coffeeandcon-temptation-blog

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I went to a Q&A seminar with Antoni and Karamo and they told us that at Queer Eye auditions Jonathan literally ran from room to room yelling “WHERE IS SHE” over and over again and while everyone assumed it was about the casting director or something it was, in fact, about a Starbucks cup he’d lost, and I need you all to know that Jonathan lives on maximum 24/7. He is a force that cannot be contained

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my absolute FAVORITE activity is pausing jenna marbles videos to look at kermit’s weird fucking face

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young man, the groomsbride is a whore i said young man, please close the goddamn door

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when ur chapstick smell good

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when you get home and got the next day off

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pshahajsjs my cat, everyone

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it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”

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IM CRYING

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Pocket Pussy Review

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a list of current immortals

florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen

keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe

jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess

harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s 

lorde: 1920′s flapper era

hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE

john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would

paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s

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She’s just yelling “I GOT BANGS!!” repeatedly

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all time great meme was the guy who said JFK was gay as fuck for being asleep while jackies fat ass was out 

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Oh my fucking god god god god god i just found the funniest picture while deep into google images

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So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

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Breathe!

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im going to lose my fucking shit over this tweet nothing will ever live up to this