falselysecuredeuphoria

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

All the years I've been on the internet has led me to conclude that Tumblr is the best social media platform and yet I've been on it the least, with facebook being my second least used.

Please Tumblr, forgive me for my heresy! Help me become a Tumblr lurker!

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Re:Teyvat - A Genshin Impact fanfic oneshot

A bedridden young Oni and long-lived Kitsune on a stool sat in a room. The Kitsune exerted a pressuring gaze on the young Oni.

“Tell me little oni, how much do you know about this world?”

“Umm…”

Hesitation quivered in his voice.

She looked at his eyes. They were pointed at the sheets he was under, but they had this distance behind them.

A question asked merely to tease the young Oni Reincarnation quickly devolved into a looming omen.

How much could you know about the story that is Teyvat?

The Kitsune couldn’t help but wonder what the Oni was thinking. A mix of curiosity and dread welled within her.

Does he know about her personal life? The people she holds dear in her heart despite hiding such vulnerabilities under the facade that is a mischievous Kitsune?

Her predecessor who used to attend the Sacred Sakura Shrine before-

“Just ask me!”

Huh?

“I uhm… I can’t tell you everything I know just yet, but if you want to gauge my knowledge, just ask me some questions!”

Ask? Gauge?

Yae Miko was perplexed by the Oni’s demand. She couldn’t tell if this was a calculated choice or an idiot’s blunder.

No.

She recalled the look in his eyes when she asked how much he knew.

Perhaps he was already planning on how to navigate this world the moment they began speaking. If that were the case, then this could either be the best investment she’s ever made or the most costly mistake of her entire career.

She couldn’t be certain, but that’s what made life all the more exciting.

And who knows, maybe she could learn a thing or two that would greatly improve her company’s future novels.

---

Feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Some fanfic idea I had:

“U wanna?” “'U wanna' what?” “You wanna pull on deez nuts?” “…” “Deez nuts jokes coming at you from another dimension at LIGHTSPEED! No matter where or when, always expect them!” --- “There’s actually a really popular band in my world called Imagine Dragons.” “What are they like?” “Imagine Dragons deez nuts on your face.” “Damn it.” “Lightspeed!” --- “In the Magicians by Lev Grossman, the main cast of characters end up travelling to the fictional world of _Fill-yor._” “What’s Fillyor?” “FILL YOUR MOUTH WITH DEEZ- NO WAIT!” “Stop acting childish.” “I lied, it’s not actually pronounced Fillyor, it’s Fill-or-y. The title of the books inspired by the world is called Fillory and Further.”

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Ruining your day by putting these thoughts in your head:

Putting food coloring in guacamole.

Brushing your teeth with egg yolks.

Throwing away ramen seasoning.

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

5000 likes!

Cool

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Person B: Breathing! It’s like crying, but less wet.

Person A: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

5 min tutorial for trcelyne, hope it helps! 

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

A bartender walks into a bar and asks the clerk, "hey where is the fire extinguisher?" The clerk replies "sorry, the drill sergeant took it to the BBQ." So the bartender got on his unicycle and pedaled all the way to Antartica.

When he got there, he was greeted by a penguin asking directions to the nearest beach. He replied "sorry madam it's fall season, that's when the frogs start flopping."

He rented a pair of skis and started ascending Mt. Everest in hopes of obtaining the holy pull pin. The bartender was stopped by a fat woman with a colorful tank top and white shorts.

"Excuse me, do you know where the cacti garden of accepted bigotry is?" He replied "take the next submarine to the entrance of the nearest underwater volcano." She thanked him and took a bus to China.

When he reached the top, he pocketed the golden pulling pin and did a backflip of the mountain and landed in a school of sheepish, who took him all the way back to Florida.

He found the used extinguisher by the sergeant and inserted the golden pin. When he squeezed the handle, the extinguisher opened and appeared former president Barack Obama.

"Welcome to the nexus" spoke Obama.

The end

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

I am going to make that novel

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

B: Well it's quite obvious you've doused yourself in fake blood.

A: Please don't tell me you know what blood looks like actually.

B: Well...

A: *scared by the implication* Don't tell you've killed someone! Or worse...PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU LIKE HURTING YOURSELF!?

B: What? No, I'm not a masochist.

A: *sigh of relief*

B: I think

A: B!!!!!?!?!

B: Calm down! I know what blood looks like because I've had nosebleeds, nothing serious.

A: BLOOD CAN COME OUT OF YOUR NOSE?

B: YOU'RE LEARNING ABOUT THIS NOW?

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Some enemy: What in the world is that sword?

Some Maniac: AETHEREAL AESTHETIC BITCH! *stabs them*

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Don't mind me, just giving good advice to people in scenarios I've imagined.

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

me_irl

[falselysecuredeuphoria]

Adorable!

payback✨ (late happy birthday chongyun)