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Once upon a time in the ROK

A trail of thoughts...2010

Trip to Europe

The feelings I have been feeling on and off for the last month or so.

The sense of being not totally myself

Something of me is missing here

World cup game

One night stands

My love life and my sex life

Inability to commit

The fact that I have never had a normal dating relationship

What defines a normal relationship?

My plans from here on out

Do I have a new lease on life?  What do I need to happen to bring about this change of view?

To tutor or not to tutor?

My ever changing opinion of the Korean male and the types of relationships you can have as a foreigner with them.

To err is human, to fuck up is to be real.

Books I’m reading

Things I want to do

Bucket list

Books I need read

That African poet I need to look up

That female empowerment vid Magda put up

WTF have I been doing with my life and what can I do to limit the wtfs in my life?

Facebook and me.

Boy friends and boyfriends.

Flickr account

Quest for new music

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(LYFTED) Thoughts Series | Shower Thoughts

All my life I have allowed myself to be ruled by others. Mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually.

It is why the fearless spirit of love and connection, that at times barely flickers, is merely a glimmer of what it once was.

I should clarify that this is not my daily existence. I have had moments of victory. Of pulling myself up by the "bootstraps of my vagina." I have lead and helped others in these precious moments.

But that is when I attract the filth and grime and vacuum that wants to suck up my air. Snuff me out. Harness me. Lovers. Friends. Family.

Never all. But there have been. For the ones I choose, I sure do pick them.

They tore away at me. Used me. Made me feel inadequate or stupid until I finally believed it.

I am a work in progress. I am attempting to reclaim the lost parts of me. The undiscovered parts of me.

This is a reclamation of self/identity, existence and movement through art, healing, creation/creativity and action.

07.12.2020

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(Lyfted) Thoughts Series: Sex Drive isn’t male vs female

My partner who I haven’t seen in over a week and half came over. He lost it during foreplay in the shower. All he could do was apologize. This isn’t the first time I have encountered these situations. A young me use to think it was my fault - what did I do to lose the mood? Am I not attractive enough? Not sexy enough? Truth be told, those thoughts do pop up when it happens. 

But now I am at a place where I understand - I have a high sex drive. I am not abnormal for it. My partners, male or female - may not match that. There is nothing wrong with me. I can take a deep breath, place my frustrations of ‘not getting nookie tonight’ honestly and let them know “it we’ll be okay.” That I don’t judge them or shame them because of it. 

...And then go rub one out after they fall asleep or go back home.

“...And men aren’t the only ones who are disconnected from the complex system underlying their desire. Many women, even those with raging libidos, don’t often look beyond the superficial aspects of their desire. When Glickman works with a couple struggling to manage mismatched libidos, he presents them with a straightforward—yet surprisingly illuminating—question: “What is it that you’re trying to get out of sex?”

We spend so much time thinking of sex as an inherently desirable experience—something where more is self-evidently better—that few of us truly think about what, exactly, we’re getting out of it. Pleasure and orgasmic release is an essential part of the experience, to be sure, but it’s also readily available through masturbation. For many of us, the pursuit of sex is about something deeper: a desire to feel close to a partner, a validation of our desirability, a distraction from stress.”

Read the full article here.

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this was at a Protest! i’m so fucking angry and disappointed. not surprised, just exhausted.

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Here to support. But this brings up a lot of thoughts about friends, where I lived for 5yra and that experience, and growing up as a black girl fascinated by all things related to Asian culture,but teased and excluded because I wasn't.

#mixedemotions

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Omw to a brunch with people too white and too young to know, like, and talk about all the thoughts and feelings about this video. Dru Hill. Music and style choices for this period.

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Dear ...

It's difficult to unlearn the "how to be okay with being alone".

It's hard to unlearn how to be alone.

It difficult to forget how to survive alone.

12.25.2019. ACR

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I vacillate between neutral good - lawful neutral - true neutral- lawful evil.

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For what it’s worth... it’s never too late... to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start over again.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Are you past your sulk point?

I have been in my feelings for far to long. Not the good ones either. The ones that stem from fear and self-doubt.

Enough salt has been spilt. I am out here to live my best life. Taking recommendations and advice because the biggest thing I learned was I can no longer do it on my own.

📸 8.11.2017

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(Lyfted) Thoughts Series : Twat Twits from the past

Trains of thought I forgot to follow. But looking to pick back up...

March 2017 Talk about the last 5 or so min of ep 1 of Weedequette. The parents talking with their 17 yr old about weed...the look in the girl's eye as the stoned ass mom is talking. I believe in weed use. But I wonder if some of these parents didn't just want to get high anyways and this gave them the excuse

April 13 2017: When side boo (my music player) starts a new song...

Is it Toes by The Animals or Can't Tell Me Nothing by Kanye West??

Wouldn't matter because it was that type of mood. You would have vibed either way

4.23.2017 : I need to start talking out loud again. I am missing great convos with myself and such clarity on how these decisions and thoughts represent me. Whenever I have trouble explaining myself...talking out loud helped.

If you are ever high with me and I get quiet. Ask me what I am thinking. And make sure we are recording.

4.24.2017 "Chicago got me on my knees"

Chicago lit up in neon and in a phallic shape. 3 versions of "me" on my knees being fucked (over) by Chicago.

Orally. Anally. Vaginally.

Inspired by the Lyrics...LA got me on my knees

2.8.2019

Occam's razor (also Ockham's razor or Ocham's razor (Latin: novacula Occami); further known as the law of parsimony (Latin: lex parsimoniae) is the problem-solving principle that essentially states that simpler solutions are more likely to be correct than complex ones. When presented with competing hypotheses to solve a problem, one should select the solution with the fewest assumptions.

2.8.2019

Nyx is the Greek goddess (or personification) of the night. A shadowy figure, Nyx stood at or near the beginning of creation and mothered other personifieddeities such as Hypnos (Sleep) and Thanatos(Death), with Erebus (Darkness). 

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(LYFTED) Thoughts Series : Twat Twits

Things I think that were suppose to be put out into the universe several minutes ago...

Just like my state of mind, I could feel my dress getting higher and higher. 5.5.2019

12.17.2018: Does anyone else get caught up in the details of a sexual fantasy and end up on some random tangent, forgetting that you were in fact, in the middle of a sexual fantasy? Smh.

9.25.2018: checklist for sqaud reunions- vomiting unicorn fake tattoos ✔️ fake mustaches ✅

4.10.2018: All these life changing inventions and we still havent seen self cleaning glasses? #makesyouthink

8.30.2018 When even you realize that it is time for a damn full body tune up. #hobbitfeet #deepstretchdiscoveries

[chefneverserious]

T-Pain - "It's My Dog Birthday" (Official Music Video)

No Joke. 

Me an my next dog - apartment searching.

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Full disclosure

Sting was one of my first crushes. And who doesn’t enjoy Shaggy.Monday vibes <3

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(Lyfted) Thoughts Series. Xes

I am currently on this path to truly naming/defining what gives me pleasure sexually.

Recently as a base to work off of-I'm a Kinkster. I will get into what subgroups of that I relate too another time.

This is a fantasy. One of the scenarios I imagine when I masturbate.

As someone who enjoys giving, I also enjoy receiving oral. So here is my fantasy :

One person, could be any part of the gender/non-gendered spectrum, performing cunilingus on me. While at the same time, another individual playing with my nipples.

The nip player can also do this next step, or if I am feeling frisky, there usually a 3rd. In most scenarios I imagine male due to the fact that this individual will be penetrating me. (side note... For ease, I am on all fours at this point)

Why I say I prefer a male for this role, instead of a person with a strap on is the ball to face slapping factor. And having it done to another man, who is eroused further by this turns me on.

I tried it with a woman in this role, but if that is the case, I would be the woman with the strap on in that versión. So that is a different story.

All this to say.🤔Goals this year.

[chefneverserious]

How many symptoms should you exhibit before you are a Basic Bitch?

🤘🏾Wears yoga pants/leggings (cause them pants were $3 Boo-affordable af)

🤘🏾Forever 21 got me looking rich

🤘🏾Toms on my feet (though not in a min)

🤘🏾No clean underwear= wearing them bikini bottoms. Or fuck it, commando in a dress.

🤘🏾I like to mix my shit up (yesterday at work I had a bacon, ham, and spinach sandwich or a blueberry bagel. One side Provolone cheese. The other, Pepper Jack 😋😋)

🤘🏾Scarves

🤘🏾Boxed Wine

🤘🏾Brunch

🤘🏾Duck face

🤘🏾"Granny" aka "the baggy ones you keep around for flows and whatevs" panties

🤘🏾Horoscopes and cheap alcohol

🤘🏾Karaoke... But fuck that Taylor Swift shit.

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Reflective Leo