cobawrites

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 8

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mental Health Problems. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental health problems from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

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A/N: Giggled and kicked my feet SO MUCH as I wrote this chapter! Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

(God, this was so self-indulgent… My touch-starved is showing </3)

                                             A Gust of Wind

                                                Chapter 8 

Vash gave a whole new meaning to taking someone’s breath away. You struggled for air with muffled wheezing as he smothered your face into the crook of his neck, pressing his hand to the back of your head, crushing your chest against his, squeezing until he could no longer feel your warm, strangled puffs of breath against his skin. He repeated his words like a mantra. You came back… You came back…

Yes, you came back, but this was not the welcome you expected, nor deserved. His touch, like fire, burned hotter than Marlene’s. As he continued to melt your body into his, something hard and metal on his chest dug into your skin painfully, sure to leave a couple of dark bruises come tomorrow. This small atonement for your sins was all that kept your tears from streaming down your cheeks.

You were dizzy, sore, and blue in the face by the time Vash loosened his grip, giving you just enough room to expand your chest once again. His face was inches from yours as you took deep breaths, and his own ragged panting invaded your lungs. His eyes, beautifully dazed, fixed upon yours.

You would have given anything to gaze into those eyes of his again, the ones that saw through you in the way that, up until now, only your mother had. The ones that carried the same distinct taint of some deeply rooted sadness, of something that could leave anyone feeling othered, and utterly alone. And here they were, those familiar eyes, like home, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to look.

“I’m sorry…” you said in a small voice, your face turned away from his. It was all you could manage. You hadn’t had time to think about what you would say once you found him. Your thoughts up to now were thoroughly preoccupied with deceiving the townsfolk and planning his escape. And besides, you’d be a liar if you denied the fact that you were simply terrified of how this conversation might go. You didn’t want to think about all the awful things you were so sure he’d say to you, and rightfully so. Despite his overwhelming, bone-crushing affection upon seeing you again, you still waited with bated breath for his response.

“Sorry?” Vash’s grip loosened a little more, his hands sliding to your shoulders. “Sorry about what?”

You couldn’t help yourself any longer. A shaky sob escaped your lips. Your hand flew to your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sounds you could no longer hold back. A hasty barricade upon a breaking dam.

Suddenly, it was Vash who was comforting you. After everything that happened, beaten, bleeding, and bruised, he was the one comforting you.

And here you were, trying your damned hardest to keep your cries from alerting the gunmen passing by outside. All for what? Because you hurt your own feelings? Because you’d done a horrible thing you should never have done? Because you were the one responsible for every one of the mars on his beautiful face? You deserved every ounce of guilt weighing down upon you. And you certainly didn’t deserve the way his kind hands cradled your body once again.

Your chest heaved painfully as you desperately choked down your cries. You couldn’t help but run your trembling fingertips obsessively along every bloodstained bandage, as if you could somehow brush the lacerations softly away.

His right hand traveled up to your face, cupping your cheek carefully, like newspaper wrapping brittle glass. Vash pressed his forehead to yours, and coaxed your chin gently so that you’d look back at him the way he wanted you to. Finally locked in the gaze you both craved, each of you wondered if the other saw in themselves what you saw in each other.

Without a doubt, this man could read right through you. His soft, yet piercing eyes left not much to the imagination. You were an open book for him to flip through and enjoy. Something about this should have felt so violating, yet there was some relief in the way he turned each one of your pages with such delicate hands, careful not to make a single tear, leaving only the slightest fingerprints of his forefinger and his thumb. It was enough to make you wish he’d turn the pages a little faster.

But who was to say that the words on the pages read the same for him as they did for you? The way he looked at you was angelic and full of love, as if he weren’t staring straight into the eyes of a sinner. What did those pages read? What could they possibly be saying?

And Vash. He paraded with the guise of a paperback, but underneath the decorative sleeve was a hardcover. You longed to touch it, if only to feel the tiny grooves of the leather, before trading away whatever secret scraps of paper you had left for the chance to read the entirety of his first page. There had to be more to this man than what you could see, even now. You wanted to see, and you knew that he wanted you to, as well.

Still, there were parts of him that maybe even he couldn’t read. Chapters he probably skipped every time he opened his book. Chapters he simply refused to recognize. But you did. You at least knew they were there. Perhaps Vash didn’t quite understand the value of the ink on his pretty pages. He would rather feed them to the fire to keep his neighbors warm on a cold desert night than to ever acknowledge that he may be worthy of something softer.

Your fingers ghosted over a particularly bloody bandage, messily tied right over his clothes. Carefully, you unwrapped it. The gash was long, and rather deep, cutting across the side of his torso. It would leave a scar, for sure.

“Take off your shirt,” you whispered, your hands already sliding underneath the hem.

Vash hesitated as you gently started lifting the shirt for him. “I’d… really rather not,” he responded.

Your fingers pressed against his belly as he placed his hand over yours, preventing you from going any further. His skin was surprisingly rough, and… Was that a piece of metal?

You started to back off, but one more look at the wound you had just unbandaged strengthened your resolve. “Let me help you,” you insisted, tensely gripping the edge of the fabric.

Vash swallowed hard, agonizingly contemplating what to say. It made no sense to refuse your help in his current state, but still. His mind raced through all your possible reactions if he were to go through with this. He wasn’t sure if he could bear much more at the moment.

“Please…” you begged, intertwining your fingers with his and gently guiding his hand aside.

He could no longer refuse you. The way you were looking at him made him wish he could repeat this scenario anywhere else, in a safer place, just the two of you. Taking a deep breath, he slowly removed his shirt.

You couldn’t help but gasp a little. Immediately, there was a look of regret on his face, and he almost began to reach for his shirt once again. However, your hands now rested softly along his ribs, catching him by surprise.

You brushed your fingertips, featherlight, over his torso, almost as if in a trance. His skin was covered all over with large scars, burn marks, and even metal bits that appeared to function as prosthetic pieces. What happened to this poor man?

Images from earlier that day crept up in your mind. Was this the price he paid for the sake of people like you? You bit your lip nearly hard enough to draw blood, all in a desperate attempt to keep your composure. This was a vulnerable moment for him, and you would do your best to make him understand just how special he was.

“Oh, Vash…” you breathed, resting your forehead on his shoulder while your hands lightly stroked each and every scar. The way you caressed his sensitive skin, the way you slowly dragged your hands along the marred tissue over his heart… It sent a shiver down his spine. A shiver that coursed right through your own fingertips.

At this, you reeled yourself in, shaking your head a little and turning around to hide a furious blush. His reaction would stay engraved in your memory for quite some time.

Clearing your throat awkwardly, you reached over for the medical supplies in your bag. You could feel Vash’s heavy gaze on your back as you did so. He watched your every move as you retrieved disinfectant and fresh bandages, and relished in how you cleaned his wound so gently. He could barely hold himself back from putting his hands on you again, trying not to get in the way of your work.

“I know it’s hard, but try not to move so much on this side,” you said, double checking to make sure the bandage was snug. “Otherwise, it’ll just keep bleeding through.”

“Mhmmm…” he hummed, although judging by the glazed look in his eyes, it didn’t really seem like he was listening. His hands snaked up your arms as he pulled you close.

Suddenly, you were pulled flush against his chest once again, and his forehead pressed softly to yours. Vash had a big, goofy smile on his face. “I can’t believe you came back.”

You wanted to smile. You really did. But you couldn’t help but feel heartbroken at the way he said those words. They didn’t quite match the look on his face. Instead, you settled for a nod and a light squeeze to his hand.

“Does this mean… you’ll stay?” He asked tentatively, suddenly not looking you in the eyes.

Your heart sank. You didn’t know what to say. Lying crossed your mind, but he probably already knew your real answer from the way you hesitated to respond.

You couldn’t do it again. As much as you cared for him, you could in no way guarantee that you could do it again. You couldn’t vow to stay the way you’d done for your mother. It was a broken promise waiting to happen.

Vash’s fingertips dug into your skin, not quite hard enough to cause pain, but hard enough that it made you look, just to be sure that it was, in fact, his hands gripping you this tightly. You turned your gaze back to him. He still refused to look you in the eyes, but you could see that his expression was pained and pleading.

“Please… Stay…” he whispered softly, his breath on your lips. “If not for me, then…”

His chest heaved slightly before he continued, taking you by surprise. “God… I was so scared. I thought you’d never come back. I thought I had failed you. I thought you would… I thought…”

At this, it was your turn to give him a hard squeeze. “You are not responsible for me, Vash,” you stated firmly, moving your head to look directly into his eyes. You couldn’t keep the frustration out of your voice. “For the love of God, don’t you ever think about yourself?”

“I am thinking about myself!” He retorted, his words dripping in a tone you weren’t used to hearing from him. It nearly made you flinch, but you stood your ground.

“Does letting others drag you into situations where you’ll get the crap beaten out of you count as thinking about yourself, then?” You hissed angrily, trying to keep your voice down. “You were worried about me, but I was freaking out about you, too! You could have died.”

“You could have died, too! In fact, you did almost die the last time, so don’t give me that!” Vash furrowed his brows. His grip on your arms was starting to sting.

“That is my business. Mine, not yours!” You said, attempting to tear yourself away from him, but he only held on even tighter. “Besides, it’s my fault that you even got into this mess to begin with!”

His grip let up and his expression softened. A few moments of silence passed by as he looked at you curiously. “Is that what you think?”

More silence. Once again, you didn’t know how to respond. You knew this was a question you’d keep coming back to, as long as Vash was the one asking. But the answer was obvious, wasn’t it? There was no other way to put it. Your demons would drag you down, and your anchors down with you.

“Listen, I am being selfish, okay?” He breathed softly into your ear, resting his temple on yours. His hands traveled up your back, wrapping you in a gentle hug, attempting to calm you down. He could feel your pulse rising. “Please, let me be selfish.”

“Let you… be selfish?”

“Yes. You said you were sorry, right?” He asked, rubbing your shoulder blades as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck. You nodded slowly. “Well, then don’t ever do that again. Don’t run from me ever again. Don’t leave me, (Y/N).”

His shaky breath felt warm against your skin. The realization was setting in for him. Swallowing your nerves, you gently wove your fingers into his hair, massaging his scalp in apology for the words you couldn’t speak. You hoped he wouldn’t ask any more questions.

Vash sighed heavily. With sudden force, he squeezed you in his arms. It was too tight, too strong to escape. Once again, you could hardly breathe. 

“Well, that’s okay. I won’t let that happen. Ever again.”

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 7

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mental Health Problems. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental health problems from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

First >> Prev. >> Chapter 7 >> Next

                                              A Gust of Wind

                                                 Chapter 7 

Your mind raced as you stood in Marlene’s living room, staring in abject horror at the sight outside the window. Every blow Vash took, so passively and without complaint, turned your stomach. It took everything you had to keep your bile down.

Why wouldn’t he fight? Was it because he thought he couldn’t win? But you’d seen what he was capable of… So why…

Taking a deep breath, you turned to Marlene.

“I just knew something about him wasn’t adding up. I didn’t find out about his bounty until I saw a poster around town,” you said, fighting with the corners of your lips to keep them steady. “I thought I must have been seeing things. He got a bit aggressive about it, so I dropped it, but…”

“That’s okay, dear. You’re safe now,” she replied, pulling you in for a reassuring hug, trying to ease your nervous rambling. “You did the right thing, running from him the second you got the chance.”

Her touch burned. You wanted nothing more than to shove her away and burst right through that door, but you knew better. This was a waiting game, and you would play it right. You leaned into her touch.

“Honestly, I only ran because I was scared… Between the poster, and the gunmen, and his weird attitude when I pointed it out…” You trailed off, holding your head in your hands. “Even then, I wanted to trust him… I wanted to… He just seemed so nice…”

“You trusted your intuition, and it paid off,” said Marlene firmly.

You nodded along silently, using your frustration from the sounds outside to inspire tears in the corners of your eyes. She held you tightly by the shoulders, her expression strict and self-assured.

“He might have taken you hostage if you hadn’t gotten away from him. You see how panicked he was when he ran after you? He’d lost the only leverage he had, and he knew that.”

Marlene’s words made your heart pang. She was right about one thing, at least.

“Well… he’s caught now,” you sighed with a shaky breath, wiping your tears away with the palms of your hands. “What are they going to do with him, now, anyway? They should really be careful. He could still be dangerous.”

Your tone was innocent, and cautious.

“An officer from JuLai will be here sometime soon. They were originally coming to collect leads, but this is even better,” she answered, taking another look out the window. Vash was now face down on the dirt. The men looked just about ready to haul him away. “Hopefully they’ll be able to credit our town with the capture right away. Imagine… Our little town, finally having its very own plant. Wouldn’t that be something?”

Suddenly, there was a knock. One of the men who took Vash down was at the door. “Miss Marlene, we need you at the town hall. We should begin discussing plans for buying the plant.”

Marlene nodded, and left to fetch George from the basement. The man turned to you. “Thank you for not going quietly. That was very brave of you. Not to mention a great help.”

His words turned a knife in your stomach. Trying your best to maintain your composure, you rubbed the back of your neck, acting a bit sheepish.

“I just got scared, really, but I’m glad it worked out.” You barely managed to deliver your words. For the first time in a long time, you thanked yourself for all the years you spent putting up a mask in front of friends and family. At least now you could say that your silent suffering hadn’t been for nothing. The man gave you a sympathetic look.

Marlene emerged from the hallway with little Georgie in tow. He looked around nervously, having obviously heard the commotion outside, even from the basement. He quietly tugged at his mother’s dress, as if he had something to say, but couldn’t bring himself to speak. One look at her angry face gave you a good idea as to why.

Marlene and the man stood in the doorway for a bit before heading out. George peaked from behind her to where Vash had been mere moments ago. His eyes widened in fear, and he quickly tucked himself back behind his mother.

You peaked out the doorway yourself, where you had a better view than you did from the window. There was blood smeared across the ground where the men had beaten Vash earlier. And a lot of it, too. You bit your lip and looked away.

They started heading out the door, and you followed, doing your best not to stare. Georgie tried to do the same, but failed. His wide, innocent eyes couldn’t help but wander to the brutal scene before him. He clutched his mother’s dress a little tighter as he passed it by, his chest heaving. He was trying so hard to keep himself together, and you doubted that his motivation was due to shame.

You eyed Marlene curiously. She still had the same irritated look about her that she did when she returned from the basement.

With a heavy sigh, you reached over to Georgie, patting his head gently, and turning his little face away from the scene. You walked directly next to him, making sure to cover as much of his view as possible. Slowly, he calmed down just enough to prevent any dreaded tears from falling down his face.

When you arrived at the town hall, there was a crowd of people gossiping about what had just happened. You strained your ears, trying to pick up as much information as possible.

There was some commotion from the crowd. A few people were arguing about the state that Vash’s captors had left him in, insisting that they were supposed to keep him alive.

Your blood ran cold. Desperately, you strained your ears a little harder, trying to listen past the deafening pounding of your heart in your ears.

Another member of the crowd argued back, insisting that if he died in JuLai’s custody, it would fall on the military police, therefore having no impact on their bounty reward. All they had to do was keep him well enough until the officer arrived.

What did “well enough” mean? Your nails dug into the palms of your hands, trying to divert the tension in your body away from your face. Anywhere but your face.

Other townsfolk weren’t convinced, and they continued to fight amongst themselves. A few people brought up the already limited number of medical supplies the town had. It would be a shame to have to use any of them on such a despicable man. Several more people agreed. You tapped Marlene on the shoulder.

“Hey, Marlene. I just remembered something that might be of some use to us,” you said, trying to pass off your jittery gestures for excitement. “I think I can help! I’ll be right back!”

Before she could form a full response, you started making your way to where you had dropped your cargo. There had been medical supplies in one of those bags. If you could just have some kind of excuse to visit the infirmary, then maybe you could find Vash.  

Your heart was beating faster and faster. Your plan could easily go up in flames. How were you supposed to free him once you found him, especially if his injuries were as bad as the townspeople made them sound? You let out a shaky breath, trying not to think about the amount of blood you saw on the street. You’d carry him on your back if you had to. Now wasn’t the time for doubt.

The precious seconds were ticking away. You had no idea how long it would be before the JuLai officer arrived to take Vash. You had to act quickly, and without raising suspicion. You ran a million and one scenarios in your head as you b-lined toward the cargo, but none of them seemed to end in success. Still, you had to try.

You finally reached the place where you had dropped the supplies. With trembling hands, you rummaged hastily through the bags. So many things were missing. People had clearly come through here and made off with some of the more expensive items. Managing to find a few remaining medical supplies, you tossed them all into an empty bag. This would have to do. You slung it over your shoulder and started looking around town for the infirmary. You found it several blocks down from the town hall.

Standing in front of the double doors, you took a moment to swallow your nerves before pushing through. The inside of the infirmary was a mess. There was blood all over the floor, and a few armed townspeople were running frantically around the building. You stood completely still, clutching your bag of medical supplies, trying to orient yourself with the situation.

Just what the hell was going on?  

“Hey, you there!” A man’s voice boomed from the other side of the room. You turned to face him. It was one of the captors. “Don’t just stand there! Help me barricade those doors!”

He was hauling a heavy desk your way. Unsure of what else to do, you ran over to him and helped him push.

“What happened here?” You asked, taking the opposite side of the desk and giving it a hard shove.

“The bastard escaped, that’s what!” He grunted. “He knocked out the guards, and slipped away from right under our noses. Now he’s running loose in the building.”

You finished pushing the desk up against the double doors, and the man tossed a small pistol your way.

“He’s armed and dangerous!” He warned. “If you see him, don’t hesitate to blow his goddamn kneecaps off. We’ll see how nimble he is then.”

You nodded without saying a word, wondering how nice it would be to blow that man’s kneecaps off, instead.

“You stay here and guard this exit,” he said, loading a rifle. “I’m going to join the search.”

With that, the man left down one of the halls. Several armed gunmen passed you by, and once everyone who heard the man order you to stand guard was gone, you dashed down the other hall.

You followed the path of smeared blood and unconscious bodies, but it all seemed to lead you in one big circle. You wished you could just call out his name.

But… Would he even want to see you again? After what you’d done to him?

One look at the bodies told you that the blood on the floor wasn’t all theirs. How Vash was managing all this was a mystery to you. But he couldn’t possibly have much time left. You had to hurry.

Picking up your pace, you raced through the halls, your eyes darting everywhere for even the slightest clue as to where he could be. The pain in your left ankle shot up your leg, forcing you to limp as you went. The injury was well on its way to recovery by now, but all this frantic running was putting some serious strain on the still healing tissue. Exhausted and in pain, you limped your way over to rest against the wall for a second.

Suddenly, you heard the click of a door, and before you could turn around, a hand slapped over your mouth, muffling your cries. Another arm wrapped around your torso and hauled you through the door. Shocked, you struggled, causing you both to lose your balance. You fell with a painful thud alongside the culprit. You kicked them away, scrambling back on the floor until you caught a glimpse of a familiar blonde head.

“Vash!” You gasped, but your initial excitement was soon tainted with worry. Blood seeped through the soaked gauze on his forehead. His clothes were all grimy from being dragged around in the dirt, and he was covered in many nasty cuts and bruises. Part of his torso was bandaged messily, with several dark spots staining the cloth. He was so very pale. 

This was all your fault.

So why didn’t he look angry? Why didn’t he have the same miserable expression you now had on your own face?

You wanted to reach out to him so badly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You didn’t deserve to touch him. Not when every single cut and bruise… and whatever was underneath those nasty bandages… was all your fault.

You had repaid him for his kindness in the same way the townspeople had. By spitting right in his face.

Before you knew it, you were shoved against his chest, hardly able to breathe as Vash squeezed the life out of you with all the strength he had left.

“You came back…” he whispered through shaky breaths. “You came back…”

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 6

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mental Health Problems. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental health problems from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

First >> Prev. >> Chp. 6 >> Next

                                           A Gust of Wind

                                               Chapter 6 

You and Vash rode toward the town, mostly in silence. You had been playfully bantering with him for a while as you started the trek back to town, but quite some time had passed since he’d said last anything. He must have been tired after such a long day. You let him be, choosing instead to plan your next move in your head.

How were you supposed to get away from him? After everything that happened…

Vash seemed to have grown ever more vigilant after the events on the ship, and you could still feel his heavy gaze on the back of your neck. It made your hair stand on end, and if he were any less charming than he was, you would have found it even more unsettling.

That’s right. He was a natural-born charmer, and he was unconsciously trying his damned hardest to worm his way into your heart. You turned to steal a glance at him, locking eyes when it turned out that he really was staring right at you this whole time. He offered you a small, warm smile as you whipped your head back around. Damn him.

It was bad enough that he was essentially holding you captive, but you were slowly becoming your own enemy, as well. You couldn’t let that happen. You knew what the consequences were, and you wanted no part of them.

With a heavy sigh, you ran through a few scenarios in your head. You could pretend to be head over heels for him. It wouldn’t be all that hard to do. All things considered, it might even be a little too easy. You swallowed hard and gripped your reigns a little tighter. Your mind replayed the memories of his embrace, and of his breathtaking feat of holding the ceiling over your family’s grave. Like a Roman statue made of the most beautiful marble, carved out by the sculptor of the Farnese Atlas themselves. This… really wouldn’t be hard at all.

Giving your cheeks a firm slap, you forced yourself to quit your daydreaming, and picked up where you left off. You let out another sigh.

Acting like a lovestruck fool might lower his guard, just enough for him to trust that you’d stay willingly. He might be more open to letting you out of his sight this way. And when he did, that’s when you’d slip away. By the time he realized you were gone, it would be too late.

Vash’s seafoam eyes flashed before your mind. His kind, lonely eyes. You shook your head, suddenly dismissing that idea. It was far too cruel, and not just for him. If you were to leave him, this would be the worst possible way to do it.

With a huff, you chewed your lip until you could think of a different way out. You could… Set his thomas free in the middle of the night and ride off on your own. Now, that sounded like a plan. He’d never be able to catch up. After you delivered the supplies to the town, you could ride with him wherever he wanted for a little while, and you’d trick him after a few days of pretending you wouldn’t run.

You mulled it over for a bit, hashing out the details. He was an incredibly light sleeper. Sometimes, you wondered if he really slept at all. Every time you woke up to stretch, you’d return to find that he had shifted positions. And when the anxieties in your chest would refuse you a good night’s rest, and you’d sit up to gaze at the stars, you’d feel a familiar pair of eyes following your every move.

This was going to be difficult.

Your gaze drifted over the endless sea of sand before you. Why did it have to be him? God had sent you an angel, when all you wanted was to grow a pair of wings yourself.

A few days passed, and there wasn’t much further to go until you reached town. The thomases kept a slower pace because of the extra weight from the supplies, but you were almost there. The closer you got to town, however, the faster your heart seemed to beat. There was an uneasy feeling in your stomach, and on the last day, you couldn’t keep anything down at all.

Vash kept offering you jerky, trying again after you had gone the whole day without food. You waved him away for the umpteenth time. You knew that if you tried to take him up on his offer, you’d simply throw it up.

You tried hard to focus on the road ahead of you. You could almost see the town from here, but your vision blurred in and out along with the beat of your heart. A cold sweat gripped you tightly, and your mind was running a thousand thoughts all at once. A dreadful pressure fell upon your chest. You could hardly breathe.

Would you pretend to be in love? Would you sneak away from him at night? Would you simply lose your mind and force his hand? Maybe he’d kill you himself…

Suddenly, you felt a sharp jab on the side of your ribs. You jumped in surprise, turning to find Vash poking you with a stiff package of worm jerky.

“Hey, I know this isn’t exactly gourmet, but I’m worried about you,” he said with furrowed brows. “You haven’t eaten at all since yesterday morning.”

You stared at him, your rapid thoughts slowly coming to a stop. The shock from his jabbing seemed to pull you back into reality if only for a moment, and there was an immediate look of relief in your eyes. Vash raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong? Spill it.” He demanded knowingly. You stayed silent, unsure of what to say. None of your excuses sounded all that credible. “You’re not plotting anything, are you?”

Immediately, the cathartic effect of his jabbing vanished into thin air, and your stomach churned. He seemed to notice something was wrong. “I’m only joking!” He backtracked with a light chuckle, trying to undo the damage.

Of course you were nervous. He could read you like a book, and you were the one holding it open for him. The way you had rubbed about two months’ worth of wear on your reigns in just a few days had not escaped his notice. Your hands gripped the material almost painfully, fingers restlessly rubbing back and forth along the straps. He watched you do it for hours, but chose not to say anything, letting you have this little piece of relief to yourself.

He sighed and gripped the package of jerky tightly. Suddenly, you felt another jab strike your side, much harder this time. With a yelp, you whipped around and snatched the package from him, smacking him over the head with it before tossing it back. Vash laughed and covered his head.

“I’m fine, Goldilocks! Like I said a hundred times already,” you huffed, your anxieties quelled for a precious few seconds. “Quit being so pushy!”

“Okay, okay, you win this round,” he chuckled, putting the jerky away. “But as soon as we get to town, I’m buying us some doughnuts.”

You wanted to smile at his offer, but the sinking feeling in your gut was starting to creep back up again. You felt a tap on your shoulder, and you turned to find Vash pointing at something in the distance.

“Hey, that big rock over there. Do you see it?”

You squinted your eyes. There was a large boulder with a crooked hole in the middle several yards away. “Uh, yeah? What about it?”

“Kind of looks like a doughnut…” he sighed, rubbing his stomach. You raised an eyebrow.

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to be hungry,” you muttered.

“No, I’m serious!” He insisted, pointing excitedly, like a little kid. “I mean, it looks a little funky… And the baker probably skipped their apprenticeship… But I would still eat it!”

You shook your head. Vash pointed at yet another boulder in the distance: a smaller one covered in a thick layer of sand.

“And that one looks like a doughnut hole! Look, it’s even covered with cinnamon sugar!”

You couldn’t help but laugh this time. Was food all he could think about?

“Alright, your turn! What do you see?” He asked, nudging you on the side.

You scanned the desert in front of you, focusing on all the different shapes and colors of the environment. Everything looked the same.

“Uhhh…” You scratched your head, unable to come up with anything. It was just rocks, rocks, and more rocks. One smooth, one with weird, jagged edges, one with tiny holes in it, as if someone had been using it for target practice…

“Actually, do you hear that?” Said Vash, riding a little closer to you. You shook your head, and he leaned in closer still. His voice dropped to a whisper, as if he were sharing his deepest secret. “The sound of the wind rushing by? Kind of sounds like…”

“Doughnuts in a deep fryer!” You shouted.

“Yeah, there you go!” He chuckled, elbowing you playfully.

You felt so silly having jumped aboard the bandwagon like this, but his enthusiasm was simply too contagious. A soft smile came over his face as he watched you lose yourself in a small fit of giggles, the gripping sensation in your chest all but gone. You continued to play along with Vash’s hungry version of “I Spy” until you reached town.

You were still giggling and looking around for the next remotely doughnut-shaped rock as you passed through the gates, but you soon noticed that Vash had stopped playing along. Glancing over to him, you immediately noticed his stiff frame. Snapping out of your playful daze, you took a good look at the town. This was not the place you remembered. The streets used to be crowded with children playing outside, but not a single child was to be seen now.

“(Y/N), listen to me very carefully…” said Vash, holding his arm out, prompting you to stop. You stared at his tense shoulders nervously. He looked rather torn, eyes darting in all directions. “Drop your cargo.”

“What, right here? In the middle of the street?” You asked, confused.

“Yes. Do it. Quickly.” The shift in his tone struck you, and you hesitated. “Hurry up.”

With shaky hands, you quickly unbuckled the bags from your thomas, letting them fall to the ground with a heavy thud. You scanned the empty streets nervously. A couple of men lingered around a street corner, staring the two of you down. One of them held a piece of paper in his hand. Squinting your eyes, you vaguely made out the details.

“Vash the… Stam… pede? Sixty million… double dollars…” your eyes widened with every word you read. You let out a sharp gasp upon seeing Vash’s goofy, smirking face plastered right in the center. You whipped around to look at your companion, but a sudden storm of bullets rained over your heads. Vash gripped you from the straps of your bag and hauled you belly-down over his legs.

“Vash! What in the hell?” You yelled, as his thomas lunged forward at full speed.

“I swear, I can explain!” He yelled back, swerving through the streets, trying to make his way back toward the gates, only to see them being pulled shut.

“Damn…” he grunted, coming to an abrupt stop, and switching directions down an alleyway. “Main gate’s a no-go. They’ve been planning for this…”

Vash tucked you under his arm and hopped off his thomas. He set you down and began passing you some of the items still stored in the saddle bags. “Here, put these in your bag.” You complied, still shocked at the course of events that had just taken place.

“Vash, what the hell is going on?” You hissed, stuffing supplies into your bag. “You didn’t say anything about having a giant fucking bounty over your head!”

He gave you an awkward, apologetic look as he continued emptying out the saddle bags. “I’m sorry…”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose tightly. “I mean, sixty million double dollars? Are you serious? How did that even happen?”

You stared at him, hands on your hips. You had a hard time believing that someone like him could amass such a large bounty. What could he have possibly done?

“Hey, it’s not my fault. I never do anything, yet people are always after me!” He pleaded.

You wanted to believe him, but the logical side of you had your doubts. “Yeah, I bet.”

You rubbed your temples, attempting to soothe your oncoming headache. You were way too exhausted for this.

“It’s okay, we’ll get out of here no matter what,” he said, finishing up his packing. With a gentle push, he sent his thomas away. “Too much noise. Had to let the little guy go…”

You tilted your head. “You could just leave me here, you know… I would only slow you down. I’ve got a clean slate, so I’m worth nothing.” You gestured to your still injured ankle. You were doing much better than before, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Not to me, but nice try,” he huffed, taking a firm hold of your hand, but you stood your ground.

“Vash, I…” you started, but you didn’t know how to finish your sentence. He tugged on your hand again, but you planted your feet stubbornly.

“Listen, (Y/N), this is really not the time.” He groaned. “Don’t do this to me right now…”

“If not now, then… when?” You said, nearly choking on your words, tears welling up in your eyes. “I won’t… I won’t get another chance…”

Taking one last look at his pained eyes, you shoved him away as hard as you could, and bolted out of the alleyway. You glanced over your shoulder to see him hesitantly looking both ways out of the alley, trying to determine if the coast was clear. It wasn’t, and a few men holding weapons had definitely seen you run from that direction. With no time to spare, Vash chased after you as fast as he could.

“(Y/N)! Wait!” He yelled as he dove behind every source of cover in his path while he ran, barely avoiding the rain of bullets coming his way.

You grimaced. This wasn’t what you wanted. You never intended to put him in so much danger with the stunt you pulled. Suddenly, your legs refused to move. No matter how much your brain begged and bargained with you to keep going, the pain in your chest had you utterly torn. You could see a desperation in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before, and you just couldn’t look away.

Without warning, a pair of hands grabbed you by your torso and pulled you inside one of the houses. You shouted and struggled against whoever was holding onto you. They let you go after dragging you a few feet through the doorway, and they quickly went over to shut and lock the door.

“Honey, are you okay?”

A familiar face greeted you. Marlene walked over to a shuttered window to peer outside, then turned her attention back to you. You glanced around in confusion.

“Did that maniac do anything to you?” She asked, a serious look on her face. Her son peaked out from the hallway to check up on the commotion. “George, I told you to stay in the basement!” He jumped at his mother’s harsh tone and scurried off.

“Maniac?”

“Yes, maniac.” She repeated, hands twisting and tugging at the material of her dress. “That monster’s got a sixty million double dollar bounty over his head.”

“No, he didn’t do anything to me…” you affirmed, still attempting to orient yourself. The stress and the running had made you incredibly light-headed, especially on your empty stomach.

“I just found out the other day, or I would never have let him so close to my Georgie.” She said through gritted teeth.

None of this made any sense. The image Marlene was painting looked nothing like the Vash you knew. “I don’t understand. What did he do?”

“That monster is known far and wide as The Humanoid Typhoon, bringing death and destruction wherever he goes. It’s said he steals plants from all kinds of towns for his own profit. And where there are none to steal, he simply slaughters the innocent, discriminating not between man, woman, or child…”

“That… that can’t be right.” You breathed, leaning up against the wall of her living room for support, letting yourself slide down slowly. A wave of nausea hit you hard, and your sight was rather dim. You took your canteen and a half-eaten nutrition bar out of your bag, and put your head between your knees.

“Oh, you’d best believe it. He looks innocent enough, but the JuLai military police have been after him for years.”

“But…” You held your head, trying to bear the dizziness long enough to drink from the canteen and finish the nutrition bar. “We were just out in the desert for days trying to get supplies for you and Georgie. We brought a bunch of non-perishables, and spacecraft parts for you to sell. All he wanted to do was help…”

Marlene’s eyes widened for a second, but they narrowed quickly once again. “Oh, honey, don’t be so naïve. It’s clear he just wanted to gain our trust.” She took another look out the window. “I will protect my boy no matter what. I don’t care if he saved us before. He’s clearly plotting something.”

Several more shots rang outside. You picked yourself up, tucked your canteen into your bag, and stumbled over to the window.

There he was, tied up and held at gunpoint by a large group of men.

Your heart sank. This wasn’t what you wanted. This wasn’t what you wanted at all. He went through all that trouble to help Marlene and the rest of the townspeople, and this was the thanks he got?

One of the men bludgeoned him with the back of his rifle. You gritted your teeth as you saw blood stream from his forehead. You clenched your fists tightly. What were they doing to him? He wasn’t even fighting back.

The men were now shouting over each other, deciding what to do with him. Some wanted to kill him outright, claiming he would be less trouble that way. Your stomach churned and your blood ran cold.

Another man spoke up, pointing out that the JuLai military police would pay more for a live capture, perhaps even enough for a plant. Ultimately, they all agreed, and you let out a sigh of relief, but only for a moment. The same man who suggested live capture jeered that he would wind up dead in JuLai’s custody anyway. That it was only right.  

You bit your lip, the taste of iron on your tongue.

Marlene gave you a pitying look and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Dear, I don’t know what lies he told you, but I assure you that he was only using you. That’s just the kind of lowlife he is. What kind of man with a sixty million double dollar bounty on his head would ever do something for a poor town like ours out of the goodness of his heart? I know you see it, too.”

You swallowed hard, a newfound determination in your eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, Marlene. That guy… must be a monster.”

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 5

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mental Health Problems. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental health problems from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

Note: This chapter contains descriptions of how hopeless it can feel to resist dangerous urges associated with mental health struggles, all heavily inspired by my own experiences. While my goal is to communicate to likeminded readers that they are not alone, I encourage everyone to read this chapter responsibly. On the bright side, expect some ultra soft, romantic scenes ahead!

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                                                     A Gust of Wind

                                                        Chapter 5

The inside of the ship felt a lot colder than you remembered. You wished you could have stayed outside. It felt surreal to be back here again. You swore you would let them rest in peace, yet here you were.

You sighed, trudging along behind Vash. Maybe they would be happy to see you again, still alive, and technically well. And with company.

You swallowed hard, snapping out of your thoughts for a second, eyeing Vash’s shoulders. They were as stiff as a board as you two made your way through the halls of the empty ship. You shouldn’t have been so obvious with your reaction. There was a heavy tension in the air, and you weren’t sure if you could bear it. The stark silence from him was maddening. Vash had been so cheerful before, always joking around and pulling his stupid pranks, but now, his mood seemed to take a dive. Could he have really taken it so personally? You couldn’t possibly be the first to panic at his inhuman strength. Any sane person would, even someone who lacked any real fear for their life.

And more importantly, why should he care about your opinion at all? You were nobodies to each other. The only interesting part of you to him should have been whatever set off his ridiculous savior complex. Clearly, he didn’t care what you thought, or he would have respected your wishes and let you go your own way.

A sudden wave of anger shook your fear for a second. That’s right, he was just a meddling idiot who enjoyed playing the hero. Nothing more. Maybe if you played your cards right, he would let his guard down, and then his monstrous strength wouldn’t matter. If only you could get him to trust that you wouldn’t run. If only you could convince him that you’d gotten better.

If only you could get your hands to stop shaking.

The awful, screeching sound of metal tearing apart kept replaying in your head. You glanced back over to him. He stopped abruptly, and you came to a halt just in time to avoid bumping into him.

“I can hear your heart beating like a drum,” he said without turning around. Vash’s hands twitched, like they wanted to ball up into fists but were resisting the urge. You stayed silent, hands fidgeting with one of the bags. “I would never hurt you.”

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled back, still fidgeting. At this, Vash suddenly turned around with a look in his eyes you couldn’t quite read. Surprised, you took a step back without thinking. Immediately, you regretted it.

With pained eyes, he moved to turn back around, but dropping the bag, you stopped him. Putting a hand on each of his arms, you held him in place, and with all the strength you could muster, you willed your hands to stop shaking as best you could.

“Hey, what’s with the sudden mood, Goldilocks?”

Vash remained silent, eyes focused on the tension in your knuckles as you pressed into his skin. His expression softened slightly. “I would never hurt you…” he repeated in a small voice. You nodded.

“Also… that kind of stings.”

Bashfully, you loosened your grip, but did not let him go. Instead, you watched as Vash almost seemed to melt into your hands, now holding him gently. You knew he meant you no harm. You knew. But the reality of your fears was so much worse.

And now, looking into his lonely eyes, you realized that your situation was worse, still.

You resisted the urge to pull him into a tight embrace. Now wasn’t the time. Getting attached simply wasn’t worth it. You didn’t want to go through that pain again. After all, anchors don’t last forever. They simply prolong the inevitable in the worst possible way. You learned that lesson from your mother long ago when she held you down amidst the torrents in your heart for years. But in the end, it hadn’t been enough. And how you’d suffered along the way…

You would gain his trust, then escape. That’s just the way it had to be.

It was he who pulled you into a hug. It was warm and soft and gentle, and you braced for it as hard as you could.

The seconds dragged on as they passed, but eventually, Vash let you go. A light blush dusted his face as he took a step back to pick the bag up from the floor. He offered it to you, and you took it, his hand lingering over yours. He turned to continue down the hall, and this time, you walked beside him.

You and Vash walked in silence until you came to a locked supply room. You attempted to open the metal door, but with no power left on the ship, it wouldn’t budge. It was locked and jammed by a large dent.

“Why don’t you go check over in that room for any leftover supplies?” Vash suggested, pointing to another storage room at the end of the hall. It was unlocked, and still filled with useful items. You agreed and walked over, extending one of the bags by shaking it out. It was a bit out of the way from the other storage room, but even from here, you could still hear the faint sound of Vash’s revolver shooting through the lock, and the jammed metal slowly being bent away. Bless his heart…

You emerged from the room hauling a bag filled with as many supplies as it could carry, stopping in your tracks as you bumped into Vash. He was standing outside the door, waiting. You looked around but found no evidence of packed bags on his end. Instead, he still had the empty bags balled up in his coat pockets.

Fighting down your nerves, you gave him a smile. It’s not like there was anywhere to run down here. The hall was a dead end. And while you had to admit that the thought crossed your mind, you still knew better.

His preceptive eyes must have surely seen right through you, but even if they did, Vash seemed content to just stand there, waiting.

“Was that everything?” He asked, pulling a bag from his pocket. You shook your head, pointing to some shelves in the far corner of the room. You then attempted to sling the bag over your shoulder and walk away, but he took it from your hands, and set it back down on the floor. “You can just leave that here. I’ll help haul everything back once we’re done.”

With that, he beckoned you back to the storage room, where you both busied yourselves by putting the remaining supplies away. You tried your best to ignore the way his gaze bore down on your back as you passed him the items from the lower shelves, or the way he nearly breathed down your neck as you kneeled over the bag to rearrange what was packed.

You had loneliness in your eyes… And it took a person with the same kind of eyes to see it.

You grimaced. You’d never get him off you now… What was so special about you anyway? Did you so happen to stumble upon this man at the wrong place, at the wrong time? Or was it something else? Maybe he was always like this. You had no other point of reference. The only thing you knew for sure was that your nerves wouldn’t hold out much longer. It was all too much.

Looking in his direction doomed you to a wave of conflicting emotions: anger and fear, affection and compassion, frustration, and a creeping sense of despair. And guilt. But most of all, you felt a distinct understanding that this man was in dire need of a warm companion. But you weren’t the one.

How could you be? You weren’t long for this world.

As your desperation rose, it would be increasingly difficult not to do anything rash. That was how you ended up in the cryo-chamber, after all. At the end of your fuse was a ticking time bomb, and there was nothing you could do to avoid setting it off. This was your fate. With your old anchors gone like wind breezing through your fingers, and with the wisdom to avoid any new anchors threatening to hold you down, your days were numbered.

You longed to soar the skies as a gust of wind, and nothing would stop you, whether you wanted it to stop you or not.

With the storage room finally cleared out, you both hauled the bags back in the direction of the first room you had come across. Sure enough, the door was bent back by force. Vash stood awkwardly in front of the door, attempting to block most of it from view as you walked inside. You pretended not to notice any of it, choosing to focus instead on the contents of the room.

The previous items had all been consumables, but these were all parts, tools, and other equipment. “It’s not food or medicine, but they’ll fetch a high price in the neighboring towns,” said Vash, reaching for the heaviest items and placing them carefully at the bottom of an empty bag.

“Are you sure we can carry this all back on the thomases?” You asked worriedly, sorting through the parts to determine which ones were still intact.

“Sure, we can,” he nodded, accepting the parts you collected and packing them into the bag. “We just need to distribute the weight evenly. Unless, of course, you want a repeat of the first time you tried to ride one of those guys.”

Vash smiled cheekily, and no matter how much you wanted to glare at him for that, you smiled back, relieved. The heavy air slowly dissipated, and you both fell back into your usual friendly banter. Before you knew it, the room was cleared out, and you were just about ready to go.

“Hey, Vash,” you said hesitantly, as you finished piling up the bags near the broken ship panel from earlier. “Can I… show you something before we go?”

He turned to you curiously and agreed. Together, you and Vash walked down the halls toward your family’s grave. The closer you drew to your destination, however, the faster your heart began to beat. You stopped before reaching the common area where your family lay resting, unsure if you could see this through after all.

All you wanted to do was share a little piece of yourself with him. Part of you simply wanted to gain his trust as step one of your plans to lower his guard, but another part of you desperately needed to share the weight on your shoulders with somebody else.

Your hand hovered over the door handle, not quite able to close the gap. Vash leaned into you and placed his hand over yours. Together, you pushed the door open.

There they were, almost exactly as you’d left them. The flowers you made for them were strewn across the room, likely from the grand worm’s occasional movements. You walked over and picked them up.

“The people from the pictures?” He asked in a hushed voice, as if trying not to wake them. You nodded, and kneeled at their feet to place the flowers down, patting the ground next to you. He walked over to sit down.

Your eyes were fixed on the ground, unable to look your mother in the eyes. You played with a few fallen paper petals in the palm of your hand while he rested his hand on your shoulder. A few minutes passed before you were able to speak without your throat seizing up.

“The woman in that photograph you gave back to me was my mother,” you said. “She was a very special person to me. Probably the only one who understood what it was like to have my… specific set of issues.”

“How so?” He asked.

“Well… Sometimes, as much as other people wanted to understand, they couldn’t really get it. I suppose there are just some things you need to experience first-hand.” You shrugged, dropping the petals on their laps. “And sometimes, as much as they genuinely care, their inability to understand just makes things hurt more.” You drew your legs into your torso and rested your chin on your knees.

“Does… this apply to me?”

You shrugged again. “At least you haven’t called me selfish for feeling this way. Or tried to say that it’s all in my head. Yet.”

“And I won’t,” promised Vash, sunglasses sliding down his nose as he turned to look into your eyes. He gave your shoulder a tight squeeze. “But I still won’t let you do it. Sorry, but you’re stuck with me.”

“I’m sure they’re glad to hear you say that.” You laughed, finally raising your eyes to meet your mother’s face. Her bones lay drooped in a different position than you remembered, but it was better this way. It’s almost as if they’d been up and about while you were away. Besides, it was at least a little comforting knowing that nobody else would ever come here to disturb their peaceful burial. You could almost imagine that their movements were all their own.

“Well… We should probably get going,” you said, standing up and lending Vash your hand. He took it and followed suit, but as soon as he stood up, the ground began to rumble.

“The worm is moving!” He shouted, and you both turned to bolt out the door, but dust and debris started to fall from a structure overhead, and part of the ceiling caved in. Vash yanked you out of the way and moved to stop the structure from crashing down.

You watched as he stood over your family, holding up a sizeable chunk of ceiling. You simply couldn’t take your eyes off him. Even time seemed to stand still for just a moment. His form was unwavering, muscles bulging, straining against the fabric of his clothes that could no longer hide him away. With a heavy grunt, he tossed the structure off to the side.

Your breath hitched as his eyes darted in your direction. Vash looked nervous. Immediately, he drew his limbs into his body, making himself as small as possible. With eyes now trained on the floor, he started making his way to the exit without a word, but as he walked past you, your hand tugged on his sleeve. Vash glanced back at you through thick lashes.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say. You wanted to say thank you, but you didn’t think that was enough. Instead, you gripped his sleeve a little harder and leaned into him slightly. Vash’s tense muscles relaxed a bit, and he gave you a small smile.

Another rumble shook the ground, knocking you off your balance, but pulling you close, he prevented you from falling down. Suddenly remembering your predicament, you both raced toward the exit.

Quickly, Vash started tossing the bags out of the broken panel, making a face as sand fell through the opening and onto his head. The worm was starting to sink itself deeper into the ground. You didn’t have much time left.

He held his arms out to you, and taking the cue, you let him give you a leg up into the opening. You crawled outside and turned around, extending your hand back to him. Taking it, he hauled himself up with one swift pull just as the hole disappeared completely underground.

Vash landed flat on your chest, knocking the wind out of your lungs. Slowly propping himself up, he started shaking the sand out of his hair, his forearms caging the sides of your head. You pressed a hand lightly to his chest, and he froze as he realized the position the two of you were in.

Vash looked at you with a furious blush across his face and swallowed hard, but he couldn’t bring himself to move. It was almost as if he wanted to savor the moment for just a few seconds longer.

“Vash,” you said breathlessly. He stared, transfixed on your lips, trying to hold on to your every word. “You’re… getting sand in my eyes.”

With a startled jolt, he jumped off your body immediately, muttering a bashful apology. You wheezed out a laugh, still catching your breath, and not just from the fall. God, he was so…

You shook your head, attempting to dispel the thought, and moving to get up yourself.

With much on your mind, you moved to locate the bags that were now half buried in the sand, while Vash, face still on fire, scrambled up the nearest dune to scope out the location of your thomases. They must have run off when the earthquakes hit, but he quickly found them cowering on the other side of the dune. After calming them down a bit, he led them back over to the bags.

“You know, blondie, maybe I can’t kick your kneecaps in after all,” you said while securing a few of the bags to your thomas. “And… maybe I don’t want to.”

Vash grinned from ear to ear. “Glad to hear I get to keep my kneecaps,” he laughed. “I quite like them, you know.”

You chuckled, mounting your thomas. The creature seemed a bit irritated still, but upon observing your calm disposition, it relaxed. Vash gave you an approving look.

“You’re a fast learner,” he said, mounting his own thomas with ease.

“Yeah, no thanks to you!” You huffed, but with a playful smirk sneaking its way into the corner of your lips.

“You’re never letting that one go, are you?” He pouted, but then shrugged. “Oh well, I’m still going to say ‘worth it’ on that one!”

“Oh, is that how it is?” You replied with raised eyebrows. A mischievous look immediately set upon your face. Vash tilted his head slightly and gulped. “I guess I’ll just have to pay you back somehow, won’t I?”

“No, no, pranks are my thing, see?” Vash giggled nervously, fearing the look in your eyes. “Only I get to do that! That’s how this works!”

“You keep telling yourself that. It’ll make my job easier,” you replied smugly, the gears turning in your head already as you tugged the reigns on your thomas. “This way, right?”

“Yeah,” said Vash, following after you. His eyes started to soften as he stared at your moving figure, but a pensive, more gloomy look overtook him. 

Ahead of him by a few feet, you failed to notice the torrents swirling in his heart.

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 4

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance. No real tw’s for this chapter, but see warnings for chapters 1 and 2, and some future chapters. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental health problems from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

Note: I made a mistake in chapter 3. I thought it had been 120 years since the crash, but it should have been 150. I apparently can’t math OR pay attention! Anyway, chapter 3 has since been updated.

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                                                    A Gust of Wind

                                                        Chapter 4

As you and Vash set out for town, you took the time to gather your bearings and note any special landmarks, but it was a near impossible task. The sand dunes seemed endless, and there weren’t many distinguishing features to speak of. It didn’t seem quite so hopeless when you first left the ship. Wandering around aimlessly was easy, but actually trying to get somewhere was a different story.

Come to think of it, what distinguishing features had you noticed closer to the ship? You remembered strong winds and a steady incline as you left, but not much more than that. Furthermore, a large portion of the ship itself was covered in sand dunes, so if you went even slightly in the wrong direction, you could never hope to spot it.

Vash reassured you several times that he had extremely sharp eyes. Although you were not entirely convinced, you decided to follow the original plan anyway. You had been nothing but honest about how little you knew the path back to the ship, and if he wanted to go on a wild goose chase with you, that was his choice to make. At least you had some idea of the general direction you had come from. For now, that would have to do.

After a couple of hours, and two or three threats from Vash about carrying you again if you didn’t stop limping, you finally reached town. He bought a couple of those giant feathery creatures called thomases from a small herder who seemed eager to sell. A quick look inside the animals’ enclosure showed only a couple bags of feed left. The herder admitted that, pretty soon, they’d be on the menu, too, especially if the neighboring town continued to hike up the cost of their imports. You felt bad for those poor creatures…

“I don’t know if I could ever bring myself to slaughter an animal I raised from birth…” you sighed as you walked away, pulling your thomas along by its lead.

“That’s why we are going to help these people – so they won’t have to do anything like that, or worse.” Said Vash, hopping on his thomas without much thought and adjusting the reins. He looked back at you expectantly.

You stared at the foothold of the saddle for a second, swallowing hard as you eyed the creature’s wide body and thick, muscular legs. Oh yeah, this big boy could kick Mr. String Bean’s kneecaps in any day of the week. The thomas drilled holes into your eyes with its gaze and ruffled its feathers a bit.

“Careful,” warned Vash. “They may be fairly tame, but they’ll pick up on fear pretty easily and get restless. You don’t want to get kicked off one of these guys.”

Steeling yourself, you hooked your foot onto the foothold and attempted to swing yourself over. But as soon as your other foot was off the ground, the thomas shook violently, and sent you flying face first into the dirt.

Groaning, you stood up slowly, head still spinning until you heard a strangled laugh. Your gaze snapped over to Vash, who was now looking in every direction but yours. Eyes narrowed at his increasingly nervous face, you petted the thomas’s head, attempting to soothe its puffed feathers. You then tried to hop on once again, but forgetting all about your loving pats, the creature shoved you away the second you put weight on the foothold. Well, at least you landed on your butt this time…

Another muffled snicker came from Vash’s direction. The noise stopped the second you locked eyes with him. That’s what you thought...

Lips pressed firmly into a thin line, he dismounted from his thomas and placed his foot on the foothold. “Like this,” he began, then mounted the creature effortlessly with a smile. “Easy-peasy.”

“Easy-peasy,” you mocked in a high-pitched voice under your breath. “Smug little…”

This went on for another fifteen minutes, with Vash offering a couple of tips here and there. Of course, just about all the advice he gave you missed its mark by a landslide. He was a natural, and you were most definitely not. To make matters worse, he eventually gave up on hiding his laughter altogether, leaving you red-faced and wondering if he was doing this on purpose. Maybe you shouldn’t have called him all those names…

Fed up with your repeated failures, you stomped over to your thomas, your ankle’s protests falling on deaf ears. Mustering all your strength, you hooked your foot and swung over the saddle quickly. For a second, you thought you had it, but Vash was moving toward you before you even realized it was a failed attempt. The thomas, thoroughly irritated with your poor riding skills, shook its entire body to the left, sending you reeling to the ground on your bad leg.

Vash was underneath you before you could blink, cushioning your fall. You sat atop his lap for more than a few seconds, utterly dumbfounded. It all happened so fast.

“Am I comfy?” He teased with a smile, looking up at you with his chin resting on your shoulder.

Face burning hotter than the planet’s two suns combined, you scrambled out of his lap. But before you could walk away from him, he reached from behind to pick you up by the hips, and plopped you down on the other thomas.

“There, now grab onto the reigns,” he instructed, guiding your hands. “Yeah, like that. You’ve got it.”

Mortified and tongue twisted, you barely managed to mumble a thankyou as you watched him walk over to your thomas. He smoothed the ruffled feathers on its neck, and walked it around for a few minutes on the lead. Then, deciding it had calmed down enough, he hopped on as easily as he had on the other thomas.

“Behold, the thomas-whisperer.” You laughed, half annoyed, but half in awe at his talent with animals.

“The what?” He asked. You shook your head.

“It was this thing where – ah, never mind, not important.” You shrugged.

“Well, anyway, don’t feel too bad. This guy’s just got a bit of an attitude. You can tell by the way it stares when you approach it.” He explained, adjusting the reigns.

“Wait a minute… You can tell just by how it looks at you?” You narrowed your eyes. “So then…”

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” said Vash, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. “After the last few days I’ve had, I… uhhh… kind of needed a good laugh.”

“You motherfu –,”

“You’ll forgive me, won’t you, (Y/N)?” He begged, giving you the most dictionary-definition puppy-dog eyes you’d ever seen in your life. You gulped, suddenly lost for words. This man was dangerous…

With a content smile on his face, he showed you how to command your thomas, and you both set off for the ship. It was a long way there, but the thomases were a godsend. The distance you felt would have taken you several days to traverse took just under three. You may have gotten there faster had it not been for a long series of earthquakes that unsettled your thomases, forcing you to take a break. Regardless, before you knew it, you were approaching a reasonably familiar area. This was your best guess at where the ship was buried, but with all the sand dunes looking practically identical, it was hard to tell where it was exactly.

“I did warn you that it would be hard to find,” you huffed after a few hours of circling the area. You were so sure that these sand dunes had to be the ones, but now, doubt was setting in.

“Well, it’s not like I expected it to be easy,” he shrugged, holding his hand to his forehead while looking down from the top of one of the dunes. “If it was, you’d think that this ship would have been raided long ago.”

“I don’t mean to stray off topic here, but if you have to shield your eyes from the sun anyway, just what the hell is the point of those shades?” You asked, the exasperation from your fruitless search causing your tone to come across more harshly than you’d intended. Vash turned to look at you, eyes widened slightly.

“I – I mean, they look good, don’t get me wrong!” You back-peddled as fast as you could, laughing nervously and letting go of the reigns to put your hands defensively in the air. The way the slightest change in his expression could make a person’s heart break was outrageous. “I just mean, you could probably use something a little more practical, you know? I know I could.”

Vash trained his eyes shyly on the sand below, tracing the rim of his sunglasses with his fingers. “I guess… I just like them? They make me feel comfortable, you know?”

“Ah,” you nodded, not really listening, focused more on your sudden guilt. What was wrong with you? “So, they… do block the sunlight, then?”

“A little, yes, but that’s not what I meant. More like… ah, never mind. It's silly.” He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, sorry, I think I –,” you started, hands still in the air, but your thomas suddenly jerked forward, startled by a swarm of small, flying worms approaching. You had no time to hold on as it launched you down the sand dune, and you rolled all the way to the base. You lifted your head from the sand, shaking to get it out of your ears.

“(Y/N), get out of there!” Vash called, dismounting from his thomas and quickly heading over. You looked around to realize that you were sinking. You stood up fully, taking a step, but soon realized that your left leg was stuck in the sand, and you were quickly losing whatever footing you had. The pulling motion from the sand caused you to fall over again, leaving you clawing at your surroundings in an attempt to slow your descent.

Vash finally closed the distance and reached out for your hand, but he fell short just as your body disappeared completely. Panicked, Vash dove into the sand himself, digging around, trying to find anything of yours to grab onto. After a few seconds, he finally managed to get a grip on your pant leg, but as he hauled you up, he sank himself further. Vash scanned the area frantically, but found nothing to grab onto. Instead, he whistled to his thomas. The creature walked over to him, and he yanked on the lead. Furious, the thomas planted its feet firmly and tugged back, pulling both of you out of the sand in the process.

Coughing, you stood up from the ground, trying to regain your breath. “It’s here,” you wheezed “It’s buried under the sand.”

“How do you know?” Asked Vash, attempting to make peace with his angry thomas.

“I touched something hard down there. I stopped sinking at one point, and I felt like rock or metal or something,” you said, stopping to shake the sand out from places you never thought you’d have to shake it out of.

Vash squinted his eyes toward the rest of the sand dunes below, a worried look on his face. “You know, come to think of it, these sand dunes look different than I’ve seen in other places. They kind of resemble the terrain that sandsteamers cross.”

“Sandsteamers?”

“Giant ships that sail through the sand, basically,” he answered, looking around the area behind you, where the swarm of worms that had passed by not too long ago.

“Hmmm… yeah, I can’t picture it,” you admitted, scratching your head, wondering how a machine like that was even possible.

“And wherever there are those smaller worms in the daytime, there’s usually a…” he trailed off, deep in thought. “(Y/N), are you sure that what you touched was metal?”

“Either that, or rock. I mean, what else could it be?”

“There’s just one thing I need to rule out before we commit, but if I’m right, it might not be good news for us,” he said, hopping back on his thomas. “Quick, lets follow that swarm. But if I say run at any point, you run, okay?”

“But what about the metal?” You protested, mounting your thomas hesitantly. “What if the ship really is here, and we can’t find our way back?”

“We can find our way back if we need to,” he insisted. “Just trust me on this one, okay?”

With that, you both followed the swarm of flying worms for a while until you reached hard ground. The worms disappeared into smaller pockets of sand below.

“Yeah… I thought as much,” he muttered, and hopped off the thomas to touch his hand to the floor. It had discolored yet repeating markings all over it, along with several scuffs. You could have sworn you’d seen that subtle pattern before somewhere else. “(Y/N), what exactly did the ground beneath the ship look like?”

“It was mostly sand, really, but I suppose the spots where the metal dug into the ground did look a little like that.” You answered, staring at him curiously. “That… Is some strange looking rock.”

“That’s because what we are standing on is not rock at all,” he said, chewing his lip. “It’s a grand worm.”

“I’m sorry, a grand what?” You choked. “Grand and worm are two words I never want to hear in the same sentence. Ever!”

“Don’t panic. It’s not quite as bad as I thought,” he reassured you, continuing to brush his hands over different spots, and sweeping the sand away in certain areas. “I think this is a very old one. Ancient, probably only moves on occasion. Super lethargic. So, we aren’t in any real danger.”

Vash mounted his thomas once again, looking pensive. “Unfortunately, this also means that the ship might be even harder to find that we’d bargained for.”

“Seriously? Why is that?” You asked.

“Because I think the worm moved before we got here. And I’m starting to think the ship is lodged into one of its plates.”

You groaned, smacking your hand to your forehead. “Damn it… how the hell are we supposed to find it now?”

“If we are seeing its plates above the surface still, then that means the ship should be close enough to the surface for us to find it.” He scratched his head, looking around. “I think our best bet is to find pieces of upturned plates.”

“Well… the thing I touched was pretty level, so I guess that wasn’t it.” You squeezed your eyes shut and massaged your scalp, attempting to soothe your growing headache. “Ugh, we’re going to be here forever…”

“Really, you should count yourself lucky!” Vash pointed out with a smile on his face. “If this big guy hadn’t kept the ship moving around all those years, your ship might have been raided, and your pod could have been destroyed.”

“Oh. No. The horror.” You replied, rolling your eyes.

“You might not be happy you’re here, but for what it’s worth, I sure am,” he said, eyes softening in your direction. “And I’m sure Marlene and George would agree.”

You stared at him blankly for a few seconds, not sure what to say. What could you say? If you had a drop of water for every time someone told you something like this, you’d no longer be on a desert planet. Instead, you chose to say nothing, and shrugged the comment off, hoping he would drop it.

You and Vash began scouting the area with new search criteria in mind, but the atmosphere felt far heavier than it had before. You wanted to suggest splitting up to look for the ship, but you knew he’d never let you out of his sight. Especially not after your last interaction. You could feel the crushing weight of his gaze on your back as you ventured slightly ahead of him to avoid any more conversation. You just had to hold out until the supplies were dropped off in town. Then, you’d give him the slip for good.

“(Y/N),” called Vash from behind.

You ignored him and kept moving.

“(Y/N),” he called out again, louder this time. You bit your lip and turned around. Vash was pointing to a seemingly random sand dune nearby. You gave him a puzzled look, but followed him as he set off. When you came to a stop, you saw it: jagged-looking rocks protruding from the sand, all with the same pattern as the worm.

“I’m guessing this is close to where the ship is lodged, judging by the broken plate pieces sticking up,” you observed, crouching down to take a better look. Vash nodded, getting to work on digging the sand away. Slowly, the two of you revealed small parts of the ship underneath until you came across a slightly broken panel.

“Well, we’ve found our entrance,” he grunted, squeezing his hands in between the pieces. You scoffed and continued to dig, looking for a more viable option.

Suddenly, a horrible scraping sound rang loudly into the empty desert. Startled, you whipped around to see him rip the panel apart, and right off its bolts. The fingers on his prosthetic arm left deep indentations on the metal. You stared, a sense of dread washing over you. You were stuck here. You were stuck for as long as he wanted to keep you here. That much was certain.

You had a sneaking suspicion that escaping him would be borderline impossible, but seeing this monster in action really sealed the deal. You were only half joking when you said you could take him on before. Despite the impressive things you’d seen him do up to that point, you still had some hope that, if push came to shove, you could fight him off and go your own way. But now, all you could do was stare in horror at the torn-up sheet of thick metal, on what was supposed to be a space-faring craft.

“Now, (Y/N), if you’d do the honors –,” he started, with a triumphant grin on his face, but stopped upon noticing your petrified expression. “Wait – what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” You shouted, much louder than you had intended, and turned around quickly to dig through your thomas’s saddle bags. You hastily pulled out your canteen and pretended to take a drink, but you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking. Tears were welling up in your eyes. You blinked them away as fast as you could and donned your best smile before turning back around. “I’m just… wow… impressed! That was impressive!”

Vash’s eyes lingered on the way your hands were gripping the canteen with strained knuckles. “Oh, thanks!” He replied, his overly cheery tone betrayed by the subtle frown on his face.

With slumped shoulders, Vash walked over to his thomas and pulled several empty bags to shove into his coat. He tossed a few in your direction and beckoned you to the entrance. With shaky steps, you followed in after him.

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 3

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance. No real tw’s for this chapter, but see warnings for chapters 1 and 2, and some future chapters. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental health problems from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

First >> Prev >> Chp. 3 >> Next

                                                    A Gust of Wind

                                                       Chapter 3

              The following morning woke you with a pounding headache. You supposed that’s just what happens when you spend all day hiking up tall cliffs, under two scorching desert suns, with no food or water.

              Wait a minute… Hiking all day? You jumped into an upright position in surprise, regretting your decision slightly as your vision dimmed from the sudden movement. Had you passed out before reaching the cliffs? You could have sworn…

              You looked around, severely disoriented. What seemed to be some sort of shallow cave entrance sheltered you just enough from the sun’s harsh rays. You wondered how you got here, but memories of last night’s events soon came flooding back once you noticed the bright red coat you had on.

              “Wow, you’re up sooner than I thought you’d be.”

              You turned around to see Vash reclined against his bag, munching on a small piece of jerky and holding open a journal. Your journal. The one that was supposed to be tucked away in the bag you’d left back at the cliffs.

              “Hey, put that down, Goldilocks!” You scrambled toward him to yank the book out of his hand, but missed as he raised it away from you. “Where’d you even get that?”

              “I took the liberty of retrieving your stuff while you were passed out. I came across it last night while getting back up the cliffs. Well, most of it, at least.” He reached behind him to pull your bag forward. It had several tears and a few slimy marks on the side pockets. “Turns out worms really like expired nutrition bars!”

              “Gross,” you grimaced, but took the bag from him anyway, digging around for a spare shirt and a water cannister. You put the shirt on and handed the coat back to Vash, who traded you for the jerky in his hand. It looked a bit suspicious, and was giving off a pungent stench. “Um… What is this?”

              “It’s good,” said Vash. “Just eat it.”

              You nibbled the corner, and deciding that it wasn’t so bad after all, you quickly scarfed down the rest. You felt a hundred times better after washing it down with a long drink from the cannister.

              Vash peered at you curiously, clearly holding back a smile. You raised an eyebrow. What was he plotting this time? He offered you another piece, and you took it, deciding to ignore the expression on his face in favor of quelling your growling stomach.

              “That’s worm meat, by the way.”

              You stopped mid chew and stared at him in disbelief and betrayal, feeling as though your breakfast might rear its ugly head again at any moment. You were half tempted to spit it out, but if you did, it would be that much harder to keep the rest down. And damn it, you were hungry. Instead, you shoved what was left in your mouth and swallowed it as fast as you could. The roller coaster of emotions on your face had Vash clutching his belly with tears in his eyes. Very funny… Funny, funny man…

              You took the opportunity to snatch the journal away from him, smacking him over the head with it as you leaned away. You flipped through the pages quickly, stopping occasionally to ensure that nothing had fallen out. Finally, you came to the most important page, but the picture you had tucked away was missing.

              “Looking for this?” Vash waved a small photograph in front of you.

              “I really mean it this time. Give that back.” You stood up fully and outstretched your hand. To your surprise, he handed it to you without a fuss. His hand lingered over your palm for a second before setting the picture down.

              Grateful, you tucked it back into the journal, just barely taking the time to make sure it was undamaged. You laid back down on the ground, journal in hand, and fingers brushing small lines on the corners of the front cover.

              “I’m sorry.” He said after a few minutes of silence. You shook your head dismissively.

“And just so you know, I didn’t mean to go through your stuff. It’s just that it was everywhere when I found it. I figured that journal meant a lot to you… so…” he trailed off.

You nodded, eyes shut tight as you clutched the book in your hands. Part of you wanted to open the notebook again, but another part of you was afraid to look the photo in the eyes after what you had done last night.

“Tell me. How long has it been?” You asked. “Since the crash, I mean. I’m sorry if that’s a weird question, but I assume you already know why I’m asking…”

He chewed at the corner of his bottom lip. “About a hundred and fifty years…”

You let out a sharp breath and touched your forehead to the ground. You knew that a long time had passed since you landed on this planet, but a hundred and fifty years?

“Listen, I…” he started, but couldn’t find the right words to finish his sentence. Instead, he came over and sat down beside you, putting his hand on your shoulder with a light squeeze. You both stayed silent for a while.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it just yet,” he said after some time, breaking the silence. “Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”

You shifted uncomfortably, sitting up, and crossed your arms with a huff. “What are you, my shrink?”

“Well…” Vash backed away a bit, giving you some space. “Maybe not a shrink. But… more like… a friend?”

You tried to hide a scowl, but failed. You were still angry with him for what he had done yesterday, but at the same time, you couldn’t deny how well-intentioned his actions had been up to this point. Selfless and caring. Sweet, even. Vash wasn’t the one to blame for your problems, so you couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty seeing his timid expression as he looked away.

“It’s… It’s not that I…” Sighing, you looked at him apologetically. Despite the strong and friendly disposition he had shown you so far, it was plain to see that he had some turbulence of his own.

You had loneliness in your eyes, huh? Well, maybe he did, too.

Yet, the way he dealt with it could not have been more drastically different. Vash put himself in danger to save others, while you put yourself in danger to save…? You dismissed the bitter thought, realizing that the end to that sentence was rather selfish. Just like your siblings used to say.

Either way, at this rate, you’d both end up dead sooner or later. You didn’t care what kind of superhuman Vash was. His luck would run out eventually, in the same way that your strength had run out on you.

“Maybe you’re the one who needs a friend…” You said, wishing you had conveyed a gentler tone, but finding yourself unable to mask the distinct bitterness in your voice.

Vash pursed his lips and stood up to collect his bag. “I rebandaged your leg last night while you were asleep,” he said. His eagerness to change the topic did not escape your notice. “Can you walk?”

You cocked your head to the side. Was he serious?

“Look, I appreciate you grabbing my stuff and patching up my leg. I really do. But I’m afraid we’re headed in two very different directions.” You said firmly. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Actually, we’re not.” He said, very matter of fact. “While I hate to… uhhh… inconvenience you… You’re coming with me, and that’s that.”

“What, are you going to carry me again?” You rolled your eyes.

“I will if I have to.” He shrugged, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “And for the record, I hope you know that I am much, much stronger than you.”

At this, you eyed him up and down. Sure, you’d seen him in action. You knew he was more beast than man. But still… those legs were looking awfully slender.

“I bet I could kick your kneecaps in.”

Vash laughed and feigned an exaggeratedly hurt look, clutching his hand to his chest. “But if you kick my kneecaps in, who will help Marlene and Georgie find supplies for their town?”

This caught you off guard. You had forgotten all about that. They must have been scavenging for dead worms out near the cliffs to bring back for meat. You furrowed your brows and chewed your nails for a moment.

“The ship!” You stood up excitedly, catching him by surprise. “The ship I came from can’t be too far from here, and it’s got plenty of preserved supplies! Medicine, and those nutrition bars and stuff. Some of it’s gone bad, but a good chunk of it is still okay.”

“Hey! Now we’re talking!” Vash pumped his fists in the air. “Can you show me where this ship is?”

You nodded, wiggling your ankle around to test the pain. It hurt quite a bit, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, glancing worriedly at where some small red spots already marked your fresh bandages. You nodded once again. “Well, if you’re sure, then let’s head back to town first. We can pick up a thomas or two. That’ll cut down the travel time to and from the ship.”

“A what now?” You asked. For a second, a ridiculous image of a sap named Thomas, running around with the two of you on his back, sprung to mind. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh, right, you’re probably fresh out of the freezer – I mean – cryochamber.” He mused, scratching his chin. “They’re like… huge, feathery uuuhhh… two-legged creatures? They’re good as transportation and pack animals.”

“The freezer? Really? What am I, a popsicle?”

“I like that idea!” He laughed. “If you get to call me Goldilocks and blondie and… Cattle-egret-looking-ass, was it? Then, I get to call you popsicle.”

You scrunched up your nose and gave him the finger.

“A licorice flavored one, by the looks of that attitude.” He grumbled, hands on his hips.

You flashed him a playful smile and picked up your bag. “Alright, you win pretty boy. Let’s go.”

He blinked in your direction as you stepped outside the cave. “What, so it’s pretty boy now?” He chuckled. You nodded. “Alright then. I can get used to that one, at least.”

[cobawrites]

horrible donut etiquette

he asked for it

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 2

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mentions of Mental Illness, TW: Mentions of Suicide. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental illness from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

Prev >> Chp. 2 >> Next

Hello again! Here is the second chapter of A Gust of Wind. Major trigger warning for this chapter, though, involving attempted suicide. Please read responsibly.

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By clicking “Keep reading”, you agree to the content warnings. 

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                                                     A Gust of Wind

                                                        Chapter 2

 A sea of stars lit up the rapidly darkening sky by the time you reached the familiar cliffsides. Getting back sure took forever. Between your injured leg and parched lips, you weren’t sure you were going to make it. You regretted leaving your bag at the bottom where you found all those worms. They had probably run off with it by now. No point in wasting the energy trying to check for sure.

Light-headed, nauseous, and going slightly color-blind, you realized that you could have your wish either way. Still, you’d rather die a more ceremonious death than as a dehydrated, heat-stricken corpse in the sand. Chasing after your very own still life. There was nothing holding you back now, so if you were going to do it, you were going to do it right. A love letter to yourself, and nobody else. Your way. For once, you were going to do this your way.

With tired, trembling legs, you stumbled toward the edge of the cliff once again. This was it. You stared up at the sky for a moment, gathering your final thoughts. A double sunset peaked over the distant, sandy hills, and for the first time, you could see it for what it truly was: a marvel to behold. Funny how that worked…

You opened your palms up toward the sky, letting the fading beams of light shine through your fingers. If only it was always like this. If only it had always been this easy.

But a sudden breeze, although gentle and soft, left a bitter chill on your skin. Oh, yes. Nights on this planet were cold. Cold and unforgiving. But you hadn’t forgotten that. You’d only tucked the thought away, like you’d done with all the rest.

With a deep sigh, your hands still reaching for the faint glow of the suns, you steadied your weak legs and took a step out into thin air.

“(Y/N)! What the hell are you doing!?”

The grace within your step faltered, and the foot still left on solid ground tripped over the edge. You felt the back of your shirt constrict, and you were left dangling off the cliff. You really couldn’t have anything nice, now, could you? Not even after crashing your home on a barren wasteland of a planet. Not even after abandoning all that you ever knew. Not even after your mother… You really couldn’t catch a fucking break.

“Let go, asshole!” You growled, thrashing frantically, and attempting to pry their fingers off your shirt, cursing when your nails scraped hard, unmoving metal.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a no!” They grunted, and you craned your neck up towards the cliff to see a familiar blond man pulling you up.

You planted your feet firmly against the cliff wall and pushed, jolting him forward. Your heart dropped, blood suddenly running cold through your veins. You were trying to free yourself, not take him with you. But your worry turned out to be in vain. Regaining his stability without missing a beat, he began to pull you up.

No way. You worked much too hard to make this happen. You trudged along the scorching sand, pushing through the pain in your leg for so long that your bandages were now thoroughly drenched a deep red.

In a desperate last effort, you clawed at the fabric of your shirt. He would let you go whether he wanted to or not. Managing to form a small tear at the bottom, you grabbed both ends and pulled the cloth apart. With horror, Vash watched as you slipped out of his grasp, an empty, tattered cloth in his hand.

“(Y/N)!” He called out, dashing off the cliff after you. You turned as you fell, catching a blurry glimpse of him springing from ledge to ledge, heading right for you.

This man… This man wasn’t human.

Vash caught you in his arms, and you both crashed on an adjacent cliff wall. He tucked your head securely into his chest as you both tumbled down. He weathered every thud with furrowed brows, rolling over with precision, never once letting you take the brunt of any hit. Finally, you landed on a small outcrop of rock, dust settling around the two of you like the calm after a sandstorm.

With a tenderness you could never have imagined from the man who had just descended a chasm like a wild beast, Vash took your face in his hands, checking you all around for injuries.

“Why?” You cried, thick tears rolling down your face in defeat. “Why do you care so much? Why put yourself in danger like that?”

You wanted to look directly at his face for answers to his crime, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Those piercing blue eyes reached into yours like a vessel down a well. Like he could pull all your sorrows up from the greatest depths of your heart and spill them out onto the ground before you. Those piercing blue eyes… You looked away angrily, jerking your face away from his touch.

“Answer me…” you whispered. “Why did you come back here?”

Vash gazed at you, brows softening as he watched your tears fall. A somber smile fell upon his face. “You had loneliness in your eyes,” he said simply.

The silence that followed was deafening. Even the wind seemed to stop blowing. Loneliness? Is that what it…

“This changes nothing,” you retorted, shaking your head, and looking back at him with a livid glare. “You think you’ve done me a favor today, but you’re wrong. You’re just making things harder than they need to be!”

You moved to stand, but your exhaustion overtook you. Sight dimming quickly, you slumped back down against your will.

“Is that so?” He said flatly, standing up with a hand on one knee, and rubbing his sore shoulders. Vash glanced down at you again while doing so, but he turned away nervously this time. The confused look on your face turned bashful as you saw him clumsily shrug his cloak off and toss it in your direction, muttering something about the cold. You didn’t see what the big deal was. His reaction to your exposed skin, however, was somehow mortifying, nonetheless. Whatever. You were freezing now, anyway.

“I actually disapprove of suicide more than anything.” He declared, turning his gaze back on you once you wrapped his cloak around yourself.

“That’s not something you get to decide on another’s behalf…” you sighed, and slumped fully flat on the ground. You gazed right through him, the will to fight drained from your every limb by the day’s twists and turns. The suns had fully set now, leaving a thousand emerald stars twinkling in the sky.

Although your body was still breathing, you decided that your soul had died that day. Maybe if you just laid here and drifted off to sleep, Vash would accept your fate as a corpse. Maybe that’s just the way it would have to be. Maybe you were always fated to be the dehydrated corpse on the scorching hot sand, after all. The world simply couldn’t grant you a graceful death, but maybe that was okay.

With no more tears left to cry, and no more strength left to muster your anger, you let out a choked laugh. What else could you do at this point? Had you seen such a poor sap on a children’s cartoon, you might have found it quite amusing. Admittedly, it wasn’t nearly as funny in practice, but what did you have to gain by holding back?

“Alright, don’t get all… Uh… Whatever-this-is on me now.” Said Vash, cocking his head, seemingly unable to read you as well as he had mere moments ago. “We can’t stay here.”

“Well, I’m not moving.” You replied, deadpan.

“Now who’s making things harder than they need to be?” He huffed, and flung you over his shoulder like a stuffed animal. This time, you didn’t struggle. Satisfied by the limp feel of your body in his arms, he began ascending the cliff through the easiest path he could find.

“You can’t stop me, you know.” You muttered, eyes still fixated on the starry sky.

“I know.”

At this, you arched a brow. “What exactly is your plan to keep meddling in shit that doesn’t concern you, then, oh knight in shining armor?”

“Hmmm…” Vash paused for a second, mulling it over. “Well, I don’t normally do this… Traveling with me isn’t exactly safe. But I know that if I leave you with Marlene and Georgie, all I’m going to do is be liable for whatever trauma you inevitably cause the poor kid.”

Memories of what could have been churned your stomach. That wasn’t a sight you wanted a child to have to witness.

“So, I guess you’ve got no choice but to come with me,” he decided, after a short pause.

“You’re making an awful lot of assumptions here,” you scoffed. “What makes you think I’ll stick around?”

“Please,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re going nowhere fast with that leg of yours.”

“Ehhh…” you grumbled, narrowing your eyes at what you could see of his spiky hair. “Fuck you, blondie.”

“Blondie? Really?” He gave you a teasing look. “That’s all you’ve got?”

“Okay… Mr. Corn-Husk Toupee. Wait, no – I can do better. Uhhh… Cattle-egret-looking-ass?”

“What?” He laughed with a snort. “What even is that?”

“No idea, saw it in a book once,” you giggled. “But it’s your spitting image, trust me.”

Vash’s smile broadened, looking at you with warm, tender eyes, and continued trekking onward. This might not turn out to be as long of a night as he originally thought.

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A cattle egret, for reference. Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it lol.

Source: Wallpaper Safari

[cobawrites]

A Gust of Wind (Vash x Reader), Chapter 1

Vash x Reader, GN! Reader, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn Romance, TW: Mental Illness, TW: Suicidal Ideation. Reader awakens to an unfamiliar world, left alone and struggling with mental illness from before the crash. Vash emerges as a guiding light for Reader, and vice versa.

Chp. 1 >> Next

Hello all! This is my first Trigun fic. My first fic in a long time, actually! I’m probably in for the long haul with this story, so I wanted to be careful about how I construct (Y/N)’s history and stuff. Can’t have any pesky plot holes! Because of this, Vash doesn’t appear until the later half of the first chapter, but worry not! He’ll get way more time to shine in the coming chapters. And I have several sweet and fluffy scenes planned out hehehehe~!

But before we get to those scenes, I have to give you guys a fair trigger warning: this fic is going to deal with some potentially triggering topics. This includes descriptions of suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, and heavy themes of anxiety and depression. Mental illness stuff in general. This fic goes out to all my peeps who struggle with these things. I poured a lot of my personal experiences into this, and I’m sure many of you will be able to put yourself in (Y/N)’s shoes as well. Expect Vash and (Y/N) to butt heads over this stuff as their ideologies mix like oil and water.

Oh, and I am going to try to keep things as gender neutral as possible. If I slip up anywhere, do let me know and I’ll fix it!

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                    By clicking “Keep Reading”, you agree to the warnings.

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                                                    A Gust of Wind

                                                        Chapter 1

Hollow footsteps echoed the walls of the now empty ship, the remains beaten and weathered by who knows how many years. Just how long had it been since the accident that stranded you and your loved ones on this desolate planet? Having been sealed away in a cryo-chamber since before the crash, it was hard to tell. Eventually, the chamber failed, and you had awoken to… this.

Kneeling on the ground, you carefully placed down a bouquet of handmade paper flowers. Wisterias were your mother’s favorites. You’d spent all day trying to get them right. It was the least you could do for her, and for the rest of your family that was not quite as lucky as you were.

Lucky… what a funny word.

How you wished you could have been there. How you wished you could have shared in their final moments together. How you wished you could have ended it all with them by your side…

Instead, here you were. Each tap of your soles echoing louder and louder against the metal floor as you descended these lonely halls once again. Blurry memories, although clouded by years spent in a failing cryo-chamber, still managed to haunt your every step like lucid dreams.

Your hand tightened on the strap of the bag slung over your shoulder as you took once last look back at the ship. It might have made more sense to stay. There were a number of unexpectedly well-preserved supplies aboard the ship. Still, part of you simply couldn’t bear it, and part of you knew that you didn’t deserve to intrude on the scene you were leaving behind: your family’s bones, intertwined in a timeless embrace. A still life painting of what looked to have been a quick and painless death. One moment, holding each other with tender love. And in the next, their souls freed like a gust of wind.

Not here. You wouldn’t do it here. You couldn’t do it here.

And so, you took your first step out into the harsh new world that awaited you.

On a planet with two suns, it was hard to keep track of how many days had passed. Not only was the drowsy heat impairing your judgement, but the days seemed to stretch on forever. Whatever semblance of time you had was lost to the wind.

Wind… Now that was something. One of the few things on this planet that gave respite from the blistering heat. You lifted the edge of your shirt to feel it swell up underneath, your sweat cool against your skin. This place would do just fine. The cliffs were tall, and the wind was strong.

Slowly, your weary limbs carried you to the top of the tallest cliff. The way the ground crunched underneath you. The way the breeze peppered light kissed across your face. Everything was just right. It may not have been the way you’d imagined it would be, exactly, but it was better this way. With no one left to weigh upon your shoulders. With no one left who would miss you when you were gone. With no one left to stop you and force you into that god forsaken cryo-chamber.

Anger pulsed through your veins for a second, and the resentment you held for the ones you were supposed to love came crashing down on you like the ocean waves you’d only ever read about. Who were they to decide who lives and who dies? If you wanted to kick rocks, that was your own goddamned choice.

But just as quickly as it came, it was gone again. Images of your mother’s face surfaced from the torrents in your heart. Who were they? They were your family, of course. You just wished… You just wished they understood. Some of us are just born that way. And not everyone is strong enough to power through it.

But now you didn’t have to be strong. When you first came across their bodies, with the belongings in their pockets as the only identifiers, you didn’t know how to feel. Every emotion you had was bottlenecked on its way to the surface, and so you stared. You sat there, and you stared for hours. Was it sorrow? Loneliness? Fear? Or was it a sick sense of relief? A mere glimpse of their newfound freedom that reinforced your longing for the same.

A steep cliff laid before you. Dust crumbled out from below the rocks and down a deep chasm, one that didn’t seem to be carved by a river of any sort, but by something else. Whatever that something was, it didn’t matter to you. Closing your eyes, you took one step forward.

“MAMA! HELP!”

A child’s voice rang loudly across the cliff walls. Startled, your eyes fluttered open, frantically scanning the cliffs below you for the source of the sound. By god, you were about to commit suicide in front of a child. A fucking child.

Heart now pounding in your ears, you spotted a small boy of no more than seven, surrounded by what looked like giant… silverfish? Crayfish? What the hell were those things?

With the speed at which they were closing in on the boy, you had no time to mull it over. Quickly, you picked up a large rock and flung it as hard as you could toward the largest aggressor, your tired muscles reinvigorated by the sudden burst of adrenaline.

It was no good. The beasts paused for only a few seconds, then continued closing in on their prey. You lunged more rocks down at them to stall for time, and bolted down the most leveled side of the cliff, eating dirt a few times as you went.

As you hastened to close the gap between you and the boy, you opened one of your bag’s pockets to pull a large knife. Those creatures’ shells looked awfully hard, but the knife would be better than nothing at all. Casting the bag aside, you lunged at the smallest of the pack with reckless abandon, stabbing it between its armor-like plates. It writhed underneath you, trying to shake you off. Half of the beasts turned away from the boy and rushed in your direction.

“Run, kid!” You yelled at the top of your lungs, clinging desperately to the creature’s back as the others tried to claw at you. The boy, panic written all over his face, stared in horror with tears in his eyes, and glued hopelessly to the floor. The beasts that were still trained on him dragged jagged appendages across the rocks as they drew closer, as if sharpening them in anticipation of their next meal.

Frustrated, you stabbed another beast in its soft belly as it lunged forward, and rolled out from underneath it just in time. That move, however, left you without a weapon, as it stayed lodged firmly in the wound.

“Oh, screw this!” You grunted as you dodged another beast and bolted toward the child. You vaulted over one of the creatures surrounding the boy, extremely grateful for the immense amount of cardio you did whenever you needed an emotional outlet. Not that you were grateful for the crippling anxiety that made you run yourself into the ground just to sleep at night. But at least your dreadful lot in life could finally be put to good use.

Light on your feet, you made a mad dash toward the boy and scooped him up, not looking back. There! You spotted a way back up the cliffs where a woman stood flinging rocks at the beasts behind you. The path was rather steep and it still had indentations where rocks had likely come loose mere moments ago. It was unsafe, but the situation behind you was even less so.

“Hold on tight, kiddo!” You said, leaping up to the first foothold. The boy clung desperately to anything he could get a hold of, stabbing his small little fingers into your flesh like needles. Good. At least you could be certain he wouldn’t fall.

Scrambling up the cliff by whatever means necessary, lacking any grace at all, you climbed as fast as you could. The scraping sounds of their armored claws were getting closer and closer. Your heart felt as though it was about to burst out of your chest.

With the top of the cliff in sight, you tried your best to focus on the final stretch, but a pincer suddenly crashed into the cliff wall beside you. The child screamed and cried. It had grazed his arm and drawn blood. Not good. They were hot on your heels. Light-headed from exhaustion, you pried the boy off you and tossed him up into his mother’s arms with the last of your strength. The woman quickly set him down, instructing him to run, and she reached for your arm next. But she missed.

A pincer closed around your left leg and began dragging you down the cliff, knocking the wind out of you with a heavy thud. With no strength left to fight, you let it happen. Half from exhaustion, but half from a sense of relief. Your family couldn’t be mad at you now. You’d made your death count.

But from the corner of your eye, you noticed that some of the beasts weren’t satisfied with just you as their meal. They continued past you and up the cliff toward the woman and the boy. This couldn’t be happening. Not after you tried so hard to save them.

You struggled against the beast’s claws, flailing to free your leg, and clutching at the rocks to prevent it from dragging you further down the cliff. Frustrated tears pooled in your eyes, the boy’s panic-stricken face flashing vividly in your memory.

Suddenly, you heard several loud bangs in the distance. Some of the creatures fell off the side of the cliff, and some scurried off. A blond head popped out from above the cliff and pulled a revolver on the beast dragging your leg. With skilled gunmanship you’d never seen before, he hit the pincers dead on, missing your leg by a hair. The blond man hopped down to the foothold closest to you and pulled you up. You tried muttering a thank you, but you were so winded that nothing came out but a dusty cough.

“Are you okay?” He asked, holding you steady. You nodded to save your breath, legs still shaking uncontrollably. He smiled and pulled you flush against his chest with one arm and scooped up your legs with the other. If you weren’t so dizzy, you might have blushed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you up.” He said, and with a single, elegant leap that made him look not quite human, he landed on the clifftop.

Carefully, he placed your feet on solid ground. “Can you walk?” You nodded, and tried to take a step, but your jelly legs betrayed you.

He tutted and took you into his arms once again. “I guess you’ll just have to be my little prince(x) for the time being, yeah?” He teased with a wink. This time, a furious blush spread across your face. No way. You were not about to be carried bridal style by a stranger.

“No, I can walk! I swear!” You insisted, and wiggled out of his arms, cheeks scorching hot. But your legs betrayed you a second time, and you collapsed on the floor.

“Goodness, Vash, they sure are a stubborn one!” Said the woman, coming your way to check up on you after having wrapped a bandage on her son’s arm. “A real fighter in more ways than one!”

They both chuckled, and the woman kneeled beside you. “Thank you both for coming to our aid. And Vash, I can’t believe we’ve had to rely on you twice now. You must think I’m a terrible mother…”

“Not at all, Marlene. But you two really should be more careful. It’s not safe to scavenge in this area. There are more worms here than usual, and they grow bigger, too.” He explained as he kneeled down to get a better look at your leg. Vash’s hand brushed over your ankle to assess the damage, causing you to wince in pain. He glanced at you apologetically, before pulling some first aid supplies from his bag.

“I know, my boy. But we hardly have any food in our town to go around. No plant to rely on…” She responded solemnly. “I only wish I could convince the little one to stay behind, but he insists on coming with me. Says he needs to learn how to be the man of the house now that his father is gone.”

Vash furrowed his brows, a regretful look on his face. “Admirable, but little George’s got some big shoes to fill. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing that.” He said, offering a kind smile in his direction.

George, now awkwardly nursing his bandaged arm a few meters away from everyone else, averted his eyes to the ground. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Vash,” he whispered. “I… I’ll be more careful next time. I promise.”

Together, Vash and Marlene got to work on your injured leg, cleaning off the dirt and grime left behind by the worms, or whatever those disgusting creatures were called. While they worked, Vash glanced at you all over with an unreadable look in his eyes, spending longer than normal on the logo on your chest. With your ankle now bandaged snugly, he moved to pick you up again, but you scrambled away. This earned you an exasperated look from Vash.

“Listen, I’m not going to pull any smooth moves on you, okay? So you can just relax.”

“No, it’s not that! It’s just –,” you started, but he cut you off.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said, and picked you up from the ground as if you weighed no more than a feather. This guy was something else. “You’re injured. I’m taking you back with us. And we’re doing this the right way so you don’t get hurt any more than you already are.”

You shook your head feverishly. “I’m actually fine, just shaken,” you insisted, pushing against his chest in protest. “It’s more nerves than anything else! I just need to sit down for a while, that’s all.”

Vash stared quizzically into your eyes. “Hmmm… Okay then. If you’re sure,” he finally agreed, setting you down gently. Mustering all the strength you had left, you steadied your legs and bit back the pain as you walked over to find a seat on some rocks.

“But aren’t you coming back with us, sweetheart?” Marlene asked. “It will be dark soon. It’s dangerous. We should really be going.”

“I… I have some business here,” you said with a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I’m just glad I was able to help at all.” At this, Vash chewed his lip, not once taking his eyes off yours. The weight of his gaze was too much to bear. Unnerved, you looked away.

“And what’s your name, sweetie? If you won’t let us treat you to a good night’s rest back in town, at least give us that.” She said.

“(Y/N),” you replied, rubbing the back of your neck sheepishly.

“Well, (Y/N), you are always welcome in our village. It is just west of here, in case you change your mind.

You nodded with a smile, and with that, they were off. You were alone again, and you had a late nigh rendezvous with the cliffs. The nearest cliff wasn’t nearly steep enough to do the job. You sighed. Getting back to your spot… was going to take some time. Best get moving.