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secondary source four.

since i’m already so committed to exploring the idea of self deception, i decided to look into what self deception is in the first place, as well as why it happens. at the root of it, people deceive themselves because of fear from damage to the ego. how people may respond to that fear is different in many cases. in one case, someone could project all of their problems onto one another and blame everything on them (called projection), while in another, one might try to find humor in a serious situation to brighten things up a bit.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201508/the-psychology-self-deception

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primary source no iv.

in chapter fourteen of the book, gey is approached a couple times by people wanting to investigate more about hela, more specifically about who the cells came from. in order to keep the privacy of the lacks family, gey refused to let the writers publicly use henrietta’s name. these writers were pretty self deluded, believing that getting the next hot article should be a priority over protecting people’s privacies. 

secondary source three.

another example of self deception and media can be found in something tragic that happened this past summer, being the suicide of desmond amofah. desmond amofah, known on the internet as etika, was a youtuber who made more edgy (?) content about whatever he felt passionate about, like games or movies. despite his content being edgy, he won the hearts of countless people on the internet and seemed like a genuinely nice and fun guy to be around. however, in 2019, etika had a series of breakdowns that shook everyone who saw them. it was unclear if they were staged, but many people were concerned with his mental health. after some time passed, and when things seemed like they had calmed down, etika had taken his own life. he deceived himself into thinking that he was irredeemable, that nothing fix who he was. by the time he posted his last video, etika already convinced himself that he was going to die, and wanted his story to be something people should learn from. this really shows a darker side of the mind and how one’s negative thoughts and beliefs, which probably aren’t true, can affect them.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/26/style/etika-dead.html

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primary source, but the third one.

near the end of part one (life) and the beginning of part two (death), i noticed how deeply connected henrietta was to her family and just how much of an impact losing her must have been for them. from pages 83 and 84, we get to look into everything henrietta did for her family, like cooking and giving her cousins a place to sleep. on page 85, emmet, henrietta’s cousin, describes seeing henrietta in agony as a “memory i’ll take to my grave.” seeing someone you care for, who is usually strong and kind, in so much pain had to have been extremely heartbreaking.

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the second secondary source.

when i was procrastinating before reading the immortal life of henrietta lacks by going through whatever’s been recommended to me on youtube, i came across a video titled the bizarre world of fake martial arts. the creator of this video, super eyepatch wolf, lists different ways people have deceived themselves as well as others about how skilled martial arts/kung fu masters are. i think it’s super interesting how it seems like these “masters” might genuinely believe that they’re so powerful, but when they come to face actual fighters, they lose so quickly.

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lacks secondary source one.

family is something that a lot of people value, and i think is a prominent topic in the book the immortal life of henrietta lacks. looking deeper into the topic of family and our relationships within them, it’s very common that a loss of a family member, be it someone leaving or death, affects people heavily. in henrietta’s case, she lost her daughter elsie. “part of henrietta died that day when elsie was sent away.” there are many movies that portray the loss of a loved one, but the lion king is the first that comes to mind for me. when simba’s father, mufasa, died, simba ran away. he became easy to influence and soon adopted a mindset of hakuna matata (which means no worries, or that there are no troubles). as part of henrietta died when she sent elsie away, part of simba died when he lost his father.

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lacks primary source two.

one of the things that stuck out to me the most when starting out reading this book was crazy joe. crazy joe was described as a man who was almost pitifully in love with henrietta. on page 23, skloot writes about the first time crazy joe tried to kill himself over henrietta. yeah. the first time. there’s another a page after, when henrietta gets married. i think this heavily relates to the abstract topic of self deception. crazy joe is deranged about henrietta, making himself believe that he can’t live on without her. self deception isn’t necessarily new in this book, though. on page seven, deborah, one of henrietta’s daughters, deceived herself into thinking that henrietta’s spirit was influencing events that happened in everyone’s lives. 

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lacks primary source one.

reading through the first five-ish chapters of the immortal life of henrietta lacks, you notice how important family will be in the book. even at the very beginning, when skloot is learning about hela for the first time, she wants to dig in deeper as to who these cells came from. one of the questions skloot had about the cells were if henrietta lacks had any children or family (pg 4). a few pages after that, we get to read deborah’s thoughts about how her mother’s cells are being used. this introduces an overall theme of family to the book, which i’m interested to read more into. later on, on pages 44-45, we get more information about lacks’s relationship with the rest of her family. one of the more important ones being with her daughter elsie. here, we see that henrietta was extremely caring and had a deep connection with her family. when it came to be that her daughter elsie had to be sent away, she was described as having “a bit of her dying that day, that losing her was worse than anything else that happened to her.”  

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all arts, including music, have extremely creative artists. some, of course, are more creative than others. babymetal, though, takes the cake for one of the more unique musical artists i’ve ever listened to. this is especially the case in their song called “gimme chocolate!!”

i first heard this song a bit out of context; i only heard the first few lyrics in some random video on youtube this morning. it was strange, though. it was just like listening to some normal metal when out of nowhere, i hear a cutesy voice say, “atatata taata taatatata zukkyun!”

it was so strange and so out of place. i just had to hear the full song. the entire song is just about some girls wanting chocolate (clearly stated by the title). now, you see, i wouldn’t call wanting chocolate an entirely interesting premise for a song, but you just need to do one thing to sell it to me. make it metal. babymetal masterfully uses juxtaposition of heavy metal and moe/cutesy j pop.

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music is a huge part of my life and half•alive happens to be one of my favorite bands. i love both the lyrics and the music of all of their music, but this specific song, the fall, hits me the hardest.

i especially love the phrase mentioned in the post. i can totally relate to just staring at something, whether it be an english paper, a canvas, or my computer screen and just not doing anything out of fear i’ll mess up (even when i know what i want to do).

::these words are supposed to be simple:: ::but it seems thats not the case:: ::this page is staring back at me:: ::i’m afraid to put a mark on it’s face::

:: the fall :: half•alive :: 3 ::

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it’s relaxing to step outside and take in the view, yeah? everything stops for a moment. you can stare off into the distance, maybe sort out some loose thoughts in your mind. even this strange jellyfish-looking creature needs some time for a breather now and then. what i really appreciate about this piece is how kurageneric juxtaposed normal (but still beautiful), everyday scenery with a quirky little jellyfish thing. it is weird, yes, but i think the impact of this piece is more powerful with this silly little creature in such a peaceful environment. to me, it means that no matter who you are, it’s important to take a break from the craziness that is life. to take a step away from everything that’s going on. it doesn’t matter how you look or act. everybody needs a moment to themselves sometimes.

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What Do I Want From Education?

You know, I think most people would probably agree that education is something that generally helps people grow and find their place in society. It’s passing generations and generations of knowledge down to build a bright future for those being educated. All over the place, you would hear things about education and how it prepares you for the “real world,” right? You spend the longest years of your life preparing for the real world, but why? From my perspective, I can see what the real world is and why other people would want others to be a benefit to it, but why should I want to be a part of it? Why is the future something I should be interested in? I don’t really care about the tools necessary to succeed in the future. You can have the tools necessary to build, say for example, a couch. All of the things you need to build that couch is in front of you. Do you want to build it? If you have no reason to, I doubt you would. Now, change the scenario. What if you were to build a couch, but you’d save a puppy for every couch you put together? Now (hopefully) you’d find the best possible way to make as many couches as you can. This is the same for me and education. I’m not looking for tools to be successful- those are right in front of me. What I want from education is strong enough motivation to be educated.