chengchenenencheng-blog

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I fell in love with him. But I don't just stay with him by default as if there's no one else available to me. I stay with him because I choose to, every day that I wake up, every day that we fight or lie to each other or disappoint each other. I choose him over and over again, and he chooses me.

Tris Prior. Allegiant, Veronica Roth

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2017 did a really great job on making me forget all the emotional turmoil I've had last year. This year has been so great, it kicked 2016 right in the nuts. This year taught me how to be positive. It taught me that happiness is a choice. And you have to choose it everyday, even if things aren't going your way. This year taught me to be strong in so many ways. It taught me that I can do anything, absolutely anything, if I just put my mind into it. Above all, this year has taught me to have faith. Have faith that everything will work out. In it's right time. Have faith that God is doing wonders for my life. I have learned to let His will, and not mine, will be done. So, Thank youuuu 2017! For all the wonderful lessons that I will surely bring next year. Thank you! ❤ And thank you guyssss. 2017 wouldn't be so awesome without you in it. I love you all, you already know that. 😘 Happy New Year!!! 🎉🎉🎉

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Living with the person you love is not what everyone thinks it is. It's not waking up early every morning to make breakfast and eat together. Its not cuddling in bed together until both of you peacefully fall asleep. It's not a clean home and a homemade meal every day.

It's someone who lets you steal all the covers on a cold night. It's slammed doors, a few harsh words, fights and the silent treatment. It is, despite all of those things, the one thing you look forward to every day.

It's coming home to the same person everyday that you know loves and cares about you. It's laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid. It's about eating leftovers or ordering take-out because you both don't feel like cooking, had a crazy day.

It's when you have an emotional breakdown and your love holds you and tells you everything is going to be okay, and you believe them. It's when "Netflix and chill" literally means you watch Netflix and hang out.

It's about still loving someone even though they make you absolutely insane at times. Living with the person you love and silly fights about absolutely nothing, but is also having a love that people spend their whole life looking for.

It's not perfect and it's hard, but it's amazing and comforting and the best thing you'll ever experience.

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Channeling my inner Kim Bok Joo self this holiday season. 😂😂😂 Happy Holidays everyone!! 🎉🥂🥂🎊

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Yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not.

Lily Aldrin

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There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream. Keep walking. 🖤 #DayThirtyFive (at Uptown Bonifacio)

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Your biggest challenge isn't someone else; it's the ache in your lungs, the burning in your legs, & the voice inside you that yells, "Can't!" But you don't listen, you push harder. You hear the voice whisper "Can." and you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are. 💪 #DayThirtyTwo (at UP Academic Oval)

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Since it's the 28th day of this fitness journey, I think it's time for some before and after pic. Hahaha! So medyo nabawasan lang yung tyan ko, tho malaki pa din 😧😂 Humaba din tingnan yung hita ko ng very light dahil sa super slight na pagnipis nila. 😂 At lumuwag yung damit ko bandang balikat. Ramdam na ramdam ko din yung pagliit ng boobs ko. Yey! 😂😂😂 I'm still on my weight loss plateau. After losing 8kg, I'm stuck at 72kg and still in obese category with regards to my BMI. But I'm getting there. Slowly, yes. But getting there. 😄💪 #DayTwentyEight #FourthWeek

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This is my jaaaam. Whenever I feel low and stressed out. Whenever I'm tired at working out. Whenever I feel like giving up on everything. "I've still got a lot of fight left in me." 💪 Kaya ko to. Problema lang yan, si Cheng ako. 😂 I'm a true blooded warrior. Always has and always will be. *Repeating this in my head until maabsorb niya*

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HAHAHAHAHAHA! 45 minutes dancing. 10 minutes jump rope. Bicep curls 20 reps 3 sets. Triceps extension 20 reps 3 sets. Russian twist 15 reps 3 sets. Crunches 25 reps 4 sets. Reverse crunches 15 reps 4 sets. 1 minute planking. Walang squats. Sakit pa ng hita ko kakasquat kagabi hahaha! Ayoko naaaaaa gutom na kooooooo 😂😂 Goodmorning Saturday!!! 🖤💪 #DayTwentytwo

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And it's my 21st day babyyyy! 🎉 21 days of eating healthy foods. 21 days of no rice. 21 days of very low to no sodium and sugar diet. 21 days of getting up in the morning feeling sore all over because of working out. And you know what? I'm loving this habit! It makes me really feel good about myself. It makes me feel lighter, stronger and happier. 🤗 At the beginning, I just want to lose weight because of my medical but now I just really want to be fit and healthy. I badly want to bring back that 55kilo-Cheng bago ko siya kinain. Hahahaha! At dahil kaya ko naman pala, kakayanin ko na to hanggang sa dulo. Ravaaaaan! 💪 #DayTwentyone #Roadto55kg

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Quarter life crisis daw.

Lately, I’ve been in a phase wherein I questioned everything that is happening in my life.

Am I doing what I’m supposed to be doing? Am I in the right place? What have I achieved so far in working my ass off for 6 fucking years? Is my boyfriend now really the one for me? What would it feels like to be single again? Am I still lovable? If I flirt with someone else right now will they still flirt back? If I sit in a corner of a bar alone will someone still offer me a drink like before? What the hell am I thinking anyway?

I don’t have a freaking clue on what I am feeling right now.

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She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.

J.D. Salinger (via lovelustquotes)

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She’s the exclamation mark in the happiest sentence that I could ever possibly write. ❤

Michael Faudet

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Cold.

I’m not sure what I’m feeling exactly. But I’m kinda guilty on how I’ve been treating him recently. Di ko na daw siya nilalambing, unlike before. I thought so too. Di na ko masyado clingy. Di ko na siya masyado naaasikaso. And sometimes I do not miss him when we’re not together. Right now, I do not even feel the need of hugging him when he's just inches away from me. Also, I am not in the mood to have sex like always (while I'm so into that before). What the fuck is wrong with me? Jinoke niya ko, di ko na daw siya mahal. Mahal ko pa naman siya. Mahal na mahal. But I can’t pin point what is happening. Am I just tired? Am I just bored or something? Quarter life crisis perhaps? Or am I just slowly fading away?

Haay 😥

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Something always keeps me back to you.. It never takes too long.

Dramaaa hahaha ! Truth is, I just bought a phone that makes tumblring easier so tadaaa! I'm back. Again. Yay! 😂

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A letter for my ex-best friend.

A week ago, I am so mad at you, the title of this letter would’ve been, ‘A letter for you, bitch.’

I still can’t understand why you did that to me. I mean, I loved you. I was there whenever you needed a friend. When you had your heartbreak when you were 16, I was there hugging you so tight somehow hoping that would ease your pain. I was there every day with you when you were pregnant with your daughter, asking you beforehand what do you want me to bring. Do you want something to eat, are you craving for something, you just tell me and I’ll bring it to you. I was there at the hospital, a day after you gave birth. And I’ve been with my god daughter’s side since then. Every milestone, every birthday, every graduation. I was there. I was there when you needed something, even cash -- for tuition, for your daughter’s needs, whatever you need. I was there when your husband left you. I was there for you every time you were having problem with your mom. I was there for you, comforting you, encouraging you, when you got pregnant again.  I was there for you when you need a shopping companion. I was there when you need a stress reliever, helper, shock absorber. I was there for you every fucking time.

And you know what hurts, you were there too. For me. You were there, hugging me when I had my heart broken too many times with the same guy. You were there when I’m so lost I can’t even find myself. You were there when I’m so down with what happened with my family. And I’m so thankful because I had you with all of the problems and troubles I had in  my life. I am so thankful, you were there. You were always there too, that’s why I know what we had is a true friendship nothing can break.

When your brother and I became an item I was more than happy not just because of him, but also the fact that we are actually gonna be sisters. Your daughter and son will gonna be my niece and nephew too. We are going to be family.

But no, you did not want that. You do not want me in your family. Because if you do, you won’t do that. 

I was very true to you. I love you like my own sister but you are a back-stabbing hypocrite bitch.

I was sad when I remember all the memories we had together that’s why I started this letter in the first place. And then I got mad again when I’m in the middle of writing. BECAUSE YOU DON’T BETRAY A FRIEND!!! 

But now that I have written it all down, I realized you were not really my friend. And you are not part of my life anymore. And not a single fuck will be given from now on.