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but I feel like a fucking bitch , by me, 2025. this is like my diary

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can you recommend some fav ao3 fics lately x

grieving lessons by @scenedenial everything nice by @janedazey walk on by by @thefudge broke both early & late by @widespindriftgaze coming home by mothman

🫶🏼✨.

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I SHALL NOT WANT , by me, 2025. i don’t usually do textile work but i have been lately i guess!

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June Jordan, from "Intifada Incantation: Poem #8 for b.b.L.", Directed by Desire: The Complete Poems of June Jordan

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‘Love is an organic thing. It rots and softens.’

Words by Clementine Von Radics

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i'm really sorry you recently had a negative experience with sharing your fic. i wanted to let you know that i think your writing style is really special - not just elegant and concise but also in some ways unlike any writing i've read before, not just in fandom but in literature generally. unique and very beautiful. i'll always look forward to reading anything you write, especially sydcarmy <3 but absolutely respect your choice about what you do and don't share. inspired and awed by you.

let me preface this by saying I’m terrible at replying to messages in general, let alone nice messages, let alone messages like this from people like you that are so dizzyingly beyond the realms of generosity & kindness that I find myself struggling for words, any words, that I might string together to form some semblance of a thank you. it was a negative experience but it’s fleeting, right? it sort of stops existing the minute you stop giving it airtime or attention, neither of which it was ever worthy of. I reposted princess cake because I loved writing it & sharing any words I loved writing with readers like you is literally a gift to me; the rest is just sound in a vacuum. anyway, this is all to say: your message helped me clarify all that, & put back centre what’s so lovely about fic and fandom, which is people like you. 🤍

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Hilary Mantel, from Wolf Hall (Thomas Cromwell, #1)

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Dig, Bryan Borland

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i. gustav vigeland eros and psyche / auguste rodin ii. triton and nereid, iii. the kiss, vi. eternal idol / iv. miklós ligeti / v. stephen sinding the mennesker

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Hi, I’m sorry in advance if I can’t articulate this in the best way but I just wanted to tell you that I adore your writing— have, for the last few years. It makes me really sad and sick to know that someone was rude to you in your comments, enough so(but any amount is ‘enough’, it’s inexcusable when it’s something that comes from the heart & to have that stepped on…) that it forced you to pull back. Your writing is an inspiration, a lil light I have the privilege of looking back on and being reminded of just why I love these fandoms(euphoria, asoif, the bear) when things got tough, I could trace back to those and feel like the world could be a little lighter bc of them. I myself had to leave my sideblog due to some pretty dogged harassment from a handful of the bear blogs(sydrichie could’ve been a tag they blocked but when someone hates something enough to go out of their way…) ANYWAY sorry. I’m trying to say I understand and your writing’s an art and I hope to god whatever they said you didn’t take to heart because your writing inspired me to actually post something of my own for the first time and it’s just. Very special to have a skill like yours, I hope you cherish it the way your followers do, know that it’s something special and hard-won. Not everyone can write like you do or inspire the way you do. You’re great, I hope your pillow’s cool every night & that you have an amazing rest of your year, you deserve it. Much love have a good one

oh god oh god oh god, what to say to this, to you, except that I hold you in my heart, I really do, I hold you there!! 🫀 I’m sorry someone stepped into your space with the sole intent of filling it with negativity as well, & I’m honoured you put something out into the world because of the words we share—there’s magic in that. thank you for being here today & for the last few years; I appreciate you, this message, anon & afar, more than you’ll ever know. ✨

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this post has been flagged for

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Jake Gyllenhaal’s Detective Loki is a little too hot like what the fuck do you mean you’re angry all the time, have tattoos everywhere, hair slicked back and when you’re angry it becomes beautifully dishevelled and strands fall over your face what do you mean

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Bound (Lana Wachowski & Lilly Wachowski, 1996)

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why did you archive princess cake? can you pls make it available again i was looking forward to reading it x

some things happened that really took the shine off sharing that story for me, & sharing anything sydcarmy at all going forward, to be honest. I think it’s really important to remember that there is a real person on the other side of the screen: a real person that’s sharing something for fun, for free, & not to have it attacked for no apparent reason, vague-blogged about, torn apart etc. etc. 🤷🏻‍♀️ nothing stuck, but I just thought why the fuck should I let my words—precious, beautiful things that they are—linger in a space someone tried to drag them through to ruin? waste of energy; life’s draining enough these days without feeding these people that literally try their best to ruin fandom for themselves and everyone else. x

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Colin Farrell The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (2017)

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Joy Sullivan, from “Sad Lovers”, Instructions for Traveling West

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Forgive me, I am soft and warm, but cruel and a coward, I know nothing but goodbye, goodbye