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My roommates got married last week and said today that they’re planning on moving to somewhere else in the city, and asked me to move with them when they do.

Which I appreciate so much, they’re both fantastic roommates and I really don’t want to try and find another place on my own, but also. Jesus Christ what a look. “Hiii we’re the Thompsons, we just moved in down the street, that’s my husband and that’s the ghoul who used to live in our basement”

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One of my favorite moments in philosophy is when Ludwig Wittgenstein drew a cute lil guy to explain the concept of an image (sorry, picture-object).

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spent a looooong time looking at the Assyrian artifacts at the British Museum and it got me really thinking about potential inspirations for the hornsent from Assyrian culture! I’ve mentioned before that Enir-Ilim is pretty clearly inspired by the city of Babylon, and Belurat’s entryway resembles a ziggurat’s central stairway — elden ring’s fictional cultures aren’t meant to be 1:1 recreations of historical societies, so it makes sense to me that the devs would take bits of inspiration from all over ancient Mesopotamia.

Balawat Gates

the names “Balawat” and “Belurat” are so similar, I’m convinced there’s no way it’s a coincidence! but in addition to the similar names, the gates are adorned with bronze bands detailing scenes of military campaigns that are pretty visually similar to the metal gates of hornsent settlements:

Bird and Lion-headed warriors

These figures were taken from King Ashurnasirpal II’s palace at Nimrud and King Ashurbanipal’s palace at Nineveh. They’re regarded as supernatural spirits who would protect and purify the palace, preventing evil forces from entering.

This is essentially the same role that the Divine Beast and Bird warriors had — they’re sacred animal-headed warriors who ritually channel divine power in order to defend Enir-Ilim from outsiders.

Sacred Tree

The guardian spirits of Assyrian palaces are often depicted alongside a “tree of life” motif. The idea of a sacred spiraled tree is pretty important to hornsent culture as well, and features on stone tablets around Belurat.

Lion Hunt

These reliefs are from King Ashurbanipal’s palace at Nineveh and depict the royal lion hunt, understood as a ritual act that represented the king’s role as a protector, vanquishing forces of danger.

Divine beast heads appear to be actual lion heads that have been turned into theatrical costume heads for the ritual lion dance… I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a similar hornsent tradition of ritually hunting lions to use for the lion dance and to commune with the divine beasts of the heavens. In any case, the importance of the lion in Assyrian culture seems like a pretty likely influence on the hornsent’s culture!

I can’t be 100% sure if all these pieces of art were actually referenced by the devs when creating the hornsent culture, but I think the similarities speak for themselves!

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When the way the NPCs calls you affects the way you see yourself

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Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Monday hard

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I took shit ton of Ativan last night and apparently I had dinner with my mom and don’t remember ANY of it and slept 20 hours??

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The anon button is not for hate. The anon button is for horny and embarrassed about it.

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The plot structures of movies need to start taking more cues from classic opera. Open with a fucker in a hat who directly addresses the audience and explains what's going on in a way that raises far more questions than it answers, then immediately drop the viewer into the middle of a shouting argument between three of the weirdest people you can possibly imagine.

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hello wouldst thou consider swearing loyalty to me?

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I recall

every discord server has the guy experiencing problems you didn’t even know were possible

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Funny how both classical painting and opera singing have a concept of chiaroscuro. The human mind longs for contrast

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We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn't an algorithm here you just make bad choices.

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Guide to Early Modern English in Elden Ring

Okay Elden Ring community. I've seen too many examples of writing your Elden Ring bosses with improper use of their funny language.

So.

Here's my quick and easy guide to Early Modern English:

Pronouns:

Thou = subject

Thee = direct object

Thy = next word starts with a consonant

Thine = next word starts with a vowel

(same rules as my and mine)

Ex:

"Thy breakfast is prepared for thee."

"Thou hast forgotten thine omelette."

If we're talking about formality here, the pronoun "you" was also used back in the 14th century as a more polite or respectful way to address someone. E.g. a subject may address their monarch with "you."

Separately, "you" is the plural version of "thou."

Conjugation:

Thou = -st

Ex:

"Thou hast (Thou'st) eaten thy vegetables?"

"Dost thou require mine assistance?"

"Thou seemest to be lost."

"Thou shouldst remember well my name."

Exceptions:

"Thou art (Thou'rt) well versed in sorcery."

"Thou wert ere acquainted?"

"Thou shalt stay here."

He/she/they = -eth

Ex:

"He sleepeth soundly."

"Doth she remember me?"

"They runneth away from the village."

Exceptions:

"He shall not fight."

"She is quite skilled."

"They will expect thy presence."

As always with English, there's a million irregular verbs. If you're unsure about the right conjugation, a quick Google search might be best.

Other noteworthy words:

'Tis = It is

'Twas = It was

Prithee = Please

Ere = before

My thanks = Thank you

Also, don't stress if you mess up, since English is a joke language and there's an exception for any rule if you feel like breaking it.

For example, Ranni's lines use the arguably incorrect pronoun "thy" when the next word begins with a vowel.

This first one also uses the modern conjugation "has" with the third person noun "that," which is usually conjugated "hath."

"Well? Has that roused thy interest?"

"Well? Hath that roused thine interest?"

"Enough of thy unbearable breath."

"Enough of thine unbearable breath."

Though if we go there, we can also cite Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 with the same:

"But thy eternal summer shall not fade."

"But thine eternal summer shall not fade."

To be dissapointingly honest, I don't have a good explanation for that.

Even so, I hope this can clear some stuff up for those of you who don't already know how to write archaic English. I'm nowhere near an expert on this, so definitely correct me if I'm speaking lies! Otherwise, stay cool and enjoy your new and improved fun English words.

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inspired by a friend misspeaking

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i love the 😌 and 😔 emojis so much because they convey such specific emotions, but also those emotions are absolutely not "relieved" and "pensive"