chimericalanguish

[chimericalanguish]

stop

suffer silently

stop

eating quietly

not

dreaming painfully

awake

stop

breathing

drop

[chimericalanguish]

Die for it

"I could die for your pussy, it feels soo good" He said, I never answered as he fucked me but my answer echoed through my head as we where one and long after we stopped, long after he left. As we had taken a pause from fighting and it was so good. Sensual. His body against mine, the sounds of his heart, my heart... The pain from the earlier fight. The love, anger, sadness, the ecstacy of it all. Of him.

In the echo of our bodies merging into one of the final sensual experiences we would have together. One final real and pure act of love.

It echoed through and through and long after.

My answer as he fucked me sensually and fucked me good;

"You already did, countless times"

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Stay clear of him or I will cut him up and take you on the puddle of his blood - Madness

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The difference between you and I

I Love you even when you hate me

My love is true even when angry at you

I adore you even when I dont agree with you

I will listen even as I don't understand

I will try even when you won't

I remember the moments even as you forget

I will always forget the harsh words even as you remember my mistakes

I will always forgive you even when you preach pure hate.

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I have seen your eyes go gray my beautiful babe

And I am not saying stay the same but the blue suits you all the way so please

Stay

Happy.

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Om mani padme hum; the White Stone or White Lotus

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it.” - Revelation 2:17

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"I told you to back off," He said. "You should have listened."

"You killed me."

"You thought I was screwing around just because I asked nicely?"

I looked up at him; a fragile thing on my knees, a shattered dream. Because, well, yes. Or, at least, I'd thought myself an exception. Something that mattered. I looked back down at the blood staining sticky and wet on my hands. The smoke of the fight, everything ablaze, tears stinging my eyes.

"You stayed with me," I said. Even to my own ears, my voice was small. Pathetic. No grand and unbreaking shield.

"And you made assumptions, Darling."

I had, it was true, but...I swallowed hard. I'd assumed that he actually loved me, cared for me, that I was his, that I had misunderstood, that he would be loving if I tried. Of course, I knew, the tales that labelled our story as nothing more than misery filled, but I had thought them just that, something We could overcome. Tales for something to learn from. Myths of our past because we would know better. Understand better.

I was wrong.

God, how I had been so wrong.

He shoved his hands in his pockets, turning away, eyes focused on his personal carnage, desires. "You made assumptions," He said again, softer. "Tell me you won't make those again."

"You really are blind." My assumptions being made from earlier continuous experiences.

"Is the serpent a monster for its venom, when it gives you all the warnings before it strikes?"

"Historically," I snapped, "yes."

"Then what are you, for poking the serpent with a stick?"

"I had to!"

"And you thought I'd let you? You thought I was - what - showing you a better way?"

I didn't know anymore. I had known this once, and then it had felt more like a game. The thrill of dancing close to the flames, never being burned.

The smoke around them felt choking, or maybe that was the grief.

"You're a monster," I said again. "I love you." The love, true. unconditionall

"No," He said. "You loved the thought of a wild thing tamed." He summoned up his magic again, shimmering dark and tainted gorgeous against the night sky. "Now watch me bite."

[chimericalanguish]

“don’t lie, don’t cheat, and don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

— Unknown

[chimericalanguish]

Your Words

You wouldn't understand how it feels to see someone you care about hurt.

You wouldn't

I would

I wouldn't be unfaithful

A liar

You would

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Four years.

Four years and this is how you leave. Saying it is my own fault, not owning up to yours.

Four years and you decide to act out violently after months of breaking me apart.

Four years and you literally bash my body in.

Four years of my best years.

I dont know what to say.

How to act.

How to stand after this.

Four years and i am left with half my face green and blue.

Four years and that is the symbol you left me with.

A mark to mark our end.

Four years.

You fucked me sensually and you fucked me good.

I swear to you I have no more to swear.

Cause i can't swear this is my end.

And I can't swear I will rise again.

I can't swear on anything as there is no more promises left in me to break.

They where all broken and there is nothing. No more anything.

I am left with half my face blue, green, and purple.

And I am left in Blue.

Trying to feel the green.

And hoping to find my purple.

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https://www.instagram.com/p/ByxxhnOh6BG/

[chimericalanguish]

Still so afraid of the dark i close my eyes when i cant see. My darkness is more comforting than the darkness of the world. I know there hides something there and I don't want to see it and the deeper I go into myself the more comfort I found in my own dark mind.

I know my darkness is not because of absence of light. My darkness is because of the light I radiate.

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From where I stand, if you love me, You love a piece of me that I hate because I hate every part of me. Therefore it is only pity, you have confused love with pity. Now let me die.

I'm not gonna move from my bed for a few days.