chronicallystarbound

[chronicallystarbound]

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[chronicallystarbound]

what is it with able bodied people saying “get well soon” after you say that you’re chronically ill?? like? i am not gonna? and i once literally responded with “i’m not gonna, it’s chronic, as in permanent.” and they went like “oh well, hope you get better!” like bro 💀

[chronicallystarbound]

me: oh! i think i feel ok today!

me: [sits up]

me: oh. never mind

[chronicallystarbound]

having chronic pain means going “sorry, i have to cancel/cant help you with something, my chronic pain is flaring up” and getting treated like a huge inconvenience and it’s your fault you have it

[chronicallystarbound]

Venting fr

involuntary rotting fr, thats summing up my experience with chronic pain. The song and dance of recovery and rest feeling good and then expending all my energy to feel normal when i feel slightly better. The government cant help me ,doctors cant help me ,family cant help me and i cant help me. Its a pit of helplessness and yet i wonder why im depressed. 21 yrs old and my life has been taken from me because i won the genetic lottery of disease and illness. Ill never forget the looks of peoples faces at 15 walking into a rheumatologists appointment its a small office you could hear others so easy its impossible to not ear hustle if unless you have earphones on. I say my name & birthday and sit down waiting for my doctor. I can feel the stares. I lived in a small town so i knew half the people in the office i knew regardless of who i was there for they would talk. But ive moved across the country i live in the city in hopes of change yet the same things happens people stare and act like i cant see them bc they look away the moment i glance their direction. Is it really such a shock to see a young person suffering from arthritis? since when was this condition only for old people? if they think thats bad they should see the rest of my chart! I rant about my illness as im currently going thru a flare it always makes me reminisce even of a few days ago when i was more mobile then i am now. Oh how id give up anything to have a healthy body or move like that again i feel so much shame and embarrassment from me not being able to take care of myself at such a young age. I wish i wasn’t like this i wish i could experience the youth i was promised. I wish i could try give my body the rest it needs but I live in a world that doesn't allow it. I must always be better. Try harder. Be enough even if my body says it cant. It was never up to it in the first place. And I continually fight for that

I must just thug out the pain fr even if it disables me like it has on days like today. No medicine to take that makes it all manageable I take my medication and yet why on earth wont it work like it should. Do doctors know what they are doing? Should i even be alive? Why must i go thru all this pain seriously all because of genetics? I cant work& i feel guilty bc i feel like a leech. No financial independence, feeling in debt to someone willing to put up with me. Healing sounds like a fairytale bc it feels i sleep on glass shards

[chronicallystarbound]