coffeeinthelibrary - Tumblr blog

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my fave form of comedy is when men have a thought and act like it’s some revelation and they’re a genius for thinking of it and it’s something i thought of when i was like. 4.

like i was having a debate with my friend and the word antisemitism came up and he was like “oh well antisemitism shouldn’t mean anti-jewish because other semitic peoples exist.” and it’s like. babygirl well done this is something i realised at six years old why are you saying it like it’s revolutionary

and it’s always about something to do with linguistics it’s so inane it’s like they don’t understand that words can take on meanings

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the whole “society is addicted to screens” trope is kinda overdone, HOWEVER my phone broke today and i couldn’t use it for seven (7) hours and was more productive in those seven hours than i have been for my entire life - i finished reading a book i’ve been putting off, i got some revision done, i went on a walk. and then i got my phone back and IMMEDIATELY went onto instagram and wasted an hour scrolling through my feed we truly are the most blessed and cursed generation

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Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

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literally my favorite type of tweet

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this confirms my theory that jared leto is just a dick who takes on asshole characters so he can be an asshole and call it “method acting” because from what i’d heard i assumed Jared Leto was one of the major Joker actors but SUICIDE SQUAD?? come on now.

i’ve been chronically online for a few years now so obviously i’d heard all the stories about Jared Leto’s shitty method acting for when he played the Joker and him sending like dead rats to people or whatever

what i HADNT realised was that his joker DEBUTED in suicide squad which featured the joker for SO little time. like i’ve SEEN suicide squad and the joker is like a bit part. why was he doing ALL that for 5 minutes of screen time

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i’ve been chronically online for a few years now so obviously i’d heard all the stories about Jared Leto’s shitty method acting for when he played the Joker and him sending like dead rats to people or whatever

what i HADNT realised was that his joker DEBUTED in suicide squad which featured the joker for SO little time. like i’ve SEEN suicide squad and the joker is like a bit part. why was he doing ALL that for 5 minutes of screen time

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the concept of a retainer is so insane to me because you go through almost three years of having braces which DESTROY your self-confidence as a very emotionally vulnerable and self-conscious teenage girl and after a long and often painful and time-consuming process (i had to travel 3+ hours to get to my orthodontist appointments after moving for university) you have to go through what is quite possibly the most horrific sensory experience i have ever experienced. like i don’t know about most people but i can feel it on my gums and on the teeth themselves and plastic shouldn’t have a taste but it DOES and it’s just such a gross feeling that gives me HEADACHES for some reason??? like i thought id have braces for a few years and then have perfect teeth but instead i have to wear a retainer 24/7 for three more months, then every night for another six, and then like 3 times a week for ETERNITY i am going to become a villain

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i think it says a whole lot about me that i realised the time had changed from like 12:45 to 2am and my first thought was not “oh the clocks have gone forwards” but “dear god have i been mindlessly scrolling for a whole HOUR”

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every time my FYP ends up back on booktok i am reminded that my very average sixth form hired a pretty famous authors daughter as an english teacher and we all just acted like that was no big deal

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i like how in all the Hatchetfield musicals there’s always a moment where a character just goes “what the fuck” at the absolute insanity occurring. incredible every time

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i love 500 days of summer because from the title youd assume they’re together for like at least a year and a half but realistically no they’re like a 6 month long situationship that RUINS his life. truly a film made for the girlies who use words like “delulu” and “situationship”

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maybe girlhood is about crying several times over a man who didn’t want you anyway

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asterion is me walking around my uni city when Google Maps isn’t working (i’ve been there a year and still don’t know my way around)

myia is the physical pain i feel when my flatmate tells me she couldn’t sleep because she could hear me talking to our other flatmate until five in the morning (we have thin walls and i feel HORRIBLE about keeping people up. but alas i am a yapper)

dipping my shortbread into my tea and understanding how Thetis must have felt, worrying about her grip on her sons ankle as she held him over the River Styx in a desperate attempt to save her mortal offspring from an untimely death

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okay you’re PUSHING the limits of my mythology knowledge unfortunately because i’ve never heard of the first two BUT cassandra is THE most relatable mythological figure i guarantee every single woman has felt like cassandra when talking about her field of study and being IGNORED because a man thinks he knows better

dipping my shortbread into my tea and understanding how Thetis must have felt, worrying about her grip on her sons ankle as she held him over the River Styx in a desperate attempt to save her mortal offspring from an untimely death

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1) kronos is me every time i put a lot of work into making a meal and then immediately eat it

2) orpheus is me when i write an essay and then accidentally turn my laptop off, losing the entire thing

3) circe is me every time i babygirl-ify a man. circe turned men into pigs, i turn them into babygirls. no-one is safe: not jacob elordi, not david tennant, and certainly not ANY of the men unlucky enough to have befriended me.

dipping my shortbread into my tea and understanding how Thetis must have felt, worrying about her grip on her sons ankle as she held him over the River Styx in a desperate attempt to save her mortal offspring from an untimely death

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idk if this is a chronically online thing but there’s a tiktoker who satirises tradwives and i came across a tiktok today and the woman had that same glazed-eyes dead-inside look that the satire one NAILS every time and i assumed it was satire because the caption was “i know, i know, i didn’t make the cheese from scratch” but it WASNT satire and may i just ask why have we gone back to glorifying women with no financial independence becoming basically mothers to their husbands

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i am endlessly entertained by my situationship because sometimes i think “this is a normal teenage romance” and then this morning i found out that he was going to get ENGAGED to his ex-girlfriend, and the only reason he didn’t was because the ring took too long to arrive and only arrived after she’d left for australia. i started seeing this man in november - when did they break up? this man and his almost-fiancée? OCTOBER. the worst part is i said to him “i thought you didn’t love her” (because that’s what he’s told me) and he said that he didn’t love her but he was going to pull a Newland Archer from Age of Innocence and marry her anyway?? this man is NINETEEN years old btw