citralekha - Tumblr blog

[citralekha]

Brennan: Palindrome.

Jacob: *SO confident* NASCAR

Brennan: No, wait, I think you mean race car.

*everyone devolving into silent laughter, punctuated by occasional screams*

Jacob: *yelling* I wanna go HOOOOOME!

Brennan: *cry laughing* Are we done?!

🤣🤣🤣 This AP episode is UNHINGED. It's giving Neverafter AP with the Ax body spray vibes

[citralekha]

I am on Exandria’s moon Ruidus.

[citralekha]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[citralekha]

woke up and someone spilled vanilla extract all over my dash, so as punishment you strange little beasties are getting all the VANILLA FACTS i know:

vanilla is the 2nd most expensive spice in the world (2nd to saffron)

which is why more than 99% of what we call "vanilla extract" is actually vanillin (vanilla's dominant flavor compound) and is not extracted from real vanilla.

luckily, even professionals struggle to tell the difference when it comes to things like baked goods. but there is a distinct difference in non-heat treated products like vanilla ice cream. real vanilla has a more complex, individualized flavor profile.

why is vanilla so expensive? because it is a ridiculously delicate & demanding crop. complete primadonna.

vanilla beans come from vanilla orchids. these crazy flowers bloom for A SINGLE DAY and have to be HAND-POLLINATED in a process that is exhausting, delicate, and requires specialist knowledge passed down over generations.

then, if you're lucky, you get vanilla beans.

which then require months of further specialized treatment.

the entire process takes about a year and can go wrong at any stage

vanilla has been cultivated for over 800 years (possibly much longer). the first known cultivators are the Totonac, an indigenous people of Mexico.

the Aztecs used it as a sweetener to balance out the bitter taste of cocoa. it was popular in a drink called xocolatl--the precursor to modern hot chocolate!

it is only pollinated by a very specific orchid bee!!!

which is why no fruit could be grown outside of Mexico until the 1800s

Edmond Albius, born into slavery, invented the pollination method we still use today--launching a global industry when he was just 12 years old.

today, the majority of the world's vanilla is grown in Madagascar

if you want real vanilla, read the labels carefully--it's harder to find than you think!

in conclusion, those tiny black specks you see in fancy vanilla ice cream? those are vanilla bean seeds! itty bitty orchid seeds!!! they are delicious and also a PRISSY BITCH!

(src)

[citralekha]

IT'S MOLLY PETTING HOURS

[citralekha]

The struggle against deep frying donuts

[citralekha]

i will never leave this house

[citralekha]

[citralekha]

I'm having a quarter life crisis...

Sees the expected lifespan of trans women

I'm having a midlife crisis...

[citralekha]

we're running out of time to fuck it we ball....

[citralekha]

What do you mean this isn't a thing?

[A screenshot from AO3 describing the tag Unresolved QueerPlatonic Tension as uncommon.]

Here let me help you out. Unresolved queerplatonic tension is:

Not knowing the difference between a crush and a squish.

Wanting to marry your best friend while not wanting to kiss them.

Wanting to kiss your friend on the cheek, forehead, hands, etc. but not in any way or any place romantic or sexual, and being confused af about it.

Wanting to ask your best friend to be your QPP but not wanting to ruin what you already have/being worried about having to explain what that even is.

Knowing that you and your friend are "more than friends" while also knowing that you are not into them romantically and having no idea what that even means. (And also knowing the phrase "more than friends" is BS because why are we demeaning people's relationships like that?)

[citralekha]

yeet the feels.

original idea HERE

[citralekha]

an ad at the drugstore made me realize that in french, for Autism Spectrum Disorder, we say Troubles du Spectre de l'Autisme, and it sounds so daunting.

We say spectre instead of spectrum. You have a ghost in there 😱

[citralekha]

I am here in Prehevil on the eve of Termina

[citralekha]

Uninserts a coin.

The machine breaks into your home.

[citralekha]

the transition im crying