not to be edgy but i unironically enjoy some things
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god today i ID’d an old dude buyin booze and he pulled out a fake ID with an elvis pic, then laughed and pulled out a matching one but with curly from three stooges on it, and im like okay please and he finally pulled out his real license and his legal name was steve sinner
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so in horror movies where flat tires stop people from running away…you can still drive with flat tires. it damages the tires and the wheels, and it’s not safe at high speeds, but you can still drive away from a raving serial killer. pro tip next time a knife wielding lunatic comes at you get in the car, you’ll be fine
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ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.
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the worst part of getting out of bed is losing all the heat you had built up
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me: [remembers some Really Cool People follow me] shit.. i’m acting like a Fool… [continues to act like a fool.]
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