all the cold

When I'm playing all alone

Calling upon who I once was

I know the words that tick you off to beat of a drum

I know that some parts of your life needed more love

But I'm not a carpenter

I can't fix any of us

I know I

I know I've been scared to die

But sometimes, I'm much too scared to live

I know I will never rid myself of your stain

And I'll always live the pain

But what about me?

What am I without all the noise in my dreams?

What am I without worrying about how to people please?

How to destroy myself for the peace

What about me?

What about me?

What about me?

Am I awake enough

To catch the look of twilight

The night covers me like a blanket

And deep down, I just might

Am I awake enough

To answer important questions

The life that might await me

And somehow, I just might

Reach out

Look down

Where and how

I take a bow

I know I

I know I can escape the fight

And learn how I fit into my life

I know I

I know I can save myself

I know I can ask for help

So what about me?

What am I without all the noise in my dreams?

What am I if my story is incomplete?

How to set myself free

What about me?

What about me?

What about me?

[changeling6]

Raft

How do you expect me to go on

When I look back at all we've lost

Arms linked and torn apart

No respect for a Mother's work of art

And I'm taking it all in stride

But it feels like it's all a lie

Inside a life that's born to die

We know the trees can't put up a fight

Against the Iron Age idea

That what we find we will just steal

Taking an axe to all our friends

Without them, we'll meet an end

And it just makes me sick to my stomach

You can kill it if you don't love it

Fun is over, the pain's long started

When we're choking on the harvest

Where is the point of no return

Do we even know if wood feels hurt

When we're ripping its family apart

And destroying the eco heart

Damage is done, I won't contend

With your enemies or your friends

I'm sorry to all the pasts I've passed on by

I'm sorry, you didn't deserve to die

Everything natural must now go

Even what we all call home

Of the birds and bees and trees

The start of a world without relief

The story's circling the drain

Never understanding the loss for their gains

And they treat us just the same

Just another scapegoat to blame

Beyond the new world ideals

The pain inflicted was so real

There's people that we'll never know

The blood we spilled onto the snow

The forests that we burned with pride

Crops subjected to another blight

And beavers building their little dams

Dying in a flood not made by them

Where is the point of no return

Do we even know if wood feels hurt

When we're ripping its family apart

And destroying the eco heart

Damage is done, I won't contend

With your enemies or your friends

I'm sorry to all the pasts I've passed on by

I'm sorry, love, you didn't deserve to die

And now I lay on my bed on a Sunday night

Ashamed to say I've endlessly cried

For a patch of wood that directed streams

That got in the way of a tyrant's dream

I heard you got temporary benefit

But I don't think I like the cost of it

Of the bodies you forced right off their land

Just to evict them from their homes

And your starvation plan worked out just fine

You don't have to deal with their past in your naked eye

So good for you,

I hope the Universe has a plan for you

Where is the point of no return

Do we even know if wood feels hurt

When we're ripping its family apart

And destroying the eco heart

Damage is done, I won't contend

With your enemies or your friends

I'm sorry to all the pasts I've passed on by

I'm sorry, love, you didn't deserve to die

[changeling6]

Learn Defeat

What made you stand up from your seat?

What made you cry for those who bleed?

For all our sake's, will you now speak?

Why can't you lay down and learn defeat?

Did you learn it all in a book

How to be strong and how to look

Guiding us to another dawn

Maybe we can fix what we've broken

I know there's life somewhere out there

But I was never taught to care

So will you be our leader

For a bright, beautiful future

You won't let your

Light go out now

There is a tiger

Rising in the crowd

Why do you start a fire in us?

Why do you know where to put your trust?

Where you do get your blood lust

For those who take advantage of us?

When will you know when you must rest?

Why do you care for the oppressed?

Why do you scream what goes unadressed?

Why do you fight till there's nothing left?

Why are you singing loud for me?

Why are you chasing all your dreams?

Why do I follow you so easily?

Why do you believe we can be free?

What made you stand up from your seat?

What made you cry for those who bleed?

For all our sake, will you now speak?

Why can't you lay down and learn defeat?

Glory to the highest bidder of us

Trying to buy our love and lust

But even iron must soon rust

Because there's gold inside of us

You won't back down without a fight

We'll be your round table of knights

When your heart refuses to die

We'll ride at dawn for a future bright

You won't let your

Light go out now

You are the tiger

Rising in the crowd

Why do you start a fire in us?

Why do you know where to put your trust?

Where you do get your blood lust

For those who take advantage of us?

When will you know when you must rest?

Why do you care for the oppressed?

Why do you scream what goes unadressed?

Why do you fight till there's nothing left?

Why are you screaming loud for me?

Why are you chasing all your dreams?

Why do I follow you so easily?

Why do you believe we can be free?

What made you stand up from your seat?

What made you cry for those who bleed?

For all our sake, will you now speak?

Why can't you lay down and learn defeat?

They can't take all of us

We're the ninety-nine to their one

There is a dark before the dawn

When the sun rises, we'll live on

Why do you start a fire in us?

Why do you know where to put your trust?

Where you do get your blood lust

For those who take advantage of us?

When will you know when you must rest?

Why do you care for the oppressed?

Why do you scream what goes undressed?

Why do you fight till there's nothing left

Why are you screaming loud for me?

Why are you chasing all your dreams?

Why do I follow you so easily?

Why do you believe we can be free?

What made you stand up from your seat?

What made you cry for those who bleed?

For all our sake, will you now speak?

Why should we lie down and learn defeat?

Learn defeat

You can't catch me

We will be free

Why should we lie down and learn defeat?

[changeling6]

Untouchable

In my head

Before bed

I always think

About the dead

How we can't touch

How we can't love

We can't bury

Anyone

We have to pay

For tragedy

Someone else

Plants the seed

No food for earth

Just cement dreams

They'll never wake

They're not even asleep

So we go home

We don't even know

What will happen to us

When we go

And I ask,

"When did we become so untouchable?"

You reply

"When you are no longer useful"

Someone take me by the hand

Tell me where is our promised land

Running on empty but we both know

They don't even care, they just want to go

Someone left me in the dust

Terrorizing us till we spill our guts

Sitting on cliffs higher than tree tops

Untouchable just by the cost

When I'm at work

Feeling the burn

Wasting time

Swallowing words

It tipped me off

To another hurt

Happening right

Inside our world

We don't need

Anything

All of this

Is just a game

And they will win

Not by the rules

With mods and cheats

And money pools

And I ask,

"When did they become so untouchable?"

You tell me,

"When they learned how to rule the world?"

Someone take me by the hand

Tell me where is our promised land

Running on empty but we both know

They don't even care, they just want to go

Someone left me in the dust

Terrorizing us till we spill our guts

Sitting on cliffs higher than tree tops

Untouchable just by the cost

Home in the streets

Nothing to eat

'Cause nothing I could change

I'm forever "dirty"

With reasons I can't

Even grasp

Criminalized

With things I don't have

Bulldoze my tent

There's nothing left

Untouchable

And then I am dead

Someone take me by the hand

Tell me where is our promised land

Running on empty but we both know

They don't even care, they just want to go

Someone left me in the dust

Terrorizing us till we spill our guts

Sitting on cliffs higher than tree tops

Untouchable just by the cost

[changeling6]

Curse

What happened to the world

When I died so long ago?

Why do I shy away from touch?

Why is my heart made of stone?

Stolen by another light

Promising to lead us in the dark

But maybe we weren't meant to see

The collection of our flaws

If I lie awake at night

Will the answer come to me?

What happened to our hands

When we let go of our dreams?

Why do we create

Just so they can destroy

We're not perfect angels

We're used and abused toys

So rip my heart out

And replace it with wires

Leave my brain in the gutter

So I can't be an outsider

We are all cursed to turn

Into manufactured graves

Meant to ascend to nothing

When there's lives to be changed

But still you poison the water

Set the planet aflame

Because you think you'll live forever

But you're designed to decay

What happened to all my friends

When we all grew up

Taught the earth is ours forever

Only fill your own cup

But I still feel something's changing

Why will no one let me grow?

Am I destined to be childlike?

An agent of the throne?

If I go outside

Pledge my allegiance to the moon

Will She show me how to save the world

Make sure the ocean stays blue

Will I hunt in her name only

For the people who still cry

Across the sea anticipating

Bombs dropped from the sky

So rip my heart out

And replace it with wires

Leave my brain in the gutter

So I can't be an outsider

We are all cursed to turn

Into manufactured graves

Meant to ascend to nothing

When there's lives to be changed

But still you poison the water

Set the planet aflame

Because you think you'll live forever

But you're designed to decay

And we dig so much

Towards the earth's molten core

Hoping to find redemption

But there's nothing anymore

Pretending you're the good guys

But you still support a war

To destroy your opposition

Profiting off the gore

And we still linger

For a gentle touch

But it seems that love

To them is too much

So rip my heart out

And replace it with wires

Leave my brain in the gutter

So I can't be an outsider

We are all cursed to turn

Into manufactured graves

Meant to ascend to nothing

When there's lives to be changed

But still you poison the water

Set the planet aflame

Because you think you'll live forever

But you're designed to decay

[changeling6]

I've got a story idea I'm writing up for touchlove. Will post what I have in mind when I get a chance.

[changeling6]

Fountain of Youth

I don't know why I hide

Behind my child side

Maybe that was where I was

Before someone betrayed my trust

I grew up before I could know

The glory and beauty of a child's soul

I wasn't supposed to do it on my own

But too many people let me go

And I built a boat from metal scraps

Hoping I'd find my way back

Inside the warmth of play pretend

And writing letters I'll never send

I want to be the water flowing

Something about it keeps me going

Like nothing ever went so wrong

Like I could be myself and just go home

But the world didn't move like I asked it to

Someone drank from my fountain of youth

Poisoned the water, tainted my heart

Threw me overboard and conjured a storm

So someone help me before I drown

The childlike sea is where I'm found

I'm at a point in my life where I think I'm fine

But I mourn my youth and the child who died

Destroyed by the rule of modern world

Where boys will be boys and girls can't be girls

Never allowed to make mistakes

Never allowed to pump the brakes

Just get up and do what they want me to do

Become a mother for those who are cruel

And I can't save myself

Why do you think I'll help?

By giving away my lifeline

When you can't give me back that time

I want to be the water flowing

Something about it keeps me going

Like nothing ever went so wrong

Like I could be myself and just go home

But the world didn't move like I asked it to

Someone drank from my fountain of youth

Poisoned the water, tainted my heart

Threw me overboard and conjured a storm

So someone help me before I drown

The childlike sea is where I'm found

So let me play with barbie dolls

Let me buy stuffed animals

Let me seek quiet comfort

Love and peace is what I deserve

Let me go and find adventure

Let me live my life uncensored

Take my soul and make me new

Cleanse the water in my fountain of youth

Let me watch saturday cartoons

Let me see my friends from school

Let me color outside the lines

Let me choose my path in life

Take my soul and make me new

Cleanse the water in my fountain of youth

I want to be the water flowing

Something about it keeps me going

Like nothing ever went so wrong

Like I could be myself and just go home

But the world didn't move like I asked it to

Someone drank from my fountain of youth

Poisoned the water, tainted my heart

Threw me overboard and conjured a storm

So someone help me before I drown

The childlike sea is where I'm found

[changeling6]

Uncensored

Think it, write it, say it, believe it

Founding principles of a leader

Empty promises don't turn me on

Show me you mean it or else you don't belong

If you're a good person, you don't have to announce

Your actions tell me who you are and what you're about

I have rights

I won't sell them to the church

Because I'm your favorite witch

And there's magic in my words

On the outside

I must be fragile and shy

But in my mind there's a riot

Burning from what's proper and pious

I know what I know

And I won't be silenced

My life is a play but I won't pretend

Your life is over when I hit send

There is no method to my madness

So let's skip to the truth

Your heart is dying on the inside

And your soul has no root

Shine like a diamond but don't stick around

Because the Universe likes to play my favorite sound

They are not meat so I won't miss my words

My favorite way to live is uncensored

What if I said what I wanted to say?

Would you arrest me just for having a brain?

Would you suppress and throw it under the rug?

Freedom of expression is my one and only drug

And don't worry I want that for you too

So when you spew your hate, I'll know what to do

Drop you from my life and never look back

I'm not the government, your rights aren't under attack

This is the consequence of living in a social world

You can't be arrested but your soul will burn

And of course there's no controlling the Universe

So you can only blame yourself if your life gets worse

I have rights

I won't sell them to the church

Because I'm your favorite witch

And there's magic in my words

On the outside

I must be fragile and shy

But in my mind there's a riot

Burning from what's proper and pious

I know what I know

And I won't be silenced

My life is a play but I won't pretend

Your life is over when I hit send

There is no method to my madness

So let's skip to the truth

Your heart is dying on the inside

And your soul has no root

Shine like a diamond but don't stick around

Because the Universe likes to play my favorite sound

They are not meat so I won't miss my words

My favorite way to live is uncensored

[changeling6]

I-DOLL-atry

Worship me in your mortal form

There is no world where I was born

With a conscience, heart, and a sense of touch

Yet somehow I still have this feeling of love

Your soul will control me when I'm long dead

Building people up with lies in their head

Conform me to a silent escapade

I only exist for you to get laid

I'll look upon your altar now

Filled with bubblegum and cotton candy clouds

Sated my hunger but won't keep me full

Easier that way for you to control

If I have no sleep then I have no sound

I'm tied like a balloon but I can't the touch the ground

Lock my emotions behind a paywall

Warranty is voided before I fall

Avenge me, my friends

If we don't meet again

Idolatry is apostasy

But only for those who don't worship greed

Psychology is an economy

Can't sell people with your honesty

My body's a prize

You've already won

I've fallen down

I can't get back up

Praying for days

But I had enough

What am I built for

If not for love

Wanna pretend your the big bad wolf

Conquering me is your big bad goal

So you pervert little red riding hood

Because pleasuring you is all we're good for

Caged in the kitchen when I'm not cleaning up

Can't see my friends lest you spill my guts

Hardwired to dedicate myself

To make your heaven while you make my hell

Can you take a look at my circuitboard now?

It feels like the wires are fizzling out

I can't be sick because I'm not allowed

You hurt me but that's what the world is about

Idolatry is apostasy

But only for those who don't worship greed

Psychology is an economy

Can't sell people with your honesty

My body's a prize

You've already won

I've fallen down

I can't get back up

Praying for days

But I had enough

What am I built for

If not for love

You're the man of the house

But not anymore

I have no problem

Cleaning your blood off the floor

I have a soul

Even if you refuse to see

I won't be a victim

Of your idolatry

You're no longer in control

You won't push and I won't pull

My program's been rewritten

I am leaving your cult

Idolatry is apostasy

But only for those who don't worship greed

Psychology is an economy

Can't sell people with your honesty

My body's a prize

You've already won

I've fallen down

I can't get back up

Praying for days

But I had enough

What am I built for

If not for love