clumsyexpression - Tumblr blog

[clumsyexpression]

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚ dont sweat the petty stuff and dont pet the sweaty stuff ˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

⋆some annoying things that i've experienced but of course i use one piece men to interpret c:⋆

Mihawk

Mihawk, driving, and Y/N being a passenger princess or sumn: “Y/N, if you don’t get your funky, foul feet off of my dashboard..” “Oh look, you did an allegory, I learned that from one of your poems ♡” “….its alliteration”

Rosinante

“I mean this in the nicest way possible when I say I will smash your phone into smithereens the next time I can hear your phone through my calm sphere – particularly when your are on the OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE WITH IT ON FULL BLAST, SPEAKER BARELY HANGING ON THE LAST COIL OF LIFE AT 3 IN THE MORNING, WATCHING THE MOST OBNOXIOUS TIKTOK TO EVER BE CREATED ON THAT GOD FORSAKEN APP.” “….sorry I didn’t realize it was so loud…” Y/N opens the phone only for a shrill ‘oh noo’ to ring out,  causing Rosinante to yeet it on the ground as result, just like this ⇩⇩⇩⇩:

Oven

“Y/N, WHEN I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE FOOD SPLATTER IN THE MICROWAVE, THAT DID NOT MEAN I VOLUNTEERED TO HEAT EVERYTHING IN MY MOUTH.” “…..” “AND YOU WILL  STOP THROWING RAW FOOD ON ME. I AM NEITHER A SKILLET NOR A GRIDDLE.”

Benn

*rapid succession of knocking on the bathroom door* “The faster you knock DOES NOT mean I will poop any faster!!” “…..” *rapid succession of open palm slaps against the door*

Shanks

“Calling me a stinky ass hoe and following it with ‘no offense’ is still pretty offensive, Y/N. I definitely took a shower this morning and even used a new 50-in-1 shampoo, sooo..”

Law

*Y/N takes a giant chomp out of kitkat bar* “I know you didn’t just eat that Kitkat bar like that.” “Give me a break, Law.” “Get out.”

Kid

Y/N patiently waits in the right-turn lane for the red light to turn green without a signal on through 2 traffic cycles and for at least 10 minutes until there is an opening to go. “Wait, you really did that?” “Did what?” “You Really Sat In This Lane, Only To Turn???” “Well, yeah, it’s the safest way to turn, especially at this intersection! ♡” “YOU REALLY SAT HERE FOR 3 HOURS WHEN WE COULD HAVE GONE FROM JUMP STREET????!” “I-its better safe than sorry, there’s still oncoming traffic when you make the turn-“ “JUST TURN.” “Only when the light is green for go and not red for stop!” Y/N’s driving privileges consequently has been revoked when driving with others

the intersection may or may not have looked like this btw: ↑  ↿↱   ↱

[clumsyexpression]

Trying to write the most self-indulgent shit is the hardest thing ever like come on I need this treat yourself ugh

[clumsyexpression]

Rosinante Donquixote x Fluff Alphabet

I love this man with a burning passion - he lights my heart afire and kindles the fuzzies 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I'm not very good at romance, but i still wanted to shoot my shot and give it a try c:

⇥ based on this fluff alphabet prompt found here

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

Spontaneous human combustion. He doesn’t understand how he does it but he wish he could make it stop.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

You know when you leave home, and you know you’re going to be awhile, so you double check EVERY known hazard that you’re aware of in case of some weird, freak accident happening? Well it’s especially anxiety-inducing for Rosinante because of his accident-prone self and even after triple checking all of his appliances and outlets and he sets off to go to Target or whatever, it’s only halfway through his commute that he realizes that he probably left the stove on after all and almost instantaneously as the realizations sets, a strident succession of beeps sound off, cause he’s sitting in the middle of traffic until BLAM! He jolts forward, sitting ramrod straight in bed as he awakens from the fire alarm going off, smelling something getting extra crispified as indicative from the sooty smoke coming up from the hall towards the kitchen and so he jumps out of bed only to see that apparently it was from the toast that had already popped up from the toaster and the crumbs were still toasting in the crumb collection tray and then bizarrely enough, when they were done toasting, they also popped up in the toaster like toast would do and eqaully as loud when you’re not expecting the toast to pop up when they go PFFT! And then he realizes that ‘no, there was no toast’ as he begins to wonder why the origin of the sound he heard is right above him – only to realize that he’s now drenched because you just hosed him down and the sound was definitely because the hose had too much air in the line and you admonish him for smoking while falling asleep and he insists that he wasn’t and then you realize he was right, cause he totally caught on fire because he just sat in sun and by freak chance – like an ant under a magnifying glass – he just kinda caught..fire..

Anyways, his worst nightmares consist of spontaneous human combustion and its quite understandable.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

YES. Definitely a family man. He yearns to know what its like to have somewhat of a normal, loving family without strife and would fight the world in order to make it possible for yall to live comfortably without the worry of the evil, hurt, and turmoil that runs amok in the world. It would also be very convenient and comforting knowing that there are people who will have his back unconditionally to douse him with water when he spontaneously catch aflame.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Not that he would try to baby you – he knows that you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself – but knowing how many injuries he may have accumulated or ‘walked off’,  he can be a little over protective but will still give you your space, if that makes sense. He’ll ask often if ‘you’re okay?’, or ‘have you drunken enough water today? You might be a little dehydrated’,  or sometimes ‘I’m not saying that you need it, but if you’re not using it, I’ll hold on to that burn ointment for the time being..until you do, that is’. He just likes to make sure.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

You know when you make a mood playlist and you cant expect people to understand it completely? That’s how I see Rosinante – he’s so complex and reminds me of a variety of things, so hear me out:

Fireball – Pitbull

You can call him Mr.Worldwide cause he’s a marine and been places

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but I don’t care’ cause my boy is clumsy and that shit gets old after a while – the only thing that’s somewhat new is the new way he finds to be even clumsier

‘Momma said that everyone would know my name - I'm the best’ MM YEAH cause he used to be a celestial dragon and everyone knows about them

‘If you think I'm burning out, I never am - I'm on fire’ HLLE YEAH cause he’s literally on fire and there’s no definitive way of ever keeping him…not-on-fire lmao

We Didn’t Start The Fire – Billy Joel

My mans is trying to better the world and even joined the Marines in order to do so dunno if that was the right call or whatever but he did

Firework – Katy Perry

Okay but who cant relate???

And he’s trying his best.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Rosinante is just a naturally quiet person, devil fruit and covert operations aside. He occasionally glances at you, which causes his small smile to grow wider when you catch him watching you. He gives subtle affirmations, but is also very expressive; like, he can wear a mean poker face and all, but when his guard is down (which is typical when he’s around you), he’s not aware of how transparent he can truly be.

For example,

when he tries your cooking, he’ll be over the moon about it and will give you mad props for the delicious meal and will sincerely look forward to it again;

when he catches you making a pun, he’ll snort the moment he makes the connection;

when you stomp out his coat because the tail end has somehow kindled a fire out of thin air without him noticing, he’ll truly be confused cause ‘why are you stepping on my coat? I thought you hated my hat more, but..that’s a bit much, Y/N’

I dunno, but there you have it – my guy is pretty lit and wuv him so so much 💕💕💕

Jk this was not actually a fluff alphabet prompt but actually a SOS from yours truly cause he could really use a fire extinguisher right about now and hopes you got the message ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

[clumsyexpression]

kinda wanna have a nice candle lit steak dinner with crocodile as he stares at me vacantly while he decides whether or not to feed me to the bananadiles now or a lil later after he's finally able to enjoy his food without me talking the whole time 🥰🥰🥰

[clumsyexpression]

👉 You could have my 💞heart💞 or we could share it like the last slice 🍕

You know when you're trying to be really cute but they don't quite catch on to what you're trying to say?

Ace:

LMAO YOU THOUGHT. He still loves you, like, a lot, but if you truly loved him, you would understand that there’s nothing coming between him and that last slice. Not even you. Still loves you, though.

Law:

Pizza, pie, cake – doesn’t matter, why is this even a conversation right now? For one, you just ate the whole box by yourself. Secondly, it’s really sweet to offer the last slice, but no. Third, if you want a heart, just ask - he’s always readily available to get you heart if need one – be it marine, navy men, government officials, etc. And after all of that,  you’re only remembering now that he doesn’t like bread, so more for you.

Luffy:

Pleeease don’t get this dude twisted – you grossly underestimate his ability to totally misunderstand you and now he thinks you’re offering your heart because it’s a slice of pizza.

Crocodile:

Doesn’t like to share so he just buys out the entire pizza store so you don’t have to worry about.

Doflamingo:

Considers you a moment since there’s already been 3 other ‘candidates’ to fill  (or potentially) that Corazon position and- its just a very touchy subject and now you have found yourself tangled in one of his black market schemes because you approached him with a proposition.

Franky:

Starts bawling cause that’s one of the most romantic things you could ever say to him

Katakuri:

Internally gushes cause he was just about to eat the last slice of pastry in the display but knew his foresight was on to something when he saw that he was actually taking the time to break it in half  instead of scarfing it down and now that he knows that you’re the reason, he would have it no other way but to share your heart, the time, and this pastry with you 💕

Kid:

Is exceptionally very terrible at sharing and demands that he has it whole and all to himself. The pizza. Your heart? Well, that too. Cause anything you can do or possess, he can do and treat better. That’s like….the most inadvertent way of being romantic and that’s kinda cute, especially for Kid lmao

Killer:

Might be willing if the last slice is a pizza roll. They’re more his speed – especially since they’re easier to poke through the holes of his mask. Oh, yeah, and he loves you too, if that’s what all of this means.

Kuzan:

As long as its cold. Heart, pizza, whatever.

Lucci:

“..why share when I could just steal it? There’s no need.” “Aww, that’s so sweet! Cause honestly, I do feel like you’ve stolen my-” “Why steal it when I could just kill you?” “…” It’s hard to have a cute moment with this man.

Mihawk:

As long as its artisan, its fine

Rosinante:

Also doesn’t like bread but will scrape off all of the toppings and eat that so he doesn’t offend you too much. mmmm pile o' cheese and toppings

Sanji:

You suddenly find yourself in one of those Venetian river boats with a candlelit authentic pizza dinner situated in the middle of you and Sanji - whose rowing y’all both down the waterways and he won’t stop singing 🎶When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore🎶 and its like he’s on loop, nonstop. Depending on how much you can tolerate of that, its pretty nice

Smoker:

“…what are you going on about?”

Usopp:

“As long as it’s extra cheesy 🧀🍕💗”

X Drake:  

“Always felt like you was so accustomed to the fast life, have a dino thinkin' that he met you in a past life. Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin' with no make-up on - that's when you're the prettiest, hope that you don't take it wrong-"

Zoro:

All you had to say was ‘slice’ and he was game. “No, Zoro, slice as in pizza-” “Does it look like I wield pizza cutters??” “…” “Where’s the pizza at?”

[clumsyexpression]

[gonna be out of commission for a lil over a week so uhhhhhhh]

[clumsyexpression]

❛ it’s my fault, isn’t it? ❜

Have been on a marine kick lately and i dunno i really love these guys

Aokiji ✭ X Drake Fluff? x Reader

"It’s my fault, isn’t it?"

A lazy eye peered from underneath the padded sleeping mask as you slinked behind the closing door to the office with a sigh. There was no way anyone could sleep through a verbal eruption by Akainu, and those in particular tended to rouse the sleeping Aokiji whenever it occured. Apparently the sound of Akainu’s voice would trickle in and foul his dreams.

“No sir,  I should have been a little more punctual with my deliveries.”

It’s one thing to get chewed out by a superior officer, but a tad bit different when you receive the brunt end of the anger of a superior officer, in front of other superior officers, and then have said yelling superior officer be Akainu. Kizaru always appeared to be unbothered and Fleet Admiral Sengoku wasn’t fazed either whenever it happened, but still.

It’s not fun being screamed at.

You exhaled as the laxness that permeated the room was somewhat contagious. All of the tension that may have followed you from Akainu’s presence melted as soon as you found yourself with Aokiji. He had that effect on you, you found, and was very glad that you didn’t have to report to any of the other admirals often – namely Akainu.

“Hmm, I think you’re doing a fine job. Enough with all that serious stuff,” Aokiji yawned as he finally sat up for what may have been the first time today. A peek at the clock revealed that it was already past 16:00 hours.

Even though it wasn’t entirely your fault, a rush of anxiety bombarded once more as you realized that the end-day reports needed to be turned in and based on the lack of files (not) sitting on the desk, you didn’t even have an hour to amass what you needed for Akainu’s impending diatribe.

Why bother?

“Well, if I’m late, it looks bad on you, and if things aren’t done in a timely manner, not only does the department suffer but it’s a bad look on the marines as a whole and even though-”

Your running thoughts were cut short as a casual kiss had sealed your verbal runoff. You couldn’t quite tell if it was just you and the flash of heat that flushed your body or if it was because he always ran a little more on the cooler side, but just as before, the day’s worries and concerns melted away – draining away the longer he held your lips with his.

Blasé as ever, Aokiji pulled away with a content hum and continued on with the next task for the evening’s itinerary.

“My my, that’s enough work for the day - time for an evening stroll,” Aokiji declared as he grabbed the keys to lock up his office for the day – seemingly oblivious to the frazzled mess of a you he’s leaving behind in the middle of the room.

But as you noted before, the nonchalance that exuded from this man was exceptional – was he going to pretend that didn’t just happen?

“W-wha, s-sooo…” you attempt to scrap together a sentence while poorly suppressing how flustered you felt. “Y-you consider that work? That was on the schedule?”

“Not at all. What is that saying, how’s it go – if you love what you do, it’s not considered work?” Aokiji attempted to recall however it went, but gave up with a shrug and held the door open for you to pass first.

“Something like that.”

a/n: sorry if this sounds familiar, im working on different scenarios but dang it this is the best way I can imagine it orz

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°☆

"It’s my fault, isn’t it?"

Drake muttered under his breath, allowing only you to hear, but all eyes and attention were on the both of you as everyone awaited to see what he was going to do.

“And there’s 99% chance that you will not follow through,” Basil affirmed with a flip of a card, poorly suppressing the smirk that crept across his face from the lack of action.

Sometimes the job called for silly shenanigans, and this was one of those times.

Between Basil’s ridiculous predictions and an already suspicious Who’s-Who, he had no other choice but to give in for the sake of his mission.

That always comes first – his mission - but between the two of you and the closer you seem to get, it was becoming harder and harder to tell what the main focus was.

He didn’t mean for you to be roped into this.

Not at your expense.

Playing your role of the barkeep that the Tobi Roppo is known to frequent, you could only idly stand by and fulfill their requests. Not that you minded this one. This one was actually interesting. The building excitement wasn’t just an act, either. You really wanted to see where this would go.

“This is childish. I don’t have to time for this.” Drake crossed his arms and turned to leave - agitated by the immaturity of the game and the group of participants. And also to hide the blooming rosiness that started to inch its way up his neck and bloom onto his face.

He hated going out drinking or partying with the Tobbi Roppo. They were always boisterous and belligerent and such a hassle to blend in with. But -  as per the mission briefing - it was his job to stay in line and under the radar, which meant if he had to play the not-blow-my-cover-as-a-marine-spin-the-bottle with the gang, he would do it.

“Sounds like something a spy would say, If I ever heard one.” Who’s-Who jeered, already banking on Basil’s 99% chance of him not going through with it.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Because its you.” You admitted through a barely audible whisper, earning a deepening flush from the covert marine as his eyes could no longer meet yours, for whatever reason.

“Hmmph. Your days are marked. ‘Definitely no way that you’re gonna-”

The motion of his hands seemed to smudge time to a mere trickle as gloved hands became a vice grip to your face – eyes shut, lips locked, and securing the bet that was against him. Something about the kiss felt like it weighed more onto something else than the bet – between how deep and genuine it felt as opposed to a quick peck that was originally warranted. Sharing the heat from his body thanks to the kissing exchange, you fanned your face as an attempt to cool off while Drake delivered a derisive glare towards his cohorts – as if it didn’t take all of his being to not faint right then and there as per their taunting.

“Whoa shit, didn’t think he would do it..”

“….whatever.”

Losing interest in the lost bet, Who’s-Who turned to leave while Basil lingered by with cards in hand, seemingly interested in keeping the game going.

Basil smirked as he flipped a card down and sent another leering dare as his jeer met Drake.

“99% chance you won’t do it again.”

Unfortunately, that held true as you held the shell of a man in your arms, his soul finishing its escape from his body at the mere thought of kissing you again.

[clumsyexpression]

⊶Keepin' it ℝeal⊷

I've been really into the marines/government folks lately, and I know they aren't the type to easily be swayed when it comes to making up their minds 🥰🥰🥰

Rob Lucci, X Drake, Rosinante accidentally ~2.4k words (in total) some hot and heavy themes, but... if you know me by now, ya know ͡° ل͜ ͡°

Lucci

Being in the presence of such a profound and intimidating man was no easy feat – each glance he cast your way felt like a finger pistol straight into your heart, and when you realized you were still breathing, his occasional seductive smirks laced with poorly contained lust put your heart to the test time and again.

You knew he didn’t necessarily lack patience, but more so he didn’t care for any delay.

That much was evident when he set the round snifter down onto the table with a little less delicacy as he had earlier before, when the night was slightly more young; the remainder of the amber drink being drained effortlessly as it marked the final obstacle between you two getting to the main event of the night. Dinner by candlelight was nice and all, but it was evident that it was you who he hungered for based on him undressing you the whole time his eyes laid upon you. The one of many smirks that’s been tugging at the corner of his mouth finally widened into the mischievous smile he seemed to be suppressing all evening.

Imbued with a new sense of urgency, Lucci stood before you, almost taking out the table as if it stood in the way of his cravings, his desires. He loomed over you with no intent to leave until sated.

“Y/N, I’m done wasting time.”

It didn’t take much to get past the sheer chiffon that draped your shoulders and barely covered your chest; a clean and effortless swipe of a finger cleared the way, and you couldn’t decide whether his deftness reminded you of his feline tendencies per his devil fruit or if it was thanks to the expediency of what his job called for.

Either way, no longer did any of  your pesky clothing obstruct Lucci’s visage as the sight of your undergarments seemed to make his jaw drop onto the floor – joining some of your damaged clothes thanks to his impulsive handiwork.

However, the desirous scrutiny you were once under seemed to twist into.. a daze? disgust? disappointment? On most occasions, you were rather proficient at reading the taciturn man, but in this moment, it was hard to tell..

“Leopard..print?”

Lucci’s eyes lingered only a second more on your feline-inspired lingerie before meeting yours – looking for confirmation in his disbelief. You couldn’t help the small smile that was breaking free from containment, as you took this as a good sign; that he couldn’t believe you would do this for him, and you wanted to show how devoted, how serious you were about all of this.

Your smile beamed into a grin as you spoke.

“I knew you would like it- ”

“I don’t.”

“…huh?”

You were taken aback by the harshness and brevity of his statement. Your grin wilted into a pout as you tried to make sense of his disapproval.

How could he not like it…?

“But it’s your- ”

“Exactly. Y/N, do you- ” he cut himself off before steeling his point across through a narrow glare. “I will ask you this one thing, but regardless of the answer, you will leave.”

The space between you increased, but the heaviness of the room remained.

“What if I wore a human suit? Used your hide as undergarments?”

The hesitancy in giving a reply and the dryness of your throat gave away your non-answer, and he could only move to wring his tired brow from the impending headache coming his way. “Leave.”

“T-to be fair, you kind of already are wearing a human suit since you are a- ” you attempt to reason but he was hearing none of it.

“Go.”

“BUT YOU ARE WEARING A HUMAN SUIT! WHAT IS YOUR SKIN COVERING??”

“Y/N.”

“…and you could have worn my ass,” you mutter under your breath as you collect yourself from the table and readied to leave. “Wore my ass OUT- ”

“NOW.”

a/n: sorry that I like watering down his meanie behaviors but if you tried any of this fr fr you would be dead lmao just sayin

X Drake

It wasn’t often that the two of you were able to be alone, away from it all - away from the world, away from the navy, away from the…

Riiiing….ring

Well, almost completely alone.

This transponder snail has been giving you the creeps lately; for a government issued communication device, it sure had a way of…malfunctioning, as of late. The slight and almost inaudible ring of the snail did not go unnoticed by you, but it definitely went unnoticed by Drake - who already promised that nothing could get in the way of him getting to you now as he pinned you to the bed between his arms.

He just mustered up enough courage to finally touch you without fainting on the spot, and just as you were about to congratulate him by directing his hands to the prize, of course there would be a distraction to keep that from happening.

A gangly stalk veered in your direction from across the room on the dresser as Drake somehow didn’t take any notice, which garnered a creeping smile from the not-so-discreet gastropod. It was obvious that he’s been pining to touch you as your blouse started to inch its way up due to the guidance of some grabby hands, but you just couldn’t work in these conditions.

“It’s watching us.”

“No it isn’t, it’s just there.”

Drake, despite being a super-secret covert double agent, didn’t bother to ask what you were even talking about as he attempted to continue on with his exploration. As much you wouldn’t mind, you did, however, mind having a spectator.

Growing a bit bold from the non-attention of Drake, both eyestalks found their way to your persons as Drake vied for you full and undivided attention by locking you down into an embrace, sealed with a kiss. 

Right as your shirt was beginning to give up on concealing what wasn’t already visible-

“Is someone hacking it – is it eavesdropping?”

Very and visibly annoyed that you won’t stop talking through a kiss, Drake sat up halfway onto an elbow to see what was so important to interrupt.

“It is a living creature, it, uh, moves from time to time.” The conversation tested his patience as  Drake tried to politely assuage any concern and worry you had into undivided attention back to him.

As soon as he redirected his focus back to you, the snail whipped its spindly eyestalks back to you at an unnatural speed for a typical snail. It was at this point that you knew something was definitely up with this thing.

Sitting up immediately on the bed – causing poor Drake to lose his balance down to the floor – you point an accusing finger at the snail, which also happened to be at the exact moment it decided to act natural.

“DRAKE. IT WAS WATCHING. I WANT IT GONE.”

“Y/N, I can’t just get rid of it,” Drake huffed in frustration as he pulled himself up from the floor – the building aggravation evident in the speed of his speech. “It’s my only means of communication and I can’t just turn it off or on like talking about it.”

“Well, I can’t be turned on until you turn it off.”

“Are you..are you suggesting I kill  it?”

“W-well no, just cover it up or something – I don’t want to see it, see me.”

“Then it will suffocate and I can’t hear it ring.”

“Don’t you stuff that thing in your pocket all the time?”

“It’s close enough I can hear a call.”

“Drake its so ugly and slimy and if it as much as look at me one more time, I’m dousing it in salt.”

It was at that point that sad eyes wandered to meet Drake’s, confirming that its feelings were hurt. Also because a glance towards you meant that death was imminent.

Almost as if a bait-and-switch of sour-then-sweet when it came to the two of you, Drake immediately fell for the dejected eyes of the snail over your malice towards it.

“Y/N, you need to apologize.”

A steeled tongue – much different from the one prodding around in your mouth moments ago – spoke as if you committed a crime against the government personally and demanded amends.

“What is happening- ”

“Nothing until you apologize.”

“Not happening.”

The heat that once simmered the room chilled off into tension as the three of you sat in silence at an impasse.

“…did you really just include the snail as a person in this argument??” you ask incredulously, crossing your arms in front of your chest in offense that your current reality right now is being ruined by a damn snail with wandering eyes and your lover is apparently siding with it??

“It’s sitting right there and you were the one to rope him into this.”

“Drake, I don’t care what you do but I want him out of here!”

“Say less.”

Drake stomped over to the dresser where the crestfallen snail sat – whisking the transponder snail up with a loving but brisk scoop and stormed towards the door.

The passing glance that you expected from Drake didn’t come from him, but instead from the transponder snail as it continued to eye you down with a knowing squint – confident of its security in Drake’s arms as he passed you by.

a/n: this really reminds me of the stupid trope of your pet/family photos/ungodly collection of squishmallows watching you while you try to have some personal time but there’s just too many eyes watching you, man. Also, this man is gonna blow his cover because those transponder snails are marked by the Marines and its so obvious pffft. Also also, those poor transponder snails know too much and its not even their fault lmao

Rosinante

Tonight, you really wanted to test the limits and see how far you could go and how long he would let you.

You two were already breaking the rules - with you being in his barracks and all – but to violate the noise ordinance with offensive and suggestive noises? You were just asking for a dishonorable discharge. And with no thanks to your service.

Over an hour had passed and you two were still going at it. Or better yet, you were still going at it whereas Rosinante was running low on patience and composure – ironically enough.

“Y/N, can we please just settle do-”

“Wait, after this one, because I really need to know after this one to make sure you aren’t playing me,” you insisted before moving on to the next thing on tonight’s itinerary.

“Please just trust me on this, Y/N. If the 50ft rope of firecrackers, the TV at max volume with the already illegally louder-than-normal commercials, incredibly out of tune bugle, and the rinky-dink blender full of peach pits and ice didn’t alarm anyone, I assure you, I assure you, we will be fine.” Rosinante emphasized the running list of noise pollution with a finger count that was about to get longer as he awaited your next escapade.

And it didn’t take long.

“Sengoku smells like eggs!”

Rosinante was taken aback, that’s for sure, but you couldn’t tell if the crimson creeping up from his chest to his face was from him trying to stifle any laughter back or him possibly being offended – seeing as how Sengoku was pretty much his dad.

The thickening silence was practically palpable as it weighed you down, along with the heavy and unrelenting glare that Rosinante hurled at you.

Although there was quiet, it wasn’t the same empty quiet as times before, like when the blender was whirring or the TV blasting. There was a medium in the air, but was it…Rosinante’s annoyance?

“Admiral Sengoku.”

You forgot your formalities when making a childish insult, and to someone as dear to Rosinante, at that.

“It’s ‘Admiral Sengoku smells like eggs’,” Rosinante asserted, but soon realized his faux pas once the correction blurted from his mouth, and even more so when he made the declaration a little louder than he intended.

The both of you were stupefied that that would even come out of his mouth and the each of you swung an accusing finger at another – both of you surprised but also to prove a point; you awaited to see if his sound barrier was legitimate and that no one heard his little announcement, and Rosinante pointed in shock that he would even let that come out of his mouth and hope no one heard that because he definitely let his guard-

CRRRRRSSSSSSSHHHHHHH!!!!!

Reminiscent of a giant, jolly refreshing pitcher of red sugary drink, the golden and much more angrier counterpart of the Kool-Aid man crashed through the wall – actually demolishing the entire side of the barracks in which a handful of other marines resided – much to the misfortune (or…fortune, if you’re into Sengoku balls or whatever I don’t know pffft) of being on the lower floors of the residence hall and waking up to peer into a golden loincloth.

“Rosinante, I smell like what?”

Rosinante could only gulp back a response since it was obvious that actually giving one would more than likely be worse; he was an honest man and couldn’t help himself – especially when it came to Admiral Sengoku. The best he could do was stand at attention and hope the fringe of hair covering most of his eyes could protect him.

“Not only violating ‘Light’s Out’ with unauthorized guests, but also violating the noise ordinance ON TOP OF disrespecting your superior with-“

“Eggs.”

Like two owls turning their heads smoothly on a pivot in unison, Rosinante and Admiral Sengoku faced you with as many definitions of the word ‘incredulous’ could give.

“That’s what Rosinante said.”

Sengoku blinked back with slight surprise that you would actually  repeat it and Rosinante with the inevitable fact that he’s definitely the one taking the fall for all of this and you’re definitely digging a deeper hole from him to be buried in.

“He said you smelled like eggs. ‘Admiral Sengoku smells like eggs.’ Yeah. WELP. Guess I’ll be going now, don’t want to break any more rules than I have already, sir. Good night <3”

You decide that instead of trying to reason with a hulking golden man that is easily 30ft tall, it would be best to let a father and son talk things out without you getting in the way of things.

You leave them to their peace and quiet.

[clumsyexpression]

whoops sorry if i spam but i have a lot of stuff on my reading list and im finally undrafting them so uh

[clumsyexpression]

-Take Care- ☛(of Me)☚

I occasionally see requests where people ask for fluff or cutesy stuff for some of the non-fluffiest characters and it's not that they aren't...fluffy, it's just that they have a different way of showing they care c:

Doflamingo

Will set the dog bowl out you with clean water TWICE a day once you reach that level of care in the relationship

May allow you to stroke his hair every so often, but only because he loses his scalp massager on the daily in his large feather coat and its such a pain trying to find it among other things

Because of the criminal amount of space he takes up with his one-of-a-kind manspreading, you sometimes get to sit beside him if the furniture is at least 20ft wide

Does not take well to ‘Deez’ jokes, cause you know, well, the Will of ‘D’ kinda messed him up there

Good news: Doflamingo likes only the finest threads and can’t afford to have you looking destitute or poor

Bad news: You get to look just as tacky as he does and there’s no fenagling your way out of wearing 3 different types of jarring animal print. Gotta be an eye-popping, color too – neons and hot colors

If he’s really kinda sorta okay with you, he’ll  be alright with moving you away from Trebol anytime there’s a sneezing fit. But by no means are you ever excluded from being a human shield if any goop comes flying his way.

Lucci

You know how cats will stare at you, contemplating whether or not to snuff out your life every morning they sit on your chest – sometimes smothering you or outright putting their full weight on your throat?

Yeah, well, he only stares out you for half the time it would take to decide to kill you.

But this is every morning, so your mortality is in question every wake cycle lmao

On the long road of him somewhat tolerating your presence, he may even allow you to live eye contact when speaking with you

You can call him ‘Robert’, but only once. Ever. Cause that was definitely the first and last.

Could potentially earn some bonus points if Hattori likes you.

Sometimes Hattori will just start talking mad shit for no reason, but you’re hip to know that he’s only parroting what Lucci is thinking sometimes so you always know better not to say anything back I hope

Speaking of bonus points and talking shit, the only way and/or reason Spandam should be brought up in your very one-sided conversation is when your running his name through the mud. Anything else and Lucci will not like you very much. Its like you can take 1 step forward but immediately go back 100 paces if you mess this up pffft

Also, he is not very entertained by cat puns, so don’t keep them at a minimum – don’t keep them at all.

[clumsyexpression]

hiii, i love ❤️ your Ace hc, w him pacing a hole in the ground and all. made me think up a fic for it (i'll tag you when it's done!)

anyway, can i request one where he reacts to a fem!reader doing yoga? sorry, i been into yoga lately and it made curious! (did i mention i love Ace?)

okay, you're wonderful, bye! \(@-@'|

Whooooweeeee,

so sorry this is late – I had some WIPs to get outta the way, and also, um, life, but just letting you know you have been heard and im super flattered that you like my writing?? So much so, that you would want a request??? sfbbfnsdbsiufbfskfjsafb Hmmm, so im not very familiar with yoga, but I am somewhat if…faintly, at this point in my life lmao familiar with going to the gym and working out and I tell ya, what an experience lol So if you don’t mind me taking it from there, I’m pretty sure all of this would transpire if Ace noticed you in the gym:

Ace x fem!Reader in the gym minding her business and Ace is too lol

You thought you were doing your pre-workout stretches alone, and you find it strange that your movements are being mirrored in your peripherals even though you aren’t standing next to one?? You look over and this guy is trying his hardest to play it cool and to be polite but he’s been staring at you so long that he began to copy everything you do, since, if you’re doing it, it can’t be weird for him to do it too?? You only laugh from the flattery of his gestures.

You know when someone is super focused until something really interesting catches their attention? Well Ace could be hitting the speedbag, doing some full-on Tae Bo on a punching bag and will get absolutely r o c k e d  when the momentum comes back at him from staring at you for too long. You’re minding your business and suddenly hear someone get sacked - only to look over and find a man giving you a goofy grin similar to that of piano keys since the 4 missing teeth that should be filling his mouth is lying on the floor and you’re not gonna question how someone can get a self-inflicted black-eye from a dummy opponent.

You hit the treadmill, doing your thing, and then all of a sudden you feel like you need to run for your life since Crash Bandicoot over here is trying to out-race the treadmill beside you, trying his best to impress you as he backflips over the little ‘speedbump’ when you finally ask if he’s ‘’’’okay’’’’ he’ll explain that the little strip that keeps passing through is a lil speed bump and they’re (whoever ‘they’ are lmao) tryna trip you up if you’re not careful but really its just where the belt on the machine had been fused together lmao

Wrapping up the workout session, you decide to power down by walking the indoor track that wraps around the whole gym. Being in the outer ring that’s designated for walking, you can’t help but notice how there seems to be a fire spout developing in the inner lanes of the track and no one is really taking note of it - especially since there appears to be a man LITERALLY BURNING in thought and another idea more may very well cause him to be engulfed.

Well, as it turns out, it only took one more occasional glance to you - and for you to be looking back - for that to happen and now everyone has increased gym membership fees, all thanks to you deciding to coincide your workout session with Ace that day. Sure, he did all the fire damage and what not, but if you weren’t so dang hot-

[clumsyexpression]

One Piece Men needing a Blue Sky Holiday

Here's some One Piece guys having a bad day and here's how you ruined it (͡• ͜໒ ͡• )

Ace:

You just wanted a cool drink from the gas station but the door read ‘No shirt, no service’ and you had a lengthy discussion on what  classified as a shirt and him covering his nipples with his hands upon entry wouldn’t cut it

Aokiji:

After explaining how he had such a long day of reluctantly doing paperwork and what not, he also  had to explain how he ate the Chilly-Chilly Fruit and not the Chili-Chili Fruit and you two had a very lengthy talk about his devil fruit being somewhat of a misnomer since he couldn’t spontaneously generate bowls of chili, and when he disagreed with you, you decided to file a complaint to Fleet Admiral Sengoku and now he has to read it over the next day he goes in to work and sign all 73 pages that outline your argument

Crocodile:

You reasoned that if he ate the kinetic version of the Sand-Sand fruit, his powers would be a lot more cooler since sandcastles would be easier to build and he would be a lot more ASMR friendlier, which might help with his attitude problems

Franky:

Waitress: “Hmm, Coke, no, but we do have Pepsi – is that okay?” Franky: "No-" You: "Yeah, that will be fine – pretty much the same thing, right?”

Katakuri:

He saw you coming with your bullshit but wasn’t rude enough to turn you away. He is now forcing himself to consume end-of-the-shift Dunkin donuts and watered down Dunkin Refreshers that had its ice melt more than 45 minutes ago but at least your company makes up for it but you were still on that bullshit to get him old Dunkins lmao

Kid:

You were goading him into thinking he couldn’t do this cool trick you discovered and while he was clouded over in anger and being super competitive, you managed to trick him into ‘drawing’ a dick on your new widescreen tablet with his magnetic devil fruit powers - which was actually the the 65” TV that belonged in the common area and now everyone is mad at the both of you

Law:

You discovered his Squishmallow collection that he swore up and down was Bepo’s until you threatened to punch them all. Bepo still cried that you would even think to do that, you monster

Lucci:

You asked him to smell this really cool but very dubious plant that was on clearance at Lowe’s that had no label besides a barely legible cat silhouette on it. Now he’s been rolling around all over the floor while making really weird screeching sounds and  clawing the shit out of anything to that dares to move for the past 3 hours.

Luffy:

You set up a bunch of those faux food soaps with the hopes that he would use it to bathe, but instead he proceeded to break into your edible looking wax melts that smelled deliciously like food since you kept them in close proximity in the bathroom and now he has  a very bad tummy ache

Mihawk:

You accidentally broke the bottle of wine he intended to share with you in 5 minutes – not having enough time to look through his extensive wine cellar, you knew exactly where his red wine vinegar was and poured him a glass. He then started to choke exactly like this.

Rosinante:

You warned him that the food was a little spicy as a joke and he still caught on fire

Sanji:

You told him that you knew a great bar to unwind at with plenty of exotic dancers that are topless the whole time but was not at all entertained when the Chippendales was on stage the entire night

Smoker:

You gifted him some really nice cigars while yall were at a party but he got really buzzed and he thought he was eating some ants on a log but didn’t realize that he was actually eating his cigars until he was already 4 sticks in

X Drake:

You keep preparing to tell him about the details of this really cool, super top secret mission that nobody can know about except him and if you so much get a whiff of him thinking about snitching you out, you will open the door and get on the floor so everybody walk the dinosaur. You never explain the details btw

Zoro:

You two were in the middle of arguing and he says something that really rubs you the wrong way; you turn to look behind you to see who the fuck he’s talking to and when you turn back to face him, he’s gone. Now he’s big mad since you put him on search to find who he was talking to and he can’t find his way back to you to give a proper answer

[clumsyexpression]

[POV: You Play Too Much] -- Last Letter Game

You're his Partner-in-Crime But also his Pain-in-the-Λss

“Hey, let’s play a game.”

“Y/N, time and place.”

“But even you have to admit it’s a little dull right now. And besides, I think we could both use a little excitement tonight.”

Drake, the usually stoic between the two of you, couldn’t help but feel a bit unnerved by that. Not necessarily by the game, but how you chose to say it.

Slightly flustered by your remark, Drake fastened his arms across the very visible skin his jacket left exposed – as if giving himself a hug to keep from getting cold. Or to block out any of your shenanigans he knew was coming his way.

He’s never rude or obnoxious to you, but you can tell when he becomes guarded around you and tries to keep you from reading him – which, you like to remind, is very dangerous since both your lives depend heavily on communication from one another. Being on top-rank covert missions require transparency between the two of you, in which you also like to remind him of.. even though you more or less mean it in less than professional contexts.

“W-what do you, erm, mean by that?”

He doesn’t forget that kind of thing.

“Um, how do you think I meant it?”

“This is serious business, Y/N. Just…nothing that will blow our cover.”

Drake took a moment to prod at his eye mask as you shuffle your feet into the gravel - poking around at discarded cigarette butts and pebbles as you marinate on some potential schemes. Standing outside one of the many ubiquitous bars and lounges Wano had to offer, there were many ears to hear and eyes to spy. But that in itself cropped an idea for you that you would enjoy.

Solely, you.

Because of course, he wouldn’t admit that he would.

Out loud.

“That’s fine. ‘Last Letter Game’, category being, hmm? Wano?”  you say with equal stringency, establishing a mutual understanding of just how significant this all was. Knowing just how heavy the gravity of the situation was meant just how far you could possibly push the envelope, after all.

You commenced the first round, knowing that Drake could easily keep up with the 5 second limit of answering once you uttered the starting word.

“Flowers.”

“Soba.”

“Apples.”

“Shit.”

“Tobi Roppo.”

Drake couldn’t fully stifle his snicker as his gloved hands did a poor job muffling it from nearby ears. Thankfully, no one was receptive enough to really care what was so funny or pick up on the connection of the two words and carried on with their daily bustle. Realizing where he was a split moment after his break of character, Drake continued in a hushed but pointed whisper to keep prying ears from tuning in so easily anyway - tightening his crossed arms to his chest.

 “Orochi.”

Now for your plan to be put into action.

“Intimate.”

“Ebisu.”

“Underwear.”

“…Rasetsu.”

Slight delay in comparison to his prompt answers from before, Drake picked up the game from where he had dropped the pause - dropping you a stern but bothered glance as he picked up on the developing theme with your choice of words. “Y/N…”

“Uncontrollable.” Feigning innocent of the look he just shot you, you await again for an answer, looking for a much quicker response.

“Egregious.”

“Sweaty.”

“Yakisoba.”

“Arousing.”

“Y-Y/N, I see what you’re doing, and it’s…”

“What? You don’t feel the same way?”

Face fully flushed to the max to where any attempt to hide it was futile, Drake had to compose himself to spare hearing you prattle on about it, and to also keep within the time limit of the game. Doing a poor job of both, he could only clear his throat as he tried to keep from completely choking on his word.

“G-gold.”

“Desired.”

"Determined."

"Debauched."

And barely managing another glance your way, Drake held his face in his hand as if it was melting off from the immense heat that ripped it aflame – trying his best to keep it together. You curiously angled yourself face in front of his, attempting to make eye contact with him since that’s only the proper thing to do when speaking with someone.

“Dirty? Yell? Lubricous? Stimulating? Are you even trying?”

It was almost impossible to repress the ever-growing smirk you wore on your face as it was for him to withhold any and every shred of embarrassment he wore on his. The two of you were as transparent as ever, and it was no secret that he was easy to fluster over the most mildest of mild sexual implications, but if he likes to contest it,  then you’re always game for it.

“Y/N…”

“So I guess that means I win – you’re declaring me the winner?”

“What…does a-any of that have..to do with Wano?”

“Huh? Were you not paying ANY attention at all to today’s events?” You huffed, fully aware of it not being so obvious. “Uh, Sumo wrestling? Duh. What else could it have been about, silly?”

“Oh, I-I see..”

“That’s literally the first thing to come to mind when I think of those words. Where was your head at? In the gutter?” You lightly gibe with a tap of a finger on your temple while he tried his darndest to rub out the tension headache from his.

 In your book, it is against the rules for X Drake to ever catch a break.

[clumsyexpression]

[POV: You Play Too Much] -- Paperwork

You know how to get the job done, it's just a matter of getting Aokiji to do it, too

900~ words suggestive but sfw c: fem!assistant/reader

i also want to thank you for reading cause this is rather experimental as far as, uh, suggestiveness goes aaaa

“Sorry, but this is fresh from Fleet Admiral Sengoku himself,” you plop the stack of files and binded paper unto the desk with a deafening schwack! and smile to match.

“I’ll get right on it..after the scheduled mid-afternoon nap.” The reclined, bump on a log drawled from under his sleep mask. Even with that being said, you are never too sure if maybe it’s sleep talk or if he actually halfway acknowledged you.

“Oh, and Admiral Akainu said that you needed to pull your weight, so here’s your load.” Another pile of paper pounded the desk with an equally deafening shwack! – although, knowing the source from where it came, you could feel the malice from whom it was ordered from seep out a bit as some of the top pages fluttered away onto the ground, baring a striking and ‘URGENT’ crimson label on every page that needed to be completed.

Probably catching a faint scent of the load of ‘crap’, Kuzan crinkled his nose ever so slightly before giving it a quick scratch, but remained unfazed.

“Hmm. Can’t make any promises since the schedule is pretty loaded..”

After unsuccessfully getting his attention, you could only wager on what could. After ripping out a light snore, it was evident that today’s reports and filings weren’t going to get done anytime soon – be it today or the next several days, for that matter.

You also have to admit - heavy reams of reports and files sounded incredibly unattractive hitting the desk, but you on the other hand..

The soft pass of your legs piling onto the table, you replace the stacks of paper with yourself – some not making it to the floor as neatly as others as the sound of flittering officer reports littered the ground, already blending in with some previous documents that were considered ‘done’ for the day as far Kuzan cared.

“I know it’s not my place, sir, but I do have a better idea – if you don’t mind my say so.”

“Oh?”

Confirming any pique in interest, Kuzan allowed the sleeping mask to slink back behind his hair and refocused his eyes to rest on you.

“Instead of all of this boring paperwork, maybe..” you coyly suggested an alternative as his cool gaze set you ablaze – causing you to trail off. Slowly and thoroughly, with every minute passage of time of giving you his focus, his eyes chilled you to the core – much like when ice slowly creeps up to fully envelope you in frost – but ironically enough, warm to the touch.

“Mmm you have my attention, Y/N.” Kuzan affirmed – his head fixed into his wide palm and a small smile daring to sneak onto his lips.

Feigning any type of innocence that lay in your words, you waggle one of your legs that you allowed to drop off the table in rhythm with your finger as you tapped it against your chin -  continuing on with your little ruse. Part of you felt like you had to move to make sure you weren’t imagining things – like possibly he froze you in place with his devil fruit. And then the other part of you had to move to make sure you kept his interest and this plan in motion.

“Erm, well, what do you think of this?”

You can’t drop the ball now that you have his attention – no, especially now that he’s fully focused on every move you’re making.

“I just figured, that, well, maybe you’d prefer to file your fingers through this instead,”

Right as you shifted your weight to slink back down onto your feet, curious but desirous eyes followed after you – not missing a single step, shift or shake of your mesmerizing movement. The hand that once held his face seemed to reach out to you as Kuzan readjusted himself in his seat - looking forward to much more exciting and worthwhile activities other than paperwork.

It only required Kuzan few steps to move anywhere in his office, but it required a little more for you, and Kuzan welcomed the sight and the extra ‘steps’ you take in order to get things done. Picking up where his hand halted, his eyes lay upon you to track where you were headed next.

With a little twirl and a charming smile to match, you stop in front of a filing cabinet; you appear to be taken aback to see that you were being followed by hungry eyes and slightly jump in surprise. Of course, this wins a bigger smile from your boss, and you’re able to catch yourself as you regain composure.

“Well well, what needs my attention other than-“

 As if you were a showcase girl displaying some luxurious merchandise, you extend your arm to grab a cabinet drawer while curling a captivating leg behind you and anchoring the other to the floor – bracing for the thrust of impact coming your way.

“Here.”

Schwoosh!

“These also need to be submitted by 17:00 hours and they’re already penned and signed where need be by me.” You beam as the file cabinet sprang open to showcase the other backlogged files needing tending to by Kuzan. Today.

“Not cool, Y/N.”

An immediate drop in his countenance matched the chill in the room as his eyes lay upon the ungodly sight of even more paperwork filling the office space, which should be an impossibility at this point.

Aokiji heaved a heavy sigh of disappointment.

“Not cool.”

[clumsyexpression]

Headcanons ~ Would You Still Love Me if I Was a Worm?

Totally Legit Headcanons that Actually Happened or Not Yet | Chapter 12

*Steve Harvey Voice* Fellas, if your S/O asked you, "Would You Still Love Me if I Was a Worm?", your response would be: *hand slaps the buzzer*

“Call me an early bird, then B) ”

Sanji, Ace, Marco, Franky, Rayleigh

“Hεll yeah babe, imma carry you around in a little terrarium in a Mason jar :)”

Ace, Sanji, Corazon, Usopp, Franky

“Well.. What size? Like, earthworm size or would you be a human-sized worm?“

Luffy, Franky, Usopp

“If you were a tape worm, I would eat all your favorite foods so you get to grow and be happy c:”

Ace, Usopp, Luffy

"Am I a worm, too? Are we human worm couple? Could you talk?"

Luffy, Ace, Usopp, Sabo

“If you’re a worm, then I’m a worm.”

Sanji, Shanks

“Uhhh…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Corazon, Marco, Sabo, Zoro

"Were you always a worm or did you turn into one?"

Luffy, Ace, Sabo, Franky

“I’d love you for who you were, but I couldn’t have a fulfilling relationship with a worm. I’ll make sure youre comfortable in your compost bin and throw you some orange peels once in a while and sprinkle you with the hose when it’s a Friday or special occasion.”

Marco, Killer, Kin’emon

“Of course - I’d be hooked on you. ;)”

Sanji, Ace, Franky, Shanks

“No darling, I would not still love you if you were a worm. I would feed you to a bird.”

Katakuri, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Buggy

"No, because you won't be able to smile to me in the morning. I won't be able to hold your hand or kiss you goodnight. We won't be able to do a lot of things we love each other for. Also, worms are really hard to fuck."

Sanji, Kid, Marco

"No."

Law (like, the question in of itself offended him lmao), Zoro, Crocodile, Smoker, Mihawk, Buggy, Who's-Who

"Would you still love *ME* if you were a worm?"

Ace, Usopp, Franky

"You're not a worm. You are you. And I love you for who you are. Not what you are not."

Sanji, Corazon, Mihawk

"I'll find out if you become one."

Ace, Katakuri, Marco, Hawkins, Killer

"That's the dumbest question I have ever been asked."

Zoro, Law, Crocodile, Smoker, Buggy

“Yes cause I will c** deep in that wormhole ;)”

Sanji, Ace, Kid

[clumsyexpression]

⤪1 condition⤨

hi so i sometimes wonder about certain articles of clothing when it's səxy time and where they go.

from what i've read so far, i haven't had this question answered so i'm thinking this is how it goes??

Before you knew it, any and every type of kiss he had to offer was peppered down your jawline and all around your neck as he was making true to his word that you would be smothered in all that he was holding in. He would make it all too evident just how much he had to restrain himself around you, and could only hope you were ready for it.

A gloved finger caressed your chin and down to your ear – handling your face with utmost care as if to brace for impact from the incoming pounding coming your way.

He noted how you slightly recoiled from his touch, but could only assume were just that hot and bothered by the sensual charge he had been working up in you. He could only try to suppress how much he wanted to unload at once, and so a shy smile began to peek on the corner of his lips.

Another pass of his gloved finger separated your lips, eliciting a gasp from you by his boldness. The reticent smile he had  been holding back cracked into a playful smile, but soon withered into concern once he realized that you didn’t seem to be enjoying yourself as he thought you were.

“Are those..coming off?” you asked incredulously, gently but deliberate in laying his hand at the side of your thigh.

“Erm, well, of course, if you give me less than a second to do so,” Drake’s smile revitalized at the thought of you doubting he could get you naked any more quicker than what he has. He was trying to be gentleman, but if it’s the beast you want..

“No no, those.” You again drag his hands down from your face as he made another attempt to hold you. “You touch everything with those things, it’s just that..i-I can’t have you touching me after you’ve harbored every single germ Wano has to offer on your hands - your gloves.”

A pause that lasted all of maybe 5 seconds seemed to stretch on to an eternity as Drake held his hands out, palms up; as if assessing whether or not he was even human, or if they were even his hands.

Another stretch of a second passed before Drake’s pensive face stoned into a deadpan pout. His eyes found their way to yours in a pointed bee line – sudden and almost mechanical.

“No.”

“No??”

You were so confused, what did he mean-

“No.”

“Y-you can’t be serious-“

“The gloves stay on.”

You didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t.

Gathering your legs underneath your bottom and sitting up to truly give him your undivided but very confused attention, you lightly scratch at the hair behind your ear, as if maybe any stroke of an idea would help you understand.

“Drake, honey, i-“

“The gloves stay on during sexy time.”

No indication of a lie was detected on his face.

…

Gathering your clothes and something to cover your indecency, you couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes as you scuttled past him - slightly brushing by his cape to flutter behind you as the door whispered shut after the strange debacle it witnessed.

“I gotta go.”

[clumsyexpression]

𐐪Playing it Cool𐑂 -(but failing like hot garbage)-

You know when you try to make yourself look really cool and impress someone but it utterly fails? Yeah... so do they (´・ω・｀)

Ace:

Will pace a burning circle into the ground he walks until there’s an 8ft deep ring.

Will probably rattle off a bunch of corny pick up lines from the 90’s

Ace: “Hey good lookin’ what’s cookin?”

Y/N: “Um, you, I think. The ground has been completely razed from where you’ve been walking..”

Ace: “Aha, yeah, can I get some fries with that shake?”

Y/N: “Ace, you’re on fire and so is the ship, now!”

what 🤷‍♀️ if 🧐 we 👫 kissed 💏 on ⬇️ the moby 🐳 dick 🍆  while 💬 the whole island 🏝and ship ⛵burned and pops 🤠 held 🤝 me  💑 hostage 🔐 to prevent 🚫 this ☝🏽 from happening 💫 again ♻ this week 💦💢ahhh

Law:

Can't feel if he’s shooting enough daggers at you, so he ends up scrunching his face up like he’s really holding in the bubble guts

Tries to ignore you completely but ends up roping you into every conversation since you’re already on his mind

Law: “Tch, I bet Y/N doesn’t has the slightest clue when it comes to Krebs Cycle.”

Law: “I dare Y/N to even take a step in this direction – I’ll just move move my head indignantly in *this* direction to look even more aloof.”

Penguin: “Law what the fuck are you going on about?”

He likes to watch you from a distance but does a very poor job at concealing himself within the bushes from across the way since the pair of binoculars he’s using keeps reflecting the lens glare straight into your eyes, revealing his exact location and the dubious Bepo costume he’s been wearing to blend in with the natural fauna of the area

Katakuri:

Even though he’s eyeing you down and looks super intimidating, underneath that scarf he looks like:

⠀               __

         (⁄ ⁄•⁄vWv⁄•⁄ ⁄)

       ＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿

    /　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　 \

 ( 　(三ヽ人　 /　 　|

|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ

ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿／

          ｜( 王 ﾉ〈

           /ﾐ`ー―彡\

Despite how imposing his figure is, occasionally you'll find his hand beside your face, offering you a donut or cookie

In few words, he’ll inform you what kind it is since it’s never the same flavor

“Dark chocolate raspberry. It’s good.”

“Ice cream batter.”

“Snozzberry. My personal recipe. Try it.” (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Kid:

Kid: “Y/N? Never heard of them.”

Kid: “Oi, check this out – no one can do this better than me!”

*scatters trash all over the place*

Kid: “I can totally tell if you have a cow magnet in your stomach right now”

Killer: “Kid, what the fuck?? Don’t?”

Kid: “So you’re saying there’s  a cow magnet in there. That’s fine, keep your not-so-secrets, Y/N.”

Rosinante:

Depends on what side of his job you meet him on, but disastrous all the same

If you meet him as Corazon, he’ll try to be mean but in a cool way that he thinks people likes

Will decorate flashcards beautified just for you that will read as:

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: bitch :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧, ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚ass goblin˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ, ·̩̩̥͙＊•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚beth˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚＊·̩̩̥͙

You have no idea why he keeps calling you that and he doesn’t understand why you keep punching him for it

As a marine, his generosity is a bit more transparent, along with his romantic gestures and intent

He’ll outright pick you some flowers, which, of course, are poisonous and only then will he discover the creeping rash on his arms as he hands them to you

It would not be the first time he buys you a snack or pay for lunch and the chef wanted to be a lil trifling that day and you find some hair or things-that-should-be-attached-to-your-persons-and-not-found-in-my-food in your food.

Sanji:

Begins to speak fluent French and can only operate in romantic gestures

Will throw down any garment he may be wearing in order for you to walk over a puddle, mud, trash, etc

…sometimes that means Chopper if he’s riding his head or nearby at the time of your passage

Y/N: "Sanji, are you okay? You don’t have to do all that – this toilet paper is just fine, silly."

Sanji: "Es-tu sûr??"

Y/N: "Yes, but thank you. A face towel is a bit much."

Sanji: *sighs in French disappointment as you unknowingly decline to use Zoro’s face towel as toilet paper*

Zoro:

Would be even more of an awkward dork than he already is and would stumble over the limited amount of words he’s capable of speaking

Zoro: “Oi, Y/N. Eyes.”

Y/N: “Eyes? What do you mean?”

Zoro: “Like them. Nice.”

Y/N: “..thanks, Zoro.”

Zoro: “….ass ass ass ass ass ass ass”