coffinclownery

[coffinclownery]

Just letting you know I think I need a break from writing about tcoaal because I’m legit getting piiiiiiiiissed at how much I’ve had to think about our two nightmares for months. Need to step back and take a breather before I pop a vein. Until then feel free to send asks. I also have two other blogs. @elieclown which basically became my reblog feeding grounds and @elieowlsclownery which is my attempt to sequester my own writing so it doesn’t get drowned in dozens of reblogs, though I can’t guarantee I’ll post there much either because I have lots of thoughts but not the memory to write it all down. Anyway toodles!

[coffinclownery]

I just thought of the number of times Andrew acted like he regretted doing something and then IMMEDIATELY went for seconds and I think I’ve had just about enough of this dude.

[coffinclownery]

No more regular devlogs for awhile so here's some item descriptions that's easy to miss in episode 3

[coffinclownery]

Sometimes the images speak for themselves.

[coffinclownery]

The More I Write about TCOAAL The More Topics I Come Up With When Will I Escape

Anyway another poll be upon ye.

[coffinclownery]

Moral Decay of Andrew Graves

In a previous post I explained my theory on how souls work. since it's been confirmed in the cliffhanger path that the only morals a soul's affected by is their own, but we don't have any further details. So here's how I think of it:

Everyone has their own set of morals they believe make a good or bad person.

These morals are not objectively good or bad. All that matters is the subjective belief of the person who has them.

These morals can be taught be parents or society, but it can also be developed and changed later in life.

An untainted soul is able follow their own set of morals.

A grime soul fails to follow their own set of moral.

A tar soul to-be breaks those morals.

A hatched tar soul destroys all morals they previously had.

In this post I'm going to discuss Andrew's soul specifically as it pertains to my theory, since his soul can go through a lot of changes in Decay. It's the first thing we see in the episode, so it's also like, pretty important to this route. Like I said in the previous post, its interesting that souls can be viewed as part of a character study instead of an objective determination on who's good or bad.

From Grime Soul Andy to Grime Soul Andrew

To start from the beginning here the reason Andy starts out as a Grime Soul was because he was failing the set of morals he learned from his mom. There's the big one, which is to be a good handler brother for Leyley, but he couldn't handle her so that she doesn't embarrass mom without sacrifice his own personal life. So he'd keep getting punished for the things Leyley does.

There's also the morals he learned from his mom through observation about how to act "normal," which I didn't get into last time. Like his mom he doesn't like most people and isn't inherently kind, but both mother and son feel the need to act normal for their own benefit. It pays to fit in and belong within society's walls, and so it becomes a moral choice to maintain that. A lot of Renee's focus outside of Douglas is maintaining this act of normalcy for their benefit. Which of course is difficult when you were a teen mom and can't manage your kids.

But lets set that aside and continue with Grime Soul Andy. Eventually Andy stopped caring about how his mom thinks of him and instead focused all his efforts on Leyley, because even she ruined his life she's also the only one who understands him. He went from wanting to not disappoint his mom to just wanting to avoid being punished. So if that's the case, why is he still a Grime Soul-?

Oh. Right. That happened. So it turns out accidentally killing a child can do a real wallop to your sense of self. That is if one of the morals you set for yourself is "don't lock your sister's friend in a crate and leave her to slowly suffocate." Maybe not written down that way word for word but it was probably implied.

Though, it's not because of the killing itself part, but the potential consequences. Because as stated before, one of the morals Andy learned from his mom was to act normal. Normal kids don't kill other kids! If they're caught they can never fit into society where they have the best chances of living somewhat decently. And this isn't just for Andy anymore, but for Leyley too. Andy needs to act normal for Leyley's sake as well.

She's become an extension of him, a part of his identity. He might not care about pleasing his mom anymore, but "take care of Leyley" is ingrained into his psyche now. And Nina's death jeopardizes his ability to be with Leyley.

So yeah, this was another failure on his part. But hey! Andrew was never caught, and by highschool he's managed to live a fairly normal life. And besides Nina's death was an accident, it's not like he wanted to kill her. He could still act normal! He can still take care of his sister like a totally normal brother would! He has friends and someone he's seeing like any other high schooler. Sure he doesn't really like anyone except his sister, but other than that he can still be a normal member of socie-

oh. oh no

Okay so from the moment he realized he was down bad for his sister he realized he hit another snag in the whole "acting normal" thing. Wanting to fuck with your flesh and blood is a pretty clear sign of abnormally in society, maybe even worse than the child death in some circles. Not to mention this is the first time realizing that he could be the one to ruin Ashley. He's supposed to take care of her and be her everything, but if he does what his moldy little heart wants he'd be the one directly harming both their chances at normalcy. The thing that protects them. It's why he started dating Julia in the first place even before realizing his feelings!

Nina was an accident, another problem Leyley caused that he just had to take responsibility for like always. But the lovesickness for Ashley and what it could lead to?

Real fucking hard to "accidentally" smooch your sister on the mouth sir.

So whoops another failure, jot it down. But hey it's not like he actually did anything right? (Aside from peep on Ashley but that not doing anything that's just looking right?) He's still going to be what society expects him to be. He'll finish college, get a job, marry his girlfriend, he will not fuck his sister, and he will and start a family like a normal man. It doesn't matter how sincere he really is about it, so long as he's still doing everything right, right? He can do this!

At this point you have to wonder how he's still a Grime Soul. It's as I claimed before though, grime souls may fail to follow their morals, but it's only when you get to tar souls-to-be that you get to breaking them. Because breaking them instead of failing them implies a certain level of responsibility. It takes effort to break something and be able to admit you're the one who broke it. Leyley broke her one moral unconsciously, but even she realized what she did afterwards. Andrew's an adult now, and has all his life been able to justify his moral failings as just failings and nothing more.

Killing Nina? An accident, and it was for Leyley. Crushing on Ashley? He didn't do anything to pursue it. Not loving Julia and having violent sexual fantasies? He still tried to be a great boyfriend didn't he? And it was only fantasizing, just like how he fantasized about Ashley while he was with Julia. Nothing Happened!

An accident. For Leyley. Didn't follow through. Didn't get caught. He might be bad, but he's not that bad.

This might be in part why the Entity is so dismissive of Grime Souls. Grime Souls are cowards, too mentally weak to commit to following their set of morals and too weak to break those morals themselves. Not untainted enough to be edible, not strong enough to hatch. Complete waste of space. The only reason the yarn ball was cool with making a deal involving his soul in the Andy ending was because of the Tar Soul's connection with him.

Anyway in summary from childhood to escaping quarantine, Andrew's faced hurdle after hurdle that tests his set of morals, and he managed to trip over every single one of them. By the time they left the apartment he was left with a very short list of morals he feels he needs (or has left) to follow:

1 - Keep Ashley Safe - Included in this is also not taking advantage of Ashley by making her throw the sheets in the laundry.

2 - Act Normal - Sure they just ate a guy and killed a few people but they can still go back to normalcy. Things could still work out. They just need to steal some IDs and live quietly and not kill-

...Okay one moral left. Keep Ashley safe-

Hold on there champ let's do things in order. Back to the tied up parents.

Decay Time

This moment is when normalcy was no longer feasible. Not because of the guilt of killing his parents obviously, but because it shatters what was left of the act that he and his parents had. That act of normalcy where he and his mom pretend to be a happy family. One of the first things he ever learned was important was this act. And now that's gone.

Another failure, just like with Nina. But hey, he can just blame this failure on Leyley again. His rotten little soul can still remain a grime soul.

Path Splits

After this in Decay the only thing keeping Andrew's moral compass together is keeping Ashley safe, even if she's an ungrateful, selfish piece of shit. Normalcy is no longer feasible to him, not with Ashley around to fuck things up like she always does. Forget finding IDs, forget sneaking back into society's good graces so that they can live the quiet life. The best he can do at the moment is make sure they don't get caught. And as the person who's supposed to ensure their safety, because there's no way he can trust Ashley to, he takes the trinket to try to get a vision. And then he finds Ashley's body parts instead. Because of him, apparently.

So Ashley forces him to make a choice: Andy or Andrew. If he chooses Andy then nothing changes about his morals and soul. In fact funnily enough choosing Andy means actually succeeding in keeping Ashley safe. Except, well, it won't be him keeping Ashley safe, but the demon. Maybe Andy's a little sour about that. And the fact that he can't do anything but sit around and wait for Ashley to return. But hey at least he doesn't have to take care of Ashley anymore. No responsibilities, no stressing about what comes next or if they get caught. He gets to stay safe with Ashley, while she goes out with the demon to be the breadwinner for her favorite toy.

If he chooses Andrew though he's standing his ground. He's making an active choice and is sticking to it, when before he'd prefer letting choices be made for him so he doesn't have to bear the brunt of what he's done. He refused to take the easy path that Andy would. And he's enforcing his choice.

After this he doesn't mourn the loss of normalcy anymore. Who cares! They're going to get caught anyway. He doesn't need to act for anyone anymore, especially not for Ashley. He's bound to act more carelessly, but he's so much freer than Andy could ever be. It's almost cathartic how freeing it is not give a fuck anymore.

Does that make Andrew the "good" choice?

Um.

It uh...it depends on your perspective. And also what happens next, which is where the paths divide. Ashley's desperation for Andy was because she knew Andy wouldn't be capable of killing her like in the vision, but Andrew would. That backhand showed that Andy was gone and not coming back. Now she's stuck with Andrew, someone fully capable of violence and far more demanding. How she reacts to realizing it's just going to be Andrew from now on depends on what she chose to do in the previous vision, and in turn will change how Andrew reacts.

Shots and Such Andrew

The Shots and Such path happens when Ashley chooses to shoot Andrew in the episode 2 vision. The fact that Ashley chose to shoot him shows her willingness to go on the attack and to be reactive to Andrew when he's seen as threatening. She might accept that she can't have Andy, but that doesn't mean she's willing to bend to Andrew. When threatened she's rather fight back, even when it's obvious it will make things worse.

And it does. Ohhhh boy does it. Ashley smored a camper during the Andy ending because she doesn't respect Andy, but she smored a camper in the Shots path because she's retaliating. Just like when she told Renee about the neighbor report despite promises. This proved to Andrew beyond a doubt that Ashley can't be trusted to behave, that she's still Leyley. And Andrew's had it with Leyley. Not to mention hearing that she shot him during the vision proved to him she's willing to leave him. So if she's still a brat who'll get them killed anyway, if she doesn't even like Andrew and can't appreciate the things she does for him, if she's capable of leaving him, then there's no point in continuing on with this charade. So he might as well do something he fantasized about since the quarantine; dying in each others arms.

I mean he wanted to do it with Ashley, but Leyley will have to do. Hope I don't need to further explain why "trying to commit a murder suicide with your sister" clashes with the moral of "keep your sister safe." If this was Andy (not that he'd have the guts to) maybe he could have clocked this as another failure. That it was just Leyley making him doing it as always. But no, he's Andrew. The a big grown up. He's knows that as much as he thinks Leyley drove to him to this point, its him chasing her with a butcher's knife. He's broken this moral with his own hands, and there's no point shifting the blame. He knows what he is, and he doesn't care anymore.

With this moral shattered Andrew has no qualms enacting violence. The rule already broken, there's no going back. It's no longer about what's right, but if he wants to or not.

It's why he felt no regret beating Ashley. He already knew what he was capable of, he even knew there was a version where it could have led to her death, and he did it anyway. Because if its already broken, what use is there trying to put it back? The most he felt afterwards was pity. Not that what he did was wrong, but that Leyley herself is just pitiful.

But...there's one thing left that Andrew won't do. One tiny moral left to keep. One thing keep the shell around his soul intact. And that's to not have sex with Ashley...no, wait, sorry. To not have sex with Leyley. His baby sister. The perpetual brat who never grew up, who isn't capable of making her own decisions. A child in an adult woman's body. That's Leyley.

He can't say he can keep her safe when he's more dangerous than the demon at this point. Hell he even says the demon is actually better at taking care of Ashley. But the least he can to is not fuck someone he considers a child. That's where the disgust comes in. It's not about the incest, because again at this point he doesn't care about normalcy anymore. It's the disgust of exploiting someone he couldn't see as an adult. The little girl he raised himself.

And then it happened. He was drunk, he was pressured into it, he can't even remember half of what happened, but regardless the deed was done. Ironically this would have actually been a moment where he shouldn't have to take the blame. He didn't choose to do this sober, it was Ashley who pressured him into it. He literally states upfront that what she did would've pout her in jail. But that would imply that Ashley was an adult who could make her own choices. No, it was Leyley. Leyley can't help be the way that she is. If Andrew let Leyley take responsibility for what happened that would imply that she was an adult who could make her own decisions. She can't help being the way she is. A child. A menace. A burden. A thing. A disgusting lump that takes what it wants. It's in its nature.

So despite not breaking it himself Andrew still takes the responsibility for the shattered pieces. The moral eggshell is cracked open and a Tar Soul emerges, burnt to charcoal. This time there is truly nothing left to hold Andrew back. No more morals to consider, no more fucks to give. Just like Ashley, it's about what he wants or doesn't want, not what's right or wrong. He'll do what he pleases without the burden of responsibility or morality, be it jump out the window to traumatize a group of school kids with Leyley or put a ring too big to fit on her and do whatever he feels like to her without remorse.

In summary Andrew became a Tar Soul-To Be because he broke his moral code of protecting Ashley, and hatched into a Tar Soul because he broke his last moral of not having sex with Leyley.

Decaying Away Andrew

Okay let's wash our faces and rinse out the bile in our mouths and talk about the more hopeful (?) path.

In Cliffhanger path Ashley's more willing to behave. There's reasons for this but I'll set those aside for another post. What matters is that this results in Ashley proving to Andrew she can listen and can behave (somewhat.) If Andrew calls Julie to test her this becomes more apparent, since Ashley was able to keep quiet despite his pushing. Andrew made the call fully expecting her to have a meltdown, but to his surprise the most she did was try to end the call early.

Their dynamic is still very rocky, but this moment stabilized it a little. Andrew might have fully given up on normalcy, but there's a chance that the sibling can pull through together.

Because of this (and the fact that Ashley didn't smore the campers) Andrew never breaks the one moral he still has: Keep Ashley Safe. It remains his most important goal. Not to say he doesn't have the risk of breaking this moral still, but it won't be through a butcher's knife. And there's also the "not fucking Ashley" rule still ongoing, but this time it's not because of Leyley, but because Ashley said she'd be cool with doing it to make sure he stays and doesn't kill her, making it seem transactional at best and exploitative at worst to do it. He wants something "real" with her.

However there is a point in the Demon Therapy Session where Andrew almost breaks and says he should just do whatever he wants to Ashley, though he backtracks because if he asks she'll just agree to it. But that defeats the purpose. Regardless this shows that despite wanting to keeping Ashley safe he is at a breaking point. He wants to keep her safe, but he wants to fuck her up too. Things might seem more stable, but Andrew's soul and his morals continue to slowly rot away. Until it'll no longer be a question of "if" it happens, but "when."

Yeah, no kidding.

Aaaaaaand I've reached the image limit so I'll stop here. Somehow while writing this I ended up with like five other posts in mind, so I'll send out another poll and let you folks decide. Feel free to send asks like "why are you like this" and I'll go "wish i knew" or maybe even asks about tcoaal idk. Toodles.

[coffinclownery]

Thought it’d be interesting to share this with tcoaal folks for the tasty discussions of gothic romance and horror. She even brings up incest as a prominent theme in gothic literature as more than titillation at the 29 minute mark, but I recommend watching the whole thing.

[coffinclownery]

Help the more I write about this game the more topics I keep coming up with to write about WHEN WILL I BE FREE!!!!????

[coffinclownery]

Thinking about this scene where Ashley went on a date only to be a no-show. It's not dramatic or traumatic or tense. It's not a groundbreaking moment, nothing big is revealed. It's quiet and reflective.

We just spent the previous minute with Andrew going into Girl Dad Mode about to rescue his oh-so-innocent sister daughter from the guy with the douchiest hat in the world, only for that fantasy to be dashed by Ashley not following expectations. She ditched the guy before the date even started. She only agreed to it because her "friends" (she put friends in quotes) talk about boys all the time. She's not sad because her feelings were hurt, or that she feels guilty for ditching. She's sad because...I don't think she even knows why.

It also goes against a lot of presumptions about Ashley shared around. Folks imagined that if other guys have been interested a few thing would happen:

1 - Andrew would immediately put up a barrier before they even had a chance as the "protective" older brother/dad figure. This part's absolutely true, but here we see a scenario where Ashley didn't need to be protected. This goes completely against how Andrew often views Ashley as both defenseless and unable to make her own decisions without screwing up, especially in their current predicament where Ashley's hanging with the yarn ball demon.

2 - Ashley isn't interested in other men or anyone else for that matter, only Andrew, so she'd just off highhandedly refuse anyone else's pursuits or not even register them flirting. While she wasn't interested in the boy himself, she was genuinely trying to impress her friends by going out with one. And it didn't involve Andrew at all.

I think we forget that before the pandemic Ashley did try to be with other people. While Andrew wants to be liked by others for convenience and maintaining normalcy, Ashley wanted to be liked because she's lonely. She doesn't necessarily like them, but she prefers being with them over being alone.

We see Renee in Andrew's nightmares and flashbacks constantly telling him that he's all Ashley has, that no one else will care for Ashley like he does, and how this warped Andrew's feelings into only being able to love Ashley. But in this scene I think we see how this affected Ashley's own mindset. Because just as Andrew was told no one would care for her except him, so was Ashley. And this lead to her being unable to truly connect with anyone else, just like him. She tried to go on a date to impress her friends, but couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't care enough, and it upsets her.

While Andrew fought back against the feeling he could only ever be with Ashley tooth and nail due to his lovesickness, I think Ashley had already quietly accepted that she can't truly connect with anyone other than Andrew by this point. She just kept trying to have friends because she was aware she couldn't be with him all the time.

And then her so-called friends abandoned her to starve just like her parents, and Andrew was the only one left. Renee said that Andrew's the only one who could care for Ashley, and the world proved her right.

I don't know, unfortunately my brains currently frying in a heat wave so I feel like I'm not fully articulating why this scene is so impactful. So here's the baton, discuss how you saw this scene.

[coffinclownery]

You know now that I think about it since Yarn Ball probably doesn’t have human memories he only knows the concept of “brother” from Ashley. Which is………….something.

[coffinclownery]

Souls and Morality

First off I really like how souls work in tcoaal. Before episode 3 there was the assumption that the darker the soul the more evil you are, that it was objective. But no! Morality is subjective! There's no single definition for what makes a good or bad person! Sure there's some moral obligations and lines to not cross that we generally agree on, (like, say, blackmail, death threats and harassment, desecrating corpses, slaughtering, sacrificing to demons, killings your parents, killing a child/children, smooching your sibling on the mouth, attempting to kill your sibling, cannibalism-) but there's no one set of morals that is objective and correct. It is up to each person to have their own set of morals to follow. By making it so that only the individual's morality affects their soul it's not a simple indicator of how objectively evil they are, and is instead another avenue to study a character and how they view themselves.

That being said since learning that a soul's purity is affected by one's own sense of morals I think some have taken that to mean it's also affected by one's self-esteem, meaning that Ashley is a Tar Soul because she thinks she's evil AND she hates herself. And while it's true her self-loathing could relate to seeing herself as evil, I think self-hatred is more of a byproduct than a cause. Self-hatred can be a symptom of seeing oneself as evil, but it's not a guarantee. Seeing yourself as evil doesn't always mean hating yourself.

An example of this is Surgeon, the other potential Tar Soul. As shown in the vision at the bar the man is shamelessly evil, unafraid to admit his interest in surgery is neither about monetary gain nor for the general good of mankind, but entirely for his own gratification. And while we don't see much of him what we do see is a man who isn't seeped in self-hatred for his evil nature. He's perfectly content being a rotten bastard and I almost respect him for it.

So instead of focusing on the self-esteem aspect, let's focus on exactly how one's morality affects the soul. Here's my interpretation of things:

Morality is about fitting a standard of acceptable behavior. It's the idea the you have to do A, B and C to be a good person and avoid doing D, E and F to not be a bad person. Moral standards are often set or learned systemically, but in regards to souls the only morals that matter are the ones set for yourself. My argument is that in order for a soul to become tainted, the person has to break or fail their own moral standards. It's not simply about how evil you think you are, it's about the downward slop of how many of your own morals you have left to maintain.

Untainted Souls

Let's start with the untainted soul we feed the yarn ball. It was one of the wardens that guarded the siblings' apartment under the guise of "quarantine." We know the warden was aware residents were being starved and not only didn't do anything for them, but actively prevented them from getting help. All the while playing favorites because one of the residents was hot. How can this man think he's morally just? How is he untainted?

It might be because his standards of morality are conveniently set in a way where he doesn't have to be bothered by what he does. After all he's not the one in charge. He's just doing a job. Following orders. And it's not like he's killing the residents directly. They'll die in their apartments anyway! And besides if he doesn't work here someone else will. Hey at least he's not kicking dogs! And so on and so on.

This is how people who do objectively rotten things justify themselves. "I didn't start it, I'm just doing my job, it would've happened even if I wasn't there." Morality here is not about being a good person, it is just something to be shaped and twisted in a convenient manner so that you can continue doing horrible things and still sleep at night.

So for a soul to remain untainted the person has to

Have a set of morals.

Be able to follow that set of morals.

Grime Souls

But not everyone has the capability of shaping their morals so conveniently. Some people never grow out of the morals disciplined into them as kids by the adults in their life. And then told they're always failing to meet up to those morals. Over and over again, until it's ingrained in their mind that they're a failure. A disappointment.

That's where our primary Grime Soul stood at in the flashback start of Decay. The one moral he was taught by his mom was to take care of his sister.

No wait, "take care" is too generous. "Pacify" is the more appropriate word here. Renee wanted her son to pacify her daughter so she'd never have to hear her, see her, think about her or be around her in any capacity. Feed her so she shuts up. Play with her so she doesn't break stuff. Keep an eye on her so she doesn't run off and cause trouble. Just don't let her embarrass Mom. She didn't just parentify her son, she wanted him to be her daughter's handler.

But of course Andy couldn't do that. He was a kid himself! He was still under the bold assumption that he could have a life of his own that wasn't watching over Leyley like she's an untrained dog. So he'd be distracted by such frivolities as "homework" and "studying." Not to mention the constant household chores he was made to do. So he was always one step behind. Look, Leyley threw a tantrum because he didn't keep an eye on her, what a bad brother!

All this to say that the reason little Andy became a Grime Soul was because he failed to fit the moral standard ingrained in him by his mom. If being an Untainted Soul means believing they follow their morals, a Grime Soul means believing they are failing to follow said morals. And what's ironic is that if his dad put any effort in his kids' lives he probably would have been able to share a similar experience disappointing his own family.

It wouldn't be a stretch to suggest that Douglas's dad was always putting him down and making him feel worthless since childhood. Douglas might've always felt like a failure in his house. Then he meets Renee, and his soul is literally purified around her. Because unlike with her son Renee always puts Douglas's wellbeing first and encouraging him.

When Douglas is alone, his morals are affected by his father's expectations that he could never meet.

But when Renee's with him, his morals are shaped by her view of him. And if Renee follows any moral, it's that Douglas will always be a good man no matter what he does or doesn't do. It'd almost be sweet if Renee wasn't doing the polar opposite with her son.

So be a Grime Soul a person

Has a set of morals

Fail to follow those morals

Later Andy began naturally prioritizing Leyley without pressure from his mom. In fact he only started caring about Leyley. So if he stopped caring about meeting his mom's expectations, then that means he can start seeing himself as an alright person right-?

oh

...

Tar Souls To-Be

Well let's save Andrew's downward spiral for another post and move onto tar souls to-be like Renee. As we see in the time capsule, Renee already thought she had a pitch-black heart as a teen.

This is going into speculation, but my theory is that a tar soul to-be is someone who has not only failed the morals they believe, but have begun breaking those morals. I don't mean to say a belief in morals implies that a person agrees with them or wants to follow them. Just that they believe that those morals are what makes a good or bad person. I don't think Renee gives a shit about being a good person. She's aware there's morals she's supposed to follow and in lieu of failing them denies them.

I think the biggest moral she's aware of yet refuses to follow is "care about others." She doesn't care about anyone except herself and Douglas. She was born the same way as Andrew, someone who never liked anyone. That's why meeting Douglas was so impactful. And that might be why she never hatched. Because for as rotten a person she is she at least has one person who sees the good in her.

Too bad Leyley didn't have anyone who saw the good in her. Not the mom and dad who ignore her most days, not the brother forced to take care of her, and especially not herself. If there was one moral she learned, it was this; "Leyley is always bad." Leyley would be bad no matter what. So instead of passively failing morality Leyley actively broke rules. Any moral she was taught by her teachers and brother she refused, because if she's a bad thing anyway what does it matter? If she followed morality, if she behaved like a good little family pet, the best she could hope for is be ignored. She learned from an early age the only way to get attention is to break things, and that attention was more important to her than whatever moral integrity she had left.

Tar Soul

What's really interesting about Ashley is that she wasn't always a Tar Soul. Lord Unknown noted that the little lady hatched into one sometime between before killing Nina and after entering high school, but we don't have a clear evidence of when this hatching happened. For now there's two onscreen possibilities. One when the siblings realized Nina was dead, and when Leyley broke the blood oath.

Gosh which one affected her more do you think...? To be fair I think Ashley's more affected by Nina's death than she realizes, but as far as morality goes her death just confirmed what Leyley already believed: Leyley is bad. Her killing someone and cursing a teacher out are all on the same level of "bad" to her so its whatever.

But that oath? That oath was meant to ensure Andy stays. It was the first time Andy honestly said she had a permanent place in his heart, moldy and rotten as it is, so long as she promised to keep quiet. It was the first and only rule she learned was important. She wasn't scared of the consequences, but she wanted the assurance. Leyley was bad, but she had one moral to keep.

But she couldn't even keep that. Her need for attention ingrained in her overcame that one secret she was supposed to keep. She's broken many promises before, but those didn't matter. She broke those on purpose because they weren't important to her. This one mattered, because it was for her and Andy to stay together. And she broke it without even thinking.

Leyley was not just bad. Leyley was evil.

To hatch into a Tar Soul a person has to break all of their morals completely. Alternatively to hatch into a Tar Soul a person has to break their most important moral, one that can't be recovered. Either way once a soul's hatched the person believes they are fundamentally, irrevocably, and irredeemably evil, and it would take A LOT to change that.

A side affect of this could be self-hatred, but as stated at the beginning I don't think its a guarantee. In fact I don't think Ashley hates herself because she's a bad person, but because she's never feels like she's enough to keep Andrew. She's not pretty enough, she's not smart enough, her brother cares more about appearances, no one likes her. She believes she's unlovable in part because she's evil, but she hates herself because of feeling unlovable and not the evil part...am I making sense? I'm not sure I'm making sense.

Anyways what being a Tar Soul means to present Ashley is that she has no morals. None. She's already broken the one rule that mattered, and there's no going back. She can't be redeemed, nor does she wish for it. She's let go of all morality willingly now. And because of this she's capable of anything. Anything. There's not a question of whether it's right or wrong, whether she should do this or should not do that. It's entirely about what she wants to do or what she needs to do.

This is evident from the very first episode. When witnessing the neighbor's "death" her first thought was "I don't want to be stuck listening to the neighbor's music until I die." Then when seeing the body up close her next thought was "I'm hungry." The only moral justifications she gives are for Andrew's sake. She didn't need any to start chopping, and none to stop her. All that mattered was that she and Andrew were starving, and the body was full of meat.

It's how she's completely fine with having sex the way she did in Shots. (Yes, I know. I know what it is she did, and I don't think it's necessary to say it.) What morals were there to stop her? Taboos? Consent? Even wanting it? Meaningless! She doesn't care about society or appearances, she knew Andrew wanted her that way (though she doesn't know why) she knows Andrew's capable of killing/leaving her (which in her mind might as well be the same thing) and the only thing she could think of to stop him from finishing her off after beating her was oat cookies. This was about survival. The body was full of meat, and they were starving.

Mind you this also goes the other way around, especially with Andrew. For all her complaining and whining about how she's treated, she never once argues she doesn't deserve it, nor that it's somehow morally wrong. Part of this could be low self-esteem issues, that in some ways she thinks she deserves all that's coming to her, but I think it also goes along with how she sees morality; it's never about what's right or wrong, but what she does or doesn't want to happen.

It didn't upset her that she was hit because it was wrong to hit people. What upset her was that it proved he'd never be Andy, who'd never do such a thing. Afterwards she even joked about it like it was nothing, only really reflecting on it in Cliffhanger.

It wasn't wrong of Andrew to try to kill her. Even as she was being chased down she never argued why it'd be wrong to kill, just that he shouldn't want to kill her. What really hurt was that by trying to kill her it proved to her he wanted her gone from his life. What she thought kept Andrew stuck with her, the trinket, has been proved to not matter to him

It wasn't even wrong of Andrew to beat her black and blue. It just hurts. She didn't even think to say it'd be wrong to kill her, only that she could make oat cookies. And again, she makes light of it afterwards.

And clearly Ashley doesn't see anything wrong with how Andrew wants her, so long as its wanting her in some way, so long she can use it as a means to keep him. His consent doesn't matter, and neither does hers. He can do what he wants, no matter how deplorable, so long as he stays with her.

Bottom line is as a Tar Soul Ashley will neither use morality to justify or rationalize her actions, nor will she use morality to argue against how she's treated.

And as a final point, I think she wants Andrew to disregard morality this way too. Not just to further tie them together, but because of what she said to him back when they were teens. They don't really matter, so they should be able to do whatever they want.

tl:dr what effects the souls is the morals they set/learned and how they react to them. Untainted souls remain untainted so as they follow their morals, Grime souls become grime when they fail to follow their morals, Tar souls to-be break their morals, and when all morals are broken or one particular moral is broken a soul hatched into a Tar soul.

Next big post is going to be a continuation of this one that'll discuss Andrew's soul situation in more detail, since...hoo boy. It's a lot.

[coffinclownery]

Working on a post about how souls and morality works in tcoaal and it just hit me mid-typing that Renee was probably born the same way Andrew was. They don’t like anyone except for one person. Only difference is Andrew at least made an attempt to like others while Renee made none. She doesn’t even consider people’s names in her head except for Douglas if you look at the visions.

Like mother like son I guess.

[coffinclownery]

Hot Take Ashley Noticed Andrew Being Horny Weird Around Her

I think Ashley knows about the peeping. It would explain why she assumes the worst of Andrew. I made a post before about how Ashley seems to believe the "men think of sex every 5 seconds" myth regarding Andrew, not realizing how Andrew's focus is on her specifically. I think her realizing Andrew's horny around her doesn't disprove anything I said. Because to her this would actually prove her point. That he's so horny that he'd even lust after his sister, but is too much of a coward to actually say it to her face. And because Andrew never fully explains how down bad he is for her, Ashley's left to assume that Andrew's just that desperate for sex and nothing else. And whenever she tried to explore being more romantic she's pushed away, further cementing that its just lust.

Like the time when they were teens, and Ashley wondered if they could be different. She wasn't fully onboard with being gross together, but she was curious about being a couple. Something different. But then Andrew pushed her away and never explained why he was uncomfortable, so the only conclusion Ashley could come to was that Andrew didn't see her that way. Then in the year and change they don't talk she notices him getting horny, so she's only left to assume that it must just be her body he's interested in, despite already being in a relationship with Julia. He just wanted her body but not be in a "real" relationship like he was with Julia, which I think also contributed to how pissed she was when they became "official." Even without doing anything, it's hard to imagine her not feeling used this way. And also becoming "official" signified the potential to get married, leaving Ashley behind.

Which is exactly what Andrew was planning, running off without even trying to talk it out with her!

There's also the "mishap" on the couch in shots, when after the shotgun she takes the initiative to kiss Andrew back.

She never gave herself the opportunity to explore her own view of sex, but I do think that she genuinely likes being affectionate to Andrew and him being affectionate to her, even when they definitely cross the line. She likes hugs, cuddles and sometimes even the "mishaps," maybe because in those moments she can feel like she's actually loved. The last time she was really happy was joking around on their parents couch and biting him. But once again, Andrew pushes her away, saying she's bad at it.

In the splat ending she admits it hurts when Andrew doesn't think she likes them.

And in the Shots and Such ending she gives up on the soft affectionate side of their relationship altogether, only using her body as a means to an end and even resenting the one time she almost enjoyed it.

Andrew complains about not having boundaries with Ashley, but the sick joke is he never gave Ashley boundaries either. Her privacy was invaded by him without explanation. She was used as an object of desire the way Ashley used "Andy" as a safe object. One of the many reasons Ashley prefers "Andy" is that he would be with her without expecting anything, but "Andrew" has the wants of a man which threatens to separate him from her.

It's also why she's so confused in the cliffhanger route. Andrew gives her "promises" and is affectionate, yet isn't interested in bartering for affection or using her body. It almost shakes that deep-seated view she has of Andrew.

...Then of course Andrew fucks it up right before they separate. And now Ashley's left with the Entity's words about him betraying her until he either returns or she goes looking for him.

Also fun fact, Andrew never says "I love you" back to Ashley. Not once. Because if he did his real feelings for her might leak out. You could say Ashley's similar in that most of her "I love yous" are for Andy, but unlike Andrew I think she extends what she considers "love" to Andrew too, in a different way.

Anyway tl:dr Ashley's assumption of Andrew being horny all the time was possibly contributed to the fact that Andrew kept failing to hide his horniness around her. At this point it'd be healthier for Andrew to just ask Ashley out. Go out to the movies? Have a candlelight dinner with a couple limbs and some wine? Go stargazing? I heard someone had a really good pick-up line to use during stargazing.

[coffinclownery]

No, Leyley Was Not Evil, She Was Just a Kid

I was going to be like "If you thought Leyley was an irredeemable devil as a child you probably just hate kids" but I'll be a little more lenient and say you probably either never interacted a lot with kids nor have had to work with kids. Fair enough. But like you're still wrong and I'm going to explain why.

The first part of Decay was an hourlong flashback showing why Andrew hates Leyley, and as a child how easy it was to view her as the evil thing that's ruining his life. And don't get me wrong, Leyley was an absolute brat. She's rude, she's pushy, she throws tantrums, she has no filter, and she has no qualms breaking things.

But from an outside perspective, especially from someone who's worked with kids like this? She's just being a normal kid. None of this surprises or disturbs me. Her attitude and actions made perfect sense. Like yeah when kids are left to their own devices and made to watch each other, when all the adults in their lives want nothing to do with them, this is going to be the result.

If you don't give them the attention they need and the only way they get it is to break things, they are going to break things. And because Andy initially only bothered with Leyley when she breaks things, she learned this is the only way to get and keep his attention.

And this mindset that Andrew will only give her attention when she breaks things is why she continuously pushes Andrew's buttons present day. She never grew out of this belief, which is why it's hard for her to grow out of Leyley.

And reminder, the reason this happened is due to the parents. This was not Leyley's fault, it was the parents who pushed Leyley onto Andy. And I also don't blame Andy for not understanding that as a kid. Later as an adult Andrew does realize that it was his mom who caused this to happen, but it doesn't remove the resentment he festered for Leyley for so long.

On another note I think it was nice how despite this burden put on Andy that made it hard to like Leyley, there's still glimpses of them getting along. Andy defending Leyley from the teacher, them chatting and laughing about getting baked into one of grandma's pies. It really showed that in spite of everything they could have gotten along as normal siblings would, if only things hadn't been screwed up from the start.

It also shows that despite hating Leyley, Andy was still only ever happy with her in the flashback. During that whole sequence not once was he happy interacting with anyone except those few times with Leyley. The only times he acted happy with anyone else was because it was just that: an act to avoid discomfort or trouble.

When the main source of your misery is also the main source of your happiness...yeah no wonder things went so bad.

[coffinclownery]

I see the demons as lawyers and investment bankers.

They are pretty powerful but not omnipotent. They can stack the deck in their favor but dont control fate.

They have their little workers harvest souls for them as raw power and capital.

If given the chance the demon will abuse the shit out of the terms and agreements against ashley.

Likewise ashley is all too happy to partake in asysmmetrical soul arbitrage to make herself stronger. Hurting others for her own personal gain and power. The entire system relies on exploiting the weak and leveraging power over others.

“Lord unknown” is probably an entity thats been doing this for a very long time. Hes clearly the strongest and most influencial one, and little demon seems to be an aspiring player.

TLDR;

Ashley is an overworked unpaid intern at a new startup. Employee of the month back to back soul reaper for her new boss.

And theyre trying to dethrone Lord Unknown for dominance or just fuel 3Eyes’s soul addiction while he furthers his interests. He might even be grooming her as a potential business partner. Theyre captialists :3

Legit when the demon was explaining how summons work to Ashley I immediately thought of those scamming groups who prey on the elderly. Like the demon picks the easiest summons and then Ashley's scams them out of their souls lol. And hey even in the version where she's the demon's eternal servant she still gets plenty of tips in the wallets of her victims. And she doesn't even need to pay taxes for them!

Yeah the new shady startup where she gathers souls is what the demon wants on the surface, but we don't know yet what it needs so many souls for. It's adding a lot to its portfolio but its end goal is still a mystery. Honestly I'm not sure the Entity's aware of Lord Unknown, though it would be interesting if they did have a connection.

But given Lord Unknown's current interactions I feel like aside from his interest in Tar Souls he has different goals/interests in mind. When we meet him at the Deep Dive he's already so powerful that most humans can't summon him to the demon world, so clearly he doesn't need more souls. And when he first met Andrew as a kid it felt like he only agreed to the deal little Andy accidentally made to eat vegetables out of bemusement. He was bored and was interested in seeing what the little grime soul could do more than he was at how to use him.

I'll definitely post more about Lord Unknown and how he foils with the little yarn ball later...maybe. Eventually. I have a lot of posts lined up...

[coffinclownery]

Why Ashley Gets Along with the Entity and What it Might Want

There's a delightful irony to the fact that the only person Ashley seems to even somewhat get along with that's not Andrew is a literal demon. And when you see the interactions between them throughout the routes it makes sense.

For one Ashley doesn't have a fear reaction that would tell her to run the other way. It's been stated that Ashley isn't afraid of Andrew, but I think it's more accurate to say that she's not afraid of anything except for one specific thing. Being separated from Andrew. She can take on anything else so long as Andrew stays. Even after being almost killed and beaten up by Andrew she is more afraid of his absence than the clear danger he presents to her. Even when it comes to dying, its not the death that scares her (though she clearly doesn't want to die and would rather not thanks) it's the idea of death permanently separating her from Andrew.

All this to say unless the Entity threatens to unglue her and Andrew Ashley sees nothing wrong with hanging with it. It's only in the scenes where it says that Andrew could betray her in Cliffhanger and when it threatens to kill Andrew in Shots that Ashley's ever afraid, because in both cases it threatens to permanently split them apart.

So that's why she's unbothered by the Entity, now let's move on to why they actually get along. That being deals. The deals the Entity makes are, at least on the surface, clear-cut and precise. It wants A in exchange for B, simple and easy to follow.

There's no vague request for conceptual shit like Andrew demands. Respect? Boundaries? Even if she would agree to those things, she has no fucking clue what that means or how to implement things like that, because she never had to learn those concepts and frankly doesn't even respect herself or her own boundaries. Not to mention to her things like respect and boundaries might feel like excuses for Andrew to get away from her, the one thing she's afraid of so like, no thanks. There's also the issue of Andrew himself never specifying what he really wants from her, because to do so would reveal how down bad he is. Even if Ashley somehow learns respect, it was never going to be enough for Andrew in the first place. But that's for another post. Moving on!

With the Entity she doesn't feel the need to "play games" with it to get the needed reaction. What it wants and what it provides in exchange appear obvious and solid. She doesn't need to perform a specific way to get what she wants, she just needs to do simple exchanges. It's the same with the puzzles in the world. It initially frustrated her, but once she understood that she just needs to do A to get to B the same way deals work it was easy to follow. When she understands the rules of the game she thrives.

And while the Entity isn't the best conversationalist, it also doesn't pass judgement on Ashley's crassness. It doesn't belittle her or question her intelligence like Andrew always does even when they get along. The only time it went, "girl why?" was the period blood summoning, which Ashley simply laughs off. It doesn't seem to care but it does appear to listen to her quietly when she complains. It often doesn't have a response (or maybe it's more accurate to say it doesn't know how to respond most of the time) but it also doesn't cut her off. It even sometimes acts genuinely curious about Ashley, asking about why she's so attached to "the brother" and if she's in the right headspace to do business.

Like when Ashley was first complaining about Andrew in the Realm Between, the Entity lets her finish before continuing its offer. And then later in the parents' basement it makes note of the brother, showing that despite not seeming to care it was paying attention to what she said. How it treats Andrew is also affected by Ashley's response. It wasn't just that Andrew's a Grime Soul that made the Entity so dismissive of him, it was how Ashley introduced him.

She says she doesn't know why she keeps him around, which is why the Entity is later confused at why she wants him around anyway. Even after the vision of her dying at his hand and especially in Shots where she was literally almost killed by him.

Then in Shots when she ends up as his eternal servant and is the most agitated with her, it still lets her stay with Andrew in the Human Realm. There's no reason for the Entity to not keep her trapped in the Demon Realm regardless of how she feels, or even let Andrew leave instead of killing him after he freed all the souls. And yet it does. While also being suuuuper petty about it lol.

"HuRrY uP aNd DuMp HiS aSs, TaR sOul"

This isn't to say it's doing things out of kindness. A lot of what the Entity does seems to be more about what's most convenient while conserving its energy. It's how it treats summoning, where its very calculating on which summons are worth the cost, and it's how it treats the souls it takes, allowing them to hang out in a nice playground so they don't fade too fast. And this extends to its treatment of Ashley. It may want her obedience and for her to dump her brother in Decay, and could push for this harder, but the effort it would take for her to cooperate just wouldn't seem worth it. It's not worth fighting her over it.

It goes in line with one of the first things we learn about demons too.

But also Ashley doesn't care as much about the Entity's reasons more than what it provides. That's why it's impossible for Andrew to convince her it's up to something. She doesn't care! What matters is that the demon gave her the trinket and an isolated place to stay, things that she believes ensures Andrew stays with her.

The certainty of keeping Andrew with the leverage of a trinket to prevent troubles and a place he can't escape her outweighs any price she pays to the Entity. So long as the Entity doesn't separate Andrew from her Ashley will consider the Entity a pal. She gets what she wants and it get what it wants, win win!

...............this friendship might be shaken up depending on how Ashley reacts when Andrew's not there after waking up. I think the Entity might be able to spin it by insinuating Andrew's himself agreed to doing the "cooperating" to go back to the human realm and leave her, which would punt the blame onto Andrew. But it's going to be difficult threading the needle.

So why is the Entity, which as stated before prefers to conserve its energy and only take deals worthwhile, putting so much time and effort in Ashley? Let's explore what this evil little ball of yarn's end goal could be.

Main Course Ashley?

I'm just getting this one out of the way. One of the main predictions that seems to go around is the Entity wanting to eat Ashley's soul and is preparing her for that. While that would fit the whole cannibalism stuff and would match how the Entity treats its souls as free-range livestock, I just don't think this one's that likely.

For one it seems like the only souls the Entity wants to consume are Untainted souls. It calls both the Grime and Tar To-Be souls "useless" when it's given either to snack on. So instead of Tar Souls being the best to eat they might actually be the least edible.

And for two we have the interactions between Ashley and the Entity in Shots & Such. Ashley in her panic told it to stop Andrew from attacking in exchange for "anything." We've seen how this usually works out with the very first summoning in Episode 1.

Offering the demon "anything" gives it free reign to take whatever it wants with no restrictions. Usually that leads to it just flat-out taking the person's soul. But when offered "anything" from Ashley the Entity instead makes her it's eternal servant.

Forever being the key word here. Whatever it's planning for Ashley, it requires her being alive. Or at leave with her soul intact.

As a bonus there's also the terms it set with Andrew before he left.

Clearly the Entity never intended for Andrew to find all five wandering souls and return, but it still agreed to Ashley being in the realm, safe and sound. If it was planning on snacking it wouldn't have agreed to the terms easily.

But "safe and sound" doesn't have to mean "untouched and unchanged" which leads us to...

Ashley Joining the Demon Club?

The other popular theory and the one I agree with most is that the Entity wants Ashley to become a demon.

In Cliffhanger it made a point of explaining its reasoning for choosing which summons to pursue, and lets Ashley sift through the summons herself. It very much felt like it was teaching Ashley how to take souls as a demon would.

During the vision in Episode 2 Ashley said a soul looked cute and the Entity was like "you mean tasty?" It really felt like it was suggesting something to Ashley when it said that, though it could be that as a demon it didn't understand what "cute" meant. Either way I think it wants Ashley to snack on some souls, which is why he's gathering so many. She's a growing demon to-be she needs the nutrients.

To become an Entity probably requires a lot of souls, but depending on the method it might somehow have to involve another Entity spending energy. After all according to the Entity in order for humans to enter the demon world without dying they need to be summoned. Meaning when it was still a human another being had to have summoned it there.

There's also the chance that Ashley's being affected by just interacting with the demon, using the trinket, and/or being in the demon realm and realm in-between and vice versa. In the first troubles ahead vision there's only the red eyes surrounding it.

But then every vision after recharging the trinket includes eyes colored similar to hers.

HMMMMMM......

So yeah my bet is on Ashley becoming a demon. The real question to me is the why. Why does the Entity want another Entity? Here's the options I'm putting down before I mercifully let you go.

Powerful Ally - It might not want to eat Ashley, but there may be a benefit to having a powerful being under your wing. I think this is actually the baseline possibility with Shots in mind, since in that route it plans on keeping Ashley as a servant after she Ascends. I'm also just guessing that newly formed Entities are a lot stronger than veteran Entities like the yarn ball, since they haven't spent any of their energy yet. (Would piss off Andrew because its supposed to be just him and her like they promised. The demon is NOT INVITED!)

Inheritance - There's also the chance it wants to "raise" Ashley to inherit its realm. Perhaps there's a cycle of Entities in the Demon Realm who pass on their demon genes before running out of energy. Because yeah, demon is smol which indicates its used up a lot of its energy already, and while it could consume the many souls in the playground its choosing to only partake for visions and travel fees. Who knows, maybe when Ashley ascends she'll eat the yarn ball, thus completing the inheritance. (The idea of someone else "raising" Ashley would piss off Andrew to no end because she's his problem and no anyone else's)

Fusing - Another interesting idea is if entities can fuse together like cells. That way Ashley's still technically unharmed and uneaten but the Entity combines with her and would be able to siphon her power. Think angler fish, where the tiny male permanently latches onto the much larger female and acts as a parasite stealing nutrients. And in the Shots scenario the Entity would probably have most control of the "body" as Ashley's already its servant (I can't even begin to describe how pissed Andrew would be with this one even without servitude involved like not to curse but my god-)

Loneliness? - Okay like Ashley casually suggests maybe the demon just wants friends in reaction to Andrew's suspicion and its very clear we're supposed to roll our eyes at this like Andrew does...but wouldn't it be funny if she was right? The little yarn ball, alone with it's toy car that no longer moves, plants that it cares for, souls it lets roam around and play instead of consuming...it might state its doing what it does for convenience and utility, but it might also be for something it can't quite remember. That once human need for companionship. It could be like Ashley, someone who on the surface is plain evil, but beneath that is someone just desperate to not be alone...................................Nah probably not. I am interested in seeing a scenario where the yarn ball wants to be what Andrew is to Ashley, or to even be taken care of the way Andrew cares for Ashley, but I fully expect the author to ruthlessly pour cold water over this idea next episode. (...but I mean if it DOES somehow turn out to be true you know how Andrew's going to react already don't you?)

Now I'm leaving out the predictions to what the demon's plans could be that involve Andrew, since in most of Decay Andrew is seen as a nuisance at best and a direct danger to Ashley at worst. The only time the demon seems interested in Andrew is in the Leyley Wins ending, when he becomes harmless to Ashley and is unable to interfere with whatever it wants to do. I'll talk about what the demon could want with Andrew involved in a another post (I've been saying that a lot huh.) Until then, toodles!

[coffinclownery]

Decay Surprises

As promised, here's some of the things that surprised me in Decay Part 1.

Bad Boy Andrew Era - That phonecall scene had me screaming. Andrew's not just bad he was baaaaaaad. He was the bad boy he thought Leyley would grow to like back when they were kids. He was the bad boy the church ladies warn you not to let near your grandaughters. He was the bad boy dark romance booktokers WISH they could write. Did you feel the static in the air during that scene? Because I sure did. Like...wow. Don't want him anywhere near me but like I get the appeal. I think if I was ten years younger and straight & cis and also not a monster-loving freak I'd be in real troublllllle.

Lovesick Andrew Era - I'll be frank before the preview with the chibi siblings talking about the things they could possibly do in Decay I didn't think sex would would be involved at all. And even after that preview I thought Andrew would be too engrossed in his hatred for Leyley that he wouldn't have time to be lovesick over Ashley. But not only did he have time to be lovesick, we had an entire Andrew Deep Dive where we learn just how utterly desperate he is for her. After playing all of Decay Part 1 it actually makes a lot of sense for this to be explored in this route. Because part of the reason why Andrew hates Leyley has to do with his lovesickness for Ashley. Leyley's the baby sister he was forced to parent, and being reminded of that clashes with his attraction to Ashley. The feeling when you can't get down with someone you're into because they don't love you the same way you love them. And also you raised them. And they're your sister. What a struggle huh?

Drunk Garbage Andrew Era - Honestly Ashley's actions and attitude didn't surprise me in Shots. She acted as she always was when desperate to keep Andrew around, catty and angry and needy and capable of doing anything without morals. But with Andrew even I didn't expect this level of loser energy radiating off of him. Hard to make smoking look cool when you're also wasted on booze. Total opposite of Bad Boy Andrew who's fun and makes you want to go "Oooooh did you see what he diiiiiid~" Garbage Andrew makes you want to toss him out like the trash he keeps forgetting to take out.

Wait, Where's Ashley Era??? - Surprised how focused we were on Andrew, but it makes sense? The scene of when the siblings are cutting their parents' bodies is focused on Andrew's emotions in the Decay split, and given how people have always been more forgiving of Andrew's bull than Ashley's it makes sense to start with the route more focused on his POV. I think that's what the author meant in the Q&A when they said in order to achieve true CHAOS and MAYHEM we needed to address the underlying decay first. All these reveals are as important to us as the audience as it is for the characters. Still, not having Ashley's POV in the forefront as often leaves us with only Andrew's impression of her mainly. All of her actions, malicious or not, are being siphoned though Andrew's very warped feelings, and I think it's led some folks to forget how biased Andrew's being and take him at his word. Like people forgetting that Ashley was not in fact born evil and made to ruin Andrew's life. Shocker!

More Development on the Parents - I both hate them more and also like them...? So in a sense they're in the same circle as their kids now. Terrible, terrible, unforgivable, flawed, sad, hurt people.

Ashley has a Job? - Ashley was never wanted/expected of anything the way Andrew is, but now she has the demon who wants to work with her and also wants her specifically for something. Sure we're not certain what it wants exactly (definitely nothing good Andrew's valid not to trust the evil yarn ball) but it's still giving Ashley things she never got before. Responsibilities, a steady job, a place she vibes with and maybe even feel like she belongs, a friend (?). She's actually in a place where she doesn't need Andrew for her basic necessities, which is one of the reasons Andrew assumes she clings to him.

Demon Therapist Clicking his Pen - It's so funny how chill Lord Unknown is. Is he helping Andrew with his emotions out of goodwill? Absofuckinglutely not. He's the same as the Entity in that he's helping out of self-interest, he just does it in his own way. He's able to act more "human" than the Entity, probably because his power gives him a lot of experience with human emotions. He might mean it when he says he wants to be friends and believes they could help each other, but that doesn't mean his help will be what Andrew truly needs. Still, he gave Andrew part of what he needed (someone aside from Ashley to be open about his feelings) the way the Entity gave Ashley something she needed. There's a lot to speculate about Lord Unknown, but I'll set that aside for a later post.

Mr. President, a 2nd Child has been killed - The internet has had a devastating affect on my sense of humor. Why? Why was this the first thing that popped into my head when this happened? Anyway this is another thing that in hindsight shouldn't have surprised me. It really shows that for all his claims of normalcy he truly never had a moral backbone in the first place.

Being Sweet to Each Other? In THIS economy!? - I'm pleasantly surprised we still had sweet endearing moments between our terrible two. They really felt like gasps for air needed when a lot of this episode felt like drowning. For all the awful, awful things they do to the world and each other what draws me in is the sweetness. Even if it's almost impossible, I want to imagine they're still capable of being good to each other, even if they're bad people.

.............Wait, it's a romance!!??? in THIS ECONOMY????? - Another thing I probably shoulda clocked from the moment the author mentioned that this game was geared toward woman interested in gothic romance. I think the mention of romance, specifically gothic romance, really makes things click together and make sense. I now know what kind of story the author's trying to write. But dammit I'm already in boiling water at this point so what the hell. Still think the healthiest thing would be if they...didn't do an incest? Having their own full lives before doing an incest at least? But being at your healthiest doesn't always mean being at your happiest, and a lot of the damage has already been done. So lets just wait and see how this terrible horrible no good romance story goes shall we?

Next few posts are going to be predictions for Decay Part 2 and beyond, though I don't think they'll all fit in one post, so here, surprise poll be upon ye!!!