cinnamon-notes - Tumblr blog

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I was walking in the rain all over my town. Downtown. To the spring festival. The tortured poets department playing through my headphones. SUDDENLY THE MARCHING BAND APPROACHES WHILE PLAYING TAKE ON ME BY AHA AND I DO NOT TAKE MY HEADPHONES OFF SO I KEEO WALKING IN THE RAIN LISTENING TO BOTH TTPD AND TAKE ON ME PLAYED BY A MARCHING BAND !!!!!! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT MY PERSONALITY IS LIKE!!!!!!!!!!

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fun fact: the Taylor Doose of my town has the town coat of arms tattooed on his biceps :) he's Taylor Doose on acids

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Town's Spring Festival day today. It's a whole rainstorm out there. It always is on Spring Festival day, every damn year. Am I weird for finding comfort in it?

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things i need in my apt:

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art i need in my apt:

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my dream house has a record player liquor cabinet by the way

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oh cinnamon, the autistic that you are! (i was exposed to sudden, high-pitched waves of noise at work and i stimmed like crazy, and covered my ears and broke what i was holding because i dropped it because my triggered hearing became my brain's only priority)

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[cinnamon's diary, april 27th]: mom, you've given me everything i need

Despite having lived alone and far away from my hometown for a year now, I've just had this exact moment with my mom today, which really weirded me out.

Gilmore girls has always been my show in a way that I cannot explain and capture accurately enough. Through all the years I've watched and rewatched it, I'd find in it many anecdotes from my life, as well as the people in it. Until now, never have I had a moment like that, and I was hoping it would've never come. But it did, eventually. And it was weird. And it was scary. And it was, as Lorelai said, "too soon".

Lorelai embodies many people who aren't just my mom. She is some of what my mom is, as well as what my first caregiver was, as well as how my ex looks like, as well as her mother's ADHD and life freedom, as well as the woman I am looking forward to being and am actually slowly becoming. However, today, Lorelai was 100% the representation of my mom.

My mom had come to visit me for a few days, and I dropped her at the airport earlier today. As I was driving her, she gave me the "it's too soon" speech, followed by the "you could never disappoint me, ever" speech, which both got me teary and particularly emotional before I gave my "you've given me everything I need" speech.

And yeah I've been on my own for already one year; yet, I can see why she felt like now was the time for the speech. And yeah I've been on my own for just one year; yet, I can see why she felt like now was the time for the speech.

I'm 20 but I'm settling down. And it's hard to settle down when you grew up in a Stars Hollow with the mindset of Hartford. And it's yet so natural to feel Rachel's need for escapism, as well as Lorelai's agony for that mindset. And it becomes both challenging and exciting to settle down so young and so far.

Today I've realized I've just walked into a new phase of my life, a phase of solitude to turn into independence, a phase of inexperience to turn into self-reliance, a phase of experiments to turn into roots, a phase of "nothing I'm doing right now has to be final", a phase of "everything I'm doing right now could be final". And I just love it. As someone who feels trapped by forever's, as someone who's terrified at the idea of becoming a tree that's forever rooted in the same place, yet, as someone who also feels trapped by uncertainties, as someone who's terrified at the idea of never feeling like I belong, I'm loving this not-too-temporary-not-too-final phase of mine.

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i would very much like to be taylors graphic designer

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sometimes all i need is to touch grass, other times all i need is to touch pvssy. i have touched plenty of grass already, though.

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It’s funny that we have “chick-lit” but no “dude-lit”. Women read more fiction. Literature written by men with male protagonists will still be read more by women than men. So why would we have to appoint a certain genre as “chick-lit”? It’s not female readers who struggle to find books they enjoy (and relate to) to an extent of needing a specific genre to cater to them, even if it’s in name only lol.

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this post is for cutie cutie olive and cutie cutie olive only: IM GOING TO THE MOVIES TOMORROW SO PREPARE YOURSELF TO FEAR OUR CHAT CUZ I WILL PICTURES-BOMB YOU!!!! WITH ALL THOSE PICS I PROMISED YOU!!!!! OF MY LITTLE TOWN'S SINGLE-SCREEN MOVIE THEATER!!!!!!!!!! @brave-olive

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dkdkjsksjdjdjen 😭 😭

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We ask people what they do, and they'll tell us about their "8 am - 8 pm" selves. We ask people who they are, and they'll tell us about their "8 pm - 8 am" selves. It turns out to be a shame for a heart to unfold itself in the daytime. Some things are only for the moon to see.

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i was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic

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you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me