cobaltcorpse-blog1

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Shrek the Musical Sentence Starters

froggedmouth:

“Listen ____, you’re growing up so quickly!” “Although we want you here, the rules are very clear.” “So it’s time to go away!” “You’re gonna make us proud, no backing up allowed!” “Just keep walking and then you’ll find somewhere to go.” “It’s a big, bright, beautiful world with happiness all around.” “It’s peaches and cream, and every dream comes true… but not for you!” “Just around the bend there’s a friend or two.” “You’re ugly, ____, which means that life is harder.” “People hate the things they cannot understand.” “When they look at us, they tend to make a fuss!” “It’s important that you find a cozy cesspit, a place no one would ever dare to tread.” “And if they happen by, make sure to terrify them.” “If you don’t, you’ll surely wind up dead!” “Watch out for men with pitchforks.” “Take your fluffy fun and take it where the sun don’t shine!” “I prefer a life like this.” “It’s not all that complicated.” “I’m fated to be lonely and I’m destined to be hated.” “Being liked is grossly overrated!” “There’s a princess in a tower!” “That’s just like me.” “Poor ____ needs a haircut.” “The witch won’t set her free.” “She passes time by singing like someone else I know.” “As years go by, she sits and waits. Years go by? Uh-oh!” “A torturous existence–” “–I don’t remember this part!” “She wishes she were dead?!” “Skip ahead, skip ahead!” “In the end, _______ finds a millionaire.” “The prince is good at climbing, and braiding golden hair.” “I know he’ll appear ‘cause there are rules and there are strictures.” “I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight.” “My white knight and his steed will look just like these pictures!” “It won’t be long now, I guarantee.” “I know it’s today!” “There’s a princess in a coma.” “Glad it’s her instead of me!” “How, I wonder, does she pee?” “Blah, blah, blah, blah. Poison apple, boring boring, evil queen.” “Filler filler, been there, read that. Seven shorties on the scene.” “In the end the princess wakes up with a start!” “The prince is good at kissing and melting Snow White’s heart!” “I know he’ll appear and his armour will be blinding!” “He’ll propose on one knee, and our prenup will be binding.” “About time we set a wedding date.” “They’re all like me.” “I’m still waiting.” “They’re out living happily.” “Ever after better get here, I want love in seconds flat.” “Cut the villains, cut the vamping. Cut this fairytale!” “I may seem a bit bipolar.” “Am I a vandal now as well? Hope he won’t mind.” “I’m a find! I’m a catch. And a very gifted bowler!” “I guess I’d be a hero, with sword and armour clashing.” “And looking semi dashing, a shield within my grip.” “Or else I’d be a viking and live a life of daring, smelling like a herring upon a viking ship.” “I’d sail away, I’d see the world, I’d reach the farthest reaches.” “I’d feel the wind, I’d taste the salt and sea and maybe storm some beaches!” “That’s who I’d be.” “I could be a poet and write a different story. One that tells of glory and wipes away the lies.” “To the skies I’d throw it, the stars would do the telling.” “The moon would help with spelling, and night would dot the ‘I’s.” “I’d write a verse, recite a joke, with wit and perfect timing.” “I’d share my heart, confess the things I yearn, and do it all while rhyming.” “I’d be a hero, and if my wish was granted life would be enchanted, or so the stories say.” “Of course I’d be a hero, and I would scale a tower to save a hot-house flower and carry her away.” “Standing guard would be a beast, I’d somehow over whelm it,” “I’d get the girl, I’d take my breath, and I’d remove my helmet.” “We’d stand and stare, we’d speak of love, we’d feel the stars ascending!” “We’d share a kiss, I’d find my destiny.” “I’d have a hero’s ending, a perfect happy ending…” “That’s how it would be.”

[cobaltcorpse-blog1]

Santa Clarita Diet Starters

Change pronouns as desired

"No matter what, we fuck stuff up together"

"You know what you're good at? Being my bitch, because that's what you are."

"I fucking love kites, in the fucking sky with all the fucking clouds"

"Negotiations went down so I just hit him on the head with the shovel"

"Are you high?"

"I love coffee, I mean think about it, it's a bean that you drink"

"You've killed twice as many people as I have"

"Take it from me, I was a monster in elementary school."

"Suck my fucking dick"

"Men can kill too"

"Did you also kill the man in our downstairs freezer?"

"We've already established that we aren't considerate people"

"Fucking dogs. They're the greatest."

"I made killing seem normal but it's so not normal."

"You never know when your neighbor will kill you with a shovel"

"Hey murderers let's go to the beach"

"We are such assholes"

"We've made a lot of mistakes as parents but we've never taken our kid to a murder. I think we should hold firm on that."

"I'm so sorry, but I don't give a fuck about your problems"

"I'm so glad we were going to stab you in the brain, we have so much in common"

"Sure, I did karate as a kid"

"We've met twice and both times I was trying to kill you."

"1.. 2.. and I'll just put it right here. That's good."

"It wasn't easy. I puked twice. Also I think we should throw out the pasta maker."

"What's with the door, man? You totally fucked up our door!"

"We have to kill him we have no other choice"

"At least we'll die together"

"Maybe I'll just have sex with my socks on"

"Get ready to have the opposite of what a boner is"

"The fuck is that?"

"You don't have to sexualize everything"

"Hey, it can happen to any-- well, anybody is probably too broad of a category when talking about murdering someone with a shovel."

"I refused to be defined by the one time I murdered someone."

"He kept pushing me and pushing me and I just snapped"

"The secret is I don't give a shit"

"Check it out, I got a churro saber"

"Nice job blending in you handsome good-haired son of a bitch"

"What are you saying, you're dying?"

"Maybe we're both different people now"

"Kanye says never to apologize for your creative choices."

"I get to make an elderly woman throw up in a bucket which might be somebody's turn on but it's not my thing."

"You attacked me for not being emotionally available, imagine what you'd do to a cop!"

"I've know you what, five minutes? and already I'd rather have you kill me"

[cobaltcorpse-blog1]

(i’m gonna reblog a bunch of ask memes)

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Michael Jackson - Thriller

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zombie AU

i dunno i just want to draw this so look at this messy doodle h a h a

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(i can’t find the song t.hriller here on tumblr wtf)

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14inner:

cobaltcorpse:

@14inner

(i’m so confused h ow did i pun,,)

squints @ u

(oh...

OH)

[cobaltcorpse-blog1]

@14inner

(i’m so confused h ow did i pun,,)

[cobaltcorpse-blog1]

(i think zombie kara would still be as painful as ever...

just

...deadlier)

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(welp things are set up now)

[cobaltcorpse-blog1]

(i need to set stuff up here,,)

[cobaltcorpse-blog1]

You're fighting for your life inside a killer thriller, tonight!