comfortablyselfloathing

[comfortablyselfloathing]

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spurs

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Pardon me while I drop this here with no warning and then promptly disappear with no Katakuri content for another 5 months

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i shouldn't be too upset about things no matter how big they are. it's just how life is and the faster you get over it, the more you lose your sense of self but the less pain you'll feel

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dofuwani coworkers au again

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perks of size changing bf

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i love your art so much that it inspired me to make a smol au where kata is the reader's childhood crush! @mewiyev

in my dreams you loved me back.

i still see you in the dewy soccer field, playing to your hearts content while i waste my break time by the window viewing your ecstatic form. you were pretty, beautiful, shining— a gem i thank god for existing everyday. cropped hair, tall and muscular, tan, wide jaw yet sharp nose, i’ve studied these features so much that the moment i blink, an afterimage as immaculate remains.

it was horrible, i felt horrible, i feel horrible. you remain in my conscious thoughts so many years later. a beautiful image i never had the courage to gaze upon closely, an unforgettable regret i grieve to this very day. we’ve both grown up, no longer the kids we were and yet i still found myself gazing upon you from afar, wondering, wondering, wondering.

if i came up and spoke, if i came up and asked you out, if i came up and just said hello, would i find out that you also dreamt that i loved you back?

doodles

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Loss

May the trembling in my chest that keeps my tears flowing shake your motionless body awake. May your crystal clear gaze come to life and glisten like mine. May your parched agape lips tighten to a smile and tell me the words like you always do. I love you, I love you, I love you.

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In another life, would have I been yours and would have you been mine? In another life, would you not have bled to see me smile? In another life would have I not thrown away everything I had to hold your hand?

All these questions yet here we are in this lifetime, pondering them. All these regrets pass through our chest like arrows piercing through arteries and veins. Blood flowing to the very last drop, you cup my cheek and pinch my smile. Ghosts of what I had echoes in the hollows of my chest while I hold your hand.

Perhaps it is the pain and the loss that keeps us thinking, keeps us wishing, keeps us loving. Perhaps it is you, perhaps it is I, perhaps it is love that keeps us from winning.

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PRETTY BOY

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“Hello?”  Caspar opens the door a little wider. A sliver of light illuminates the room. There's no furniture in here, just a dirty, bare floor.  Wait. Something is in the middle of the room. Caspar comes a little closer— He gasps, blood going cold as he realizes there's a woman here, sitting squarely in the middle of a pentagram. The yellow glow of the hall casts a sliver of light that slinks down her body, over soft curves and pale skin, none of it clothed. She’s kneeling, but her expression is anything but submissive. Her eyes lock onto Caspar with a cold look of determination.  They stare at each other. The seconds stretch until finally, she breaks the silence. Her eyes flash a vermillion red, pupils contracting into inhuman slits. “Will you help me, Caspar?”

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double twist?

Giovanna: It's unfair, Michael! I told you everything, everything! about me and yet you've never told me a thing about yourself. Michael: I would if I could but I am not one of your friends, Giovanna, I am your therapist and quite frankly I don't want to end our therapeutic relationship like this. Giovanna: Therapeutic? Therapeutic for you maybe. Did it heal any of your inner scars knowing that your formidable rival's sister is constantly in despair and agony?

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😳😳😳

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Flower hair🌸🌺💮and vines too ⭐🌟✨

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My dreams haven't really been subtle lately.

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a little reflection about life and beliefs

thinking about it, it's kind of depressing that its gonna take me till i'm a grown adult to get the "childish" things that i like because my family was too poor to afford it. it's depressing that having a fancy or functional study area is something i can finally afford to have now that i no longer need to actively study. it's depressing that i can finally have the toy that i've wanted to play with now that i was technically past the phase of wanting to play. i'm kind of excited yet also sad that little me could've had a better life. even now i have many regrets. if i was less financially insecure, i would've hung out with friends without considering if my clothes, phone or bag looked cheap or old . i know it sounds superficial but it is normal to care about your appearance during your teenage years. those are the years where you try to find groups you fit in. this also includes people who have too many children. imagine how your child would grow without your attention because you couldn't give everyone equal attention or you were busy earning money for your family to survive.

i do not resent my family but i wish people who kept their children despite financial and other struggles considered if their children would be able to grow well in less than subpar conditions. especially those who refused abortion for the sake of moral or religious obligation.

a child needs more than just food, clothing and shelter. they need love, care, time, patience, emotional intelligence, healthy environment, and a good understanding of how to raise a child. they're not a plant you can keep and watch grow. they're real live people who require everything you can offer to survive and grow optimally.

think about your child before anything else for they are the one primarily affected by your decision. are you sure you're respecting life by bringing life into this world and making it suffer along with you or are you just humoring your religious guilt and feelings of moral superiority.