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I think jam on toast is the most beautiful looking food it’s like jewels on bread

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The power of beads and audacity, what song should I do next? I’m thinking Alive Forever

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Madhel Headcannons Pt. II:

Somehow Madeline is the better driver. Helen has a lead foot, a speed demon in disguise. To be clear, they are both TERRIBLE drivers

Madeline fake faints at any given moment (“it’s acting practice!” “Mad this is the library”) and Helen *attempts* to catch her…there have been plenty of accidents

Staring contests. LONG staring contests, they don’t need to blink.

When Madeline wins an award it’s like there’s a new addition in the household. “Mad where did my bedside lamp go,” “let’s focus on my Tony.”

The Barbie movie WRECKED Madeline. Something about seeing a perfect blonde doll choosing to age and be human realllly got to her. Helen wasn’t peachy keen either, but Mad? Mad was inconsolable, though maybe that was because she didn’t book the part either

In their immortality, they’ve both gone through many hobbies and crafts. Some have been more successful than others. Madeline is actually a decent oil painter and Helen crotchets at the speed of light.

Helen is the queen of night owls. Three a.m., a fresh cuppa, and her laptop and it’s a GO

They (mostly Madeline) are constantly researching and browsing new spray paints like a makeup catalogue. “This one is such wonderful rouge with a lovely eggshell finish!”

Madeline owns ZERO denim

Reverse psychology via Helen if anything has to get done ever

You better believe Madeline’s vanity wins over her pride, as in she still has her Razzie awards (though they are buried in the depths of her closet)

Whenever she gets new damage, Madeline insists Helen needs to kiss it and make it better, “Mad you can’t feel anything you’re dead - and you know it’s not gonna heal, there is no making it better” “Just give me the attention Hel”

“Helen, Hel, Helen, Helen, Helly, Helen, Hel’s Bells, Helen, Helen, Hel-“ “What Mad?!” “Hi” (this happens several times a day)

Madeline had a degree in hogging the covers, not because she can even get cold, but she likes the fluffiness

Their coffee orders are as follows: Madeline with a iced strawberry frappe with extra whipped cream. Helen with black tea no sugar cream or a chai latte with oat milk

Speaking off, Helen? Yearns for dairy. So so so should not have dairy.

After everything that…happened Madeline has a healthy fear of staircases and lightning (it has spread to bad omens) and Helen has a…distaste for umbrellas.

Madeline. Pouting. Need I say more?

Back to driving, Madeline was borne to be a passenger princess, forced to be the primary driver. After Helen hit her 70th curb and dented Mad’s car…her chauffeuring days are over.

It’s tradition that after they visit their graves, they have a “memorial meal” and yap about old times

Remember Helens little cutie beret (dumb hat according to Mad)?? There’s a collection of little dumb hats, including a velvet cloche one Mad had a custom made for her

Cats. A long haired Persian, a sphinx that looks like raw chicken (both picked out by Mad) and a little black cat Helen found in a dumpster, chiding Mads initial distaste with, “you two should get along, similar homes and all”

The consistent back and forth of a kiss followed by “Hel you smudged my paint!!” “Whoopsie”

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The whole ponderance of mortality and gaining meaning in the limited time spent living - compounded by watch Madeline and Helen quite literally and figuratively destroy themselves and their lives - SHOULD mean if offered (and freely given), I would refuse the potion. Unfortunately I would chug a lug, not because I’m afraid of aging, but moreso I want immortality (and could make corpse chic work). So, REMOVING the money factor…

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Ah yes, my fav musical Death Becomes Her or as someone just referred to it: Death Begets Her

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Random Madhel headcannons:

Madeline is the CEO of tiny bags that Mary Poppins style hold SO much crap. That missing sock? Probs in there

After Madeline was called a “dying star” by Viola Van Horn (“it was just a metaphor Mad” “I’m not some washed up has been! I’m a TWO time Oscar nominee!!!”) Helen now calls her “my brightest star” or “my vibrant star”

Madeline cannot physically keep her hands to herself with Helen. Holding hands, cuddling, or just touching. Grabbing her arm at every nearest convenience for emotional support

Helen wears a locket with a picture of them (gifted by Mad obviously)

Madeline has Polaroids of their adventures taped along the edges of her vanity mirror

They alternate who is the big and little spoon - but Helen LOVES being little spoon (she won’t admit it)

Helen helps Mad sort through fanmail (and is SHOCKED to start receiving some herself…and wait is that…ship art?!?! How did it end up on the fridge??!! “MADELINE ASHTON”)

Remember the cute nicknames? Well when there’s an argument it turns into “Hel’s Bells!!” Or “Mad-ness!” and many other assorted stupid puns

Helen QUEEN of eye rolls

Madeline is a HUGE pool fan. Not a great thing considering the paint, but some waterproof sealant and she’s more or less okay. Lounging, swimming, pestering Helen to watch her newest dive

Helen may or may not have ran one of the top stan turned hater accounts for Madeline Ashton at one point (like the fecking navy)

Does Helen technically need glasses anymore? No. Does she still occasionally wear them because Mad asked her to? Yes.

Matching. Halloween. Costumes.

Despite not being a superstar like Madeline, Helen has a beautiful singing voice that she usually reserves for home.

Helen “You’re squeezing me - I can’t breathe” Sharp and Madeline “like you need air?” Ashton

Helen wore culottes once and Madeline swore if she wasn’t already dead - that would have killed her

Madeline loves to send Helen videos saying it’s them, “Madeline how do we remotely resemble two crows screaming at each other” “why are we butterflies in this scenario” “Well that one’s red and that one’s blue!!”

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Joining the DBH fandom is like joining a hive of all queen bees or a choir of entirely crows - all divas scream clamoring over their bejeweled trinkets and potions (madhel) alternating between genuine conversations about mortality and selflessness and the stupidity of toxic lesbo besties - and what a wonderful place to be <3

(looking for mutuals or people to yap about the show!!) I’m planning on putting out some art soon!!

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Seeing Helen’s “frumpy” outfit in the beginning, I was like “ah nuts I own that exact fit” DUMB HAT INCLUDED

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The whole reason “death becomes her” is that only when Madeline and Helen drink the potion and technically die do they feel both the ability to start living and begin to reflect on their failings as people. It’s a sad irony that only do they feel free to live once they no longer have the pressure of aging upon them. Even though the truth of the matter is they spent those years in scrutiny and competition, so they were never fully enjoyed. Demise became an inevitable “when” not “if.” Furthermore, after realizing the scope of their choice in death do they finally understand how fractured, flawed, and years of infighting led them to being not great people nor living fulfilling lives. Their external vanity (Madeline especially *cough cough*) did not reflect better talent, morals, nor relationships.

Death becomes her, or them, because that is their rebirth, the catalyst to hopefully change as people for the better and use one another for support and acting selflessly. Only then, when they realize this and find each other, live for each other, do they become truly “becoming” or beautiful.

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The fact that Live to Serve is only like a minute and half long should be a crime because there needs to be about three times more choruses allotted to voguing and posing

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The idea of Madhel art a la Good Luck Babe just hit me like a shovel or a push down the stairs or a shotgun to the gut oh NOOOO IT’S LITERALLY THEM

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Can’t tell if I’m more Helen or Mad or a secret worse third thing (a metamorphorsis of their proverbial chaotic love child who’s both a lil crazy and a diva)

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Death Becomes Her is amazing musical about how industries and society set women against each other in a competition against perceived success and time itself. It’s a ponderance on mortality and the value placed in the fixed act of living and having an end. It opens a question of legacy in one’s career, image, or relationships to loved ones. A study of obsession and perfection that asks: how far, and how healthy, can this take you?

It is also about the toxicest lesbo divas competing for each other’s attention via violence before succumbing to the realization that purgatory is being one another’s eternal craft project. Is this a hot or rot? Both.

And either interpretation is a beautiful thing <3

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I can’t get over the absolute NAUSEA in Helen’s voice when Mad starts excitedly going: “Heyyyy Helen?! I think I’M YOUR person!!” “You like me!!” “I’d like you to stop”

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Pick your fighter:

Megan ‘there’s always been something there’ Hilty:

Or

Jennifer ‘they make each other alive’ Simard:

They both call it a love story and their answers are so similar…they really did talk about it, huh… somebody sedate me

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Despite seeming the near antithesis of passing the Bechdel test, somehow Death Becomes Her managed to be the gayest thing of the Broadway season

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I think about Helen blessing herself via martini many times each day because yeah that’s about right, the holiest thing about her is her stomach