commonurmoml

[commonurmoml]

Purity

Rafe Cameron x innocent!catholic!girl

Warnings: fluff, mc insecure about rafe's past, underage drinking, age gap?

Words: 1.5k

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The base is loud enough to hear a block away and the sent of weed and alcohol is thick in the air. He knows it, he can tell she's uncomfortable. The sweet innocent girl who was raised by wealthy conservative catholics looks around the party like she's a child lost in a store. While every girl in the house is wearing a bikini and tiny shorts; she wears a flowery yellow coverup that flows down to just above her knees, a golden cross around her neck, birkenstocks, some small gold bracelets and anklets, a gold purity ring, and the diamond ring Rafe gave her alongside promises of forever. She rarely goes to parties but it's for Rafe's birthday and she couldn't bring herself to miss it. So here she is, at a loud and crowded party, the only sense of comfort she can grasp onto is the feeling of being tucked tightly under Rafe's protective arm. He walks through the house like he owns it, a cocky smirk on his face. Every couple seconds some person stops them to say hi, dapping him up and wishing him a happy birthday. By the time they get out to the porch, at least three people have offered her a drink which she has declined more politely than anyone else in the house has ever acted.

"Rafe!!!!" Kelce yells the second he sees the man, his fiancé tight at his side. A crowd of cheers follows Kelce, as if Rafe was some superstar who finally showed up to the red carpet. He takes a big swig of the drink in his hand, the movement squishing her closer to him.

"Hey man." He daps up Kelce.

"Hey happy birthday." Kelce smiles.

"Thanks. And thanks for this party, it's sick man." He smiles, looking around his friend's house. She wonders why Rafe didn't just throw the party himself.

"Yah of course." Kelce turns to the younger girl. "It's lovely to see you as ever Ms. Cameron." He teases and she rolls her eyes.

"Yah yah, we're in love. Glad everyone finds that entertaining." She jokes, feeling a lot more at ease now that she is outside where it's a bit quieter and talking with a friend.

"Oh it's very entertaining. Satan spawn engaged to a nun. Who could've thought?" Topper comes up from them.

"Hi Topper." She rolls her eyes jokingly.

"Hey." He smiles. "Happy birthday Rafe." He says giving Rafe a nod who returns it. "God I can't believe you came to this. I thought you hated parties." Topper says.

"Yah but it's for Rafe." She says and Rafe smiles, leaning down to kiss her.

"Oh gross." Kelce says and she giggles, pulling away.

"Do you need a drink or something?" Topper uses the cup he's holding to gesture to her empty hands.

"Oh. I don't drink." She mutters, embarrassed which makes Topper chuckle a bit. Rafe sees this and immediately hits him on the back of the head, hard.

"Oww." Topper groans, giving Rafe a 'what was that' look which Rafe returns with a menacing squint. "My bad I just... it's kinda easy to forgot how goody you are." Topper says and she gives a tight lipped smile.

"Don't they drink wine at church?" Kelce asks, taking a swig of whatever is in his red solo cup.

"Right. Plus Catholics are kinda like known for being drinkers." Topper adds.

"A sip of wine. We drink a sip of wine once a week." She corrects Kelce. "And I'm not 21 yet. Drinking isn't the sin it's the crime part of it." She clarifies.

"Ahhh. Got it so all we have to do to get you to drink with us is get them to lower the drinking age." Topper jokes.

"Do you even know who them is?" She muses, a small smile on her lips.

"The president?" He guesses, only half joking. She just laughs, shaking her head at her friend. And they really are, her friends that is. When her and Rafe started dating and she started hanging out with Kelce and Topper; she was skeptical. She always assumed they were dumb frat boys and they kinda are but to be honest, they're actually really good friends. They're good people.

"I pray for our future." She teases and Rafe chuckles.

"So. How does it feel to be 20?" Topper asks and Rafe rolls his eyes.

"The same way it felt to be 19." He chuckles.

"Yah accept now you're twenty and engaged to a seventeen year old. That's way more creepy than being nineteen with a seventeen year old, dude." Kelce teases.

"And how exactly does that logic work?" Rafe furrows his eyebrows.

"Oh. No, he's right. You're in your twenties now, old man. It's creepy." She jeers nodding, playful smirk adorning her face.

"Yah, yah. I'm a horrible perv." Rafe deadpans and Topper chuckles.

"Well we all knew that." Topper continues.

"Ok. Enough." She rolls her eyes at the comment slung towards her fiancé, false indifference etched on her face. But of course that was a lie. She hated the constant reminders of the women Rafe had been through. She had always imagined her husband would also be a virgin on their wedding night. In fact, she fell for the literal opposite of the husband she had prayed for every night as a kid. She wanted the perfect man. Not too tall that she couldn't kiss him easily but not too short that she couldn't wear heals, kind to everyone he meets, respectful of the world around him, a good man, a christian man, a virgin, and most importantly: handsome. Rafe is only one of those things and yet she was head over heels for him the moment she met him freshman year. It's not like she just fell for his looks, she was in love with everything else. Rafe is funny and protective. She had lived in this bubble her entire life, hidden away from the world around her. Rafe was a whole new side to the world. A new lease on life. The first person she'd known to ever ask what she wants. He makes her feel a way she never has: he makes her feel seen. And just as she remembers how desperately in love she is; she's reminded of every reason she told herself it would never work.

"Happy birthday Rafeyyy." A girl wearing practically nothing stumbles over to the group, leading with her chest, a slur on her tongue.

"Kyle, you're drunk." He deadpans and the three spectators hold their breath. She wouldn't dare step in; for all she's been through, the young girl has always struggled to stand up for herself. That's why Rafe has made it his mission in life to stand up for her.

"You're mean." She still thinks this is a game, pushing his shoulder. The same arm that was lazily draped over his fiancé a moment ago. The same one that will have a ring on it by the end of the year. She knows who he belongs to, she just doesn't care.

"And you're really pissing me off." He says angrily.

"What?" She plays dumb.

"I'm in love with this very beautiful woman right here. And I'm certain you know that. Walk away because I don't have enough restraint to not hit a girl." He pushes the girl back to her friends, reprimanding her for the blatant disrespect towards the woman he loves. He does everything right and it still bothers her. How could it not? The sideways glances and whispers, the girls who still looked at her like she was temporary. But it didn't matter. Not really. Not when every time she doubted, every time her stomach twisted with jealousy she wasn't proud of, Rafe looked at her with soft eyes and called her 'baby' in that low voice that made the world stop spinning. The first and only times anyone ever knew Rafe Cameron to be soft when when he looked at her. Uncharacteristically, he didn't flinch when she said she was saving herself for marriage. Never pushed. Never laughed. And that ment something. That has to mean something. So what if her parents and friends never liked him? So what if everyone thought they were an odd match? Maybe love wasn't about checking off every box on some childhood list. Maybe it was about choosing someone even when it makes no sense to anyone else. Hell, when it makes no sense to you.

"What a bitch." Rafe rolls his eyes, bringing his cup to his lips and pulling his girl back to his space.

"Rafe." She hits her fiancé lightly on the shoulder.

"What?"

"She was drunk. Take the high road." The girl says, though she can't help but tuck herself back into the nook of his arm to show the world who he belongs to.

"Yah. Right. The high road." He rolls his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean." She giggles.

"Never mind." He shakes his head a smirk on his face but they both knew what he meant. He could read the girl on his arm like a book, and that's how they both liked it.

[commonurmoml]

Drunken Mood Swings

Rafe Cameron x drunk!emotional!female

Warnings: fluff, drinking, language, Rafe accidentally makes mc cry

Words: 1.1k

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"Can you just get in the fucking car?" Rafe practically begs, not having any interest in dealing with her attitude today. He had had a really long day and he just wanted to go home. She had to be the single most stubborn person he has ever met. She walks down the road, his truck pulled off to the side, slowly driving at her pace.

"Say you're sorry." She huffs, glancing over at her annoyed boyfriend and picking up her pace as if she's going to out run the vehicle. The increased pace causes her to stumble, her pride doing nothing for the fact that she's five shots and a couple drinks deep.

"Baby, I'm sorry. Will you please just get in?" He seemed sincere, but not sincere enough for her. She stops moving suddenly with a dramatic stomp and turns to him.

"Say it like you mean it." Her words slur together.

"I did. Because I do mean it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have picked a fight with Maybank. I get that he's your friend or whatever. Now can you get in the car? It's starting to get dark and I am not letting you walk home like this." He runs a frustrated hand down his face. She doesn't live too far from here. She's made the walk plenty of times sober but right now she looks like she's about to fall over just standing there. She huffs out, rolling her eyes as a final act of rebellion before she gets into the truck.

"Fine." She puts all her weight into opening the door and Rafe rolls his eyes at her dramatics. She falls back when she tries to get into the lifted truck, giggling carelessly as she does so.

"Jesus christ." He jumps in his seat, reaching out to grab her arm so she doesn't tumble out of the truck. He uses his hold on her to pull her fully into the car, forcing her back into the seat and buckling her seatbelt for her. The second she makes contact with the plush comfortable seat of her boyfriend's truck, she forgets entirely why she insisted on walking. Her feat burn from her stubbornness and she kicks her shoes off. That's when she finally notices they aren't moving.

"My house is-" She stumbles, actually thinking he forgot where she lives.

"I know where your house is, dumbass, close the fucking door." His tone is much harsher than he means it to be and he immediately regrets it. He's not mad at her, he's just tired. He knows she's just tired too, tired and drunk. He also knows she gets quite emotional when she's drunk, and she hates being yelled at always. He doesn't want to look up because he knows what will be there to greet him. And of course, there it is. She looks at him, tears brimming in her eyes.

Rafe can't help but feel bad. He knows it's not that serious but his heart still breaks at the sight of his pretty girl on the verge of tears because of him. He sighs, putting the car in park and immediately getting out. He quickly walks around the now parked car so he can have access to her.

"I'm sorry." She mumbles out when she sees him standing in front of her. She tries to ensure her tears don't fall but, they were getting dangerously close.

"No. Baby, I'm sorry. It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong." Rafe sighs, placing a reassuring kiss on her lips. "Ok?" He asks and she doesn't respond, still focused on not crying. Rafe frowns, bringing his hands up to cup her cheeks and wipe away the tears from her eyes. He then kisses her again, this time giving her a small pat on the cheek. When he pulls back he notices her trying to hold back a smile and it brings a bright smile to his lips. "Ok?" He repeats and she honestly doesn't even remember what he said before.

"Mmhm." She agrees, a small nod and a loud giggle. The sound is angelic to Rafe. He notices her shivering a bit before he closes the door and frowns.

"You cold?" She looks down at her hands and nods, for some reason embarrassed about being cold. He just chuckles, shaking his head lightly at her random coyness. Her drunken mood swings are certainly the single most entertaining part of being in a relationship with this girl. He opens the large glove compartment and pulls out the neatly folded blanket he put in there just for her. He drapes the blanket over her and the second it touches her, she pulls it closer and curls up into a ball against the chair. "Better?"

"Yah." She giggles tiredly and closes her eyes, going into full passenger princess mode. The last thing she hears before she drifts to sleep is Rafe closing her door for her.

She is woken up by jostling as Rafe tries to unlock the door with her unconscious body held bridal style in his arms, the white blanket still wrapped around her.

"Rafe?" Her voice slurs out.

"Shit." He mumbles to himself when he realizes she's awake. "Sorry, princess, I was trying not to wake you."

"It's ok." She mumbles, slinging her hands around his neck and resting her head against his chest. He smiles when he feels her nuzzling close to him, opening the door quickly now that he doesn't have to worry about waking her. He immediately starts walking upstairs, placing her on his blue comforter when he gets up to his room. She finally realizes this isn't her house, the mattress is way too soft. Plus she doesn't have a second floor what is she, a Kook? She lifts her head, furrowing her eyebrows when she realizes she's in her boyfriend's mansion. Rafe laughs, amused that she's just now noticed she's on the complete opposite side of the island.

"I didn't think it would be a good idea to bring you home considering the fact that you're wrecked right now." He explains and she doesn't really listen, slipping back into sleep. He smiles at her sleeping form, god she's adorable.

He slips the white blanket off of her, stripping her out of the bikini and shorts she wore to the beach party and replacing them with one of his shirts. He then carefully takes the makeup off of her face, doing her entire long skincare routine and even brushing her teeth for her. God this man is pussy whipped. When he is done getting ready and getting her ready for bed, he lays next to her and pulls her into his chest. She subconsciously moves into his chest further, cuddling into her spot on him.

[commonurmoml]

Too Perfect

Rafe Cameron x Routlege!female

Warnings: comfort, angst, drinking, language, drugs, heartbreak, fighting, crying, rafe and mc are broken up, parties, drunk driving

Words: 3.3k

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They can already hear the music blast loudly, reverberating through the entire beach, even half a mile away. Of course this was the only party tonight, why wouldn't it be? Parties at the Boneyard bring everyone out; kook, pouge, hell even tourons show up. Rafe opens his phone to check if she's there, which Topper immediately snatches from him.

"Nope. No more stocking her. It's weird. You can have this back later." He says, shoving it into his pocket.

"I don't wanna fucking do this." Rafe grumbles, already high out of his mind, and his two friends roll their eyes; bored of the conversation they have had a thousand times. It's been three weeks and Rafe has refused to go anywhere where she might be so, being the dicks that they are, Topper and Kelce decided to drag him out to a party she was literally throwing. Ok, so technically it was John B's party but really... the two of them are inseparable.

"Dude, just don't talk to her." Topper shakes his head, glancing over at Rafe before focusing on the road again. "She's probably not even gonna be there." He lies. She definitely will. The party is literally being thrown by her brother. It would be shocking if she wasn't.

"Plus didn't YOU break up with HER?" Kelce chuckles. "I thought you were 'just using her to get under John B's skin'." He quotes what Rafe would always say when they questioned why he was dating her. Rafe turns fully in his seat to give Kelce a death glare.

"Shut the fuck up. No one asked you, bitch." Rafe spits the words like venom, the coke making him extra mean.

"Jesus, sorry. Didn't realize you were pussy whipped by a dirty fucking pouge." He laughs and Topper groans, the only sober one in the car and fully aware that he's gonna have to deal with Rafe.

"Dude, can we no-" Topper's attempt at peace is quickly cut off.

"Don't fucking call her that. I'll kill you." Rafe is now fully turned around and clumsily trying to climb into the back seat to hit Kelce. Topper is quick to put his hand out, trying to wrestle Rafe back into his seat while simultaneously not crashing the car. He thanks god when Rafe complies, sliding back down and waiting silently to arrive at the beach.

Once they arrive, the car shakes from the vibrations of the base that plays loudly around the crowded beach. The boys immediately get out and start to walk through large groups of people to get drinks. The second Rafe sees John B he stops in his tracks. When her brother is around, she normally isn't too far behind. Topper glances over to Rafe, immediately noticing he is no longer walking with the group.

"Kelce!" He stops his friend, who looks at him confused. Topper jerks his head, motioning to Rafe who is standing a couple feet behind them just staring at John B, JJ, Pope, and Kiara. He's looking for her.

"Jesus." Kelce mumbles, shaking his head, when he realizes what Rafe is looking at. He walks over to Rafe putting his hands on both of the taller boy's shoulders, pulling Rafe out of his trance. "Come on, creepy. Let's go get you a drink." He teases slightly, directing him to a keg.

"Yah." Rafe mumbles, filling a red solo cup with what is surely shitty beer. The three get their drinks and move off to the side of the beach that is more populated by kooks. Almost an hour passes and the three talk and hang out with some friends. Actually... Topper and Kelce talk and hang out with some friends. Rafe just stands there, looking for her.

"Dude." Topper deadpans, now under the influence and fully relaxed enough to tease his friend with Kelce. "You gotta stop staring, it's fucking weird." He says and Rafe just glares at him.

"Shut up. I'm not doing anything." Rafe poorly defends, bringing his drink up to his lips and taking a huge gulp of the warm beer.

"Sure." Kelce chuckles. "So you weren't surveying the whole beach for her." Rafe just rolls his eyes.

"You two are both dicks, why'd you even bring me here?" Rafe snaps.

"Fuck, cause we didn't think it was that big of a deal. Have some fucking fun. It's not like you were in love with her." Topper defends like it's the craziest idea in the world but his face drops the second he sees the look of guilt in Rafe's eyes. No. No fucking way. Rafe is practically a psychopath when it comes to girls. Rafe doesn't do love. No fucking way Rafe Cameron was in love with someone, much less a pouge.

"Right." Rafe mumbles, averting eye contact and now Topper and Kelce are both giving him looks of genuine shock. Like the kind of looks you give someone who tells you your mom just died.

"Rafe are y-" Kelce's words are cut off by none other than JJ Maybank.

"You need to leave." He states simply.

"Excuse me?" Rafe dramatically turns to him, getting threateningly in his face.

"You. Need. To LEAVE." JJ speaks to him in the way you would a child.

"And why the fuck is that?" Rafe drops his drink to push JJ, sending the shorter blond boy stumbling back into the sand. This is when John B, Kie, and Pope rush over, noticing the interaction when they hear a crowd of people 'ooo' at Rafe pushing JJ.

"Yo, what the fuck?" Kie says, helping JJ up.

"What's going on?" John B stands between the two as if he's taming two wild animals.

"He needs to leave." JJ says, trying to rush Rafe but both Pope and Kie hold him back.

"I didn't do shit!" Rafe defends, copying JJ's actions but John B is the one to prevent it this time. John B steps forward a bit, coming chest to chest with Rafe and preventing him from moving towards JJ any further without fully tackling him.

"Really? You didn't do anything? Can't think of anything you did? Dick." Kie yells at him, getting angry on behalf of her friend. A small feeling of guilt washes over Rafe.

"Where is she?" Rafe asks, looking between the group.

"Not here, and she somehow knows you're here."

"Wonder how." Topper quietly jokes to Kelce and the two chuckle. They know exactly how she knows he's here. She and Rafe downloaded life360 months ago when she freaked out because he got super fucked up and stopped responding. It was like two days, not even long enough to be a bender but he has still never felt worse about something he did then when he saw the worried tears in her eyes. He immediately agreed to download the app and promised to never delete it no matter what. It's the only thing they haven't deleted or blocked each other on. Part of him still doesn't want to break his promise. He wants to pretend like he hasn't gotten rid of it because he just forgot. He can pretend like he doesn't check on her at least five times a day till he's blue in the face, his friends know the truth.

"She ain't gonna come if you're here which is why you need to leave." JJ responds angrily. Rafe looks down at John B who is now glaring at him, protective of his sister.

"Bullshit." Rafe snaps.

"Dude, let's just go." Topper puts his hand on Rafe's shoulder, pulling him back a bit. The revelation that his player friend is, or at least was, in love kinda rocked him. He wants to get Rafe home before he does something he regrets, and fighting her brother and best friend while she's already mad at him is certainly regrettable.

"Yah, why don't you." JJ says and Pope scolds him, knowing his words aren't helping. Rafe looks between the group of pouges and then glances back at his friends. His eyes are wild and his head is on a constant swivel. He seems genuinely freaked out.

"You're not even having fun, let's just go. We can stop by Barry's and pick up some." Kelce suggests, picking up on Topper's thoughts that he is going to seriously regret this in the morning.

"Fine." Rafe mumbles, angrily turning away, not bothering to acknowledge anyone as he pushes past the crowds to find Topper's car. Topper and Kelce struggle to keep up with his quick pace, following closely behind. When they get to the car, Rafe is already sitting in the passengers seat, waiting for them.

"What the fuck is your problem? It's not like you were even having fun." Topper mumbles as he gets in the car, immediately starting it and driving off towards Barry's house.

"Bullshit she doesn't wanna be there if I am." Rafe grumbles, rolling his eyes at JJ's words.

"Can you blame her? Dude she told you she loved you and you dumped her." Kelce reminds. "And apparently you actually do fucking lov-."

"Shut up." Rafe cuts him off. "I don't." He tries to defend though it's the least confident he has ever sounded. Topper glances in his rear view mirror, making knowing eye contact with Kelce. A split in the road forces Topper to make a decision. Just turn right, get some coke from Barry and go home. Of course, he goes left. "Dude, this isn't the way to Barry's." Rafe mumbles, looking back at the direction they just came from.

"That's cause we're not going to Barry's." Topper slurs. This is a stupid decision and he knows it. Forcing Rafe to confront his issues never went well. "You gotta fucking talk to her because I can't deal with the bitching anymore." He looks over to see panic in Rafe's eyes.

"No. Not today. I'm not ready." He looks around, turning to Kelce for support in his decision to evade his problems.

"Sorry man, Topp's right. This shit is getting annoying."

"Fuck. I'm too fucked up to talk to her right now. What do I even say?" Rafe panics, looking around as if he will find an escape.

"I don't know but you better figure it out." Topper laughs, pulling into the driveway of the Château. The look Rafe gives him genuinely shocks him. He has never seen his friend look so vulnerable. "Rafe..." He doesn't know what to say.

"I'm fine." He insists but he makes no movement to get out of the car.

"Just talk to her. The worst that happens is that she doesn't want to talk." Kelce rolls his eyes, completely sprawled out across the back seat by now. Rafe forces himself out of the car, having no intention of looking like some love sick pussy in front of his friends. Topper rolls down the window, leaning in so he can talk to his friend who is quickly walking away.

"How long you think this will take?" Topper yells out.

"Don't wait up." Rafe yells back.

"Whoa! I don't think that's a good id-" He stops in his tracks, spinning around quickly and cutting his blonde friend off.

"I said don't wait up." His usually commanding tone back in his voice. He turns back and walks into the Château without even bothering to knock. He walks swiftly, his commanding presence not faltering... not until he hears her voice. It's quiet and muffled, coming from behind the closed door to her room at the end of the hallway, but it's her. It's the first time he's heard her voice since they broke up and the sound of it makes his stomach turn.

"I- I don't care if he's not there anymore, JJ. I'm not coming." She pauses, clearly waiting for him to speak on the other line. Her voice sounds hoarse and quiet. She seems tired and the amount of guilt that runs through him that the thought that it's his fault makes him want to throw up. She would normally have raised her voice by now but she just sounds tired. "I just don't wanna come. I'm not in the mood to see people." She pauses again, still not bothering to raise her voice. "No. No, Jesus Christ I'm not depressed... Ok well tell Pope I'm not... I'm serious... JJ... I'm fine, just let me sleep." She finalizes with a sigh, going silent once her call is presumably done.

After a moment, Rafe gathers back his composure and takes a deep breath, pushing his way into her room. She jumps at the sudden noise, terrified of someone breaking into her home.

"It's just me." Rafe tries to reassure, though he's not certain in this moment if that's better.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Her voice cracks and as she looks up at him he fully takes in her appearance. Her eyes are puffy watery and red, partly dried tears streaking across her cheeks. Her lips are cracked and dry and look as if they have been bleeding recently. Her nose is red and she sniffles a bit. Her body is contorted into a ball and wrapped in a blanket. Under he can see the blue sweatshirt that covers her body. His sweatshirt. Rafe wants to kill himself at the sight. He can't believe he's responsible for hurting her, the girl he promised to protect. The girl he promised to never let anyone hurt.

"I... I wanted to tell you I'm sorry." Rafe approaches her bed slowly as he apologizes. The closer he gets, the more she tries to control her tears. She doesn't really want Rafe to know how much she's hurting. What she doesn't know is he is hurting just as much.

"JJ put you up to this?" She rolls her eyes, making note to scold her friend for meddling. She quickly brings her hand to her face and wipes the tears away.

"No." He defends, carefully sitting on the bed next to her.

"Bullshit." She lets out a shaky laugh. "You don't apologize." She deadpans. He sighs and reaches out for her. When his hand touches hers, she jerks it away. "Rafe." She warns, the tears she just wiped away collecting in her eyes again.

"Baby." He begs, calling her the name on instinct.

"Don't." She demands, squeezing her eyes shut, a single tear falling down her cheek when she does so.

"I... I should have never broke up with you. I miss you."

"Rafe. Please don't do this to me. Don't say that because I will do it. I'll go running back into your arms and I'll get hurt again." She is now full on crying, looking at her ex-lover with blurry eyes.

"I'm not asking for you back. I just... I need you to know I miss you." He sighs. The reasons he broke up with her aren't gone. He wants nothing more than to love her. To kiss her but, he can't. "I lov-" She immediately cuts him off.

"Don't." She sobs outs. "Please don't say something you don't mean." She cries hard. He wraps his arms around her shaking body, his hand gripping the back of her head. He is overwhelmed by the feeling of her in his arms again. God, she smells so sweet.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers into her hair. He hates himself for making her cry like this. If he was anyone else, Rafe would have already beat him to a pulp. She just cries, allowing him to hold her because to be honest it has been the first time she has felt whole since they broke up. So, instead of pushing him away, she wraps herself around him and buries her head into his shoulder to cry into.

"Why?" Her voice is soft and weak. "Why did you leave?" She sobs again.

"I-" He doesn't want to tell her the real reason. How is he supposed to tell her she's too good for him? He really doesn't want her to blame herself. But, he's never lied to her and he's not gonna start now. "I'm fucked up." He whispers and she immediately shakes her head.

"Stop. I hate when you say that." She says between hiccups. "You're not fucked up."

"Yes I am. I'm violent, and angry, and I can't commit. You're too perfect for me. You deserve better."

"I don't want better. I want you. Shouldn't that be for me to decide Rafe?" She sobs, holding him closer.

"I know, princess but, I just can't ruin you. You're so sweet and perfect. I can't give you what you want."

"You don't know what I want." She attempts.

"I do. I know you. You want babies and a husband and love. I... I won't be a good father, or husband for that matter. Lord knows I don't have a good example. You deserve someone who doesn't snort five lines and try to kill someone every time something bad happens." He sighs.

"I don't care about any of that Rafe. I love you. I want you." She sobs, completely forgetting her plan of staying composed and away from him. He rubs up and down her back as she cries, letting their wordless presence hang in the air.

"I love you." He says softly and it shocks her so much that she actually gasps.

"Rafe..."

"I'm serious, princess. I love you. I'm so sorry. We can't be together. You have no clue how much I wish I could be the man you need. The man you deserve." He says, his words pulling more and more sobs out of her.

"You are what I need Rafe. Please. Don't do this to me." She cries, the break up hitting her all over again.

"You don't want me."

"Yes I do!" She raises her voice.

"Baby." He starts.

"No! It's not fair Rafe!" She yells again, pushing him away. "You don't get to make this decision on your own! If you don't love me, fine! But, if you do... you don't get to push me away because 'you're not good enough'. That's not fucking fair to me! Rafe I have been MISERABLE without you!" She lets out a sob. "It's only been three weeks and I feel like I'm dying." She whispers. "I can't do this for the rest of my life Rafe. Do you love me?" She questions. He looks down at her, tears in his own eyes, and places his hand on her cheek. His large hand consumes her entire face, his thumb rubbing away fat tears.

"Yes."

"Then be with me." She practically begs.

"It's not that simple." He says, placing his forehead against hers.

"Yes it is. You keep saying you're not the man I deserve but you are. You are sweet, to me at least," They both chuckle at her words. "and funny and protective. And sure, maybe you're a little angry but you want to be better. You're not sitting there like you don't have a problem. You are a better man because you want to be a better man. I love you, Rafe. Please." She begs and he sighs. She closes her eyes softly, slowly moving her mouth forward until her lips come into contact with his. He greedily kisses back, missing the way her lips feels on his.

"Baby." He mumbles against her mouth.

"What?" She whispers back. He takes her by the shoulders, pushing her back to arm's length so he can look her in the eyes when he says this.

"I wanna do this right this time. No bullshit hooking up for the first time in that stupid van at some stupid party. No waiting months to call you mine. No shit from your brother. No hiding you from my parents or friends. No dates on the mainland. I wanna take you out. Treat you right. Like how you deserve." She smiles, pulling his body in to hug her.

"Rafe." She whispers happily.

"Yah?" He asks against her shoulder.

"Please kiss me." He smiles into her shoulder, how could he say no to that?

[commonurmoml]

I Love You Isn't Enough

Rafe Cameron x pouge!female

Warnings: fluff, language, smoking, some spice (not a lot), fighting, commitment

Words: 1.5k

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If she's being honest, she doesn't even remember how it started. Her and Rafe, that is. Of course she remembers the first time they hooked up: they were both drunk out of their minds in the passenger seat of his truck at the boneyard. Apparently beach parties don't mix well with months worth of lustful glances. She remembers stumbling back to her friends, trying to pretend like the man they all despise didn't just make her see stars. She remembers every party after that, which no matter how hard they tried not to; they always seemed to end up together in some bathroom or car or whatever after enough drinks. She remembers the way she lied to her friends time and time again about it; but none of that was how it started. How they started.

What she doesn't remember is when they went from enemies dancing over that thin thin line between hate and passion to actually liking each other. She can't seem to pinpoint the moment when those random lustful glances turned to looks of longing. Maybe it's because it wasn't one exact moment. Maybe it was slow and gradual. She remembers when they started talking after sex. Maybe that was it. When random hookups ended with deep conversations. When she opened up about her dad. She remembers when they started hanging out with their clothes on. It could have been that. Maybe it was the first time she slept the night in his bed after a late night 'u up?' or that they ended up spending the next day together. Whatever it was that made them them, she's grateful for it in this moment: lying on his yacht under the stars with her head in his lap and recalling everything that has led them up to this moment.

"Rafe?" She questions, bringing the joint loosely hanging from her fingers up to her mouth and taking a drag.

"Hmm?" He hums out, his hand still tangled in her hair. She holds her breath for a moment, allowing the smoke to flow through her system before blowing it away.

"Do you ever wonder what would've happed if you never walked up to me at that party? Like if we never hooked up that night?"

"Eh, we probably would've hooked up at some other party." He replies and she rolls her eyes with a scoff.

"I'm being serious Rafe." She deadpans.

"I am too." He snatches the joint from her, holding it up to her perfect lips and inhaling. "You're hot. I was planning that for months." He jokes while still holding his breath.

"Rafe." She says, unimpressed.

"What?" He coughs out the smoke, rolling his eyes at her questions.

"I just... what if we never you know..." She trails off.

"Fucked?" He questions bluntly and she giggles a bit.

"No. I mean what if we just fucked and never..." She can't bring herself to finish her sentence. She has never told him she loves him and she's not gonna in some random high hypothetical.

"Fell in love?" He finishes for her, a smirk on his face. She gasps, shooting up from his lap and spinning to look at him.

"What did you just say?"

"You know exactly what I said."

"Fuck you Rafe Cameron! God you dick! Do you know how long I've been waiting to say that and you steal my thunder?" She screams, pushing him on the shoulder while he laughs at her mini temper tantrum.

"You still didn't say it back." He smirks, leaning back on his hands and looking at the blushing girl sat forward on her knees.

"Maybe I won't." She teases and his smirk falters.

"That's not funny." He says. Behind all the nonchalant teasing and cocky smirks sometimes she forgets how hard it is for him to be vulnerable.

"You're right, I'm sorry." She apologizes with a frown. "It wasn't as funny as it was supposed to be."

"You still didn't say it." He whispers, winking.

"I love you, Rafe Cameron." He can't hold back his smile at her words.

"I love you too." He places the joint on the ashtray sat next to the two and places his now free hand on her waist. "Now... let me show you just how much." He pulls her close and starts to kiss her neck.

"Fuck." She mutters, leaning her head back so he can continue to place sloppy kisses up her neck and jaw.

"That..." He pauses his attack to mutter. "Is a bad word." He teases, grabbing her closer and flipping them over so he's on top. She gasps at his movement.

"Shut up." She giggles and he leans in, his face inches from hers.

"Why don't you make me?" He challenges. She smirks, snaking her hands up around his neck and placing her lips in his. He rolls his hips against hers, deepening the kiss when she moans at the friction easily felt under her thin bikini bottoms. Their tongues dance, teeth clashing as they become more and more desperate for each other.

"God I fucking love you." He mutters against her mouth, rutting his hips against her roughly. She whines, the words turning her on more than she ever has been. But she still wants more. Sure him confessing his love for her is more than she has ever expected from him. I mean getting THE Rafe Cameron to commit to one girl, to love one girl, seemed impossible before it happened. Maybe she's selfish for wanting more, more than she ever thought he could give, but she does. She can't keep doing this.

"Fuck. Rafe, Rafe, Rafe." She mutters, pushing him off of her.

"What's wong." His eyebrows furrow.

"I..." She sighs and his face goes pale, his mind racing with every possibly. God, this is why he waited so long to say something. Now that he loves her, not that he's said it, she can hurt him in a way that nobody thought was possible. "Rafe... what are we?" She asks and he lets out a breath of relief that she's not ending it.

"We're in love." He smirks and she doesn't seem impressed.

"Rafe. I'm serious. You can't just keep saying we're friends with benefits. It's not fair. You love me, I love you. We've already agreed we're not fucking anyone else, what's your problem? Why can't you just say it?"

"What do you want me to say? You knew what you were getting into when this started. I don't do girlfriends." He defends.

"Really? You just only hook up with one girl that you take out to dinner and spend money on and tell that you LOVE HER!" He scoffs. "I mean seriously Rafe, why is it easier to you to say I love you than ask me to be yours?" She doesn't know why thins is the moment she decided to bring it up... again. I mean every time she asks him for any ounce of commitment it ends in a fight.

"Because! I don't do girlfriends."

"Jesus Rafe." She mutters rolling her eyes, tears collecting in them for some reason.

"Look, I love you. I don't care about some stupid label ... why is that not enough?" He questions and she shakes her head.

"Because it's not." She squeezes her eyes shut. "Because when you refuse to call me your girlfriend... it's like you want an easy out. Like any minute you could end it all and it wouldn't mean anything because it's not like we're dating or anything." As her tears fall, Rafe's face twists into that of sympathy and understanding.

"Trust me baby, I have no intention of leaving you." He puts a hand on her cheek, forcing her to look up at him.

"Then why? Why can't you just..."

"You're right." Rafe cuts her off with words she honestly cannot believe just came out of his mouth. After months of back and forth on this, she holds her breath hoping right now, in this moment, everything with magically be solved. "I am sorry. I guess I was... I've never been a good boyfriend. I rarely have girlfriends and when I do I'm a total dick to them. I couldn't do that to you. I was worried I wasn't good enough for you and putting a label on it would make you realize it." He mutters, wiping away her fat tears. She just sits in silence for a moment, staring up at him. "Can you please say something because I'm not used to being vulnerable like this and I'm really in my head about it." She giggles through tears.

"You are good enough for me. It's insane that you think you're not. I love you." She kisses him and he smiles into it. "Rafe Cameron, I get to ask this one because you totally stole my moment with the whole 'I love you' thing." She jokes and he laughs, letting his head hang. "Will you be my boyfriend?" He smiles.

"Yes." He leans in and kisses her. "ONLY if." He says, pushing her to lay flat. "We can finish what we started." He kisses her passionately through her giddy giggles.