lyinginmeadow

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 10

a/n: Can y'all believe we're on chapter 10 already? Thought my babies deserved a little bit of happiness <- Chapter 10 - All that you rely on ->

Just four days later, Paul was in perfect health, like nothing ever happened. The wolf gene repaired all the physical damage. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to leave his side, even when I wanted to; it was like an instinct taking over. More accurately, a fear. I was scared to go to sleep because I wasn't handling the fact that my nightmares came out accurately.

I went to the elders for a piece of advice, which resulted in more questions than answers. They suggested that maybe it was part of being an imprint, but that didn't make sense, since Emily didn't dream of the future that came in puzzles rather than a complete image. They offered to look into more legends to try and find out, but so far, nothing has come out of their research.

The only silver lining was that the Clearwater had finally returned from their travels. Sue cleared Paul, which relieved my conscience. I spent the whole day with Leah, but it didn't feel the same. I hated obscuring the whole truth from her, but Sam prepared me that it needed to be done.

Paul took me to one of the meetings, since I was officially a part of the pack. We were careful around each other, walking on eggshells. I wasn't ready to forgive him, but I couldn't leave his side in fear of what might happen. And he was just as unbearable. Anytime we were out and someone just looked at me funny, he snapped. Which resulted in us working on his temper in the spare moments. He wasn't allowed to go on patrols, so he was becoming extra anxious.

We sat quietly around the fire, listening to the legends told by Harry and Billy. I couldn't help but be enchanted by their rich history. I was used to the bonfires and legends, and heard them times and times over; only now, those legends hold a different meaning, because they were a tangible part of who the pack was.

Paul went to get us some food, while I stayed near the fire, trying not to freeze. Harry took the opportunity to occupy the vacant seat next to me on the log, offering a smile. "I always thought you two had a special connection."

"Yeah, I just didn't think it would be this complicated." My smile was somewhat sad as I let my head rest on his shoulder.

He chuckled, his arm snaking around my shoulders, "Sweet girl, it always is."

"I'm sorry for what happened with Leah. I don't know how to help her through it without giving out the secret," I said quietly.

He gave my shoulder a tight squeeze before speaking out, "It's not your fault. It wasn't meant to be, she'll understand one day after she stops hurting."

"I hope you're right," I whispered, letting my eyes watch the flames dancing in the wind. "Harry?" I said a moment later, voice barely above a whisper.

"Hm?" He answered with a hum, his head turning to face me. I paused, my gaze not faltering from the flames. I watched as they swayed, changing colors from yellow to deep orange. As my eyebrows knitted together, I opened my mouth to speak up, "I've been having dreams. Unsettling ones. They are keeping me awake at night, and I-II- I think that they are trying to warn me." I gnawed on my lip, waiting for a response.

"I take it they are not warning you off for your safety."

I shook my head, eyes leaving the flames to look up at him, "I've seen him dead, Harry."

His sharp inhale broke the silence between us that stretched, accompanied by the sizzling of the fire, as a pity flashed in his gaze. “Lizzie…”

“It almost happened. And I couldn’t stop it.” Tears coated my throat, making it hard to get out words. His hand squeezed my shoulder, bringing me into a tight embrace.

We sat there for the light from the fire illuminating our forms, as tears fell down my cheeks, the sobs too quiet for human ears to pick up.

He broke the embrace, his hands sitting on my shoulders, a comforting weight. He offered a small smile as his fingers brushed away the stray tears. I found myself returning the smile as we turned to face the fire again.

After a beat of silence, his voice boomed to life again. “You remind me of your grandmother.”

I responded with a hum, eyebrows knitting together. I remembered bits and pieces of my grandparents, the memories painfully locked away, only the happy ones remaining. Christmas’ full of laughter and presents, showing them the new shiny toy. They both died when we were little, following each other within a month or so, as if their souls couldn’t bear to be apart.

He continued, eyes roaming my face as if to find physical similarities. “Helen was…Charlie didn’t like to talk about it, but she was different. The talk of the town, really. Whenever Billy and I visited, she was nothing but kind. She and her friends were special, and that’s why people in Forks judged her. It was fear of the unknown.”

“So you’re saying I’m weird just like my grandma? What a relief, it’s a family trait.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “That’s not what I’m saying, and you know it. She also had visions; she saw you and Bella coming before anyone else did. It freaked Renée out.”

I snorted, vividly imagining my mother’s face when she learned she not only had to put up with one child, but two at the same time. “That I believe.”

“My uncle was quite smitten with your grandmother; she had these eyes that could capture you, and if it were up to her, never let you go. She never had to worry that Charlie wouldn’t listen to her, let me tell you that.” He chuckled, remembering the good old days.

A sad smile crossed his features. “She was always welcomed in La Push. Came here often to visit my mother and her sister-in-law, Molly. Her coven, they said. They were inseparable, always cooking up something. A mischievous bunch. When Molly died, they lost their spark, and it wasn’t long after when they followed.”

The fire swayed in the wind, hues of orange and yellow dancing and changing. Laughter reached us as the guys returned from the kitchen, hands full with trails of food. “The tribe might not have all the answers to your questions, but maybe your house will.” He smiled down at me before standing up, leaving the spot vacant for Paul.

“Thank you, Harry.”

“Always here to help. Remember that.”

I must have dozed off, because I could feel someone moving me, whispering something, shushing other voices surrounding us. Heat was radiating from his body, his distinct scent giving him up. "Put me down, you're hurt."

His chest vibrated with laughter, "'m not. Go back to sleep, yea?" I frowned, but kept my eyes closed, snuggling into his chest, chasing the warmth he offered. Only it was torn away moments after, when he put me into his truck, making the frown deeper. The door opened on the other side, and he sat behind the wheel. "Come on, it's not that cold." He laughed when I put my arms around my torso, trying to warm myself up.

"Says someone who can't get cold," I muttered, irritated.

He laughed again, putting his hand on my thigh, the intimacy of the gesture making me stop for a second. "Sorry," He swiftly removed it, starting the truck in an awkward silence. I propped myself up, scooting on the seat to sit closer to him, setting my head on his shoulder. "You're making it hard to stay mad at you."

"It's my only flaw." He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, grumbling, "One of many." He snorted, shaking his head, but continued driving in silence.

When he stopped the truck in the driveway, I didn't move an inch. "We should get you home. Sleep's important."

I stayed quiet for a while, fixing my gaze ahead. My face crumbled at the word sleep that kept replaying like an echo in my mind.

"But I'm scared to go to sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I'm terrified of what I might see next. And even when I tell someone, it still happens. I can't stop it from happening." I whispered, looking ahead.

"That doesn't mean we can't be more prepared when it does. It might not seem helpful, but it is. Promise." He snaked his arm around my shoulders to pull me into a tighter side hug. I nodded, staying silent. He was right, of course, he was. But I didn't tell him the whole truth. I might be able to see certain events before they had the chance to happen, but I was still a human. And my dreams were haunted by the vision of him, lying on the table, covered in blood.

He was a calming presence, his warmth lulling me to sleep when I wanted to defy it with all my might. When he noticed the battle I was slowly losing, he whispered into my hair, his voice gentle, "Wanna know what I see when I fall asleep?"

I hummed, prompting him to continue, "You, happy and safe."

Sunbeams were dancing across the leaves, creating different shades of green that illuminated our cheeks. The wind picked up, rustling the branches and carrying the scent of pine.

Moss covered most of the path, only letting a few roots peek through. The sound of chirping echoed around our moving forms, deepening the serenity that the forest brought.

Paul’s chuckle brought me back to reality, the spark in his eyes radiating as he spared me a look. His warm fingers were locked with mine, guiding me through the thick flora, making sure I didn't lose my footing. A little line appeared between my brows. “What?”

He grinned, shaking his head as he continued walking, looking ahead. “Nothin’.”

“No, no. Say it. No more secrets, remember?” I squeezed his hand, tugging him toward me. He didn’t stumble, but stopped in his tracks.

He turned, not letting go. “I’m pretty sure this doesn’t count into that. But to feed your curiosity, I find it adorable how easily you get lost in your little world.”

“It’s not little. And it’s not my fault the forest is this mesmerizing. I needed time away from the chaos.” I narrowed my eyes at him before continuing walking, tugging him with me.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes, but followed like a little harmless puppy. His demeanor had been relaxed for the whole hike, a rare sight these days, but his gaze swept the shadows every now and then, checking for signs of danger.

The branches gave way, letting the sun in as we finally arrived at the clearing. A beautiful meadow stretched around us, the colors of various wild flowers fluttering in the breeze as if in a choreographed dance.

The sound of running water, chirping birds, and the buzz of bees carried through the wind as we put down the picnic blanket. The scenery caused a smile to spread across my face, eyes closing for a moment to take it in.

Paul didn’t let it stop him, already reaching into the backpack for the food. “I made chicken sandwiches, grilled cheese ones, and for dessert, there's banana bread with chocolate chips. I also cut some veggies to stay at least a little bit healthy.” I stretched before sitting down as he rummaged through the boxes, laying them on the blanket.

His eyes grew larger, devotion shining in them. “I don’t tell you enough, but you’re an angel, beautiful.”

I chuckled, shrugging, “Can’t have my man starve now, can I?”

“Your man, huh?” A smirk spread across his features.

“Only if you’re a good boy.”

He groaned, “Enough with the dog jokes.”

I laughed, lying down, eyes closing as I made myself comfortable, leaving the shoes to the side. The hike was my idea. It was a chance to get away from the prying ears and eyes at the pack house. Jared couldn��t stop with his teasing, and Paul’s temper wasn’t handling his jokes well. At all.

I insisted we needed to spend time together, to learn to trust one another and repair the damage the situation caused to the bond and our relationship. Even if it meant we needed to take small steps in order to do so.

Both of us enjoyed hiking, even if it now posed danger, I fully trusted Paul to protect us, but I could feel it in my bones, there wouldn’t be a reason for it. Not today.

The sun disappeared under a grey cloud, spreading shade across the meadow. Opening my eyes, I turned to face the one person who occupied my every thought.

His mouth was already stuffed with a sandwich, half of it gone. I laughed, leaning to capture a handful of cut red peppers. “Like it?”

He hummed, nodding while biting off another chunk. “I was talking with Emily the other day after the bonfire, and she shared the muffin recipe you guys like so much. We actually thought of it baking together for the next bonfire.” I chimed in, watching his eyes grow larger.

He swallowed, the sandwich gone completely within seconds, asking, “The blueberry ones?”

I nodded, smiling. “The one and only.”

“Did I ever mention how much I love you?”

“Once or twice. Not nearly enough,” I grinned, stuffing my mouth with a piece of banana bread.

“Oh really?”

I nodded, humming, popping in another bite. “You really need to step up your game, if you’re to leave the friend zone, as Jared loves to point out.”

He tackled me just as I swallowed, his body leaning over mine, heat radiating from him. The closeness of him offering a sense of comfort and safety. He held himself up with one hand, the other traveling over my stomach, tickling it.

Laughter erupted from me, echoing in the empty meadow. I struggled under him, throwing my hands up to fight the losing battle. I reached a sensitive spot under his arm, evening the ground. As he lost his balance, I shuffled myself out of his reach, standing up.

With heavy breath, I made a couple of steps back before his gaze snapped to mine, a feral grin spreading across his features. “You better run.”

He didn’t need to tell me twice as I laughed, already turning to retreat as quickly as my legs allowed me to. I could hear him behind me, heavy footsteps nearing in a record time.

Arms enveloped around my waist, caging me in and stopping me in my tracks. His hot breath tickled as his lips leaned toward the back of my ear, gently kissing the sensitive skin surrounding it. “I love you.” He whispered.

“I know,” I said, a sound barely audible. He turned me, not letting go, if anything, his hold tightened yet still gentle as if I were to break. His eyes searched mine for a second. “I love you.”

I smiled before my gaze dropped down to the ground. I loved him, I was never sure of anything in my life as much as I was of this. The feeling never disappeared, even if it wavered. And as much as I wished to shout it until my throat burned, I could bring myself to do so, the events of the last two months blocking it.

His hold eased up, the hammering of his heart audible even to a human ear. I bit down on my lip till it hurt, nearly drawing blood. He let go, giving me a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Turning, he retreated to the blanket.

Quickening my step, I caught up to him, my hand reaching out to his, fingers locking together. He glanced down at the entwined fingers, the symbolism of it not lost on him as a bigger smile spread on his face.

“We’ll get there,” I said, prompting him to look up to catch the dimples decorating my cheeks. He brought our locked hands to his mouth, leaving a kiss on the back of mine. “Promise.” He rasped, his breath tickling my skin.

“I promise.”

Breeze tickled my cheek, playing with the strands of my hair as I layed on the picnic blanket, humming a soft melody. A lullaby long forgotten resurfaced as the images flew behind my closed eyes.

Grandma Helen’s kind eyes, her presence always calming, her voice never wavering until her dying breath. The lullaby she sang, even when dementia took over her mind forever, edged into my memories.

The stories she used to share, mere fairy tales mixed with the adventures her friends used to have before they grew apart. The book that seemed to come alive whenever she opened it to refresh her memory on what to tell her grandchildren next.

“I know that song.”

I stopped, eyes flying open, “It’s what my grandma used to sing to get me to sleep.”

“Hm, interesting.”

Frowning, a question left my lips, “Why?”

“I swear I heard it somewhere before.” He shrugged.

“Well, it’s a really old song, probably nothing original. But she insisted it’s a protection against all evil and whatnot.” I laughed, turning to face him, focusing on the sketch book in his hands.

A smile spread across my face. “You’re drawing again?”

He didn’t share this with anyone, assuming people would tease him for it. He was supposed to be all tough and unrefined, and drawing didn’t mix well with his reputation. But it was something he naturally gravitated toward, something that brought him not only peace, but also happiness.

He nodded, sparks of said emotion flashing in his eyes. “It’s been a while, might be a little rusty. It also ain’t finished yet.”

I propped myself up, grinning, “Well, I’m sure it’s good either way.”

He laughed, turning the sketch around, the uncanny likeness of the portrait causing my breath to catch. The lines were a bit messy, shining light on his personal art style. The flowers in the distance a mere afterthought as he solely focused on capturing the emotion shining in my eyes whenever I opened them to spare him a look while my mind wandered.

The bed of my thumb gently moved across the smile he immortalized on paper. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yea, I had a good model.” His face converted into a characteristic smirk. I rolled my eyes, setting the notebook down as I sat up.

“I heard you’ve been dancing again.”

I nodded, “I’ve been cleared to do so, I’ve been taking full advantage of that. You have no idea how much I missed it. It’s like a part of me was ripped away after the accident.”

His gaze darkened as he muttered the next words. “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, pointing my index finger in his direction. “Don’t give me that look, it’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it? I feel like if I hadn’t left you, you wouldn’t have gone into the woods. Not alone.” He scoffed, a sound void of all emotions.

The air around us tensed as the world seemed to slow down in comparison to my hammering heart. “Maybe, but I can always trip somewhere else. Besides, we’ve been over this. I don’t hold that against you, not anymore.”

“Right, we’re currently on the whole imprint thing.”

I shook my head in disbelief. He didn’t understand it. “No, we are currently working through how you decided not to tell me, and I have to come to terms with the fact that you might not have come back if you hadn't imprinted.” I bit back.

The wound opened up again, holding me hostage as tears threatened to spill. He still didn’t understand why I made such a huge deal out of it. Why him not telling the truth hurt, and why the bond felt like it was tearing us apart, even if it was supposed to do the opposite. 

He shook violently, frustration building up as his body tensed. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, before opening them, his shoulders slumping a little, telling me of his self-control.

"I choose you. I choose us. Because you’re…you. You’re smart, funny, and you smile even when the world doesn’t deserve it. Nothing could ever change that. To be honest, I believe that in every lifetime, it's you. It's you I look for in the crowd. It's the thoughts of you that can calm me down, even when I think I'm gone. You are my choice. And the bond only solidified that choice that I would have made if I had more time to adjust."

He whispered, his eyes searching mine, "It has always been you."

My heart was beating faster than a hummingbird's wings, threatening to leap from my chest at any second. My cheeks were now hot to the touch as my lips searched for words that didn’t seem to come out.

His eyes search mine, a sense of urgency shining in them. “And I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you how much you mean to me. How much I can’t bear you leaving, because every time I have to leave you, it feels like a part of my soul goes with you. But Lizzie, it was always like that.”

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 9

TW: violence, injury, blood, angst a/n: I do love these characters, promise <- Chapter 9 - You can run, but you can't escape ->

The day dragged, rays of sunshine barely penetrating the grey clouds. My gaze kept returning to the windows, a feeling of unease hanging heavy in the air, suffocating. A frown crossed my face as I kept gnawing on my lip. 

The windows of the little flower shop situated in the heart of Forks let in light, illuminating the shelves full of plants and decorations. Various vines hung from them, twisting together, the number of flowers making the air in the room moist. The blend of all the colors seemed to make the space sing, bringing a sense of tranquility to it. 

Opening the door to let in fresh air, I knelt to the sign just outside. With a chalk in my hand, I added a few details to the flowers and changed the text so it would be ready for the next day. As I finished the last stroke, my eyebrows knitted together. 

The red petals burned brightly, overcoming other colors. I smudged the lines, fingers brushing over them in quick strokes. My vision blurred momentarily, images of moss, damp ground, and leaves flashing before my eyes, spinning, making my head hurt. The scene slowed down, revealing paws running, chasing a shadow that evaded the corners of my sight. As the teeth came closer, spanning the powerful jaws in its direction, red colored the moss, seeping into the ground beneath the paws.

The bell rang announcing the leave of the last of the customers, snapping me out of the trance. I blinked to regain composure, lifting the sign with the smudged rose petals and putting it inside. Mrs. Cheney, a sweet old lady running the shop, looked at me with a frown deepening her features, but fortunately, didn't comment on the odd behavior. 

As the shift came to an end, she closed the register as I cleaned the last corner of the main room. "Are you sure you'll manage on your own?" I said, looking right at her, so she could lipread. Her hearing aid sat around her ear, the light purple color of the processor matching her blouse.

She waved her hand, a small line appearing between her brows, "Yes, yes, now go before I'll shoo you out." 

"See you tomorrow, Mrs. Cheney!" I laughed, still not turning as I said it. As she waved her goodbyes, I exited only to be met with Embry's wide grin. 

"Finally, what took you so long?" 

I rolled my eyes, flashing the envelope in front of him, "Well, sorry, but some of us have to work to make money. You'll understand once you grow up." 

"Yeah, whatever, let's go. Jake and Quil are already at the diner." He took hold of my hand, dragging me toward my car parked in the otherwise abandoned parking lot. The engine roared to life. I looked around, hoping to see a familiar face, only to be met with empty streets. In the last couple of days, it felt as if he had disappeared. The nights fell quiet as the howling stopped. I sighed, leaving the lot. From the corner of my eye, I could see Embry's brows knitting together.

Quil was the first one to notice us, grumbling and announcing our arrival to Jake. "Finally, took you two ages." 

"Hush, I already heard enough." I put my hand up, stopping him from talking. Jake only shook his head, a smile decorating his features. I let Em take a seat and shuffled into the booth next to him. "So, what'd you two order?" I asked, eyes flying over the menu I practically knew by heart. 

"Burgers with fries." They answered in unison like brothers in a t-shirt. 

Laughing, "Okay, I'll have the same. You?" I shifted my gaze over to Embry, who was still looking over the menu, not paying attention. He hummed, barely registering the question. I sighed, nudging him, repeating it. 

He looked up this time, a small grin appearing on his face. "Who am I to break the band?" 

The waitress took our orders, smiling brightly at Jake specifically, ignoring the rest of us. When he returned it, white teeth flashing, a blush formed on her cheeks as she hurried to the kitchen. "If you're lucky, maybe she'll give you her number," I whispered, putting my hand up in an attempt to make it a secret from the rest of the occupants of the table.

"If he's lucky, he'll get more than a number." Snicker Quil, jabbing his elbow into Jake's side as my eyes rolled at the insinuation. 

"Would you two quit it?" His brows knit together, but sparkles of amusement danced in his eyes. They bickered, nudging each other.

Embry rolled his eyes, gaze locking onto me. "So what's your plan for summer?" 

"Oh, I was just thinking of leaving for a while. I was supposed to spend the whole of July in Phoenix with Bella, but that obviously didn't happen." I sucked in a breath. "But now I'm healthy, so nothing's stopping me, you know? I kind of need the fresh air." A nervous chuckle left my lips. 

The thought plagued my mind, keeping me awake late at night. Among other things. The bond tightened, before stretching as the sureness of my plans settled in. The need to leave overpowering the ties that held me to this place. 

Jake's puzzled gaze found yours. "You'll be leaving?" 

"Maybe? I mean, I hadn't fully committed." I admitted, shrugging.

"Is it because of Lahote?" Quil asked bluntly. Someone kicked him as he yelped, looking at Embry, framing him as a culprit. 

Turning my eyes to the table, finding it more interesting, I contemplated my reply. "No, I just want to see my sister. I'll be sure to send postcards. Now, what are your plans?" A tight smile formed on my lips, leaving no room for further questions. My gaze snapped to Embry first, who gave me an encouraging smile.

The conversation flowed after that as the food came, quickly disappearing. Quil stole a bunch of Jake's fries, stuffing them in his mouth before his poor friend could react. Jake retaliated in no time, punching him in the stomach, causing Quil to choke on the stolen food. 

Embry grinned, leaning toward me, whispering, "Five bucks that Jake's gonna drink Quil's soda."

Laugh bubbled from my throat as I replied, "You're so on." 

Quil and Jake continued bickering until a familiar voice called out, silencing the lively chat. "Lizzie?"

A frown appeared on my face as my head snapped in its direction, "Oh my god, Ri. Hi, what are you doing here?" I slowly scooted to Embry with a tight smile. 

"Visiting grandparents. Grandma is a terrible cook, so a diner it is." He laughed, nervously scratching the back of his neck. 

The air tensed as silence stretched. His gaze never left mine, traveling, ignoring the rest of the table. As his hand clamped around the edge of the table, he leaned forward, a lazy smile crossing his features when a shudder went down my spine.

"Yeah, I remember. Pretty sure I partially lost taste after trying her pie." I chuckled, crushing the tension as my fingers clung to the necklace hanging around my neck as a charm. 

He didn't reply, only laughing, making the atmosphere uncomfortable. I took the opportunity to introduce the rest of the table, as they narrowed their eyes on the intruder, their welcoming smile turning downward as I scooted further into the booth. "Guys, this is Ri, he was my neighbour until a year ago when his parents ditched the small town life. Ri, guys." 

After the exchange of awkward hellos, I led with another topic, curiosity getting the better of me. That and fear. "So, for how long are you staying?" 

"A week? Maybe more, we'll see." His eyes once more traveled over my form and back to my eyes in a second. Embry's arm snaked lazily around my shoulders, bringing me to him as his palms gently squeezed them. "That's great, we'll be happy to see you around." He smiled tightly, dismissing Ri. 

Getting the message, his mood changed sour. Distaste, which he couldn't bother to hide, was evident in his features. "Right, see you around, Liz. It was nice to meet you all." 

As he left, all eyes around the table turned to face me, boring into me with unsaid questions. "Nice guy, huh?" Chuckling to lighten the tense atmosphere that had befallen our booth, I bit down on my lip. 

"If by nice you mean a total ass, sure. A bit more oogling and we could play ping pong with his fallen out eyes." Jake was the first one to retort. 

I nodded with a tight smile. It was one of the reasons why I was relieved when he moved away. We used to be good friends; he understood my humor, and I loved listening to him play guitar. But ever since he refused to take no for an answer, that friendship fizzled out. "Well, it's a good thing he's no longer my neighbour."  

Quil chimed in, mouth already full of the leftover burger, "Better steal Charlie's rifle if he decides to show up at your house."

The conversation after that brightened, but I couldn't bring myself to be part of it. Laughter continued as the guys bickered. Embry's worried gaze shifted to me once in a while, but got dismissed by my smile each time. Mindlessly playing with the silver necklace, the noise of the restaurant suddenly turned into static. Ears ringing, I looked outside, hoping to find the source of the unease. 

Heartbeat picking up, my frown deepened. I could feel my hands begin to shake, the food no longer appetizing, instead churning in my stomach. I stood up abruptly, alerting the rest of the occupants of the booth. My palms started to sweat as I shuffled my way out, excusing myself, ignoring the alarmed gazes of my friends. 

As my breathing became erratic, its short intervals caused my head to spin. Shooting out the door, I took gulps of fresh air, hand grabbing the shirt clinging to my chest in futile attempts to calm the racing heart threatening to jump out. I made it to the parked car when my phone rang, its loud melody snapping me out of the daze. Picking it up without a second thought, I didn't even note who the caller was. 

The world collided and stopped once the sentence was uttered frantically on the other line.

I shouldn't have made my way to Emily's, but the image from the mirror kept flashing in front of my eyes. The petals were yet another warning I chose to ignore. I mentally beat myself for it the whole drive. Blood pumped through my veins as the ringing in my ears persisted.

What if it was more serious than Emily had let on? 

What if he didn't survive?

Tears gathered at the edges of my vision at the thought, blurring it. I had one job. It was my fault he got hurt. I knew there was a possibility of him dying out there, and I let our argument get in the middle of what's important. If I had said more, if I'd been more persistent, maybe it could have been avoided. 

"Sam called moments ago, they are transporting him here as we speak. I don't know how badly Paul's hurt,  only that a vampire surprised them."

His cries echoed through the clearing as soon as the engine stopped roaring. My heart was pounding in my chest, adrenaline kicking in. Leaving the door of my car open, I stormed into the cabin. "Paul!" I ran straight to him, kneeling down in front of him. 

The scene was so much worse than she had let me believe. He was lying on the table, his cheek leaning on the wooden surface, blood already sticking to it, making my head spin at the amount of it. His breathing was erratic, screams interrupting it.

The left side of his torso was caving in, as if someone had broken his ribs by stepping on them with immense force. His arm was twisted at an unnatural angle, blood streaming down it, dripping in a sickening pattern. A stake was sticking out of his shoulder blade, leaking more blood, staining the white chipped paint.

Jared and Sam were holding him down while Sam was simultaneously putting pressure on the wound, trying to stop the bleeding. He started struggling under their hold, his eyes frantically searching the room. "Stop him from doing that, he's pushing the stake down and probably creating splinters in the process," Emily yelled out, but her expression remained calm. She was putting on gloves in the kitchen, where the medical equipment was ready to use.

"You're not about to do an improv operation on your dinner table," I sneered, standing up. Paul whined, his uninjured hand reaching out for me. I stopped in my tracks, looking down at him with wide eyes. "We don't have a choice." Gritted out Sam, trying to pin him down. I took a deep breath, leaning to face struggling Paul, who was now bleeding profusely. With him moving, the cut kept getting deeper, his flesh healing only to be torn again.

"Paul, we need you to stop moving. Can you do that for us?" I said softly, hand caressing his cheek. His widened eyes searched mine, his jaw set from him trying to avoid crying out. He stopped moving, his body spasming only in a rush of pain. "That's right, it's going to be okay,  baby," I whispered. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch.

"What can I do to help?" I looked up at Emily, who was already waiting with another set of gloves, handing them to me. My hands were shaking, but I took them, putting them on.

She pierced the cap of the glass of morphine with a syringe. "I have Sue on the phone; she'll walk us through it."

"I think I'm gonna be sick," I announced, wringing the towel that soaked up the blood on the floor in the kitchen sink. It was a miracle we managed to keep Paul alive; his rapid healing helped us to keep him breathing long enough for us to remove the stake and stitch him back up.

The ribs were much trickier; Sam had to rebreak them, since they had fused at the wrong angle. Thankfully, Emily had a medical course, but she was still extremely underqualified, as were the rest of us, and Sue could only do so much on the phone. I still couldn't believe he looked somewhat normal when Sam and Jare took him upstairs.

He was now sleeping in the guest room, leaving me and Emily to clean up the blood he had lost. The rest of the pack went on a patrol in case the vampire wasn't the only one to breach their territory. "Bathroom's down the hall." She said, focused on wiping the table with disinfection.

"I told him to be careful. I told him, and he still almost got himself killed." I said, my voice rough. The adrenaline was slowly dissolving, only to be replaced by anxiety of what could have been. My mind kept returning to the image of Paul lying on the table, screaming in pain, blood gushing from his wound that wouldn't stop.

Emily put down the towel, reaching me in a few steps. "Hey, hey, it's okay. He's alive, he's resting upstairs. Take a deep breath with me." I didn't even notice how erratic my breathing had gotten. She took hold of my trembling hands, softly squeezing them, reminding me to stay in the present. "Focus on my voice, we'll breathe together and count it." After a couple of deep breaths, my heartbeat calmed down. Tears were streaming down my face. 

He's alive, breathing. 

She handed me a tissue, offering a small smile. "I've got it covered down here, go up to him."  She suggested, gently pushing me toward the stairs. "And find some spare clothes in the closet while you're at it." I nodded, not trusting my voice not to break if I spoke out.

I took her suggestions to heart, and when I felt ready, I entered the room, nervously biting down on my lip. I sat down, pulling a chair to the bed. His breathing was even, his sleeping form so peaceful. His upper body was covered by gauze and bandages, leaving only a few inches of tan skin that was slowly gaining a healthy appearance exposed. My face scrunched at the sight. I  might be crossed with him, but that didn't mean I ever wanted him to suffer. I still loved him, and seeing him hurt broke my heart.

"You promised to be careful," I whispered.

"Sorry," He said, his voice hoarse.

I  jumped, looking up to meet his eyes. He tried to sit up, only to wince in pain. "Oh, no you don't." I gently pressed my palm into his healthy shoulders, letting him lie down again. He chuckled, closing his eyes.  "You should be resting." I reprimanded.

He replied, "I was, but you're here now and I don't feel like it anymore."

I narrowed my eyes. Only an idiot would be joking around after a near-death experience, "I see you're fine. Great, awesome. Have a good rest of the day." I stood up, frowning. His palm found my wrist, encircling it. "No, I'm sorry. Don't leave. Please."

Stopping midstep, my gaze found his frantic one. He squeezed my wrist tighter, a silent plea in his eyes. I blinked, nodding. I sat down, looking at my hands, the image appearing in my mind once more, taunting me. "There was so much blood. You were impaled, Paul. That's not funny. It certainly wasn't funny to look at. If he were just a bit more precise, he could have gotten your heart. He could have-" I couldn't finish the sentence, my eye stinging with tears.  

He closed his eyes for a second, sighing. "I know, I just...I  didn't see him coming, Lizzie." He stopped, his gaze snapping to mine again, his expression serious. He was beating himself up for what happened. "One minute, we were running, trying to catch him, and the next thing I know, I'm being pushed to the ground by a bloodsucker who mistook my body for a living trampoline." He huffed, void of emotions.

I shook my head. "It's not your fault." My hand found his, lacing our fingers together.

"It is. You told me to be careful, I knew your nightmares have a tendency  to be terrifyingly accurate, and I didn't- I couldn't focus enough to follow it." He squeezed my hand. I stayed quiet, closing my eyes only to see him lying on the table like a slaughtered pig, making me open them again.

"I'm just glad you're okay. Don't ever scare me like that." My voice was rough again, unshed tears gathering the edges of my vision, blurring it.

"I'll try." He gave me a gentle squeeze again, before sighing, leaning his head against the pillow. I hesitated, my mouth opening and promptly closing as I couldn't find the courage to ask. "Whatever it is, say it." He said, eyes closed. 

Rolling mine, I took a deep breath, "You don't have to answer me. I mean, I'm the one who said to leave me alone. Which you did. And that's good. I mean, we agreed- What I'm trying to say. I didn't expect you to. And I... the bond, it hurt, and then it just fell silent. I don't know how to explain it. Did it...can it break?" 

He sucked in a breath, clearly not appreassiating the topic, "You deserve to be happy, Lizzie. Without the life I bring to the table." 

The line between my brows deepened. "Let me be the judge of that." 

"You already made your judgment pretty clear." He chuckled humorlessly.

"I had every right to be angry, Paul. You lied-"

He interrupted, "I didn't."

I frowned, "Right, you just evaded the truth. Do you understand how hurtful it is to learn that you wouldn't even think about me if you hadn't imprinted?"

"That's where you're wrong." He rasped, "The bond has nothing to do with the way I felt or feel about you. I couldn't stop thinking about you even before this whole circus started. Nothing changed about that. If anything, it just deepened the feelings." His expression was angry, a frown coloring his features, eyes narrowed.

"Then why not tell me about it?" My gaze softened.

He avoided my gaze, looking around the room, only to settle on our connected hands. "Because I wanted to avoid this whole thing. I- I wanted to ease you into it, but Jared blabbered, and it all went into shit."

I shook my head, "You promised to tell me the truth, Paul."

"I know, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. If I could go back, I would, " He rasped.

I nodded, squeezing his hand in mine. He smiled up at me, eyes closing. "You should sleep," I suggested. 

He was already dozing off when he mumbled, "Stay?"

"Yeah."

[lyinginmeadow]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

[lyinginmeadow]

i will forever be a new moon girl.

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 8

a/n: I'm so sorry for the wait. It's a shorter chapter, but I hope you'll like it anyway <- Chapter 8 - A song that makes you cry ->

I sat on a dried log that was washed ashore long before I was born. My mind kept returning to my conversation with Emily. I took her up on the offer and called her the next day to thank her again. I didn't sleep that night at all, and the bags under my eyes were more prominent. She suggested that maybe a trip to La Push would lessen the pain. Not because I could meet Paul here, but because I needed a breath of fresh air. La Push was his home, but I grew up around here, and a sense of normalcy was something I desperately needed.

My gaze was set on the waves crashing against the rough surface of a nearby rock. It was windy today, the salt sat heavy in the air, the smell of home. The sun was surrounded by a group of grey clouds, hiding it. "Look at you, finally making a trip to La Push." Someone chuckled from behind me, scaring the life out of me.

"Sorry, sorry. Please don't have a heart attack on my account." He laughed, plopping on the log next to me.

I smiled, "Hi, Embry."

"You look like hell." A small frown replaced his boyish grin.

I chuckled, "Thank you very much, always knew I could come to you for a compliment."

"Don't shoot the messenger." He put his arms up in surrender, laughing, but put them back down, his smile turning downwards. "I heard you two broke up. I'm sorry."

"Something like that. How come you're allowed to talk to me?" I deflacted, looking around to find Quil and Jake. They were always together, no matter what. Like the three musketeers, having each other's backs. They were pretending not to watch us and failing miserably.

"It's not like that, we just don't like the gang you hang with."

"They're not a gang," I argued.

"Agree to disagree." He laughed, and I shook my head in protest. I knew they didn't like my friends. Ever since we were children, they kept to themselves, and we kept to ours. However, we were older and, to some extent, the elders always thought that the older children should lead by example. Maybe it was an instinct, but Sam was always a leader at heart.

"They are like a secret police, Lizzie. The last month was brutal. And they keep looking at us, like we should join them." My lips formed a thin line because I knew exactly why that was. There was a high probability that one day, one of them might turn into a wolf as well. Maybe not Embry, since he didn't have the gene as far as we knew. However, from what Paul told me, Sam believes that Jake is next solely because of his ancestry.

I still pleaded their case, even when I knew he was right, "I bet. Em, I'm sure it's just them looking out for you."

"Right, Lahote almost breaking my jaw was a great service on his part," He huffed.

My eyes widened, "What?"

He winced, realizing he shouldn't have said anything. "Nothing. I just- I heard about your ankle, and I saw him with Jared at the supermarket. And since I haven't seen you here for a while now, I thought that maybe they knew something. So I went to ask how you're doing. I might have asked him if he hurt you, and it set him off."

"Em...you shouldn't have. Don't provoke him like that. He didn't hurt me, I promise. I was outside at night, lost my footing, and fell. He was the one to get me to a hospital." I bit my lip, giving out the short version of what actually happened. Paul did hurt me, but definitely not physically.

He narrowed his eyes, not believing a word I said. "Can't blame a guy for thinking it, did you see how he looks? How all of them look? Did you see how miserable you were last month? And how miserable you look right now? You're not the girl I know."

Standing up, I shook my head, "I did, they decided to hit the gym, and so what? And I'm not miserable, I'm just tired, because I can't sleep. We broke up, I think being a little sad over that is normal." At the end of my sentence, I could feel my anger rising. I took a step back when he tried to reach for me. "I'm going home. Thank you for keeping me company." I frowned, leaving. So much for a sense of normalcy.

"Lizzie, I didn't... I'm sorry, please don't leave." I shook my head, tears of frustration stinging as I made my way through the sand. Thoughts muddling, emotions boiling inside, threatening to spill. Weeks of instability clawing its way out in an outburst inadequate to the severity of the situation.  

Warm fingers encircled my wrist, the calluses rough against my skin. I blinked away the tears, snapping my head in Embry's direction, only to not meet his gaze. Instead, focused solely on where our hands touched. "Please." A voice barely above a whisper sounded from him. Almost timid, afraid of rejection. 

My throat bobbed as apprehension rose. My gaze slowly traveled to his eyes, determination shining in them brightly like a beacon, guiding me, prompting me to accept his offer. As I turned fully, the timidness changed into a cheeky smile. "I promise to make it worth your while." 

A chuckle left my lips as I uttered the answer, "Yea, why not?" 

His smile turned into a full-on grin, teeth flashing, "Quil's grandma made him bring cookies. But we'd better hurry before he eats them all." 

"I could use some sugar in my life." I laughed. His fingers detached from my wrist, only to travel down, lacing themselves with mine. Before I had time to process or even argue, his figure was already moving to the two boys, tugging me with him.

The sand was wet, our feet disappearing in it, coming out dirty, but we couldn't find it in ourselves to care. The beach at La Push had always been peaceful, a place to watch the waves, laugh with your friends, or feel connected to the world surrounding us. The sky was murky, the grey clouds creating an impenetrable shield. But unlike other days, the wind was warm, rustling our hair as the salt hung heavy in the air. 

They were laughing about something, the sound so cheerful and youthful, stopped by our arrival. Jake's smile lines disappeared, apprehension radiating from him. Quil, on the other hand, put on a smirk. "Look at what the waters brought in. Fresh meat. How you doin'?" 

Embry shook his head, mortified, "Quil. No."

I snorted, "Nice to see you too, Quil." 

"So you finally ditched the douches and came to hang out with real men?" His eyebrows quirked upward, the grin not leaving his features. Anger momentarily flared within me, threatening to spill and absorb everything in its path. I didn't understand where it came from, I wasn't a violent person. 

As realization dawned on me, the anger subsided. I looked toward the tree line as if hoping to catch a glimpse of silver fur, only to be met with shadows. Embry was ready to jump Quil, irritation flashing in his eyes. I returned the grin, my answer stunning him, "Please, you're a little baby." 

Quil's mouth opened, his hand flying to his chest, feigning to be offended. "Hey, I'm just a year or so younger than you." 

"Sure, sure. Is that milk running down your chin?" I pointed at him. 

"What? No- Wait. Jake?" He started to wipe his face, smearing it all over while his friends laughed, eliciting laughter from me. It escaped past my lips without much thought, the feeling almost freeing. 

My mind went blank as I realized how I missed the feeling. Embracing it, I sat down next to them, taking the cookie and dipping it in the glass of milk Quil was still holding. "They really are delicious. Want some? With milk, of course." I spoke out, mouth full. 

"You!" His hands went flying toward me, the milk spilling onto the picnic blanket. I jumped, standing up quickly. "Oh no, what a mess. We'd better clean it up." I pounded, overarticulating the words as if speaking to an actual baby. I took a few steps back. Another wave of laughter came from Embry and Jake as Quil stood up, quickly making his way to my retreating form.  

We started running, sand flying, laughter echoing on the empty beach. His hands enveloped me, capturing me in a strong hug as he lifted me up in the air. I started kicking, but it was of no use. "You're so gonna pay for that." He snickered, his face lightening up with a grin, a devious gleam shining in his eyes.

"Don't you dare, Ateara!" I squealed, a smile playing on my face, trying and failing to break free of his hold. His hold didn't budge, instead, he ran with me in his arms to the cold water, laughing like a maniac. 

It was Em who tackled us onto the wet sand, stopping him from advancing further to my ultimate demise. We stayed lying there, and it didn't occur to me to care for the sand in my hair. Cheeks hurting, I couldn't stop laughing when Jake joined us, ruffling Quil's hair. The two of them were off to the water in no time, the waves wetting their clothes as they tried to drown one another. 

It was easy being in their company, like breathing. No heavy emotions or topics that no one could fully understand. The air felt lighter, and so did my heart. As if it began healing without meaning to. 

Without him. 

A pang of hurt surged, only to be overwritten in mere seconds by the cold water splashing me, removing the last remnant of it, replacing it with a fond feeling of being in a company of normal teenagers whose only worry in the world is school and silly crushes. 

The laughter echoed to the edge of the woods surrounding the beach. The shadows enveloped him, keeping him hidden from the prying eyes of the onlookers. As he watched the scene unfold, his heart clenched at the sight. Her laughter lightened the bond between them like a sun showing a drowning person a way to the surface. 

She was smiling widely, her cheeks flushed with the hues of red, her untaimed hair flying in every direction. She looked so carefree, as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders and added to his instead. 

He felt conflicted.

Anger flared as he watched someone else lay hands on her. Eliciting laughter from her without even trying to. Possessiveness took over, crimson red blinded him, only for it to disappear the more he watched the scene.

She was happy.

He wanted her to be, for the smile to never leave her features. To make the colors dance just with the sound of her laughter. He just wished he could be the one to make that happen. For her to live a normal life by his side, where danger didn't lurk in every shadow, threatening to consume her.

The danger he himself posed. Emotions threatening to spill over the edges, prompting him to phase at the most unfortunate times. He couldn't control them. Now more than ever. The only thought overwriting them and calming him was her.

The image of Emily flashed before his eyes, making him take a step back. The image morphed, blurring the lines of his vision and changing into his imprint, covered in blood. With a terrified expression, color leaving her face.

His soul was splitting in two. Or maybe it had already done so when he imprinted. Maybe even before that, the little piece of it belonging to the one person making his damned existence worth it. 

She grounded him. Before his entire world crumbled, and had him questioning himself, it was always her. Now, she didn't believe it. She didn't know that she was his one choice, and no one else could ever come even close to what she meant to him. 

He should let her go. 

Let her live the life she should lead. The one she deserved to have. 

Her eyes once again flew across the edges of the woods as if looking for something. Someone. Only to catch the shadows moving a little as he retreated deeper into them, leaving the laughter, leaving her behind him. 

It was better this way. He told himself, heart shattering more in the process.

Only for the bond, the lifeline connecting the two souls, to strain at the weight of his decision, wiping the smile from her face. Her eyes dimmed one more time, searching for someone to bring the light back into her life. 

[lyinginmeadow]

I finished my finals yall. That was the most stressful event of my life, I never want speak in public again. But in the end it wasn’t that bad, and I did amazing haha. Straight A’s baby

Just have to defend my thesis and I’ll have a degree.

Aaaa, I can’t believe it 🥹🥹

Anyway, I can finally continue writing, yay!

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 7

a/n: still not happy with it, but it's fine. Also I'm done with 3 out of 5 finals, so I'm coming for that degree. That being said, the next chapter is going to be out next week, so sorry! <- Chapter 7 - It's too late ->

Days merged into a blur. The throbbing pain in my chest seemed to magnify with each passing one. I couldn't sleep, since I knew that's where I would have to face him, and I wasn't ready for that confrontation. But I was still human, and exhaustion found me one way or another. The nightmares woke me up in a cold sweat, gasping for air, accompanied by howls that could be heard from a distance.

I knew he was out there, but based on Jared's reassurance, he was ordered to stay clear of my house. The property line was the limit for him, as it seemed. The world was void of color, dulling once more. I couldn't understand how someone so young could feel so much for another human. I always thought the reason behind our instant connection was organic, natural. Not a foreign force pulling us together. A force I didn't understand.

The word imprint kept echoing in my mind as I was trying to navigate the overwhelming emotions. I needed to clear my head, to stop the constant thinking, and a doctor's appointment was a perfect opportunity. Well, it was until I found out the doctor, who would be removing my cast, was a Cullen.

Dad dropped me off; he wanted to stay, but got called in to the station, leaving me alone in the waiting area. I bit my lip. The last time I encountered Dr. Cullen, I had no idea he was a cold one. I didn't know how to act around him, now that I knew. What if he found out I'm in a loop? What if he tries to dispose of me because of it? No, that's irrational, he couldn't, people would notice. My father would notice his daughter was missing, and the last place he had seen her in, was a hospital.

I kept gnawing on my lip at how nervous this appointment made me. I stood up, leaving the crutches behind, making my way to the coffee machine. Just as I was entering the hallway, someone came rushing in. I looked up to apologize, only to see golden eyes, which widened as soon as they met mine. Staring at me as if he knew who I was, but I was sure I had never met him. He was handsome with his skin alabaster and hair that caught red hues in the light. My gaze averted quickly. I tried making myself as invisible as I could, and continued walking swiftly to the machine.

Based on what Dad told me, Dr. Cullen had a lot of adoptive children. The pack didn't really know any of them by name, and I didn't care enough to find out. I could still feel his gaze, burning into the back of my head. Looking back at him, I narrowed my eyes. He frowned, concentration flashing in his golden irises. 

Maybe I could get the cast taken off another day. Then again, what could he do in a hall full of people when his father worked here? Killing all of us without raising suspicion wasn't a possibility. My nose scrunched at the thought, wishing he would just leave.

I huffed when his gaze still wouldn't leave mine. To the onlookers, we must have appeared crazy. I cockled my head, hoping he would get the message I was clearly sending. The lights flickered for a moment, his eyes glossing over, the frown leaving his features. Without a word, he disappeared almost too quickly. So much for them trying to blend in.

I put the money in the machine, pushing the buttons to order a simple latte. Well, something close to it, anyway. My luck apparently ran out, since the cup didn't appear, making a weird noise. "Oh, come on." I slammed it, accomplishing nothing. I kept pushing the button to at least get the change back, but to no avail. "Machine's doing you a favor, that coffee is disgusting." A voice grumbled, making me jump.

"What are you doing here?" I sneered, keeping it as quiet as I could, not causing a scene.

He had bags under his eyes, his hair ruffled and unkept. His skin seemed to be dull in comparison to a couple of days ago. He frowned in defeat, taking a deep breath. "As much as I respect you not wantin' me anywhere near, I can't help it when you're near one of them."

"So you thought stalking me was a good idea?"

He grumbled, "It's not my choice."

I chuckled, void of all emotions, "Yeah, that's what this is all about, isn't it?"

His expression fell, rubbing his hands over his face, exhaustion evident. Both tired, irritated, and miserable. "Please, just let me take you home after you're finished here. And then, we can go back to ignoring, yea?"

I narrowed my eyes, taking in his form. He looked horrendous, and it split my heart open that I was partially the cause behind it. But that didn't excuse him for not telling me about the imprinting from the start, which I knew he wouldn't have done. Our connection wasn't real, he was forced into it. I wasn't his choice. "Fine, but I want you to leave me alone after that. I don't want to see or hear you. Just pretend that this thing between us doesn't exist; it's better this way anyway."

He shook his head, huffing, "For who? Because it sure as hell isn't doing us any favors." He was right, both of us were miserable, the bond that shackled us together wanted us to stay near one another. But I wasn't ready to let him in again. I was terrified of him breaking my heart more than he already had.

"Let's get this over with, so I can go home," I mumbled. He kept still, searching my eyes, looking for any signs of the love that was there just days ago, only to find resignation and exhaustion. He nodded, silently following me inside the waiting room.

The other Cullen wasn't there anymore, likely leaving through the other exit. Or at least I hoped he did. I couldn't shake the look he gave me, like I was someone he recognized. "Miss Swan?" The nurse called, ushering me inside. When Paul followed, she gave him a stern look, hoping to scare him into sitting down and waiting. "It's fine, I don't like doctors, so he's a moral support." I gave her a smile, taking hold of Paul's hand to make it believable. She sighed, relenting and closing the door behind us.

Dr. Cullen gave us a dazzling smile before asking a couple of questions about the injury and how I'm feeling. Once he was done with the chatter, he finally got to the part where he freed me of the cast. It felt as if a part of the weight had been lifted. "You'll still need to take it slowly. The broken bone seemed to heal nicely, and the radiograph isn't showing any signs of potential problems." He smiled once more, returning to his desk to write the doctor's note.

Paul's hand was still secured around mine, I almost forgot that neither of us let go once we came in. I considered letting go, but with Dr. Cullen in the same space, I didn't find the courage to do so. As much as I didn't appreciate the situation we were in, Paul made me feel safe. Still, I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible, but one question still plagued my mind. "When will I be able to dance?"

He printed the document, handing it to the nurse for a final stamp, before she stood up and gave it to me. "I would recommend a minimum of two weeks before starting any physically demanding activity." He responded.

I nodded with an appreciative smile. That wasn't the answer I was looking for; I needed an outlet to blow off some steam, and dance was always that. We were almost out the door, but he spoke up once more. "If you promise to take it really slowly, I'm sure a couple of lessons won't do any harm. But do be careful."

I turned, catching his expression, and the gleam in his eyes. I responded with a genuine smile this time, "Thank you."

Paul was already helping me out the door, not letting go of my hand. We went out to the parking lot, and I could swear there were eyes on me, but when I looked around, I didn't find anyone. Paul seemed tense, too, but that might be the remnant of us being in close proximity to a vampire for half an hour.

He helped me into the truck, the cold enveloping me once he closed the door, a shiver running down my spine. He looked toward the forest on his way to the driver's seat, nodding. I rolled my eyes, annoyance making an appearance. Of course, he was not alone. Didn't they have something better to do with their lives than babysitting?

He made it to the driver's side, sparing me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. Part of me wanted to reach across, smoothing the line creasing in between his eyebrows. Thankfully, the rational part of my brain decided against it. "Someone patrolling near?"

He nodded, starting the engine. "Jared just wanted to make sure you're okay and that you didn't kill me."

"I'm still debating it." I looked toward the forest, waving softly. Jare was still my friend, and even when I couldn't see past the dense vegetation, I was sure he saw me. Paul stepped on the gas, and the truck slowly left the parking lot.

"You're having nightmares again." He said, without making it sound like a question. I had an inkling he knew, since whenever I woke up drenched in sweat, I could hear howls. Part of me added it to the lack of sleep, but deep down, I knew he was always there, just like he said he would.

"Yes."

He sighed, his eyes not leaving the road. "If you need to take it off your chest, I'm here."

I shook my head, but thought about his offer. I had no one to talk to, since all of them consisted of the wolves and the bloodshot eyes that lurked in the shadows, never coming closer. "I think you should be careful out there," I mumbled, my head cocking to the side as I stared out the window at the trees that passed by.

He didn't reply, focusing on driving.

As he parked in front of the empty house, he let the car run, his eyes looking ahead. The radio was playing a song, its quiet melody shattering the silence that stretched between us. "Is it always going to be like this?" I said, not willing to spare him a look, scared of what he might see in it. 

His head finally snapped in my direction, his brows pinching in a frown. "Hm?"

I shifted in my seat, hesitantly looking up to meet his gaze. "Will it ever stop hurting?" I asked, fingers idly playing with the necklace he gave me on my birthday. His eyes dropped to it for a second before traveling up again.

"I-I don't know." He rasped, his face scrunching in exhaustion.

I came home from my first dance lesson in a month, and it felt refreshing like reclaiming a part of me that was missing. As much as I enjoyed losing myself in the rhythm of a song, I felt exhausted, and I knew I had overdone it by the way my ankle had been hurting ever since I got home. But the pain was worth it.

After the steaming hot shower, I crashed on my bed, only to be disturbed by the ring of a bell. I groaned, deciding whether to act like I wasn't home, but curiosity killed the cat. I made my way downstairs when the bell sounded again. "Coming!"

I opened the door to find Emily nervously standing on the porch. "Hi, before you slam the door in my face, I just thought you could use a friend to talk to. I'm bringing muffins as a peace offering." She smiled, a box in her hands that smelled delicious even when it was closed.

"Did he send you?" I cockled an eyebrow up, looking behind her for any signs of Paul.

She chuckled, "No, he doesn't know I'm here. He crashed on our couch, and Jared is keeping him company as we speak."

I nodded, stepping aside to let her in. Shutting the door behind her, I let her into the living room, offering her a seat. She accepted, sitting down, putting the box on the table, and opening it. "Take one, I promise they're not poisoned."

I frowned, but it would be impolite to decline, so I took one, taking a bite. The flavours were melting on my tongue, "Is this heaven?" I sighed. Strawberries were my favorite when it came to muffins. Having a sweet tooth, I was a sucker for a good dessert. If I had to guess, someone must have told her.

"I can give you the recipe if you want. It's really simple. The boys can't get enough of them." She chuckled, making me remember she wasn't here as my friend, but his. I crossed my arms on my chest, sitting on the other couch. A beat of silence stretched between us before she spoke up again, "I understand it is a hard pill to swallow. It took me a while to get used to the idea of being tethered to someone."

I stopped her, frowning, "Not long enough to start dating your cousin's ex."

She winced, "I deserved that. I'm not here to argue. I wanted to come here to answer the questions you must have about imprinting. I know how confusing it is."

"So I could forgive Paul?"

Emily shook her head, looking straight into my eyes with sympathy, "So you could understand what it means and decide for yourself."

I took a deep breath. I wanted the answers, and as much as I detested it, she was the only one who could give them to me. She'll be part of the reason behind my friend's heartbreak. Leah didn't know why Sam left her, and she probably didn't know that behind her back, he now lives with her cousin. I met Emily a few times when she visited the Clearwaters, but she usually visited in summer while I was in Arizona with Bella.

We didn't know each other well, and I didn't know if I should even trust her, but she was offering something I deeply wanted. Convincing my conscience that I wasn't betraying Leah by getting answers from the only source possible, I nodded. "What does it mean? I know it's a bond, but what's the reason for it?"

She chuckled softly, shaking her head, "Starting off strong. The answer is tricky; we don't know for sure, but it's to ensure you're safe, and protected. They are the protectors of the land, as I'm sure you know. Even protectors need someone who will ground them. Someone who will be there at the end of the day. Sam thinks it's because the line has to survive, but I think it's so they have something tethering them to their human bodies. Shifting is a painful process, tied to high emotions. And sometimes, all you need is someone waiting for you to guide you through them."

My gaze shifted to my hands, which were resting on my lap, fingers laced together. I didn't like Sam's version, because it meant I didn't have a choice. Emily's insight sounded hopeful, it gave imprints purpose beyond bearing children. 

A memory of the reflection in the mirror flashed before my eyes. The nightmare that followed. The sorrowful howl, the heartbeat that once thudded strong, silenced by the eternal sleep. I blinked to forget it, focusing on other questions that helped me evade sleep and the horrors that followed, "When does it happen?"

"It snaps when they first look into the eyes of their imprint after they shift." She smiled, as if the imprinting didn't ruin her life. Maybe she didn't see it that way. She seemed so in love with Sam. They both looked at one another like they were each other's lifeline.

My eyebrows pinched, "So you didn't feel anything for him before?"

She shook her head, "God, no. I didn't really know Sam, only met him a few times. For me, it was just another guy from the res, nothing more."

I hummed, "So imprinting changes the way you feel. How do you know it's genuine?"

She smiled, "Did it seem fake? Does it feel fake to you when you see him, think of him?"

I bit my lip. If anything, it only magnified the feelings I already had for him. I recollected what Sam told me: a part of him will always love Leah, but there was a bigger part of him that felt the need to protect Emily. But why her? Why did it pick Emily instead of Leah? "It's not their choice, so if he imprinted on anyone else, he would do the same thing to me as Sam did to Leah?"

She sighed, "I can't give you the answer to that, only he can. But our situation was different. Sam didn't know what was happening to him, he left Leah to protect her from the danger he believed himself to be. Not because of me."

"So the answer is yes, he wouldn't be allowed to share the whole truth with me even if he wanted to."

"He fought Sam on that, if it helps. He felt he should at least tell you in person, but he was scared of hurting you if he couldn't handle his emotions. I mean, look at me. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wanted you to be safe, but from what I've seen, it broke him. It wasn't easy being in his presence." She answered, standing up, and sitting next to me to hold my hand, gently squeezing it. 

She continued, "You might not be ready to hear it, but he loves you. He talked about you all the time. How funny you are, how your smile makes the world somewhat lighter, brighter. That was before he imprinted."

"And after?"

She smiled, recollecting the memories of her time with Paul, "He was insufferable. You were the only topic he discussed. And when you let him in, he seemed so happy, always talking about how your day was, and what the two of you did. I'm not here to tell you to give him a chance, because that is your decision. Just to give him some grace."

I nodded. "And if I decide I never want to see him?" It would break my heart into a million pieces. As much as I wanted to detest him, he was my childhood best friend. He was always there for me, never leaving my side. It wasn't his fault that he was dealt a bad set of cards in life. The decision that was made without our consent ruining what we had built.

"Sam and I didn't start off as a couple, instantly in love. I sent him away, I didn't want anything to do with him, but it was hard. It felt like the world dimmed, the line between us stretched, and I felt hollow. It was hard on both of us. And after the accident, I just couldn't let him leave. It was ironic, but he made me feel safe." She chuckled, lightly grazing her fingers on the gauze covering her face.

"So in the end, I don't have a choice?"

"That's not what I'm saying. It's different for everyone. Imprinting doesn't have to be romantic, but that bond is for life. And breaking it would be like shredding a piece of one's soul. That is not to say it's not possible, but it's not something that happens often."

Shredding felt like the right word. I've seen it in both of us. The lack of sleep, loss of appetite, and melancholy. The constant pressure inside one's chest pulling them in the direction of the other person. However, I just couldn't make the first move to mend our relationship, even if it was meant to be just platonic. I needed time to process the new information, to make my peace with it. "Thank you, Emily. For coming and the answers."

"No problem. If you need anything, here's my number." She pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling a number on it, pressing it into the palm of my hand. "Don't hesitate to call. Or visit. You're always welcome at our home." I thanked her again, seeing her off. Sam was already waiting in his truck for her. He waved at me with a small smile, and I found myself returning it.

[lyinginmeadow]

Oh my god I'm desperate for for a new chapter of imprimere sole. Any chances you could surprise us with a double update today? 😬😬😬

Now that’s tempting

I mean it’s written, just not proof read. I’m not really happy with it tho, so we’ll see!

But I promise it will be out as soon as possible. 🥰

Also thank you so much for reading, it felt like no one did xd

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 6

a/n: Enjoy! I had fun writing this, haha <- Chapter 6 - One more moment, please ->

The ballet was absolutely beautiful, the dancers captivated the emotions of their characters in their movements as if it were a second nature to them. It was what made me fall in love with ballet in the first place. Capturing emotions with every move, that is intentional, and telling a story not only through movement, but the music. Letting the melody guide you, pulling you into the story. I couldn't keep my eyes off the stage for one second. It felt so short, and when it ended, I felt the need for more.

Paul didn't seem to return my sentiment, but he looked pleased with himself for picking something I enjoyed this much. We picked up takeout on our way back, since I refused to go to restaurants. I also refused for him to pay for the food, since he already paid for the tickets, which I knew were expensive. He didn't want to budge, but one plea with puppy dog eyes and he relented.

Dad kept calling me on the way back, since it was getting late, and I totally forgot to leave a message. Not only did he scold me, but he also scolded Paul as if he were his own child. I had to hold myself back from laughing and make it worse for both of us.

Unfortunately, he couldn't stay, since he and Jared had a patrol. He made me promise to lock my window, even when I suggested he could swing by when I was already asleep. He said it was for my own safety and that he would see me in the morning after Charlie went to work.

My mind kept returning not only to the show, but also to the way he held my hand the entire time. A smile played on my lips when I fell asleep. I expected it to be filled with music and soft kisses, but instead, I was met with Paul's distraught face, waking me up in the early hours, making me wish he were here to soothe my worries.

It has been three days since our date to Port Angeles. Paul and I have been spending more time with each other than before. It was starting to get unhealthy, and even Dad noticed. The only reason he didn't complain was because Paul would watch tournaments with him, and unlike me, he would actually be interested in them. The only thing I liked to watch was hockey, and that was only once my favorite team made it to the playoffs, which didn't happen often.

I just finished calling with Bella when someone knocked on the door. "Coming!" I made my way to the hallway, opening the front door to see Paul grinning down at me. "Great, you're ready, let's go."

"Already? It's just-" I looked at the clock on the wall, my eyes widening in the process. "Shit- sorry, I totally forgot about the time. Leah finally called, and we had to catch up on so much-" I began stumbling over my words.

He stopped my rumbling, taking hold of my cheeks, his thumb running soft circles across them. "No need to explain yourself. You're ready, we can go, no harm done, yea?" He said, a smile playing on his face. I took a deep breath. "You're right," I whispered.

My eyes searched his before I stood up on my tippy toes, giving him a small peck. His hands moved to my hips, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. I smiled into it, my palms slowly traveled to the back of his neck, fingers lacing together.

I could feel my heartbeat quicken when his tongue danced across my lip, gaining access inside. I backed up against the railing, and he followed, his hands squeezing my hips to elicit a reaction from me. I could feel the warmth of his skin through the thin material of his shirt.

As my brain registered the lack of oxygen, I slowly broke away, breathing heavily. He let his forehead lean on mine. I searched his eyes, a small smile playing on my face, when he started grinning. "I missed this."

I cockled my eyebrow, "I can take your privileges if you don't take the grin off your face."

He laughed, leaning down. "Try it," he rasped onto my lips, making blood rush back to my cheeks. I shoved him off and walked right out the door onto the street. He followed, chuckling, taking my crutches, which I had forgotten in the kitchen.

Confusion spread across my features when he turned onto a secluded driveway that looked as if it led deeper into the woods. "Where are we going?"

He didn't spare me a look, instead focusing on the road. The trees parted and revealed a wooden house built around a tree with a swing decorating the porch. The place looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place it. "We're visiting our friends."

"I don't want to see Sam. I'm mad at him, remember?" I said pointedly, arms crossing over my chest, a sense of betrayal flooding my system.

He sighed, "And you were mad at me, so? Let's try to reconcile first. Or at least hear him out."

"I don't feel like it." I frowned.

"Lizzie."

"Paul." He parked next to Sam's truck, letting the engine run to give us more privacy from prying ears. "Please." He tried again, unbuckling his belt and turning his upper body to face me.

I shook my head, hissing, "She's my best friend, and he dumped her over the phone."

He winced, "Yeah, not his brightest moment, but he had a good reason. He was the first one to change, it was difficult."

"But that happened before she left. He could have ended it before, but he didn't; instead, he let us search for him, and after he ditched all of us. Leah couldn't sleep or eat when he was missing. I know it's not his fault, but he could have said something to her after he came back. Not wait until she left to make it easier on himself." I argued. It didn't make sense why he had to leave his girlfriend when she was away. Only a coward does that.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's more complicated than that. Not-"

I interupted him, the embers of anger sparking in my voice, "I don't want to hear another it's complicated bullshit. If you wanted to piss me off, congratulation. Can we leave now?"

"No. You wanted to see Jared, and he is here. This is also the place where we stay most of the time. So if you ever need to reach me and I'm not available. Or you want to get to safety, this is where you go." He said with urgency lacing his voice. My expression softened momentarily, I scrunched my nose in defeat. "Fine, okay. But we leave when I'm sick of Sam."

He grinned, "Don't let him hear it." He turned off the engine, stepping out of the car. I took a deep breath. I didn't feel like going to prison for committing homicide. I opened the door, hopping out of the truck, my hand still on the handle of the door to steady myself. Paul was already waiting for me, handing me the crutches. "Please try to have an open mind, yea?"

I frowned, not promising anything. He slid the glass door open, and a strong smell of baked goods hit me. Jared was the first to greet us, charging at me with full force. He got stopped by Paul's hand on his shoulder before he could reach me. "Behave," He grunted a threat.

Jared responded with laughter, shaking his hands off, and slowly approaching me with open arms. I ditched the crutches, leaning them on the closest wall, letting him crush me in an embrace. He lifted me with ease, spinning us once in a dramatic greeting, "It was so dull without you. Don't leave me again."

I laughed at the absurdity, "You left me, you dumbass."

He put me down, squeezing me in a tight hug, "Poteto, potato."

"I missed you, too," I whispered, letting him break free of the embrace. He was grinning, but stepped away. "He was so grouchy without you. It was unbearable." Jare continued taunting him with a boyish gleam in his eyes.

"I doubt it was that bad." I rolled my eyes, laughing, my hand finding Paul's, squeezing it.

"His mind was literally screaming your name day and night, I swear I thought I would go crazy. How's Lizzie? What is she doing right now? I should go and see her after patrol." He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring Paul's looming presence.

"I could go on and on." I almost felt how Paul shot him the nastiest look he could muster. But Jared couldn't care less, sending another sneaky grin to me before going to his previous seat on the old chair that was situated next to a round table that had been painted with a fresh white coat.

Before I had time to look around, an unfamiliar face appeared in front of me. My eyes widened at the gauze hiding half of her face. She wore a pleasant smile, her arms open for a greeting. I schooled my expression, offering a small smile.

"Lizzie, hi. I was wondering when Paul would bring you around. He keeps talking about you, I feel like I already know you." She hugged me, avoiding seeing the confusion in my expression as I returned the hug mechanically. She let go, retreating a couple of steps, smiling warmly, "Where are my manners? We never officially met. I'm Emily, Leah's cousin."

My mouth opened slightly in shock. So many questions ran through my mind with no answers. What was Leah's cousin doing here with the pack? Did she know? More importantly, what happened to her face? My mind was racing when I remembered hearing about a girl getting mauled by a bear.

"Yeah, sorry, I totally didn't recognize you. I knew this place was familiar." I chuckled nervously, not knowing how to react. My hand went flying to the back of my neck as I retreated, bumping into Paul. Right, no way out.

One question plagued my mind more than others. Was it a bear or something the size of a bear? I gulped, an uncomfortable feeling settling in my stomach. The images of my dreams from nights ago flashed before my eyes. A woman crying, clutching her face. An enormous black wolf staring me down. As panic set in, the echo of the blood dropping onto the ground, seeping in, resurfaced.

I could see Sam leaning on the counter near Jared, his eyes narrowed at me. 

He had the audacity to be looking at me like I was the villain when he hurt my best friend and maybe maimed her cousin? Anger replaced dread, the corner of my lip forming a snarl. I was slowly changing my mind about making prison my soon-to-be residence. Emily retreated to him, shaking her head, which made him change his expression to a warmer one. My eyes shifted between the two of them, trying to understand the dynamic.

"Lizzie." He greeted me.

I spat out. "Samuel." I could feel Paul's looming presence behind me. He crept closer, his breath tickling my exposed shoulder. His hand came to rest on my upper arm, ready to shove me behind him to get in the middle of us to prevent the possible bloodshed. "We're happy to have you." He tried again.

"We?" He realized his mistake, looking at Emily for help, which only confirmed my suspicions further. I shook my head in disbelief, anger rising within me with each passing second. "What the fuck is going on? You did not ditch Leah for her cousin."

"No!" They both said at the same time, I scrunched my nose at the obvious lying in my face. Paul tensed behind me, the sudden rise of voices prompting him to move beside me, his hand squeezing my arm, causing me to wince. Jared's lips formed a thin line as he leaned on his chair, watching the free show.

Emily was the first one to break the silence. "Why don't we have a cup of tea so we can explain?"

Paul pushed me further into the house as if I were a hostage, "I can walk just fine." I hissed at him, shaking free of his hold. He didn't seem to be enjoying this any more than I was. Eyes narrowed, shoulders tense, long gone was the grin he wore when he came to pick me up. Good, because he wouldn't hear the end of this once we were alone. Throwing me into this situation unprepared was a dick move.

Emily prepared the tea as we all sat down around the table. Sam was right opposite me, his eyes never leaving her. My eyes, on the other hand, were burning holes into him. "What have you been up to?" Jared clapped his hands, trying to lighten the tense atmosphere, an easy-going grin playing on his face.

"Not much, I'm sure my dear ex-boyfriend filled you in."

He made a face, sucking in breath, "Bro, you're never getting out of that friendzone ever again."

Paul growled like an animal, hands balling into fists, the atmosphere tensing once more. "Be nice to your brother, Jared!" Called out Emily, who was returning with a steaming kettle. "Sugar, honey, or nothing?" She smiled at me, ignoring the huffing.

"Honey, please," I mumbled, looking down. I tried to map out the situation, my eyebrows pinching with focus. She had to know, otherwise, there was no reason for her to call them brothers. But why tell her? Did they really hurt her, and were they paying a debt by revealing the truth? But then why was she so gentle with them? More importantly, why would she and Sam?

My train of thought was dispelled as she put a bottle of honey in front of me, sitting next to Sam. "Thank you," I mumbled, sweetening the tea. She responded with a smile, taking hold of his hand. His tense posture relaxed, making me frown. She looked toward me, "It must seem strange to you, me knowing about them. I bet it was a shock to learn about them, hm?"

I bit my lip. "A little. It was drowned out by the hurt they caused by leaving without a word." I responded, my gaze locking on the chipping wood of the table. I could feel their guilty looks boring into me, but I couldn't find it in myself to care.

"It wasn't hard to believe it was true when you grow up hearing the legends. And if not, seeing them change into a big bad wolf surely makes one believe." She changed the subject, chuckling, which was interrupted by a wince, her hand shooting to her face. I looked up to see Sam's alarmed gaze. Jared and Paul jerked in their seats, almost jumping to her. "I'm fine, would you all calm down?" She scolded them like children, reminding me of a mom.

"The scar is still a bit tender, nothing to worry about." She waved her hand.

I opened my mouth to ask, but stopped myself for a second. Curiosity got the better of me at the end, "What happened? If you're willing to share." I could feel Paul tense beside me. It might have been insensitive of me to ask, but Emily only smiled, encouraging me.

Sam looked at the table, shame appearing in his features, his shoulders slumped, palms balling into fists. She caressed his arm, loosening the grip and lacing her fingers with his, smiling affectionately before sighing. "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Before you get scared, it wasn't his fault,"

She shook her head as if to prove her point further, "They are not some rabid animals, who can't control themselves. He warned me to step back, but I didn't listen. It wasn't your fault." She added the last bit in a small voice, yet full of determination to make Sam understand. She didn't want him to feel guilty over something that had already happened. Something he apparently had no control over. 

I looked away at the intimacy of the moment, but Emily continued, "Sometimes there are things you can't stop. I tried to distance myself from the situation, pretending it didn't include me. But in the end, with the accident happening, I knew where my place was. I admit it is not ideal, and I will bear the consequences of my choices when it comes to Leah. He didn't have a choice picking me, but I won't put either of us through the separation again." She finished, not explaining anything. My frown deepened, not understanding how someone could do that to the one they loved.

My lips formed a thin line, "Didn't have a choice? Way to make it sound like you're a prisoner."

She chuckled nervously, looking at Paul, before returning her gaze to me. This time, Sam spoke, "She's my imprint. It's a bond between a wolf and another person. It is rare, and we don't have a full understanding of it yet, but that person becomes your sole purpose in life. Protecting them comes before anything else. Anyone else." His eyes found Emily, who was already smiling at him.

It should sound romantic, but it was terrifying. They lost their free will because some higher power decided their fate for them.

Emily squeezed his hand, "The world shifts for the imprint, too. It's something I can't really explain. But I had never felt more love in my life. It's like the bond is alive, present in every breath." She spoke with such admiration and love, her eyes not leaving Sam's. 

"Stop it! Stop acting like this isn't insane!" My hands slammed into the table, sending vibrations through it as I stood up. The light flickered momentarily as everyone shifted their gaze to me, breaking the intimate spell between the two. "What are you trying to say, hm? You didn't want to leave Leah, just some supernatural force made you fall out of love with her?"

He sighed, unphased by my outburst, "I never stopped loving Leah, a part of me probably never will, but I broke up with her before I found out about the imprint, because it was way too dangerous otherwise. I was way too dangerous. The pack is sacred, the secret must be kept in order to protect the people around us."

"But I know about it, and nothing is stopping me from going blabbering to other people about your little club." I spat, anger rising once more, clouding my judgement, obscuring me from seeing the whole picture. Why let me in on a secret they weren't willing to share with Leah? She was part of a tribe, and I wasn't. She could keep a secret better than I ever could.

He opted for silence instead of a response. I huffed, whirling to face Paul, who had his jaw clenched. "Will you lose all your autonomy once you imprint, too? Leave like before without so much as a word, or will you end it by a call, finding inspiration in your friend over there?" I spat.

Jared chuckled humourlessly, the first reaction he had since the beginning of this circus, "Once he imprints my ass." He snickered, rolling his eyes. Sam shot him a warning gaze, but it was too late for that. My mind went blank, finally catching up to the obvious, my heart dropping to my stomach.

Paul's arm shot up to hold my elbow to stop me from abruptly leaving. "Lizzie, wait-"

"I'm your imprint?" The question hung in the air as the suffocating tension stretched. 

His expression fell, eyes meeting mine, devastation at my reaction evident in his every move. They tried to make it as if imprinting was romantic. Something to be celebrated, to be happy about. To manipulate me into the idea of accepting, but the prevalent feeling of betrayal churned in my stomach, spreading like cancer.

He nodded, voice hoarse, "Yes."

I huffed, "Did you want to tell me, or keep me in the dark?"

"I wanted to tell you. Eventually. Once you learned more and were ready to hear the truth."

I shook my head in disbelief, breaking free of his hold. I exited the house as quickly as the cast allowed me, with him in tow. The rest didn't follow, but it was clear they watched as our argument unfolded, ready to intervene if things went sideways.

He lied. Again.

He promised to tell me the whole truth and didn't. The realization dawned on me. I whirled around to face him, stopping him in his tracks. "So if I wasn't your imprint, you what? Wouldn't tell me at all? Leave and never turn back?" I couldn't hide the hurt in my voice. His own face scrunched, confirming the accusations, and breaking my heart further. 

"I don't have a choice in what I tell you." That was my answer. He wouldn't. He would break my heart and never look back. It hurt so much more than before I found out about the supernatural stuff. A bond would make him forget about the love he once held for me. And now I wasn't even sure if this love was ever real.

I chuckled humourlessly, "Right, put it all on Sam."

"That's not how it is. We can't risk the secret. It's dangerous to be around us; look at Emily for fucksake." He threw his arms up, yelling, nostrils flaring as he tried to prove his point.

"But she's an imprint. So technically, you could still hurt me. But now you don't care, because you're tied to me with no way out." My eyes started to sting. He didn't tell me about him being a shifter because he wanted to. He had no other choice. 

He said, his voice rough, "I wouldn't hurt you."

"You already did!" I yelled out, frustrated. Lightning flashed in the distance, followed by thunder soon after. "You left me without so much as a text! And then, you come crawling back because you had to. Not wanted to, you were obligated to do so." My voice cracked at the last word, tears streaming down my cheeks.

He shook his head violently. "No, no." His voice cracked, his whole body trembling. From the corner of my eye, I could see Sam slowly approaching with a worried expression. "I was always there. I always checked on you, making sure you were okay. You have no idea how fucked up your mind gets when you turn into a fucking animal." He was yelling now, frustration flashing in his eyes. He was trying so hard to make me understand his perspective. But I wasn't mentally there to accept what he was offering.

His shaking wasn't stopping. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I took a step back. He stopped, his expression changing from a predator to a wounded animal. The implication of my being scared of him hurting more than any physical pain. "Please- I want to explain everything about the bond. Let me explain." He rasped, a sense of urgency evident in his voice. He was desperate, his hand reaching out. His eyes were red, the unshed tears threatening to spill.

I shook my head,  "I-I can't." I stumbled over the words as they came out, taking a few steps back. My ankle was hurting, the crutches forgotten inside the house. My body invited the pain, a distraction from my heart caving in. Droplets of rain started falling as the wind picked up.

Sam finally approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He shook it off, looking betrayed. I couldn't watch anymore. Something- the bond, throbbed inside my chest, coaxing me to go back to him. To put an end to his pain, but I couldn't do it.

Sam pulled him back, shaking his head. "You don't want to lose control, Paul."

Tears were staining my dress, dropping down my face. After these last few days, I thought things were getting back to normal. Or at least a new definition of normal. I let him back in only for him to break my heart all over again. I was so willing to understand his perspective and acknowledge that turning into an animal was something that messes with one's head, and they needed time to process it. The word imprint kept echoing, taunting me. None of them would return to my life had they had a choice.

He was crying now, "Lizzie, please." My gaze snapped to him, and I shook my head again.

"I want to go home," I whispered, my voice hoarse, knowing all of them heard me loud and clear. Sam nodded to Jared, who went back inside to get the keys. I could see Emily's face flashing with a sad smile, a smile that couldn't reach her other half, covered by gauze. If anyone understood how I was feeling, it was her. I felt conflicted, as if I was betraying my best friend just by being here.

Jared came back, gesturing for me to get into Sam's truck. I took off from my spot as quickly as I could. The mud stained my cast as the rain became heavy, soaking all of us. Paul was still trying to get out of Sam's firm grip to get to me. Trashing under his hold, tears staining his cheeks. I couldn't hear him through the ringing in my ears. I avoided his gaze, stepping into the car before he could reach me. 

He sped out of there, staying uncharacteristically quiet. I looked out of the window, seeing a blur a silver fur between the trees. I quickly snapped my gaze to my lap, wiping away the stray tears. The rain continued falling, thudding against the roof of the truck, mirroring the feeling growing inside my chest, "He won't bother you. Sam won't let him until you're ready or you're in danger. In that case, we've all got your back."

"And if I never am ready?"

He fell quiet again, not knowing how to answer my question.

[lyinginmeadow]

Make the clock reverse I Paul Lahote x reader

Summary: You had been dating Paul for what feels like an eternity, his loyalty was something you never thought you'd have to question until she appeared, tearing you two apart. Word count: 2,2k TW: cheating (kind of), insecurity, violence, angst, hurt and absolutely no comfort (you had been warned) a/n: I feel like I should apologize in advance. Also I don't hate Rachel, I just used her character since I didn't feel like creating a new one.

You never were a jealous person by any means. The first glimpse of jealousy came when you first became an imprint. People might believe that the whole ordeal affected mainly the wolf who imprinted, but boy, were they wrong. You might not have been as possessive as Paul, or as vocal about it, but the bond still made you want to remind everyone that he was yours.

You didn't run into any issues until she became close with the pack when she returned from college. Rachel Black was becoming a thorn in your side, causing many problems within your relationship with Paul.

He, of course, didn't believe the accusation that you spat in his face once you had had enough. After you both had time to cool down, he assured you that nothing could ever happen. You were, as the fates decided, the only person in his heart. That he would choose you even if you weren't his imprint, fates be damned. It did the trick to soothe your worries for a while. But a little bug still lived in the back of your mind, quietly reminding you whenever he was with her that maybe fate was wrong.

Tonight was the bonfire that everyone in the pack was to attend. The imprints were invited, and you hoped Rachel wouldn't show up. That, of course, was ridiculous and wishful thinking since she was in fact Billy's daughter, and since coming back to the reservation, she became part of the annual events happening within the tight-knit community. Your insecurity was like a bright beacon for her. Shining, tempting her. You could almost swear she was doing it on purpose. She was part of the community ever since she was born, and you were an outsider who somehow ended up as an imprint. Hand in hand, you arrived, greeting all of your friends. They were always there to assure you of Paul's adoration for you, seeing what jealousy was doing to you. ''Em, do you need any help with the food?'' You asked your close friend who was there for you when you became an imprint, and ever since then, you had become inseparable. ''No, I got it covered. But thank you.'' She smiled, nodding to Sam, who had just come into view with five plates.

You laughed and let Paul take you to a seat near the fire. Just as you were about to sit, he pulled you onto his lap, snuggling his nose into your neck. ''I love you.'' He mumbled almost inaudibly. You giggled. ''I love you, too.''

As everyone gathered, you could feel the daggers sent your way. You tried to focus on Billy and his legends. Ever since the tribe let you listen in, you had been invested. Today was different. You were not able to concentrate on a single word. Shivering out of discomfort, your gaze shifted to the fires burning bright. She made you feel as if you didn't belong. Your imprint, however, pulled you even closer, trapping you with his arms. ''You okay?'' He asked, worry lacing his voice.

''Yeah, the wind is just cold.'' You whispered, setting your head on his shoulder. That was not the best excuse you could master since his embrace was always warm, and you sat near a fire, but he didn't seem to hold you hostage over your little lie, probably thinking that you could talk about it in a private setting of your home.

As the legends and stories came to an end, music and laughter replaced Billy's voice as the elders retreated to their respective households. Paul reluctantly let go of you, so you could stand up. You joined the girls as you gushed over Kim's new job. Rachel, as per usual, didn't join you. Instead, she took the opportunity that your boyfriend was just with his pack members to get closer to him. You rolled your eyes, not having the energy to deal with her. After all, you trusted your imprint to be loyal, he never gave you an excuse to do otherwise. And you believed she wouldn't try anything with you present.

''So I have this weird colleague who is like obsessed with his lunch. Which I would get, food can be a touchy subject,'' She gestured toward the guys, earning a laugh from you both. ''But he has a camera in the fridge. A camera. Who does that?'' She shook her head in disbelief.

''I can see Quil doing it, so don't give him any ideas.'' You laughed. ''No, you're absolutely right.'' Emily agreed.

"Soo, how was the honeymoon?" Kim turned to Emily. After the events of a near war with the vampire royalty, the world around you fell quiet, peaceful. Tranquility called for celebrations, weddings, and time spent together without looking behind your backs, expecting another danger to follow. Paul and Jared tried their best to fill Sam's role while he was gone with Emily. But you could tell neither of them particularly enjoyed that task.

''Well, let's just say it's about to get even more crowded around here.'' You and Kim squealed and hugged her. ''Emily, that's amazing, congratulations.''  You were ecstatic for her; she always wanted to be a mother, and you knew that she would make an amazing one.

While discussing all the ways you and Kim would spoil the newest addition to the pack, you looked around, noticing that Paul's missing. Frowning, you tried not to jump to any conclusions, trying and failing to find Rachel in the crowd. Excusing yourself to get a cup of water, you left your chattering friends behind.

As you entered the kitchen, reality seemed to crush down around you. Paul had his back to you, but the action was unmistakable. The intimacy of the moment made your heart drop into your stomach. She snaked her arm around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. His hands were slack, hanging alongside his body. Her eyes opened, meeting yours as she moaned into the kiss.

Your whole world crumbled as you quickly spun on your heel, walking out of the house swiftly, tears gathering at the edges of your eyes, blurring your vision. Your mind was drawing a blank, trying to recover from the shock.

The ringing in your ears was nearly deafeng as you took the couple of steps down the porch into the clearing. You wore a distraught expression, feeling numb as if someone had just torn your heart out of your chest. The widened eyes of your friends were on you in an instance. ''What's wrong, what happened?'' Emily asked.

''Paul, he..." You stopped yourself, "I just want to go home. I'm so sorry, Emily. I-'' You couldn't find words, stumbling over them as you tried to remove yourself from the situation, looking around like a wounded animal.

''Do you need a lift?'' She asked, concerned for your safety.

''No, no. I'll call a taxi or something. Don't worry about it.'' You answered as you continued walking from the premises. The looks of pity from your friends followed you, haunting you. Would you now lose them, too? They were Paul's friends first, and since he was in the pack, it wasn't like they could banish him.

You wanted to rage and scream until your throat was raw, but the fire within you was extinguished. Embers of the anger dimmed in comparison to the deep, unending sense of devastation, as if your very soul had been ripped from your body. Because losing him felt like a fate worse than death. The bond stretched thin, aching with every breath you took.

It was so cold that evening, a clear sign that autumn was about to begin. You walked along the road, night enveloping you. You wished it could swallow you whole. Moonlight shined dimly, letting you see just a few inches ahead. If you weren't so distraught, you wouldn't be walking alone in these woods. Paul wouldn't let you, given that the vampires roamed around, looking for their next victim. But he was not with you.

He was with her.

Before you found out about the supernatural surrounding the Olympic Peninsula, the woods made you feel safe. At peace. Walking alongside it helped you feel grounded even now, when the world was crumbling. But not even the forest was enough to fade the memory of Paul and Rachel kissing.

Shuddering from the sudden pick-up in wind, you realized that your sobs weren't the only thing keeping you company. You stiffened, shivers traveling down your spine. The woods fell silent, watching the scene unfold. Holding its breath in the wake of a predator stalking its prey.

''I'll make it quick, I promise.'' A low hiss was the last sound you heard before fire enveloped you, threatening to swallow you whole.

''What the fuck, Rachel!'' He exclaimed as he pushed her off of him, "I have a girlfriend. An imprint. You know this. For fuck's sake.'' He started to pace around the kitchen, fingers pulling on his hair. ''What were you thinking? She was right. Fuck.'' He didn't know what to do. He needed to find her, tell her what happened, and apologize, even if he didn't technically kiss her on his own free will. How does one even explain this?

"I'm sorry, okay? Geez, I just thought-"

He turned swiftly, nostrils flaring. ''You didn't think. Who do you think you are?'' He yelled, feeling his temper rise as he began to shake. ''Dammit... I need to find her.'' He left her behind, stumbling out of the house, looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of you. Usually, you were the first thing his eyes automatically searched for in the crowd.

Instead, he was met by his friends. ''What did you do to her, Lahote?'' Yelled Kim as she closed the distance between the two of them. He looked around to find you again, but you weren't there. The implications of you leaving and Kim's yelling made his mind go blank. You saw them. You saw them and left. He trembled once more, shouting, ''Where is she? Where did she go?''

''I asked you first, so fucking answer.'' She shoved him, but he didn't move an inch. He growled as he towered over her, not appreciating her getting in his face. She should know better than to cross paths with an angry shifter. Jared made his way to his imprint, his boyish grin long gone. Baring his teeth at Paul, he took a protective stance next to Kim.

''I don't have time for this.'' Snarling, he began to leave when Rachel walked out, stopping on the steps of the porch, avoiding the gazes of onlookers. Shame coated her cheeks as she gnawed on her lip.

''You didn't...'' Said Emily, a knowing look crossing her features. Paul turned back to her, anguish glimmering in his gaze. ''You did.'' She whispered, her expression falling in disappointment.

Paul had begun to shake again, this time changing into his wolf form as he ran away from the angry faces of his friends. The whole situation made his heart beat faster, pumping blood into his ears. He couldn't wait for their answers; if you saw them, he had to fix it. He would fix it. He had to tell you it wasn't how it looked. That he would never betray you like this.

You told him how Rachel made you feel. He reassured you times and times again, that she was no one to him and that he only saw you. Which was the truth, he would never do that to you, he couldn't. Only now, you didn't believe it. Didn't believe him. And rightfully so. To you, this must have cut deeper than any knife could.

Running through the woods, he tried to catch your scent. Your words kept replaying in his mind, taunting him. His vision grew hazy with the images of your face, the betrayal in your eyes he didn't see but could vividly imagine. He stumbled, paws digging into the moss-covered ground as he picked up the scent of blood in the wind.

Human blood.

His pace quickened as he ran onto the road.

He saw it. You. In the arms of an unknown pale figure.

A vicious growl left his throat, catching the attention of the vampire. Crimson washed across his vision as the cold one pulled his bloodied teeth from your neck, hissing at the intruder. Without a second thought, Paul charged at him, teeth snapping in the direction of hard, cold skin. The vampire lost his grip, sending your body crumbling to the ground like a house of cards. Your head collided with the concrete with a bounce that echoed through Paul's mind.

Suddenly not interested in his prey, he started running toward the shadows of the woods, choosing life instead. A life he didn't hesitate to take from someone else. He wasn't quick enough when the grey wolf pounced on him, ripping his head off in a swift movement. 

The taste of your blood sat heavily on Paul's tongue, making his stomach turn. Spitting the head out, he let it fall with a sickening thud. His gaze shifted to your unmoving form, lying lifeless on the road. Your eyes were staring at him, the light in them extinguished, as if taunting him further. His whole world shifted while he stood there, processing the image before him.

The whole pack could hear the sorrow-filled howls shaking the earth itself beneath him. Begging anything, anyone to change the fates' design. The woods fell quiet once more. Listening, watching as the two souls, that were destined to be tethered together, get separated in a single moment.

[lyinginmeadow]

I should be studying for finals but let’s be honest world championship in hockey is more important.

Probably will be in my hockey fanfic era soon. Again

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 5

TW: nightmares, hallucination, blood, kind of gory yall a/n: this might just be one of my favorite chapters so far <- Chapter 5 - Reflection ->

Everything was falling back into place. Mostly. I couldn't fully forgive Paul for leaving, as much as I wanted to. It still hurt. Needless to say, he took it like a champ, which I found weirdly endearing. He explained how he needed to run patrols now, meaning he couldn't spend as much time with me as he would have liked. I didn't mind, because he was way more protective than I remembered, hovering over my shoulder as if I would break if he took a step back.

We didn't truly get back together, he insisted we never broke up, to which I argued that ditching me for more than three weeks without a text was a breakup. I understood why he did it, but I wouldn't let him off the hook because of it. He could have sent a message about not feeling well, he didn't need to go fully M.I.A.

I still hadn't talked with Sam or Jared. Mostly because Paul heard me on the phone with Leah one day, where I told her that I wanted to do nothing with him, and if I did get a chance to see him, he would lose his pride and joy. And as much as Paul would find it funny, he really didn't want to risk it. He said that Sam learned the hard way to control himself, and when I asked, he wouldn't elaborate. I thought back on it, remembering the crying woman from my dream, but shook that thought away rather quickly.

I knew they were out there every time I met with Paul in his wolf form. He was so fluffy, and as a wolf, he was quiet, which was much appreciated. Whenever he couldn't hang out in the woods, he stopped by in the evening. I tried to act like it was bothering me, but in truth, I was thankful. It turned my nights into dreamless ones.

Days seemed to flow somehow faster, and I started to miss my friends. Well, mostly Jared and his sense of humor. I still hadn't forgotten Sam for breaking up with Leah. Much less over a text, what a coward. "We could visit them, just say a word." He suggested one night while we were lying in my bed, fingers laced together. "I want to see Jare, not Sam. I'm pissed at Sam, remember?" He laughed it off, but he knew I was serious. "Right, so we can go see Jared. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to learn how much you miss him."

I crawled on his chest, propping myself on one of my hands, while the other was pointing at him, "Don't you dare tell him that, I wouldn't hear the end of it."

He laughed again, throwing his arms around me, trapping me in a hug, "Wouldn't want that." He chuckled. I hummed in response, letting my cheek sit flush against his chest, listening to his heart. The soft melody accompanied my dreams, keeping them brighter. I could have sworn I heard him mumble something, but I was a goner to the world.

I woke up confused and cold. I tapped the bedding beside me, only to realize he must have left a while ago. I sighed, rubbing my face to wake myself up. When it didn't help, I turned, staring at the ceiling. My eyebrows pinched when I tried to put together the dream, but kept drawing a blank. The only image replaying behind my eyes was Pauľs anguished face.

I rolled out of bed, making my way to the bathroom across the hallway. The water took its time to turn steaming hot, nearly burning the flesh of my skin. Wincing, I let it fall down my spine, muscles slowly relaxing under the weight of it. Humming a melody of a long-forgotten song that had suddenly resurfaced, I tried scrubbing the tension and worry off. Steam was clouding the mirror and tiles by the time I exited the shower with a soft smile.

Water dripped in a rhythmic pattern onto the tiles, cold enveloping me as soon as the curtain was opened, the warm towel doing nothing to help fight against it. I took a shaky breath, a cloud of mist appearing as I exhaled. A frown crossed my features as goosebumps coated my body, the little hairs at the back of my neck standing up. I took a step toward the mirror, droplets of water running down it, partially revealing my reflection. I ran my hand across it, removing the steam.

Coming face to face with my reflection, I released a heavy sigh. The lack of sleep must be messing with my mind. l let my head hang low, clutching the edge of the cabinet hard enough to turn the beds of my fingers white. Closing my eyes, I counted internally to try and steady my shaky breath. The cold air enveloped me once more, sending shivers down my spine. My gaze shot up, only to be met with a solemn face staring back, his chopped lips opened slightly, eyes empty, the glimmer of life extinguished by the breath of eternal sleep. Once rich brown skin, ashened, slowly decaying with each passing second, the open wound in his chest surrounded by dried up blood.

A high-pitched scream left my lips at the sight. I stumbled backwards, hitting the wall.

With a blink of an eye, it disappeared as if it had never been there. I stared back at my own reflection, tears blurring my vision. Taking in a gulp of air, filling my lungs to the brink of pain, I came closer to the mirror once more, releasing it. Mist clouded the glass, covering it. My hand shook as it itched toward it ever so slowly. With a quick movement, I wiped it clean, meeting my own eyes. Narrowed, vigilant. Horror filled my thoughts as I realized they didn't mirror the emotions shining in mine. The reflection stared, opening its mouth when mine stayed closed, hissing in a low, almost inaudible whisper, "Mih evas."

A knock sounded behind the door, snapping me out of the trance. "Are you okay in there?" I blinked, responding to him with a shaky voice, "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

Since we didn't see each other as often as we used to, Dad and I had decided that having breakfast before he went to work was a new ritual for us to reconnect. I looked back into the mirror, finding only a reflection of reality staring back.

I was reading on the bed when pebbles thudded against the façade. I sighed, "Normal people use doors." I could hear his laughter even behind the closed windows. I opened it, peaking out. "We're going out."

I frowned. "But I have to get ready."

He sighed, faking annoyance. If I didn't know him, I would take it personally. But he loved it when I put on makeup. If he didn't, I wouldn't let him anywhere near me, since I enjoyed it as much as dressing up. It gave me confidence, let me express myself, my personality, and my mood shining through the outfits and colors I chose. "Fine, but I'm going up." He said, already climbing the railing. I grinned, stepping away from the window to let him in. He jumped fairly quickly, making his way to me. "Hey."

The sight of him with a gleam in his eyes, cheeks flushed, a cheeky grin decorating his features, brought tears to my eyes, momentarily blurring the edges of my vision. Without a word, I enveloped him in a crushing embrace, fingers lacing behind his back. Burrowing my face into his chest, I listened to the steady thud of his beating heart. Healthy. Alive.

He let out a gush of air, not expecting the attack. His arms automatically locked around me, one hand caressing my hair in a soothing pattern. "Hey, what's wrong?"

I shook my head, worried if I tried to voice it, it would come out all jumbled. Things between us had just started to turn for the better, only for my mind to ruin it. The image flashed once more, making me flinch. "Bad dreams?" He asked, voice hushed as if scared if he raised it even by a decibel, I would break completely.

I hummed, nodding into his chest. His arms tightened, his fingers drawing circles on my back. He didn't say anything for a while, quietly rocking us, never faltering. The steady beat of his heart calmed the rugged beat of mine.

I slowly let go, not daring to look up and meet his gaze. "Thank you," I mumbled. 

He answered with an easy-going smile, "If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here to listen."

"I know. I just-" I stopped myself, reconsidering, "Promise me you'll be careful out there."

Paul's smile turned into a grin, breaking the solemn spell falling upon us. "Always am. Have to be, when I have you to come back to."

I shook my head, smiling. "That you do. So don't be reckless. I can't lose you." I looked into his eyes, finding a gleam of adoration and pure love shining in them. His gaze shifted to my lips for a second before searching my eyes for permission. My hands found his cheeks, cupping them. I gave him a peck, feeling his palms resting on my hips, pulling me closer. "Step by step, remember?" I whispered, and he groaned softly. 

"I know, I know." He didn't let go, his hands squeezed my hips. I let my cheek rest on his chest, hands traveling to his waist. His body temperature was a calming presence. With my anemia, it was a gift sent from heaven. I sighed into the hug, making him chuckle.

I lost count of the minutes we stayed in a comfortable silence, standing in an embrace in the middle of the room. "We should go, right?" I mumbled into his chest, not moving an inch. He grumbled a soft no, pulling me even closer. I giggled, breaking off. "But I'm curious." Looking up at him, he seemed to think about it. He was comfortable right where he was; that much was obvious, but it was his idea to go somewhere. "Fine, go get ready." He let go of me, plopping onto the bed.

"On it." I spent the next thirty minutes choosing the right outfit, finding every single item in my closet flawed. I settled on a summer dress, the one I last wore the night I got lost. Paul didn't comment on it. The only confirmation I got that he noticed was the narrowing of his eyes.

"Where are you taking us? I thought we were going to Jare's." I frowned when he didn't turn in the direction of La Push.

He grinned, keeping his gaze on the road ahead. "I never said that." I narrowed my eyes at him, pursing my lips, mind reeling at the possibilities. He chuckled, taking hold of my hand, lacing his fingers with mine, and squeezing it. "Come on, you'll probably love it."

"Probably?" I laughed.

He grinned again, "I'm hopin' you will." I shook my head. But I seriously didn't have a clue as to what he could have prepared. We were heading in the direction of Port Angeles, that much I knew. "You're so full of yourself. Can I guess?" My eyes lit up.

He chuckled, "Have at it, I doubt you'll get it."

"Hey, have faith in me!" I forfeited taking offense to his statement, free hand flying to rest on my chest.

"I do, beautiful. But I'm just a genius when it comes to romantic gestures." I cocked one of my eyebrows. Boy, he had such an ego, but he also did have a heart to match it. "Romantic, you say?" I laughed.

"Y'know it." He put my hand, still laced with his, to his lips, softly kissing it, earning an involuntary blush from me. Why was it so hard to resist him? I woke up today, prepared to not give him my heart for free, but what could I do when he already had it secured in his hands, but he didn't know it. Or by the way, he was now smirking; he probably knew and was taking advantage of it. What a lovable idiot.

I stayed quiet for a little bit, pursing my lips. "What could we do in Port Angeles?" I mumbled more to myself, making him chuckle. "It has to be something that doesn't involve walking." I continued. Based on my recent visit to the hospital, it will take at least one more week for them to remove the cast. I was so sick of it at this point.

He chimed in, "Not necessarily, I could and I would carry you."

I rolled my eyes, "Absolutely not, you know I wouldn't let you. So again, what else? Cinema? Restaurant? No, why would we go to a restaurant there when we could go to La Push, where we know everyone and the food is amazing?" I continued mumbling, which made him chuckle. He was probably having a field day with my inner monologue not being so inner. "Are we going to the pier? Or the aquarium?" I looked at him expectantly.

"I'm not telling you anythin', it's a surprise."

"But I want to know, please." I mastered my puppy eyes when I was around two years old, and I wanted an expensive Barbie doll that I saw in a commercial. Dad didn't approve, but one look into my eyes and a little plea, and he was a goner. Anytime my friends and I would get into any sort of trouble, which wasn't often, I would use them to lessen his anger. It worked like a charm every time. And let's just say, Paul usually wasn't as immune as he liked to be.

His gaze shifted to mine for a second, and his smile disappeared. He opened his mouth to say something, but blinked before he could. He snapped his head to the road, slowing down, pulling to the roadside as much as he could. I frowned at his sudden change in mood and behaviour, but not even a second after, two cars emerged from a turn, going at least 100 miles an hour. Silver Volvo was in our lane, cutting in front of the other car just in time to avoid a collision. If it hadn't been for Paul's reaction, they would have hit us. They flew by, without a care in the world, continuing on their way. "Idiots," We grumbled at the same time, laughing at our simultaneous reactions, the guessing game forgotten.

The car came to a halt in an empty parking lot. When the engine stopped rattling, I opened the door to find Paul already waiting outside, helping me hop out of the truck. "Thank you," I mumbled. He handed me the crutches with a cheeky smile. "We're not at the place yet, are we?"

"It's close." He promised, locking the truck and leading the way. My eyes widened when we turned around the block to see the Event Hall. I snapped my head in his direction. He was already grinning at my reaction. "Are we?" He nodded, and I squealed like a little kid who just got the perfect present from Santa. The crutches landed on the pavement with a loud thud as I hugged him tightly.

I wanted to see Swan Lake for ages, it was my favorite ballet show by far. The love and heartbreak of the whole act was perfection. A timeless tale told for more than a century and still beloved by thousands. It was the first ballet I ever saw, making me fall in love with it instantly. It was my first love when it came to dancing. Carpooling to Port Angeles with Rebecca and Rachel had become a distant memory, that echoed from time to time with heartache. Ever since I got into high school, I haven't had much time to fully focus on it, so I only took contemporary dance lessons to have a creative outlet.

"I know how much you miss dancing. Especially now that you can't dance."  He looked down at my cast, his smile turning downright. He blamed himself for the night in the forest, and while I tried to ease his guilty conscience, he just wouldn't let it go.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said giddily, almost jumping out of the place. His sour mood lifted, and he laughed. Leaning down, he picked up the crutches, handing them to me. But before I took them, I planted a soft kiss on his lips. His eyebrows shot up as he froze, just for him to continue the kiss a second later, smiling into it. I pulled away, taking the crutches from him.

"Don't get greedy, I'm still holding a grudge." I grinned as I turned and started walking in the direction of the Event Hall. All I heard was his laughter before he quickly caught up to me.

[lyinginmeadow]

wishing I could freeze time so fanfic writers could write all of their slow-burn enemies to lovers and gay porn and fix-it fics and all of their WIPs and prompts without having to worry about life and other responsibilities

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 4

TW: nightmares, blood, injury <- Chapter 4 - A foolish sheep makes the wolf its confessor ->

The branches were lashing my arms, as I was trying to cover my face from scratching it further. Running through the thick greenery felt almost impossible, but the sound of an animalistic growl grew stronger, urging me to continue. I stumbled, almost hitting the ground. I could see something moving simultaneously with me through the woods, never faltering, copying my pace, and never getting closer to fully enter my line of vision.

My pulse quickened when a woman's cry pierced the ringing in my ears, causing me to turn, looking frantically for a source. My gaze snapped to a woman clutching her face in her palms, blood dripping in a haunting pattern, seeping into the ground underneath her. She was mumbling something in a language I didn't understand. Taking cautious steps toward her, I extended my hand. I opened my mouth to comfort her, but no sound came out. A growl sounded behind me, making me snap my head in its direction. Before me stood a black bear. No, a wolf. It snapped its jaw in my direction, before I could retreat, it leaped.

I woke up drenched in cold sweat, sitting up. I had to take a deep breath to calm my racing heart. The sound of a distant howl still rang in my head like a twisted lullaby. My hands were shaking as I slowly stood up. Air, I needed air. I reached the window, opening it up, taking gulps of cold air. It was raining outside, and the rhythm of it dancing on the rooftop calmed my breath. I leaned on the windowsill, closing my eyes. The bags under my eyes suggested I needed sleep, but my mind clearly wanted to evade it as much as possible. Knowing sleep wouldn't find me again, I let out a frustrated breath.

"Trying to catch a cold, beautiful?" I screamed at the sudden voice, jumping up. I looked down at Paul, who was drenched, dressed only in shorts, steam radiating off of him. He was now laughing at my reaction, making me narrow my eyes at him.

"Aren't you a little lost?" I said in a hushed tone, looking behind me at my door, listening to any indication that Dad woke up.

"No. You're not replying to my texts. So, I'm right where I'm supposed to be." He smirked before taking a few steps back.

I sneered, "I highly doubt that." This boy's ego would one day either kill me or him. And since he was out in the middle of the night outside in shorts, my bets were on him.

"Move back, I'm coming up."

My eyes widened at his assumption that I would let him anywhere near my bedroom again. "The hell you are."

"It's raining, I don't want to be in the rain. You're not sleeping, so I'm going up. It wouldn't be the first time." I shook my head. He was right, he had been sneaking into my bedroom for longer than I can remember. A surprise was that even though Dad was a cop, he never caught him. He wouldn't do anything when we were still children, but now, he would probably shoot the guy. And for once, I would probably let him.

"That's your problem, no one said you had to be here." He grumbled something under his nose that I couldn't decipher. He took another step back, assessing how to scale up the house. I let out a frustrated breath before stepping out of the way. There wasn't a point in arguing with him. Throw them out of the door and they'll come back through the window. Well, in this case, it would probably be the opposite.

He used the railing to prop himself up on the little roof above the porch before jumping through the window. He shook like a dog, leaving all the water on the floor. "Oh, come on. Can't you at least act like a decent human now that I let you in?" I grumbled, going into my closet for a towel. His laughter accompanied me as I returned, and the towel went flying toward his head. He caught it before it could touch him, depriving me of the pleasure of seeing him hurt.

"Clean up the floor, too, you dog." I rolled my eyes, limping to my bed. He laughed at my remark, shaking his head. He fortunately listened, mopping the floor on his knees.

He looked up, distaste evident in his features, "You shouldn't be walking on that cast like that. S'dangerous."

I plopped myself on the bed, not sparing him a look, "If you'll lecture me, you can just jump right out of that window." He laughed, putting the towel in the bin with used clothes. The bed bent under his weight. He was sitting down, looking at me with narrowed eyes, probably trying to figure out why I was awake this late at night. I was the type of person to be in bed by 11, fast asleep. I, of course, made exceptions, but tonight was not the night to do so, and he seemed to know that. "I'm not telling you, so stop looking at me like that."

He chuckled, letting his body flop next to mine, changing the subject. "I want to fix it."

I kept my gaze fixed on the ceiling, "And I don't."

He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to face me. He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds before speaking up again, "You'll think I'm crazy."

I mumbled, "Nothing new."

"I'm a shapeshifter."

Now it was my turn to face him, "If you think being funny will work, it won't, Paul." I frowned, getting agitated. With everything going on, and him never taking anything seriously, it was starting to get on my nerves. Who did he think he was? A question that kept popping up in my mind more frequently than it ever had.

He sighed, "Fine. Do you remember the tribe legends? The ones about the protectors of the land." Narrowing my eyes, I slowly nodded, remembering them loosely. The tales of mighty warriors who protected their tribe by turning into spirit animals. I used to be enthralled by them, every single one of us was when we were children.

We used to stay up late, replaying the legends of the wolves and the cold ones who were defeated by the end of the day. As much as we didn't think that the legends could hold any ounce of truth, Billy and Harry always chastened us to have an open mind. To truly listen.

"Few lucky people have a gene that, uh, lets us change into a wolf. I sound crazy, I know. If you were telling me you turn into an animal, I would laugh."

I started to get up, my mind reeling. This was some twisted joke to him, and I was not having it. "You sound insane, Paul. I don't- What do you expect me to do?"

"Yesterday, in the forest." His hand found mine, heat radiating off of him. I stopped, turning my head to face him. I was gaping like a fish, I didn't want to believe it, "No, that's not possible-"

"Well..."

I stared at him, hissing, "Paul, this isn't funny."

He chuckled, "It's a little bit funny." I gave him a stern look to shut him up, "Think about it. Have you ever seen a wolf this big? And no wolf is concious enough to stay put like a damn puppy and then accompany you home," He questioned, his head cocking sideways much to the resemblence of a dog.

This time, I found it ironic. I shook my head. The wolf, Paul, was ginormous. It made sense, it wasn't a normal animal. The theory of my going insane was possible; I thought the lack of sleep caused hallucinations. A theory now notwithstanding.

The word shapeshifter swirled around my mind. Paul turned into an animal. How does one get past that? How do you explain it to your family? Hey, Dad, ever wanted a dog? Don't need him now, you can scratch behind Paul's ear when he shifts into a gigantic puppy. The answer dawned on me. You simply don't explain it.

Paul squeezed my arm, asking in a hushed tone to not freak me out, "You okay?"

"Processing," I answered, looking in front of me. My mind started to make sense of it all, the contents of the legends resurfising. The temperature, their height, and their mood swings. Them leaving without saying a word. "So Sam and Jared?" I looked back at him, he nodded without saying a word.

My nightmare came back to me. The silver fur running in the tree line, never letting me catch a closer look, before a loud howl snapped me awake. It was not the first time I dreamed of a wolf. Far from it, it haunted my dreams ever since Sam went missing all these weeks ago. I gulped, shaking the image of a crying woman from my mind. The blood seeping into the ground. What it all meant was a question I couldn't answer right now. 

I flopped back onto the mattress, a gush of air leaving my lungs. Paul was sitting, looking down at me with a question in his eyes, "You are taking this better than I expected."

"I'm just trying to make sense of it all."

He hummed, lying down next to me, "Right back at ya."

I chuckled, the sound sitting weirdly in my throat. I bit my lip, curiosity overtaking my actions. "How is it?"

"Painful at first. The sound of breaking bones during transformation was terrifying. Thankfully, Sam was there to guide me through it. I was so angry at him for leaving us and making Jared leave, too. So when they came because they could see the symptoms, I blew up. Literally." He looked at the ceiling, recollecting his thoughts. "But now it's," He stopped, trying to find the right words, "It's freeing. It's like my life found another meaning, ya know?" I didn't stop looking at him, smiling softly when he turned to face me again.

"I couldn't get hold of the whole shifting thing. Everything set me off, so Sam thought it best to stay M.I.A. for a while. I was so scared I would hurt someone like-" He stopped, frowning, "It was a lot."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, taking hold of his hand, squeezing it.

He looked down, shaking his head, "Yeah, no, don't say sorry. It ain't your fault."

"I know, but it's not fair that you have to go through that," I said in a low voice.

"Maybe, but I get to protect the people I love, so I guess it has its moments." He smirked, looking at me. I rolled my eyes, trying to free my hand, but he wouldn't let me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I had no other choice. I couldn't stomach hurting you if I couldn't control myself."

I stayed quiet for a while, trying to make my peace with the whole thing. I wished I could say I understood where he was coming from, but there was a part of me that felt betrayed by how he couldn't say something, anything for the weeks that followed. I decided against the conversation we would have to have one day. Rain kept dancing against the window, reminding me of the blood dropping onto the mossy ground.

Shaking my head, I  tried lighting the mood up to forget and escape the images that circulated through my mind. "You're so lucky I grew up hearing the legends, or I would have called a psychiatric facility already. Now I might just call animal control, if you piss me off." He laughed, closing his eyes. He seemed so carefree, I could almost see my boyfriend again in that laugh. The one who would always come to my room, cheering me up when I was crying because someone made fun of me. The one who dragged me along on all his stupid adventures in the woods, so he wouldn't be all alone. The one who never wanted to leave me alone.

After his laughter died down, he found my gaze again, making me blush, "I missed this. Missed you."

I hummed, closing my eyes, "Tell me more about being a wolf." I whispered. He chuckled softly before continuing to tell me about shifting and the thoughts he now had to share with Sam and Jared. I could feel myself slipping, my dreams now reduced to a mere blur of silver fur and Paul's laughter. I registered someone pulling me into a warm hug before I was a complete goner.

[lyinginmeadow]

Imprimere sole I Chapter 3

<- Chapter 3 - In between pine trees ->

After the argument, Paul's phone rang. He seemed aggravated, pacing around the living room before hastily leaving, huffing. He didn't say anything, only looking in my direction as if he didn't want to leave. Looking away, I kept stirring the pot on the stove, ignoring his heated gaze.

My appetite diminished, so I just put it away to cool before placing it into a box and leaving it in the fridge for Dad. I made much more than just the two of us could eat because even if I didn't enjoy Paul hovering, I wouldn't let him starve. When I decided to be at least civil, he just had to ruin it.

I picked up my phone and dialed Bella. She picked up after a few rings, "Finally found time to call your sister?" She said, a smile evident in her tone.

"Hi, Bells." I smiled even when she couldn't see it. Hearing her voice was a nice change of pace. Given her introverted nature, it wasn't uncomfortable to maintain our sisterly relationship, mostly over the phone. We talked all the time, always telling each other all of our secrets. That changed when I decided against sharing how my friends and my boyfriend ditched me. I didn't want her to worry, she had to deal with our mother. The least I could do was not to worry her over something she couldn't fix.

"So you're positive you can't make it to Phoenix?"

I shook my head as if she could see me, "I love you, but that heat would absolutely kill me."

"Right, I figured." She answered, which made me laugh. "But I wanted to share something with you."

"Hmm, want me to guess or?"

She chuckled, "No, you wouldn't guess it anyway."

"Rude, I'm an excellent guesser."

"Right, keep telling yourself that." She laughed, and I shook my head, sighing. Before I could think of a comeback, she continued, "I might be moving to Forks."

Silence stretched between the lines for a second as I processed the new information. Confusion melted into joy. I would have my sister back, not for mere weeks during summer, but all year round. "What? When? How? What about Re-mom?" I couldn't understand it, I hoped she meant only her alone would be moving. It was ridiculous to be afraid of the possibility of Renée coming back. She practically flew out of here the moment she got the chance.

"It's not set in stone so stop freaking out. Phil and Mom are getting married in September." She waited for the information to settle in. My eyebrows pinched. Dad's going to be devastated once he hears. And I would probably be the one to tell him, to soften the blow. They hadn't been together for years, but Dad never seemed to get over Renée. I tried my best to be there for him, setting him up on a few dates, but it never panned out.

"So what, now they don't want you there?"

"It's not like that. He is always traveling. And mom...She gets lonely." Her voice was now stern. She, like me, was always worrying about about parents. Renée had always been a free spirit, usually thinking about herself above anyone else. But thanks to that and my relentless crying as a child, I got to spend my childhood in Forks, so I shouldn't be complaining too much.

I shook my head in disbelief, "You're not responsible for her feelings. It's the other way around, Bella."

"You take care of Charlie all the time!" Her voice was now angry.

I didn't want to argue with her, it never led to anything. We were both headstrong, taking after our mother, and when fights broke out, we needed a few minutes to cool down before speaking to one another. "Fine, point taken."

She sighed, "I'm sorry...It was my idea- that she would travel with him. She wanted me to go with them, but I just really don't like to travel." I could almost imagine her face as she chuckled, scrunching her mouth.

"So when can I expect a roomie?"

She took a deep breath, preparing me for another wave of bad news. It felt like I had become a magnet for those in the last weeks. "Her only condition was to wait until after Christmas."

I whined, my good mood suddenly gone, "But that's so far away."

"Tell me about it. And it's not set in stone yet. So don't tell Charlie just yet."

My smile turned into a thin line. "You've got it, dude." She laughed, and I could almost imagine the way her face cringed. "Stop with references."

We talked for at least another hour. Our favorite band released a new album, and I finally got the chance to get my hands on their CD to listen to it, so it obviously called for a discussion. She kept trying to ask me about why I ended up in the woods all alone. I tried to dodge her questions, telling her that Paul was out on a part-time job and I forgot to tell my friends I was out there. And I had fallen asleep without taking my phone with me, which wasn't a lie. She was grateful Paul found me, but still grumbled about how he should have gotten there sooner. Had she known we broke up, she would have known that the fact he got there before I got hypothermia was a miracle.

It was still relatively nice out, much better than it usually was in Forks. Sighing, I stood up, staring at my crutches. Shaking my head, I tried to stand on my leg. When I decided it didn't hurt, I slowly made my way toward the back door. There were still solid 4 hours till dad came back home, and since there was no one to hold me captive in my own home, I could finally leave as I pleased. Well, sort of, since going anywhere with the cast in this city wasn't ideal. Not to mention that small towns were harbours for gossip, and Dad would learn about my departure before I even set foot on the concrete in the driveway.

I took off in the direction of the woods in the backyard. It was my favorite place growing up, I would lose myself in it whenever I could. It always felt peaceful, calling me to revel in its quiet solace. Clouds parted for a minute, letting the sunlight dance in between the branches, lighting the leaves in different shades of green.

Walking along the path, I marveled at how it didn't change one bit. Even now, after I almost got myself killed in the woods, it didn't change my view on it. If anything, I could finally take a deep breath. The path started to curve, a hint that I'm almost where I want to be. I turned left, shuffling the ferns out of the way. The cast was making it really difficult to move in the moss covering the ground. It started to turn green, and I knew that when dad noticed, I would have to lie and say it's just from the grass in the backyard.

Finally, the greenery revealed sunken ground with a fallen tree across it, making a perfect hideout for little kids. It was nothing special, nestled between trees and easy to miss. I smiled, once the memories of me and Leah came rushing in. We found this place by accident, but in our minds, the tree trunk created the perfect roof, making a little cave for us to hide in and play. One of the surrounding trees still had doors painted on it, with little windows carved into its bark.

I carefully stepped on the fallen tree before sitting down. Closing my eyes, I focused on the rustling of the wind, calming me down. My fingers mindlessly played with the moss covering the bark, legs hanging over the opening to our little hideout. Clouds part again, letting the sun tickle my cheek. I missed Leah, who would slap some sense into me. Tell me to forget about stupid guys and focus on anything else. I missed dancing, the one thing that could make me forget worries floating around my mind.

Rustling of nearby branches pulled me out of those thoughts. My gaze snapped toward the noise, eyes widening in shock. Near me, a wolf the size of a horse stepped onto the clearing. Biology might not be my favorite subject, but the size of that thing was definitely not normal. I kept looking at it, its green eyes capturing my attention, the familiarity of them. I knew those eyes, but I couldn't place them. It cocked its head sideways, eyes narrowing. Survivor instinct finally kicked in, and I wanted to kick myself for not having any self-preservation.

My gaze shifted away from its eyes, looking toward the ground just before its gigantic paws. It whined, slowly lowering itself down, head leaning on its paws. My eyes found his once more. It seemed so aware, almost human-like, it freaked me out further. I inched away when it whined again. "You know, one might think you're looking for a company and not a prey." I chuckled. I was officially going insane and embracing it. It huffed in response, which I took as a yes.

"Well, don't let me stop you." I smiled and took my eyes off it. If it wanted to kill me, it probably already would have done so. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the uncharacteristic sunshine. I heard cautious steps before the wolf nestled near me. It was not fully going on the tree, which I was thankful for, since it probably wouldn't hold under both of our weights. His snout nuzzled my arm, the same way a dog would if it were asking for attention. I smiled, slowly lifting my hand. Taking a deep breath, I mentally prepared to lose it as I stroked the coarse fur on its head. It huffed in contentment, closing its eyes, making my smile wider.

"You're pretty cute for an oversized puppy," I mumbled, softly laughing, not to startle it. It huffed again, now the sound reminded me of a chuckle. I didn't think that my friends' leaving would mean I would start befriending animals like a Disney princess. Well, one animal, but it was the size of a horse, so it counted for at least three.

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before I looked at it again. I kept running my finger through its thick fur, and it seemed to like it. The silvery wolf kept his eyes closed, dozing off. "I missed a proper company," I whisper. It seemed to like my company, too, since it was contentedly huffing. It inched close, putting its head in my lap. "Want scratches behind your ears, too, you big pup?" I waited for it to settle before slowly, softly scratching its head and behind its ear.

It seemed as if the hours flew by, and the wind picked up. If it wasn't for the wind, I wouldn't have noticed the change in the weather signaling the approach of evening. The heat radiating from the wolf kept me warm. Its head suddenly lifted from my lap, its ears flattening. It looked at the sky before shifting its gaze toward the path. It was getting late. It stood up, cocking its head waiting for me to move. "It's late, huh? Time's been slipping away from me these days." I said, my voice hoarse from not speaking for a while. I moved my legs around, they felt numb from not changing my position. I winced once my ankle woke up. The wolf whined in response. "Next time, I'm sleeping on you," I replied, waiting for the tingling sensation to pass.

Putting my legs up on the trunk of the tree, I carefully stood up. The wolf was still watching me, looking at my injured leg. "You should find your pack, and I should go home. My dad will probably kill me if he finds out I'm in the woods by myself. Again. With a giant animal. Which is a first." I took careful steps before I finally stood on solid ground. The wolf stood next to me, lowering its head so its snout could nudge my side. Now that I was standing next to it, the size of it was terrifying. It practically towered over me. I took another deep breath as I took one step, my cast hitting the ground with a soft thud.

The animal didn't leave my side, helping me when I lost my footing, trying not to break my cast. Just when we neared the clearing, it stopped. Its head snapped to look behind us, ear flattening. It barred its teeth, without making a sound. Time to leave. When I was a couple of steps away, I dared to sneak one last look. It was gone as if it had never been there in the first place.

I hoped that was not the case, because I didn't feel like going insane at the ripe age of 16. By the speed everything seemed to be falling apart, I would be lucky to turn 17 in September. I went inside, plopping myself on the couch, when my phone buzzed. I furrowed my brows, looking at the message.

I'm sorry. Text me when we can talk.

[lyinginmeadow]

Summer days I Dad!Azriel x Mom!reader

Word count: 1,4k Summary: You and your family enjoy a nice day at the beach A/N: Seasonal depression is gone, so this is a fluffy little blurb. I'm finally writing for acotar again, yey.

Vacation was hard to come by in Velaris, so your family gladly took it when the opportunity arose. Adriata was incredibly beautiful, and the sunshine gave you all the serotonin you needed. After a good amount of reassurance from Varian, Tarquin let you stay at his beach house. Even Cassian was welcomed, sort of. From what you had heard, he wasn't allowed to drink a single drop of alcohol and had to periodically get tested. It was hilarious.

You knew you were under a watchful eye, but the sea made it all worth it. It was so much warmer than what you were used to. Since Night was much colder, especially in Velaris, surrounded by the mountains. The beach was beaming with life as your two little boys played with their father and his shadows in the shallow water. Your heart was swelling at the sight of them smiling and laughing.

''The things I would give to the Mother to bed him. I mean, do you see his body?'' Your fae ears picked up a female's hushed voice. ''Same, dear. Only the Gods know what he could do with those shadows of his.'' Another female replied, smitten with your mate. ''Maybe he is available.'' You rolled your eyes, slightly agitated. Not only was Azriel yours, and these types of conversations were a common recurrence, but you found it highly disgusting to be suggesting something like that while your mate was playing with your two children. Signing, you mindlessly rubbed your growing belly. Thankfully, revenge sometimes finds you naturally.

''Momma!'' Your oldest, Evren, yelled as he ran to you, fully drenched in salty water with his brother and father right behind him. ''Did you see how we built the castle?'' He asked full of excitement and anticipation. ''Yes, it looks stunning, honey. When are we moving in?'' You smiled down at him, ruffing his hair as he laughed, telling you how silly you were for wanting to live in a sand castle. ''Daddy's shadows helped, too.'' Added Rhyo, your younger son, as he came nearer, hand in hand with your mate. ''Hey there, momma.'' Az purred, letting go of Rhyo to lean down and peck your lips. ''EWW!'' Screamed both of your children, earning a laugh from both of you.

''Hush, the two of you, or there will be no story during bedtime.'' Az threatened them jokingly, and as always, it worked. You looked behind you at the females who were all but drooling over your mate just moments ago, only to see them packing and shooting daggers your way. You smiled sweetly, returning your attention to your family.

''You two going to water with us now, sunshine?'' Az asked as he rubbed your swollen belly. ''Only if you help me stand up.'' He just laughed, offering his scarred hands and lifting you with ease. ''I love you, you know that?'' He whispered, not letting go of your hands. Man, was he good at his spying. ''I love you, too.'' You kissed him again, but this time the shadows prohibited the boys from seeing. ''Hey!'' They both squealed, but the shadows disappeared shortly after letting them see just your cheeky grins. ''Wanna show me the castle up close?'' You smiled at them as they nodded, racing towards the water without looking back. You followed close by, wrapping your arms around your mate's waist, slowly letting them drop lower.

''Let's keep it family-friendly here, okay? You know Targuin loves sending us rubies.'' Called Feyre, who suddenly appeared with Rhys and Nyx behind you. ''Nyxie, come see the castle we built!'' Yelled your little ones with glee, making Nyx disappear from beside his parents. Literally, leaving smoke behind him as he reappeared next to Rhyo, who was laughing at his ability. ''At least we wouldn't have to worry about a gift for Amren.'' You laughed while hugging your pregnant sister. ''I still can't believe our timing.'' She shook her head and then glared back at Rhys, who was laughing, probably sending a mental remark her way.

''Me either. I wish I could help you with discomfort, but my hands are tied. Madja says I shouldn't use powers, and Az wholeheartedly agrees, saying that we have been through this already.'' You rolled your eyes, but even if you didn't like it, you agreed with them. Being a healer, you understood the risks of fae pregnancies. Your first gave the two of you quite a scare. But you never complained since it gave you your firstborn, Evren. Ever so serious, as his father often was, you loved him dearly.

''Rhys is unbearable with protectiveness, too. I am shocked he agreed to go to this beach. But I get it, you know how our first went.'' You nodded, not wanting to relive the dread that seized you during your sister's first birth. Keeping her alive when your powers were just developing was harder than anything you had ever experienced. ''I think this time it could be a little baby girl.'' Feyre beamed, changing the topic to something positive. ''You and me both.'' You answered with a smile on your face. You loved having boys, but an image of a little girl with pigtails, running around, never left your dreams.

''If you wanted more children, you should have asked. I would gladly let you keep mine.'' Answered a female with a smirk dancing on her face. ''Nesta, for the last time, stop giving out our child to other beings.'' Called Cassian, earning laughter from our group. 

''It's good to see you made it in good spirits.'' Smiled Rhys when he greeted them. The males instantly formed a group looking after the children so they wouldn't get into trouble. Much like their fathers, they seemed to possess a magnet when it came to these things.

''You're both glowing, but Gods, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes in this heat.'' Said Nesta as she hugged you and Feyre.

''It's killing me, but Az is thankfully occupying the boys so I can rest a bit more.'' You smile, looking at Azriel with a fond smile. You were still smitten, even after all those years. You still couldn't get used to the idea that what felt like many years was nothing in a lifetime of fae. ''I still can't believe we are about to have another child.''

''Neither can I. But can you blame us? Everything is uncharacteristically quiet. And peaceful.'' Added Feyre while watching her mate chuckling at something Cass said.

''Well, you won't see me having another anytime soon. One is a handful. I am convinced she inherited everything from Cassian. Little spawn of Hel.'' Nesta shook her head, but all three of us knew she adored her child. She gave her everything our mother never even attempted to. She may be strict, but that never stopped her from being a good mother, even if she'd worried she wouldn't be enough.

''You know, I thought that people in Adriata are way happier due to the sunshine and everything, but we passed a couple of females in a particularly bad mood.'' Feyre shook her head, making you chuckle. ''I feel like I am to blame for that.'' You admitted trying to at least hide the smirk forming on your lips.

''Excuse me, you? You do realize that is my expertise.'' Said Nesta in disbelief. ''I need details. Spill.'' She continued.

''Well, it was not exactly my fault. One would think that after being mated and having faelings, they would stop drooling over him. But no, and in front of the children at that. It's disgusting.'' You shared, shaking your head in disdain.

''I feel you. I may be a High Lady, but some people still don't get the hint.'' Feyre gave you a sympathetic look. 

''Honestly, why are they even bothering with some old grandpas when we are in the picture?'' Said Nesta quite loudly. ''I heard that!'' Called Cassian back. ''You were supposed to!'' Replied the oldest of the Archeron sisters, earning laughter from all of us.

These days were your favorite. Being surrounded by your family was always what fuelled you, making you happy. Smiling, you looked at your mate, who was always there to return your gaze. Feeling the love he sent down the bond made your heart flutter. After so many hardships, this is what you needed.

Thank you so much for reading this little piece 🤍

[lyinginmeadow]

I Sleep So I Can See You Part 2

Part 1

Tage list: @wildcatglove13 @coldonez @elizalexwil

Warning: Hints of depression, fighting, healing, angst, happy ending, not proofread

Times are changing, weights are being lifted and finally…your dreams become a reality.

—————

You still come by Emily’s place, putting on your best performance, trying desperately to hide how much being there hurts. How out of place you feel now, watching the boys all happy while you feel like you’re slowly rotting away on the inside a little more every time Paul’s laughter fills your ears. It’s nauseating, how many emotions well up inside of you as such a simple sound. You don’t know if his laughter is the sweetest torture or your salvation, it’s only thing that helps lessen the void in you.

You’ll take whatever he’s willing to give you, greedily, hoarding every ounce of attention he offers willing. Take every inch that feels like miles, the glances, the half smiles, the hands on your elbows as he squeezes past you in the kitchen. You take them all, cataloging them into your mind so that you can call upon the echos of them to ease the aching hole he leaves in you. Constantly you have to remind yourself that this is all you’ll ever get, all you’ll ever know, in an attempt to save yourself from more torment by false hope. But not matter how hard you try, some small part of you will always cling tightly to that hope.

Maybe it’s just the imprint, or maybe it’s you. But you’ve never felt so empty before as you do when you don’t see Paul for weeks. It’s been about a month since the last time you saw him in person.

You’ve changed so much since the night of the rejection, barely eating or laughing, always sleeping because that’s where you could find him. It doesn’t help that Paul has been avoiding you. It’s why you’re in so much agony all the time now. A rejection you could handle, but this is so much worse.

At first you were grateful for the humiliation it saved you from but now…now the wound in your chest rips open just a little more every time he goes out of his way to not look at you, not touch you, not to speak to you. You wish so deeply that you had just kept your mouth shut that night. Having Paul as a friend was infinitely better then whatever it is that you are to him now. Better to have that inch of his affection then almost none.

It’s as you’re just some fly or a dust bunny waiting to be swatted away and finally be put out of your misery. Like Paul can’t even stand your presence anymore, like the very existence of you fills him with guilt. And when he does look at you…it’s like he pities you.

Poor little Y/N, hung up on someone who will never want them.

“You okay?” Emily’s voice cuts through your train of thoughts. You flush as the realization that you’ve just been sitting there, staring off into space instead of helping her cook. The woman is watching you very intently, worry had an evident presence upon her face and it fills her eyes as her brows frown.

“Yeah…yeah I’m good.” You say clearing your throat and forcing out the most convincing laugh you can manage. “Sorry, I was daydreaming.” Shaking your head at you put your focus back in the task before you, continuing to chop up carrots.

You feel Emily’s watchful gaze on you, she knows you’re full of shit and you know she’s fully aware of it. “Have you been taking care of yourself?” Emily’s voice cuts through the silence, and you feel her eyes boring into the side of your skull. “You don’t look like your usual self Y/N. You haven’t for weeks.” She puts a hand on your shoulder as she turns your face to look at her. You don’t meet her eyes. “Y/N what’s going on?”

You huff out a breath, and attempt to shrug her off. “Nothing, I’m fine…just a little tired that’s all.” You don’t look at Emily as you speak, partly from shame and partly out of guilt for even attempting to lie to her. One big factor about Emily is that she can call bullshit from a mile away.

“It’s about Paul…isn’t it.” Her tone is soft, and she rubs your back as your body tense at his very name. She’s not asking, she’s stating it, she knows it has everything to do with him.

“I don’t want to talk about it..” You mumble out and swallow back the burning sensation in the back of your throat, your feel your mouth beginning to water as the need to cry floods your body. “Y/N, you can-“I said I don’t want to talk about it Emily!” You snap at her, slamming the knife in your hand down and finally looking Emily in the eyes. You don’t like snapping at her, it’s something you’d never usually do but like she said…you haven’t been yourself in weeks.

Meeting her eyes is what finally breaks the dam

“Oh honey.” Emily voice is soft and gentle as she pulls you in for a hug. You cry softly, and as quietly as you can possibly manage.

A month of isolation, of sleeping for hours on end and sometimes…sometimes wishing you’d never wake up. Wishing you could keep dreaming and never have to face the loneliness and pain that has become your very existence. And it’s not all Paul’s fault, you’ve been doing it to yourself.

Not wanting to be around people because you had this deep rooted fear that everyone around you knew how broken you felt. A fear that they pitied you for it. You began to just want to be alone, preferring your own company instead of others’. For no apparent reason at all, you just wanted to sleep and keep sleeping.

It all comes out as Emily holds you, once you’ve stopped crying…you feel lighter. That hole in your chest feels a little more smaller and more bearable.

———

Eventually, you come to the conclusion that being around people you care about actually helps. They bring you joy and comfort, they make your face light up and joy fill your heart.

Of course, theres still that void in your being but it begins to shrink the more you spend time with friends and family.

You start to notice that Paul is almost hovering around you, keeping a distance but always watching you. Like a hawk, it’s confusing to say the least. If anyone even slightly flirts with you or even just speak to you, he’s chasing them off. Glaring at them, pulling them to the side to threaten them.

It’s pissing you off.

———

Somehow, a friend of yours manages to convince you to go to a party with them. Some random dude from Highschool decided to throw a ‘rager’.

So there you are, trying to have fun with a friend of yours, till some asshole starts harassing. Out of all the people in this party, this slimy guy who looks like he chews tobacco and spits it wherever the hell he wants, decided to hassle you about dancing with him. At first, you tried to politely say no. But he wouldn’t let it go. Then you told him to fuck off and he started putting his hands on you.

Before you can give this asshole a piece of you mind, Paul’s comes in our of fucking nowhere liek a fright train and shoves the guy hard.

“They told you to back the fuck off!” Paul shouts at said random asshole. He pushed this dude hard enough for him to send him flying to the ground and causing enough of a ruckus to draw the attention of ever single individual in this living room.

“What the fuck Paul?!!” You shout at him, pushing Paul’s chest as hard as you can, and he actually stumbles backwards.

“He had no right-” Paul’s defense floods your nerves with white hot anger, as he steps towards you pointing at the man on the ground “And you do?!” You hiss out in pure, uncanny rage, cutting him off completely.

“I don’t need your fucking help Paul!” Your face is contorted into complete and utter, seething anger as you stare him down. Daring him to even so much as utter one of his witty OG cocky comebacks.

But Paul…Paul backs down, like a wounded puppy of a man. He looks down as he mutters out an uncharacteristically quiet and timid okay. And he leaves, he just walks out of the party after making a bigger fucking show. Completely unlike him.

It’s pisses you off even more and you storm right after him.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” You shout after Paul as he continues walking to his truck. “Paul!!!” You yell his name and he doesn’t turn around, he just keeps storming away.

You begin to run just to catch up to him. When you do finally reach Paul he’s about to open his truck door beofre you jerk his shoulder back hard enough to get him to turn around and face you. He gets up in your face, heavy breaths and nostrils flaring. Paul looks like he’s about to phase on the spot, but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t even speak to you as he gaze burns onto your face. Paul looks as intimidating as ever, but you stand your ground.

“Why are you doing this to me?” You deflate as you speak, worn out from the whiplash of Paul’s mannerisms these past couple of months. Paul doesn’t answer you, instead hus eyes widen at your question and then he just looks away from you. Paul looks as tired and exhausted as you have felt for weeks.

“Paul!” You hiss, his silent deflection of your questioning stoking up the embers of your white hot rage. You feel yourself heat up with simmering resentment as Paul looks at. “Why am I doing this to you!” Paul all but growls out, his hot headed nature finally making an entrance.

“You’re the one who’s been fucking tormenting me.” You frown at him as he shoves his face closer to your own, it only makes you more frustrated with him. The way he’s turning this all around onto you, as if he hasn’t been haunting your every waking moment.

“Oh fuck you Lahote!” You’re seething now, and get right in his face back. But Paul doesn’t so much as backpedal at your anger. “You can’t just-just act like this fucking claim that you have on me means anything to you!” Your voice cracks, and you hate it, hate that now your anger is twisting into desperation. You look away from him, and shrink into yourself.

“I know that you don’t feel the same way I do Paul!” You feel your throat burn as you speak. “You make that painfully clear all of the time. You’re the one who created this divide between us.” You glance at him, and he’s expression is pain and guilt. You look away, and pray for the ground to swallow you whole as shame, white hot and bitter, flows through your very bones. All you ever do is make things worse for Paul.

“I can’t stand the look of pity you give me all of the time Paul.” Your voice cracks. “I know I’m pathetic-“Y/N” Paul’s voice is faint and pleading as he moves towards you. “You’re not-“Oh save it!” You hiss, cutting Paul off and pushing him away from you.

“You look so ashamed of me! All the time Paul. We’re not even friends anymore so quit pretending like you actually give a shit!” Paul’s body shakes as you speak, but not out of the rage he usually feels. He hates himself, Paul has always been too much. Too arrogant, too hothead, too rash too aggressive too-You deserve something better than his mess.

He’s tried pushing you away, tried to make it easier for you to leave him. But you stay, you make him want to be better. Make him want to learn how to be better, not for the reasons he’s always had for himself. But because, for some insane reason he can’t wrap his head around, you like him for how he is now.

He can’t stand there and listen to you talk about yourself like that. Being this close to you after so long, only to see just how much damage he has done.

Paul surges forward and takes your face into his hands and he presses his lips against yours. Cutting you off and the force of the kiss has you back peddling into someone else’s vehicle. And Paul pins you there till you shove him off of you. You stare at him, shocked, and still so fucking pissed. He comes here, makes an ass of himself after weeks of keeping a distance from you.

And then he just kisses you…as if that’s going to change anything. Like it’ll cover up the fact that you have spent weeks trying to convince yourself that you’ll never belong with him, that he’ll never be yours. You’re about to keep yelling at him, but there’s a look in his eyes. Desperate…raw and pathetic, pleading. Paul has never looked at you like that before, so raw and beautiful. Your whole body heats as your breath catches at the sight of Paul’s state.

Paul tills his head to the side and breaths out hard, head shaking slightly as he shifts on his feet and his eyes scream with his silent plea. Don’t do this, just stop, I’m so tired of all of this.

You lunch yourself at Paul, wrapping your arms around his neck as you smash your lips against his. Paul grunts at the impact, as he stumbles back and his body hits his truck. But Paul springs into action almost instantaneously. Gripping your waist and tangling one of his hands into your hair, as he kisses you back with an electric and overwhelming force of emotions that flood your nervous system and warms your body. It’s heated, messy, desperate, all hands and tongue. Lungs burnings and hearts racing.

“You’re a fucking asshole.” You mange to hiss out between kisses. “I know.” Paul breaths out hard as you move to kiss his jaw. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.” That makes you freeze.

You back away enough to look him in the eyes, Paul looks so mournful. “I never ment to make you feel unwanted…I just-I” Paul huffs out in frustration as he looks for the right words. You wait there, patiently, as he thinks.

“I don’t know what I was thinking.” Paul says softly, laughing in a self deprecating manner. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

It all peices together in your head. Paul has talked to you about how much his anger scares him. Sam lost control and hurt Emily. Sam, a man Paul basically idolizes, a man Paul looks to for guidance on everything. Paul sees Sam as a better man than him, someone to inspire to be like.

“Paul.” You says softly and he looks down in shame, so you lean your forehead on his, moving your hands to cradle his face. “You are so much more than your anger.” You whisper out softly and Paul breathes out softly before he speaks.

“You’re so important to me…if I ever did anything like what Sam did to Emily-if I ever hurt you like that…I don’t think I could live with myself.” Paul’s voice shakes and he moves to hold you close. Paul hugs your tightly, warm and lovingly.

“You won’t.” You say softly and beofre Paul can disagree, you continue. “I know you won’t Paul.”

He lets himself believe you, so he hold onto you. The both of you sit there for a long while, breathing in each other’s scent, basking in each other’s warmth. The feeling of finally getting to have this kind of intimacy.

For a moment, you’re afraid this is all some dream. But the feeling of Paul’s presence, the sounds of his heartbeat and his breathing. Those are things much too sweet and beautiful for your mind to conger up.

———

Paul drives you home, and the two of you end up sleeping in the same bed. His smell fills your nose and sticks to your clothes, to your bedding. Arms warm and comforting, breaths hot and soft against the back of your neck as his chest presses against your back.

You fight of sleep for as long as you can manage, wanting to soak in this moment. For the first time in a long time, you finally have a reason to stay awake again.

—————

SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG

I really hope yall enjoyed it and that part 2 lived up to your expectations.

As always thank you for reading and feel free to request something that you’d like for me to write.

Love ya🫶