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lots of times if I tell my boyfriend that I am proud of him for dealing with a situation, or that I'm sorry he's having to deal with a situation, he will say "no it's my own fault." meaning that he feels like he doesn't deserve praise or comfort for dealing with a situation that is his fault. (for example a financial problem caused or exacerbated by him having been too anxious or absentminded to deal with the situation sooner.) and I tell him this and I will tell y'all this, that I don't believe that. I think you are even braver and stronger for taking steps to deal with a mess that is of or partly of your own creation, because you have to cope with guilt and shame on top of the thing itself, and because you're fighting against the same ingrained dysfunction in yourself that caused the mess. that's like the bravest and most constructive thing you can do and you should be proud and I am proud of you.

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imagine finding a girl that looks at you and thinks “thats the one” and she waits and respects your boundaries and falls in love slowly with you the more she knows you. imagine this girl seeing you and lighting up, imagine her bringing you lunch and gifts and being excited when you do the same! just imagine 

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do i fall in love with every pretty girl that talks to me? yes

but do i let that stop me from functioning like a normal human being? also yes

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I have a serious side affect to neck kisses. I fall over from the shock

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what do you mean i can’t just close my eyes and imagine i’m living in a small cottage surrounded by wild flowers with my wife as we make homemade jams together using fresh fruits we picked from our garden?

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I'm just going to emphasize the "beyond" part a wee bit more here.... B/c now in my 50s & still def getting hotter!! And yes, it is SO FUN!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

Proud of you all for getting increasingly hotter as you get deeper into your 20s and 30s and beyond. That’s really cool and brave and so fun.

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Lemme tell you the story of this gun my wife showed me.

At first, I immediatly assumed it belonged to her grandfather who was a lieutenant in the french military. Not a fan of guns and didn't think much of it.

" No it belonged to my great-grandmother!"

She then told me the entire story of badass great grandmother Jeanne, that I need to share here.

Its important to note the time period it takes place in: Right smack in the middle of WWII.

Jeanne was of Jewish heritage but she immediatly realized things were starting to get ugly concerning Jews and took the decision to baptize herself and her children at the last minute so she had paperworks to show Nazi officials to lie about her jewish upbringing. This move saved her life and that of her children.

Some times later, another nazi official was investigating the weird deaths of his collegues in the area, and was suspecting resistance hideouts down the river because thats where they found the bodies So he knocked door to door, and asked if anyone noticed anything, under threats obviously.

Jeanne opened the door and told the Nazi official she didn't notice anything, playing the role of the frightened by everything going on, harmless young lady, living alone after her husband died. The guy immediatly dropped his guard , and Jeanne invited him inside for tea since it was already late and cold out.

The -moment- he stepped inside and his back was to her as he removed his coat. She took out this exact gun out of her dress and shot him point blank in the head.

-She- was the resistance member killing Nazis knocking on her door, dumping their body in the river, so the bodies would travel south to a region well know for resistance soldiers, and making the nazis think it was them killing officials patrolling the area. They -never- suspected her. Being a woman, living alone and "with a fragile constitution".

Absolute badass great grandmother Jeanne was shooting nazis daring to knock on her door with this very gun, avenging a large portion of her family, who didn't make the decision she did and were lost to the war.

Huge respect, Great Grandmother in Law. Huge respect.

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X - the perfect name

Everyone is wrong about Elon Musk being bad at brand naming. "X" is the PERFECT name for Twitter, as everybody divorces it.

Re-naming Twitter so perfectly is literally the only good thing he did with it.

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stopppppp im going to pass away just thinking abt this

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My father was a cop for 30 years, trained and often deployed in "crowd control." Their violence is strategic and intentional. Then it's amplified by the unhinged cops who do lose control. But the fundamental problem is NOT "bad apples". It's the system designed to justify violence against the public. Violent subjugation of the public is the INTENTIONAL STRATEGIC GO-TO of the police, in order to silence dissent under the guise of "law and order and protecting the public". It is literally the ones claiming to protect the public, who are the chief instruments of harm.

Police supporters regularly admit that the police are the bad guys. They just don't care.

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It's not assimilationism to want stuff

There's a bit going around at the moment that's essentially a call-out post for a popular trans girl who has enjoyed such things as hormones, voice training, and bottom surgery.

I myself was criticised for assimilationism recently for objecting to the idea that "binary trans people cannot exist, because we are still viewed as a third "other" by many in society, and our experience is not and never will be completely the same as the cis experience of maleness or femaleness".

In my critics' eyes, I was "clinging to the gender binary" (derogatory), and...

Well, excuse me if I don't let the cis gaze define my gender.

Calling me non-binary would be like reducing an actually non-binary person to whatever binary gender the onlooker thinks is most appropriate. You can see how that's wrong, yes? The inverse is no better for me or other trans people with a binary gender.

I am a woman, and you can strip me of that when you can prise it from my cold dead beautifully nail-polished and oestrogen-enhanced fingers.

Same goes for wanting/getting such things as hormones, voice training, bottom surgery, or other things. If you don't want those things, great, but don't argue against me having them.

Same also goes for not wanting to be called certain slurs. If you want to reclaim certain slurs, great, but don't argue that I am being trans incorrectly if I don't want to.

I don't know how to explain to you that those of us who want these things want them for ourselves. In most cases, we wanted them for a very long time before we got them. We probably had to fight for them. We take joy in having them.

Yes, sometimes I'll do things in a way that helps me avoid getting misgendered, for that reason, because I don't like being misgendered. But also...

If I'm singing in a feminine range in the kitchen, it's not for fear that if my neighbour hears my erstwhile basso profundo singing voice they'll know I'm trans. They already know I'm trans. They don't care and neither do I. But I feel at my best prancing about in my cute apron singing alto-ish with bright resonance and a happy smile. "Trans women can have deep voices / dark resonance" does not mean that trans women are required to have deep voices / dark resonance or else we're being some kind of traitor to transness.

When I take my hormones and am deeply thankful for the difference they make to my body, that's not a snub to trans women with flat chests or male pattern baldness, and the fact that many trans women are happy and content with such does not mean that I therefore must also be happy and content with such if that's my genetic lot. It's not being truscum to have dysphoria.

I'm not queuing up for bottom surgery to win the acceptance of random cis people. I'm looking forward to it because this *gestures down there* does not spark joy for me personally, to put it mildly, and I dearly want it gone. The idea that I should just brush off my dysphoria is a TERF talking point; please be better than that.

Too easily, "you don't have to have xyz to be trans" gets twisted into "no trans person should have xyz".

Let trans people have things!

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btw the biggest lie you will ever be told about being trans is that transitioning will make you ugly. that could not be further from the truth: i never got compliments on my appearance ever, but after i transitioned, began dressing like myself, wore my hair the way i wanted to, and especially started T, i have gotten more compliments than i ever have before in my life. people can tell when you look like yourself, like who you're meant to be. it's beautiful, attractive, and sexy. transition will not make you "ugly". it will make you yourself, and that's inherently beautiful

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Seriously, if I had learned this, like....40 years earlier, I would have been saved all that time of Shame.

oh god....I'm dying here....this is so wonderful and makes me want to just weep at the same time...

i don’t know what other queer folks might need to hear this, but your sexual desire for someone doesn’t contaminate your love for them and it doesn’t mean you don’t respect them or see them as a complete person. and you wouldn’t be better or purer if you could love without wanting them in that way also. queer sexuality is not a contaminant that ruins queer love. 

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i love love <333