choberiba

[choberiba]

Crystal clear.

If I didn’t know anything about Sailor Moon, I would totally understand after reading this excellent explanation.

[choberiba]

Fandom: Sailor Moon

“every were i looked i seemed to see nephrite and i don’t mean like apparisons or ghost but attuly him with a black top on his hair naped back at the neck and were he been hurt patched up with some balky bandaie”

[choberiba]

In this fic, Serena reveals that she is actually a super-genius and never loved Darien, and was insanely happy whenever he died.

They all want me married to that rose wielding buffoon. If you haven't guessed by now this is Serena Tsukino, and I want my life to be different. Look what happened when I was forced into nearly marrying him during the Silver Millennium, Beryl destroyed everything, which I didn't want him anyhow, she could have had him back. I cheered internally when Beryl caught him, I damn near danced for joy when I sensed Galaxia kill him, and yes, I knew he was dead, I played dumb for my scouts.

She also has one hell of a potty mouth!

I hated [Endymion] in my former life, I had already fallen for someone else and my bitch mother had him killed off to make room for me to get married to Endymion, which would have never happened anyhow, I'd've killed myself first.

Also, apparently mean ol' Darien is the direct cause of her clumsiness because of gravity.

I use up so much power and have so much that I need food energy almost constantly in order to be able to function, all those bad grades are just for show. I'm a genius, I just act normal in order to protect those I care about the most. Apparently no one can see through my act. I know for damn sure that Darien is the one that has been the cause of my clumsiness, I'll admit Earth's gravity gives me a little bit of a problem, but not to the extent it's been made out to be.

This is not elaborated on.

Eventually we are left to assume the scene has moved, with absolutely no transition, from Serena's internal fourth-wall-breaking monologue of her inner torment to hanging with the gang. And Darien.

I deftly sidestep Darien and ignore him until I finally snap after he pesters me with wanting to know why I was ignoring him and why I didn't klutz out, " You know what, Darien, I've had it, this relationship is over! You treat me like a possession and not a person, you've never once asked my opinion on anything, you never take me seriously, and I just can't stand you! "

If you think this is a little out of character, wait until you see Darien's response!

The girls stare at me stunned while Darien's face turns red, " You little bitch, you think I'm going to let you walk away from me! "

I stare back at him hard, " Take your best shot, Endymion. I could easily kick your ass, I just elect not to. "

His dark blue eyes gaze into mine coldly, " Like hell you can, whore. "

Remember how she was in love with 'someone else' in the Silver Millennium, before her total bitch mother Queen Serenity killed him off?

That was Ryo Sanada. From Ronin Warriors.

Darien went flying before I could do anything, " Thanks for that, Rowen, so does this mean the others are close by? " I say.

The blue haired male teen grins, " Yeah, not far, I heard about the commotion first and when I heard tha descriptions of those involved I knew I 'ad ta check dis out f'ah myself. "

After Serena was saved by Rowen, a man who only just remembered he had an accent, she states a few facts -

" Needed him to save the Earth. Hey, I just kicked him to the curb, but he's not staying there, that's his hang up, not mine. " I state.

" Darien, allow me to introduce you to Ryo Sanada, Warrior of Wildfire, wielder of the Inferno Armor, and most importantly the rightful heir to the Terran throne and I've been dating him the entire time, we both knew I had to play the bitch queen's game just until Galaxia and Chaos were dealt with. " I state.

- and has no issue with being referred to as "a deal" that needed "sexual closing" by her boyfriend, which is entirely different from being called a whore by her other boyfriend;

" Yeah, with me at her side, well, Rena would have ended this a whole helluva a lot sooner. You always were a pansy, Endymion. You had to have Queen Serenity kill me and you still couldn't close the deal with her daughter, could you? " Ryo snaps.

" Get over it, Ryo. "

" Just kill him, please. " I mutter.

I know what you're thinking; this is the climax of the story, right? Awful, terrible boyfriend Darien is going to be horribly tortured by Ryo and some Shinigami, which is a totally rational response that clearly does not reflect any sort of internal issues of the author. That must be the end of this wish fulfillment.

PLOT TWIST:

I blink, " Oh, my half-brother is going to love you, Ryo. He's always wanted to torture Endy here. "

" Half-brother? " Darien asks.

" Yeah, Prince Duo of Pluto, my half-brother through our father, Hades, Lord of the Underworld. " I state firmly, my eyes flashing purple for a second.

Oh Serena! I mean, Rena! You are such a strikingly cool and angsty character! This was definitely proportional retribution and makes you really awesome and badass rather than absolutely terrifying.

At least someone here's having a good day.

At least I'd kicked the worthless ass to the curb, he was going to be Sekmet's lab rat and then I could help Shini torture him, all in all this had been a good day.

[choberiba]

what I hope is a sick burn

Fandom: Sailor Moon

“You should have embalmed Minako, so you could be practicing your necrophilia.”

[choberiba]

Look what I found in my basement! Allow me to add some excerpts from these “novels”.

…..

Nephlite stood on the lawn below.

“Master!” Princess Diamond held up her box and grinned crazily. “I have the crystal! I’ll drop it to you!”

Nephlite smiled. “Good girl,” he said, raising his hands. “I’ll catch it.”

…..

“Whatever that crystal is,” she declared as her headband glowed gold, “you can bet your stupid purple face that you won’t get it!”

…..

Seeing the princess’ hidden beauty, Serena couldn’t help but wonder if Melvin was a hottie beneath his giant glasses.

…..

Darien unfolded the letter and quickly read it. A shadow settled over his face as he read the name at the bottom.

“‘Tuxedo Mask.’”

“I know. Corny, huh?” Andrew laughed. “I wonder what kind of an idiot came up with a name like that. It sounds like some crazy super-hero in a romance novel.”

[choberiba]

An excerpt from Smile Books’ Sailor Moon #8 - Diamond’s Not Forever

Darien’s lips curled into a small smile.

“Good thinking, Andrew,” he drawled. “I guess your charming philosophy of giving as much love as possible actualyy comes in handy every once and a while.”

Andrew frowned. “Just because you’re not a people person doesn’t mean you have to make fun of me.”

“Being your best friend gives me that right.”

“Don’t start with me, Darien.”

“Andrew, it’s just how I show you I care.”

“A simple ‘I care’ would do.”

“I couldn’t say that. I’m not a people person, remember?”

[choberiba]

jane's journey into the world of bad sailor moon fanfic

Raye: "I am happy for you. Darien I ask you to love and take care of her."

Darien: "I already have."

Raye: "What did Darien mean eariler about he has already taken care of you?"

Serenity: "Last night he took off my clothes."

Raye: "Did he take off your panties and bra too?"

Serenity: "Yes."

Raye: "Did he have sex with you?"

Serenity: "Yes."

Raye: "Did it feel good?"

Serenity: "Yes it did."

[choberiba]

They walked up behind and watched, this guy (Let it be known, people tend to think Amara is a dude so ... deal with it stupids and people who are smart ... good for you. *claps for smart people*.) When "he" finished he turned around.

"Hello ladies," 'he' said with a small smile. "Want to try it?"

"I will!" Serena said excitedly, and sat in the chair opposite. (You all know how this ends, unless you came here to see what sailor moon is all about in that case you are retarted or mentally challanged. Take your pick.)

Brackets are the original author's notes. I- what?

[choberiba]

Rini was just entering the room where the scouts where sleeping after rini put sleeping postion in there tea. Rini was about to look for the sliver crystal, but what she didn't know was that serena didn't drink the tea and was waiting for her serena then grabbed rini from behind and picked her up for will you know. "guess what? I didn't drink the tea". Serena said. Rini then turned her head in shock. "sneaking that sleeping postion in the tea, you need to be spanked". Serena said and thenwith 1 swat spanked rini's buttom. Rini twiched in shock. "now tell me where your from and who you are, and why you are after the sliver crystal?" serena said. Serena slap rini's poor buttom again which made tears to start to from in rini's eyes. After a few seconds, there was no response from rini, and so serena slapped rini's buttom again, which made rini start to cry her eyes out. "even if you do cry I wont forgive" serena said and once again slapped rini's again which made rini cry even more. As the moon symbol began to appear on rini's forehead, luna-p which rini dropped when serena grabbed her, was watching what was happening to rini and decided to use its powers to stop rini's moon symbol from activating without either serena nor rini noticing what was happening. The reason luna-p did this was because after seeing what rini had done, realized rini needed to be tot a lession. After rini's moon beam was stop serena countinued to spank rini and gave her 6 more swats on her poor poor buttom.

[choberiba]

Ami was one of those girls who needed to study her ass off to get to where she was, whereas [my OC is] just genuinely smart.

Nope

[choberiba]

Should we avoid submitting fics which are known for creating drama? There's a couple I would like to submit, but the authors have a tendency to complain when their work is critiqued/snarked, and their styles are fairly recognizable. I have a feeling they would know if their work ended up on here even if I removed all the identifying information. As bad as I think their fics are, I’d like to avoid starting a fight.

I am more than prepared to handle a fight, if the fic is truly THAT bad. Submit it and see; if it's just mediocre or if it's not bad enough to warrant ALL THE DRAMA, I just won't publish it. But if it is, s'long as all the names and stuff are removed, I got your back.

[choberiba]

Evil is approaching fast. Can the Scouts defeat the evil or will the evil destory them?

I would not hesitate at all to call the things on this blog "destories", and yes, they are definitely evil.

[choberiba]

Stalking is romantic! Mamoru is an Idiot

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/308211/1/Dont_be_Afraid_to_Love

(In my defense, I was fifteen when I wrote this wreck.)

I think my favourite part of this is that the guy who is violent is called "Violent".

Thankyou for submitting your own fic! Here's your +1 Internets:

[choberiba]

Original character names have been changed. This is only an excerpt and not the full fanfiction. The following is NSFW.

Artemis was too perturbated to notice the 6 cats that were hcasing him. "Damn! i hate being such a sexy cat!!" Then a loud MEOW filled the air Artemis turned his back, and saw the other cats him "GET FUCK OFF MY BACK!YOU BASTARDS, I'M IN A REALLY BAD MOOD TODAY!"he said as he prepared his claws and teeth to fight, he knew that he'll lost, but he couldn't just let those cats kick his butt without a fight. The fight was rough, those cats began ripping him off, cutting him in the stomach, his arm, his leg, his back and his ear. (OUCH!) Joey was aruond that fight, returning from a baseball game, with his bat on the shoulder. Artemis was already badly wounded, and bleeding to death. Joey passed by the alley were Artemis was. Joey gasped as he instantly recognized Artemis, he took his bat and ran to help him, he hitted 3 cats simultaneusly with it. BOOMSHACALAKA! blood spurted out from the craneum of the other cats,he actually broke the head of the one that wounded Artemis! The cats laid around dead, as Joey grabbed Artemis, and huged him tightly, while covering him with his shirt, Artemis saw Joey and he said weakly "W...Who are you?" then every thing went black...Joey, with tears in his eyes, said to Artemis "Don't worry my dear Artemis, you'll be allright". Artemis woke up to the sound of a door closing.Joey saw this and said crying "Artemis!!Thank god you're alive!!" Artemis tought "How does he know my name?" Artemis just meowed Joey hearing this said "Oh Artemis, you don't have to pretend with me. It's all right you can talk". "Who are you?"Artemis asked still sour from the fight. Joey took a deep breath...and said "Artemis, i'm that guy who sent you that letter". Artemis gasped "WHAT?!? So you're the one!". Joeylooked a little scared and said "Sorry Artemis, i didn't meant to scare you. But how could i said my feelings to you in person?" Artemis coughed "hmmmm...you may have a point there" Joey looked him straight in the eyes and said "Artemis,i....i....love you. ever since i saw you, i knew it was our destiny to be together" Artemis got a little embarrased and said "I some how, feel the same for you Joey, but doesn't it matter that you're a human and i'm a cat? Joey blushed and said"Well Artemis, i have a little secret you know...." Artemis looked him with an evilly smile "Hmmm. What secret?" Joey took another deep breath and said "Artemis..i'm an HERMAPHRODITE" Artemis went wide eyed "NO KIDDING?". Joey said "No" as he started to undress, Artemis was paralized, as he looked Joey's dick, and below that his pussy, Artemis had a goofy smile on his face. Joey gasped "Uh? Oh you PERVERT!!" and slapped him silly "MEOWUCH!!". "Oops!sorry Artemis, how could i stay mad at you?" he then said "Now look Artemis, your wounds will get infected if i don't clean them,ok?" Artemis happily said "OK". And so Joey turned the shower on, Artemis went inside with Joey,and cleaned his soft fur, Artemis enjoyed Joey's tact, rubbing his fur with a desinfectant soap,while purring softly, he didn't like baths very much, but this was with his lover, so how could he resist a bath with his true love? Then, they laid in the bed all stretched out, with Artemis's wounds now closed. Artemis broke the silence saying "Soooo" Joey replied "Soo hat?" Artemis said evily "Are you still a virgin?" Joey responded a little embarrased "Why yes, in fact i have been saved myself for you...my love" Joey said, as he hugged Artemis and kissed in his lips, Artemis eventually opened his mouth letting Joey's tounge to play with his. Joey then went south, caressing all of Artemis's parts along the way with his tounge. He didn't care for his fur.And reached his little dick,stroking it with his fingers, and licking it as if it was a clit.

[choberiba]

Can we submit recs to our own bad fics? I can't pick out just one part to submit.

If you mean fics you wrote yourself then you certainly can. In that case it wouldn't have to be submitted leaving the author anonymous so you could just go ahead and submit it as a link.

[choberiba]

Welcome to CHOBERIBA!

Please take the time to look over our Submission Guidelines; then go ahead and submit! (Brownie points if you're brave enough to submit some of your own old fics. C'mon, we've all got them stashed away somewhere.)

[choberiba]

Character names have been changed.

when she was 5 years old she was born on the very last day of december so her parents dient know what to name her they started of with autum untill her mom divorced her father,her father dident know what to name her so he figured if he sent her to school people would give him ideas and they did on her first day of kindergarden she met sailor moon and her friends she became a good meber of there group but there was no more planets for her to be named so they just called her rainbowbutt because o the way she dressed always in black.............. rainbowbutt continued to be the best of friends with sailor moon and her friends untill one day at school she hade gotten the message that her father hade died by a severe heart attack this happend right after rainbowbutt turned 14 b this time her hair was long and pretty much like sailor moons but hers was died black she then cut her hair as a sign of respect that her father would go to heaven (and he did)rainbowbutt became emo and started to carry a large pick axe around her in her 18 year old days she did this because hse did not want any one to find out that she was adopted for her sake in life........ then one day when she finally told sailor moon what was wrong she became herself again when her hair hade grown back to a long position again.......... rainbowbutt then went to collage with a proper sailors outfit alot of guys hade fallen in love with her but she took no chance in starting a relastionship with any of them at all she just walked the woods with her dearest friends saving people in the universe and letting her hair turn grey its rightful color to become sailor rainbowbutt..........