coalition-system

[coalition-system]

Hi! On anon for my safety, but I saw the ISSTD tweeted smth on the etiology of DID and I wanted to know your thoughts on it? Mostly for processing’s sake as well, as I can struggle with understanding studies now and then

The link to the paper! http://ow.ly/r40x30mZF79

The paper is Revisiting the etiological aspects of dissociative identity disorder: a biopsychosocial perspective. A very good one that I recommend to anyone interested in the causation of DID! I don't think I can do it justice if I tried to summarize the entire thing, so I'll just write down some bullet points of things I found interesting:

What is DID?: 

DID is a complex, posttraumatic, developmental disorder that is caused by trauma in childhood (usually very early childhood).

What causes DID?:

DID arises when a child’s ability to develop an ordinary sense of self in relation to others is impeded by unintegrated trauma.

Emotional neglect by parents and/or siblings is the strongest predictor of DID (and any other dissociative disorder).

More covert trauma such as dysfunctional communication in families or subtle emotional neglect can lead to milder presentations DID.

DID VS PTSD:

Switching between alters is considered to be a more elaborated version of PTSD intrusions & avoidance.

People with PTSD & DID generally experience the same amount of feeling shame, betrayal, self-blame, anger and fear.

People with DID tend to experience more feelings of alienation, loneliness, and disconnection than people with PTSD.

DID VS normal experiences:

The human mind is naturally made up of multiple interconnected “modes” that make up their whole self.

Trauma & dissociation causes modes to become decoupled and start existing in smaller, isolated pockets.

In DID, the modes have become so disconnected that individual modes start functioning as if they, independently from each other, are the whole self.

In a non-DID brain, new modes are always being created and old modes are always being updated.

In DID, this process is impaired. New modes are created in a disjointed way, and old modes don't get updated correctly if at all.

[coalition-system]

Think systems with a high number of fictional introjects are a new phenomena? Kluft's paper on polyfragmented/extremely complex DID from 1988 includes a patient with LOTR introjects, and another based off of Shakespear's Tempest. Fictional introjects have been a thing for a very long time!

[coalition-system]

Anyone have any advice on how to help a persecutor with some pretty effed up thoughts vent?

I'm kind of afraid of the fact he can front and use google/has an account here... I thought about giving him a journal, but if anyone found that... oh god.

So, I don't know what to do. I almost feel like tumblr drafts, with things redacted, is the safest (won't flag anything).

But does anyone else have a better idea?

[coalition-system]

[coalition-system]

You don't have to hate being a system. Sometimes it's really comforting not to be the only person in your head. Being able to switch out when you need it, getting support from other alters, joking within the system, or even just the knowledge that you have others to rely on, can all be relieving and reassuring.

You aren't faking your trauma or your system if you feel like this, if you enjoy making or seeing content about being friends with the other alters, or if you feel that your healing journey is going quicker than you expected. You and your system are still deserving of respect, and your trauma was still "bad enough" if you don't hate being a system.

[coalition-system]

We're Here And Thriving

Finally got the chance to read through JustAnotherSyscourse's recent post about the things being said about endogenic systems being "role models of healthy multiplicity." Fully agreed. We already have role models.

We are the role models. We do not need endogenic systems to be our role models. So, in effort of spreading positivity and reassurance for others out there:

Please! Share your experiences as functional DID systems. Share your experiences as functional multiples.

For me:

I'm a 25 year old system who is engaged to a wonderful person. I have 13 alters at the moment, and I've come to accept the trauma I experienced as a child. I've come to recognize that the trauma I experienced wasn't my fault - and furthermore, that blaming someone won't help me anymore anyways. Instead, I work through it daily, and I am proud of myself for it.

I work each day as a middle school teacher. I went through 4 years of college, got a degree, and became a full time teacher quickly. I have overcome numerous triggers, and still have to deal with others daily, just for the pleasure of trying to help students survive what was so difficult for me.

I've been in therapy for a year now, and moved out from my parents a little longer ago than that. I got myself out of my situation (not without a lot of help from friends and love alike), and I am flourishing. I have a house, a cat, a job. I get to eat out when I like - god, I get to eat, just whenever I want!

My communication has only gotten better. We've begun blending without distress, happy to be ourselves, however that looks. We have a healthy long term goal (functional multiplicity) that we are steadily working toward each day. Therapy has become less flooding and more sharing the best aspects of my day, celebrating the good I do and the good that occurs to me.

I love who I am. I love who I've grown to be. I am happy to be a system, and I love my many parts. I would never change who I am at this moment in time, even if I wish I hadn't experienced the trauma I did.

I am happy and functional. Isn't that the goal?

Please. Feel free to reblog and share.

[coalition-system]

fun fact: you do not need to know what alter is fronting right now. your friends do not need to know what alter is fronting right now. you do not need to proxy every single discord message or sign off every single post. if that helps your system, then great! but do not expect all systems to work the way yours does

[coalition-system]

Sure. I'll hop on this trend.

DID isn't just friends in your head.

While yes, I love my system like family and we have good times together, that doesn't mean that these good times are the whole experience.

DID is having alters that don't know how to express that they care about you due to never being cared about themself.

DID is having some alters who hate themselves so deeply that its hidden from who they are on the surface.

DID was having to do horrible shit just to keep yourself alive and now living with severe survivor's guilt.

DID is being more prone to migraines.

DID is remembering a life no one else seems to remember.

DID is not remembering the current life you're living.

DID is having some alters who don't know how to cope with their trauma so they bury themselves in drugs.

DID is having some alters who don't know how to keep living. Genuinely thinking they'd be dead by now.

DID is being naturally selfish and mean because its what you had to be to survive.

DID is being a clueless child within your own mind, unsure why your friends break down and sob for no apparent reason.

DID is being excluded and punished for trying to simply exist with other people.

DID is not only not recognizing your own body, but not recognizing your own species.

DID is thinking you've got all the trauma figured out only for more to resurface.

No one should WANT DID. If you want DID... no you don't. You want a community. You don't want to live like this. I live like this because I have to. It was necessary for me to survive.

[coalition-system]

Dear fellow traumagenic systems:

[coalition-system]

I've seen this article around

But I wasn't planning on talking about it until...

Holy crap

[coalition-system]

Had an interesting conversation and I wanted to talk about it. This is a conversation mainly about dysfunction and distress, and ways it presents-- and how you, personally, don't need to be either to still be disordered. SO.

I don't find DPDR episodes to be distressing.

In fact, I would even go so far as to say that in the vast majority of episodes, I enjoy the experience (especially now that I understand what's happening, and the why and how).

No feels, no cares, no existence-- not me, not my life, not my problems. I appreciate the ability to go away for a while from my overwhelming emotions.

And that's SUPER dysfunctional of me, even if I enjoy it and I'm not distressed by it, because I should be able to handle minor stresses without dissociating to high hell-- and worse, enjoying it (behavioral addiction ftw).

But you know who DOES find these episodes to be distressing? My partner, especially when it happens when we're out and about doing things, when he needs us--any of us, all of us, to be there, in the moment, functionally doing adult things with him.

He doesn't need the added stress and work of leading around a floating, vaguely fussy zombie while pushing a cart full of food and trying to sort out the financial part of what's looking to be a couple hundred dollar grocery trip.

Any distress I might feel about these episodes is purely in regards to my partner's negative reactions to them.

He does his best, and he tries hard not to be upset, but I know he is, and sometimes it results in an argument and hard feelings.

This social dysfunction matters.

While I am personally fine (even happy), my symptoms have effects that create dysfunctions in my relationships and with/in other people in my life, and that's just as important to the diagnostic process.

I think it's very much ignored by the communities as an avenue of discussion. I think it gets lost in the conversation of validity and under this general feeling of... The world should cater to us (not in a negative way, just as a general statement). But it shouldn't, and we shouldn't be allowed to just do whatever we want, effects on others be damned.

Like, I don't often see conversations in the system community about dysfunction in positive, healthy relationships. There's lots of discussion around unhealthy relationships with parents and siblings, etc, but not how our symptoms affect the people we care about and those who want to see us get better.

I would even go so far as to say that the opinions and needs of others (like partners) are often ignored in the conversation of dysfunction and distress.

We all act like it's about us, us, us, but we forget that the way our behaviour and symptoms effects others is just as important in the diagnostic process and the discussion of functionality.

I would love to hear others' stories and thoughts on this.

[coalition-system]

Does anyone else feel like their system is broken?

I’m the host and I love my alters but most of them vibe in the headspace and only occasionally front when I need them to, and we rarely cofront anymore, just fully switch.

I have 1 alter that I have more amnesia with whose role is more like what alters are “supposed” to do—like he’ll front if I can’t function, and then let me back out when I can.

Anyone else have this? Did I mess up my brain by being able to switch with alters by going in and asking them to front? Idk.

[coalition-system]

• this system splits often •

[coalition-system]

About Polyfragmentation.

Here is a master list of all posts I have made regarding polyfragmentation: Definition of Polyfragmented (in DID)

Polyfragmentation - a breakdown of scientific sources.

Polyfragmentation: DID vs OSDD

Personal experiences of Polyfragmented DID

All posts are tagged with #polyfragmented

  I began looking into this subject because an anon asked me for information about polyfragmented DID. This is a major subject with VERY little concrete information available.

I have been unable to find any information on how common polyfragmentation is, or how it occurs. This is because there is so little information out there from academic resources.

Most information about polyfragmented DID is gleaned from sidenotes - I have not been able to find/access any studies that were specifically focused on polyfragmented DID.

Please feel free to reach out if you have sources which I haven’t addressed in the above posts. My DMs are open, and anon asks are turned on. For accountability, here are the anon asks which led me to post about polyfragmentation: Anon ask 1 Anon ask 2 (follow up)

[coalition-system]

I will NOT introject a character from this media I'm about to watch. My brain is NORMAL and will not introject everything we see.

[coalition-system]

Polyfragmentation - a breakdown of scientific sources.

This post will contain links to academic papers and/or books which make reference to polyfragmented DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). Some of these works still use the term “MPD” or “Multiple Personality Disorder”, which is now outdated. Because many of these are quite long, I decided to make individual posts for each one. In each post the most relevant sections from the source will be quoted, along with the link to the source itself. Please feel free to reach out with any sources which I haven’t included, or reblog using the same format ; i.e., link to the source, title of the source, any relevant information (such as author, year of publication). Quotes of particular interest from the source are encouraged. The posts are titled “Breakdown of scientific sources“, and are listed here: - The BASK Model of Dissociation - 1988

- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder. - 1988

- Incest-related syndromes of adult psychopathology. - 1990

- The Osiris complex: case studies in multiple personality disorder. - 1994

- Understanding and Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder A Relational Approach. - 2011

- Measuring fragmentation in dissociative identity disorder: the integration measure and relationship to switching and time in therapy. - 2014

[coalition-system]

DID isn’t just “alter disorder” it comes with a huge amount of severe dissociation (detachment/depersonalization/derealization) on a regular hour to hour basis, c-ptsd (flashbacks, panic attacks, severe anxiety, depression, etc) a warped view of time (or time passing), as well as a loss of time / memory (amnesia), migraines or psychosomatic pain / feelings (pnes can be comorbid), can come with symptoms of psychosis due to severe trauma, can cause catatonic dissociation, etc etc. It’s also not uncommon for systems to have comorbid / other disorders like OCD, BPD, etc.  DID isn’t just “having alters” it’s so much fucking more than just that, and I’m sick of people only thinking of the “alters” aspect and not the parts that just as hard, if not sometimes harder, to deal with.