clematised

[clematised]

SHE'S FAMILIAR WITH THIS FEELING 一 one where someone's gaze lingers on her a little too long. only this time it feels... different. nothing like back in the gardens when someone would be uncomfortable, even if she hadn't been certain about what he wanted until he had pointed out her bb gun (hilarious, given it felt useless, but still managed to catch the eye of those passing by who caught sight of it) at her side. her hand lingers against it, as if wary that he might take it if she didn't keep her guard up.

❝ This one isn't real. They called it a... BB Gun? When they gave it to me. ❞ she hadn't thought there would be mock weapons before until then. ❝ Why are you interested? The real thing is dangerous, you know. ❞ not that it would have truly stopped her at his age, she knows... but where she was now in life, she feels it was best to give a warning, just in case.

@ostentumm

[clematised]

HOW CAN HE KEEP SO CALM? even back in the garden, he seemed so nonchalant about even the most hectic of things that she had seen. to wake up one day knowing you had died... she cannot even fathom how that must feel, though her imagination is hardly lacking to know that it was possible, even for her. still, she listens to everything he says 一 calmly, despite how much she feels the fret of this entire situation sinking in as it does.

❝ No aliens at all? ❞ meaning no competitions that toyed with their lives, pausing to look at the screen that ivan stars on. it was... peculiar, though not foreign, given how popular ivan had been back then. ❝ What about these Stars? We... don't know anything about them, do we? ❞

maybe they could be aliens and this was just a whole new, twisted stage for them to play on. a hand rubs along her arm, gaze casting aside as they finally make it to their destination. ❝ So we can live how we want to here? Even if you died, you can still一 ❞ she cuts herself off there, falling quiet. no, as much as this wasn't right, it was still the fact that they could go back at any moment.

❝ The last time I was here, I wasn't around for long. What happens when you're sent back to... there? It's like I can't remember what happened here when I went back. ❞

They continue walking, she's fretting. It's odd to him, still, that she is. Maybe it shouldn't be - Till also reacted oddly. He keeps his expression its usual cool neutral as he considers this, the thoughts making web around his brain as he tries to understand.

At the very least, he can try to answer her question. He'd been here over a year now. "Mm, the why of it, I don't know. I was alive when I first got here, and then one day I woke up, and remembered that I had died. Well," a pause, he considers his words, "It was more like I 'lived' it out, but I was still here. But I know it happened, because I have the scars from the wounds that did it."

He gives her a moment before continuing, "But there are different people, from different worlds. Worlds where humans live the way they used to, no aliens at all." He takes the long way to the quiet eatery he's bringing her to, walking around another block.

"So, I don't know if there is a reason why we are here. Insofar as I did not know why we were born at all." A shrug, "But we are. And I am 'alive' here, and-" as if on queue, a television in a window plays an advertisement he had starred in. Pointing at it, he turns back to Mizi.

"And on television, and not getting killed in a competition. It is...weird."

[clematised]

surprise space doomed yuri. i have been thinking about hem a lot and im... not well. my girls :(

[clematised]

IT'S THAT FEELING OF WARMTH, one she thought she would never feel again 一 one that she shouldn't feel for the rest of her life. and yet here it is, right now, in this very moment that almost makes her heart leap straight from her chest. those tears being hidden from her only invoke her own, pricks of water stinging at the corner of her eyes as she can't hold herself back from wrapping her arms around the woman she had lost what felt like ages ago. even if she didn't deserve this, even if she had not been able to save her because of her negligence, it was what she wanted.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ah, but she had always been a selfish one, hadn't she?

❝ Sua... !! ❞ her name escapes her lips again, pink tresses mixing with black as she leans her head against the other. tears are quick to trickle down her cheeks. ❝ It's me! It's really me... ! I know I look different, but it's me, ❞ she claims, despite everything having happened since that fateful day on stage.

❝ I knew it was possible! Seeing you. I - Ivan and Till... I've seen them, too, but I... I hadn't seen you at all whenever I was here! ❞ though she hadn't looked, scared to never see her name show up, that maybe she really wasn't as desperate for her as she thought. though maybe it was because she wasn't allowed to see her, that very irredeemable reason keeping them apart like that until now. her being here like this was a blessing she hardly deserves, one that can be taken away at the whims of these so called stars, yet she cannot help but continuing to hold on tight as she chokes back a few more tears.

❝ It's you... it's really you here with me again!? ❞

𝄞 Sua was certainly no stranger to waiting by herself. Even in Anakt, by the time they had graduated most of her peers kept their relative distance from her. She'd certainly never made it easy for them to approach her, and especially near the end she hadn't wanted them to. It would have been easier for them at the end of round 1. It would have been easier for her too. When she wasn't with Mizi in Anakt, she was usually found by herself.

No one would show up. That was the outcome she'd decided would come to fruition. That wasn't her Mizi. Because why would it be? She didn't deserve to see her again, to hear her voice again. Not after she'd selfishly left her behind like that. In a way coming to this city was a curse... because in her plan she'd never accounted for having to live with any thoughts after the end.

"Sua."

"...!?" Sua's expression was typically unchanging. The only one that could consistently get her to show raw emotions was Mizi. Maybe that was why it all it took was the sound of a familiar voice to shatter the calm look on her face as she sat there. Her lips parted and her eyes quivered, her emotional response so strong that it invited tears to gather.

There was a woman standing there. It was dark, but she had Mizi's silhouette. Her hair was different, but from what she could make out of her face... "Mizi!?" She dismounted the bench so quickly that it seemed like she might fall, only to catch herself and run towards the figure. There might have been a more rational way to respond, but faced with the woman she'd loved... the woman she'd left behind... she wasn't thinking rationally.

She didn't slam into Mizi, but she grabbed onto the shoulders of her clothes and buried her face into her shoulder to hide the tears that were undoubtedly being absorbed by Mizi's clothing. "You're really Mizi, right?"

[clematised]

EVER SINCE SUA HAD SHOWN UP, she'd found herself shopping more often. whether for herself or for sua, it didn't matter too much, the way that they would often share and swap their items. this time she was looking for something that was matching, fingers rummaging through a few items here and there to compare and contrast, pausing only when someone addresses her.

❝ Huh? Oh! ❞ she was asking for help, causing mizi to idly set down the trinkets she had just been looking at. ❝ I guess that really depends. What sort of things does your... girlfriend like to wear? ❞ a standard question, but one that needed to be asked. ❝ My 'girlfriend'... ❞ was that the right way to use it? ❝ ... doesn't wear anything too flashy herself, so I would get her something like this, ❞ she states as an example, lifting up a plainer headband with a few flowers laced on it, something simplistic overall. though, the more she looks at it, the more it doesn't feel right, causing her to return it back in place once more...

@clematised

☆ Suletta didn't know the first thing about accessories. Her hairband was the only one she wore aside from the Mr. Hot on her phone case, and only because her mother had given it to her. Still, she had ended up in an accessory shop not for herself, but because she was looking for a gift for her fiancée. There was a young woman browsing too. She looked pretty stylish... At least compared to how she was dressed anyways.

"Excuse me... I'm sorry for putting you on the spot, but do you know anything about accessories? I was looking for something for my girlfriend, but I don't really know what to get her..."

[clematised]

IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD, REALLY. sitting here like this, hands between her legs as she taps fingers on the seat. it had been her idea to invite till out to this small cafe, a place she had been shown when she had re-arrived, almost as if it were a comfort now to some degree. not that it was doing much comforting faced with the one she couldn't save, as if she were being made to look upon the failures that had continued to rack up within her grasp time and again, but...

❝ ... I'm sorry for your birthday gift. For how I gave it. ❞

was that a good icebreaker? she figures, at least, given the way ivan had told her it was wrong of her to have done something like that on his birthday. and, truthfully, she knew it wasn't the best display, too. but maybe he hadn't even realized it was from her in the first place, in which case, maybe it was better to have kept quiet. after all, did she even deserve to talk to him like this, let alone give him anything? silence engulfs her thereafter, anything she wants to say catching in her throat as she settles on fiddling with the hem of her shirt now.

@inablinkgone

[clematised]

BEING CALLED OUT TO LIKE THIS WAS, well, something new she had to become familiar with. it was different compared to anakt garden, where many people knew of each other compared to strangers. what was more unfamiliar is the item in his hand, something she hadn't had the chance to acquaint herself with.

❝ Huh? What is it? Are you sure? ❞ she may as well ask, given the look on her face probably spoke it all. still, she reaches out, almost hesitant, to take it and inspect it. ❝ I've heard of cherries before, but I've never had one. ❞

"Miss! Miss! Wait! I got an extra, Want one?" Yumoto jogs over to her, a cherry cola can in his outstretched hand. The twin to the one in his other hand, held close to his chest. He smiles, waiting for some sort of answer.

"I only need one, so you can have it. Do you want it? It's cherry."

@clematised

[clematised]

SHOULD SHE HAVE BEEN PREPARED? after ivan and till, this place has proven that anything and the beyond was impossible within its vicinity. those long since gone being back once again, alive and well, as if that god forsaken stage had not robbed them of all they had to give 一 their voices, their lives, their loves. it was as if it were some nightmare, lingering only in their memories. so to see her phone light up...

[TXT] Location data.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀from sua一

fingers grip the phone tight, uncertain if she should send a message. and when no words left the tips of her fingers, it was only natural that she sets off to where the location would lead her. little time passes as she arrives at the small park, the moonlight glowing above beneath the twinkling stars. she turns the corner, taking note of the presence who sits on their lonesome. sua... it looked just like her sua, a perfect image from that very day, yet still an existence that beneath the moonlit skies could shatter so easily if one desired it.

❝ Sua... ? ❞ of course it was sua, her sua. right? there was no mistaking it. no, perhaps she simply didn't want it to be a mistake, even with the way her heart trembles for the unknown. would she even recognize her? she's changed so much since they last stood upon that stage. would she even still love her as she is now? she steps closer, bundled fists pressed to her chest with the phone's illumination still blaring through the darkness, daring to speak the name of the one she loved more than anything once again, as if it would wipe away any doubts that circle her mind. ❝ Sua. ❞

@clematised

𝄞 It was like something out of a dream. A world where through the few interactions she'd had so far, she hadn't been treated like a pet nor a product. No one saw her as a doll, and yet... It was bittersweet. Sua had died, she knew that. She could remember how Round 1 had gone. She believed it had been the best case scenario for Mizi's sake.

She'd told herself that over and over both before and during her performance, and she was even telling herself that now. She'd always told herself that because it was for Mizi, she wouldn't have any regrets, but...

[TXT] Location data.

There had been a familiar name in her phone. "Mizi." Longing, fear, and paranoia all bubbled up at once. Was that actually her Mizi? She'd hardly grasped her own presence in the city and didn't really know what it meant. Was it something like purgatory? But if so... why would Mizi be there too? Scared of the answer, she'd only texted that number her location data, a small park under the 2am sky where she sat alone on a bench, still dressed in Mizi's dress from the first round.

If it was her Mizi, she'd see her name in come. But she was too afraid to be wrong, so Sua didn't dare look at her phone in case the person on the other end asked who she was. She wanted to hold onto the slightest bit of hope she could for as long as she could. But she didn't know what she'd do or say if it turned out to be her.

When no one showed up, she'd have her answer. So until then...

[clematised]

My Father, My Universe

[clematised]

WAS THIS HOW OTHER HUMANS ACTED? ones not kept as elaborate pets by aliens or shipped off to a stage that would one day claim your life. she has to admit that it's peculiar, though it's hardly off-putting given the behaviors of others within the garden. ❝ A knight... ? ❞ the word is familiar, but mostly from some of the books she'd seen being read by others and had been given herself.

❝ I've only heard about them from books. ❞ she looks around, as if attempting to find a book to show what she means, before noting the topics don't match what she seeks. ❝ Aren't they mostly fairytale stories? Like how ghosts are from scary stories. ❞

@2ndkindreds

[clematised]

PATRON SAINT OF OBSESSION

patron saint of devotion. of dedication. of passion. of everything you won't call it, in the spaces between. patron saint of holding tight to it until it bleeds. patron saint of pushing it too far. patron saint of staring into the sun until you're blind. patron saint of gazing onto beauty until you can't see anything anymore.

[clematised]

FEELING HER HAND IN HIS, she cannot help but feel a sense of unease. the strangeness of the warmth that courses through his body contradicts what it is she knows 一 he was supposed to be dead. and yet, here they walked: mizi, one of the last survivor's who should have been killed in her round and ivan, the idol who fell from grace upon that stage for the sake of another. she had watched it all, so close to be able to storm that stage and save them both, but...

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀you failed, didn't you? you always have. y̬͟ȏu̒́ͤ a̗̤lwä̖́y̋s͠ w̖̑̚ì͛̒l̞l̉.ͬͧ̑

her free hand lifts, tugging at a few strands of shortened hair, rubbing them between her fingers as she casts her gaze aside. would she even be able to eat were they to go somewhere? the thought of keeping food down alone repulses her just a little. instead, she decides to ask a question, one that ivan couldn't possibly have an answer to一

❝ Why are we here like this... ? ❞ not just on the street, but in this city where she couldn't look away from all the faces of those she couldn't save.

She looks...Well, not surprised anymore, but somehow worse for wear. And he can imagine why, with what he knows now.

Mizi...he never understood her, as much as he wanted to. She was so nice, no reason to be, didn't get anything out of it. It was so far beyond his own understanding of how the world worked, it fascinated him.

So he took her hand gently as they walked together, patting the back of her hand with his other hand as he brought her up to date on this place. A place that he'd been since even before he had died, as far as he knew, with no breaks.

"This place...it's just as weird as when you left. I can see why you might be stressed out." Shell-shocked, almost, in fact. "Do you have any questions for me? Or we can just go get something to eat."

@clematised

[clematised]

They're besties, your honor.

[clematised]

i have some other starters i need to catch up on on other blogs that i'll be getting to initially, but i still wanna toss out a rp ad for mizi to get her going again now that she's back! if you'd like some kind of starter, just pop on a like. capping at three!

[clematised]

when they bring you back into a weird city in the middle of your mental breakdown and deep insecurities

[clematised]

Vivinos give this girl a break pleeeease

[clematised]

MAYBE SHE WAS DEAD, TOO... merely some ghost who now, too, haunts the living like how so many of those lost to her before. it would make sense in some ways, this unknown place being the afterlife 一 how else would she see his face again when it was not on some large, flickering screen? that same old smile, eased upon his face as if it were naturally meant to remain. her friend, ivan, who had been gone from that world for less than a day.

nor can she run away, even if she wished of it, with how those eyes fall upon her in recognition. no matter how much she changes outwardly, they would always recognize one another, she thinks.

❝ Are you really him? ❞ who else would it be? not unless their captors had done something to bring him back to a likeness as she remembers. ❝ I'm not dead, am I? That's the only way all this could be happening. Or maybe I'm dreaming. If it was a dream, then... ! ❞ everything would be alright... right? but if those horrors were something so fleeting as a nightmare she struggled to wake from, shouldn't she feel a burst of happiness from her chest than the profound sorrow that weighs her heart? once again, she faces someone that causes her to falter, uncertain of what she should do in the wake of seeing them once again.

@foreverembrace