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reblog for bi/ace solidarity

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📚📚❤📚

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I'm cracking tf up right now. Someone really posted "Idc how old or young you are if you follow me but if you’re older than 22 or younger than 14 and you ID as ace I’ll have issues with you no questions asked." I didn't know asexuality had an age limit 😂. Aphobes are wild

Lmfao they really are

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I just wanted to tell you that with all your faults I love you. I love or revere very few people. As for the rest, I’m ashamed of my indifference to them. But for those I love, nothing and no one, neither I nor certainly they themselves, can ever make me stop loving them. It took me a long time to learn that; now I know it.

- Albert Camus

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Thank god i have tumblr, at least i can talk to myself.

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2018 Reflections

I’ve been looking back and reflecting on years past recently— what people usually do at the closing of a year, and I’ve realized that 2018 had a lot of ups and downs, but it really has been one of the best years of my life.

I got to start the first 3 months of the year doing a show that I absolutely adored and got to meet people that have changed my life for the better. I graduated high school, I have gained independence and confidence.

When I look back two, three years ago- hell even last year- I was not living my life the way I wanted and I told myself that the way I wanted to be wasn’t the right way to be. But look at me now! I knit, I wear chains on my glasses, and yes most of the time I dress like an 80 year-old woman but that is the most authentic form of myself and accepting that I am truly old at heart has helped me to learn self-love and self-care.

I always wanted to fit in, to blend because when I was little I was the only tall redhead and standing out wasn’t a good thing, but now that I am finally happy with who I am, I am surrounding myself with people who love me for the way I truly am. I am in such a healthier place now and I let myself think in these past few weeks- especially the last few days- that I’m still not to the point where I’m happy yet— but I am! And it feels so damn good.

I am unapologetically myself and can finally say that 2018 WAS my year.

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Skeleton Story

I have a book, and it isn’t entirely finished but I am proud of the story that I have. The first half is fully fleshed out, but the second half is more of a skeleton, but I am needing feedback on which “organs” to include. I obviously can’t include every nerve and sinew of what I am imagining, but do I have the pancreas or the kidney? the stomach or the liver?

A few people I know have offered to read it, but no one has, and it’s been nearly a year. I really want my skeleton story to be read so I can navigate through a different person’s perspective.

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What not to write in fantasy.

I’ve seen some posts going around on what not to write in fantasy, many of which amount to:

Don’t write evil kings.

Don’t write people who are evil for the sake of evil.

Don’t write bullies.

Don’t write villains at all actually.

Don’t write mentors.

Don’t let your characters learn how to do hard things on their own though.

Don’t write people on adventures.

Don’t write people fighting evil governments.

Don’t write any fantasy species ever written before.

Don’t write any fantasy trope ever written before.

Don’t write any fantasy plot ever written before. 

Just… don’t fucking write fantasy I guess??

And this is such utter bullshit, my friends.

We do need more originality and diversity in fantasy, but we don’t need to remove everything that fantasy is and has been in the process.

(Especially, especially, when diversity is being included in traditionally cishet white male protagonist fantasy stories.)

Maybe the chosen one with special magic powers and a royal bloodline going on a quest with a group of friends to defeat the evil king has been done before with a white cis man a thousand times over, but how many times has a black trans woman got to go on that adventure? 

Maybe elves and orcs have been written into the dust, but they still make great templates on which to tell stories with original twists, and there’s nothing about them that stops a good, emotional story from hitting you straight in the heart.

Maybe dragons have been done by every writer ever to write fantasy, but you know what? Dragons are fucking awesome, my dudes. Many readers are always gonna love them.

Maybe we have told the same fantasy stories over and over again, but every step you take away from the known template is a step you have to spend more and more exposition on before the reader will understand your original creation.

So don’t let anyone make you feel like that your (inclusive) fantasy story is too ‘traditional’ to be good. As long as you produce a well written story you’ve put your heart into, it’ll be a story many readers will love. 

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Dear Fellow Writers,

Not everyone is going to like what you write. Some people are going to have problems with decisions you make about characters, development, plot, and so on…they’ll say, ‘oh you should have done this or that, blah blah’ - and guess what? That’s okay.

We’re all different. We make different decisions and we have different preferences. That doesn’t mean that you should stop writing. For the love of God, keep at it! You’re never gonna please everybody all the time. That’s just plain impossible. But if at the end of the day you can look at your book and actually feel happy about the decisions you made then that’s what really matters. 

Write a story that makes YOU happy. Think of all those endings that you liked best, the characters that you cherished the most and consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, someone else in this great big wide world is going to love them just as much as you do. I mean statistically, someone has to, right? A kindred soul (literary soul) that likes all the same cheesy tropes you do, and the sappy sugary sweet couples, or bad ass awesome rad characters with devils on their shoulders - they’re gonna love it. And they’re waiting for it. They’ve been waiting for your book for a long time. So you can do it. Stop worrying about what is wrong with your story and focus on what is right. You can do this. 

Go write your heart out. 

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Is it crazy...?

Is it crazy that I want to have meaningful relationships with people over social networks or text messaging? Even if I will not meet them in person and if words on a screen are all we ever got, but I want someone to exchange real words with, someone that I can truly talk to. I do not do well with in person communication and I want to be able to have a deeper connection with someone. Is that crazy?

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Height

I am eighteen years old. I am 5′9″ and apparently I am too tall for everything. I have been too tall for a lot since I was young, and it has had its advantages, don’t get me wrong, but the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in this case. I am intimidating and am “not allowed” to be introverted because I automatically stand out too much-- not to mention I am a redhead so even if I were average height I would still be a sore thumb.

And I’m not even that tall. 5′9″ should not be considered tall, but just slightly above average. I have struggled with my height for the majority of my life because I am immediately seen as intimidating, or I must be an athlete. But if I want to do theatre and music and acting, I have to do it with male counterparts taller than me, and that more that not means they will be significantly older than me.

I was just given a role in an original youth show based off of a show I absolutely adore and this is how they told me I was getting cast last Sunday:

Congratulations, Sierra! We would like to offer you the roles of (undesired role #1) and (undesired role #2) in (I’ll just leave the name of the show out)! We were so impressed with your voice (and acting/dancing) and would like to showcase your talents with many vocal solos and featured characters throughout the show. You could easily handle the role of (desired character), but it didn't work out with the pairing next to (male counterpart) (who is short-statured). So, we will really utilize your beautiful voice as (undesired role #1) and also (role #2). As (role #2), you will start the show as the star vocalist... until strange things start happening with ghost sighting. (Role #2) character is based off an actual ghost legend, so that part of the show will be very interesting to reenact as well.

Being the human that I am, I sobbed after reading this. You could easily handle the role... but it didn’t work out with the pairing. A role I have been dreaming of playing since as long as I can remember and I am too tall/he is too short. I was the only one at the call back that could sing the part of the character I so badly wanted. I sang my heart out, acted my socks off and worked so hard at that four hour audition/callback to be told I was too tall? It shouldn’t matter! Who cares if I’m a little taller than he is?? The fact that they told me that was the sole reason I wasn’t getting cast in that role was crushing. But I sucked it up, and I told myself “this is theatre, this is the way it is, accept the role you’ve been given and give it everything you’ve got”.

That lasted about a week.

Our first rehearsal was tonight and it was horrendous. I had befriended some of the girls there who were about 16, 14, 14, 13, and 12. I have become used to working with younger young-adults in theatre and had no problem bonding with them at the callback, and I enjoyed myself. At the callbacks, they told me they could hear me singing through the wall and that they were certain I would get the role I wanted. I showed up to the rehearsal and five separate times I was told: “You got cast as (desired role), didn’t you.” To which I held back tears when I replied no. They asked why and I told them that is the way it goes. I wasn’t going to put a bad name to my director to my fellow cast-members, that would solve nothing. It wouldn’t get me the role, it would make me the type of person I do not want to be.

Other people started arriving then and the majority of the kids there were under eight years old. My heart sank, my stomach lurched, and I almost walked right back out to my car and left.

I had never heard of this theatre company, they had never heard of me, I lived an hour away but I figured this is a show of a lifetime and I would love to at least be a part of it in some way.

Once the rehearsal started I noticed something was off. The script was tweaked to fit the humor of a five-year old, the script looked like it was printed off of Microsoft Word Processor by a high school drama student writing a ten-minute play for class. Not every part was cast, and parts were fitted to the people playing them. They did not have a solid script, nor a selected ending, the “music director” (if you can call her that) told me that for the part of my second role, they were not sure of what song they wanted and that I could choose what I wanted to sing. The song for the first character I was cast in, which I also inadvertently chose, could be cut however I wanted.

I immediately felt like they were not as invested in this show as I had planned to be and I decided that I could not do this show, that it was simply unreasonable for this to go on.

This is the email I sent them when I got home from rehearsals an hour later:

Hello,

I need to inform you that I will be unable to do the show. The circumstances surrounding this decision were very difficult for me to come to terms with, but there are some things that I feel are insurmountable.

First of all, being the eldest by wide strokes in this show is an obstacle that I was not prepared for. Since the audition was offered for up to 18 years old, I was expecting to find more people my age, or near my age, to be in the show, and when I was cast I believed that was the case. At the rehearsal tonight, there were more children under the age of twelve than above and I cannot see myself working in a show with a cast of small children being eighteen years old, and being the only eighteen-year-old.

Secondly, from your email to me about initial casting, I was led to believe that though height seemed to be the only issue in being cast in the leading role, that I would still have an opportunity to perform in terms of singing and acting. From today's rehearsal, I found had one short line in each of the acts and though I had singing solos, I felt that for my age and my ability I was being underused. And I understand that this is a production for younger children and I am not saying that anything should be taken away from them to be given to me, or that I deserve a bigger part. Contrarily, I am saying that it seems wiser to me to offer the part to a child better suited in terms of the cast as a whole.

I mean no disrespect to your value as a director or your ability in terms of casting, I just feel that I was not given an accurate depiction of what the show experience would be, and I feel that the time commitment I am putting away from my work at both of my jobs in not only attending rehearsals but driving an hour to get there is not worth while for either side.

I want your show to be everything that you have planned for it to be, and from the casting and the experience I had at rehearsals tonight, I sincerely believe that it is best that I withdraw from the role and let it be offered to another member of the cast.

I am sorry if I have wasted your time or seem ungrateful for the experience you have offered, it was wonderful to have auditioned and experienced working with you even to the degree that I did, but I do truly believe this is best for everyone.

If I could have my deposit of $150 mailed to me at (my home address), that would be greatly appreciated so I will not have to use too much more of either of our time.

Thank you for the opportunity and the honor of casting me in your show, and I know you will put on a wonderful show.

AND I PAYED MONEY FOR THIS! LIKE HELL NO I’M DONE

If they even try to tell me that anything I said in my email is false or not fair I am going to lose my mind and flip out on them. I was much nicer on this email than I should have been and if they tell me any different I will unleash all of my tears and rage.

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Alternatives for 25 overused words in writing

1. Interesting- note worthy; thought-provoking; fascinating; attracting; appealing; attention-grabbing; captivating; gripping; invigorating; engrossing; engaging; electrifying.  

2. Beautiful- striking; stunning; magnificent; lovely; charming; gorgeous; radiant; dazzling.

3. Good- acceptable, wonderful, exceptional; positive; brilliant; first-rate; notable; stellar; favorable; superb; marvellous; prime.

4. Bad- awful; lousy; poor; unacceptable; crummy; dreadful; rough; inferior; substandard; atrocious; appalling; dreadful; defective.

5. Look- glance; fixate; observe; stare; gaze; peer; scan; watch; study; browse; eye; glimpse; review; inspect.

6. Nice- lovely; superior; pleasant; satisfying; delightful; likeable; agreeable; correct; adequate; swell; fair; okay; approved.

7. Very- extremely; exceedingly; exceptionally; immensely; tremendously; abundantly; particularly; remarkably.

8. Fine- satisfactory; worthy; respectable; exquisite; suitable; well; imposing; decent; admirable; praise-worthy; decent.

9. Happy- cheerful; delighted; pleased; content; amused; thrilled; elated; thrilled; ecstatic; on cloud 9. 

10. Really- genuinely; truly; honestly; actually; undoubtedly; certainly; remarkably; incredibly; downright; unquestionably; extremely.

11. Sad- miserable; gloomy; devastated; down at heard; distraught; distressed; dispirited; sorrowful; downcast; feeling blue; desolate.

12. Big- massive; huge; giant; gigantic; enormous; large; colossal; immense; bulky; tremendous; hefty; sizable; extensive; great; substantial. 

13. Shocked- taken aback; lost for words; flabbergasted; staggered; outraged; astonished; astounded; stunned; speechless; appalled.

14. Small- tiny; petite; mini; miniature; microscopic; minuscule; compact; pocket-sized; cramped; puny; undersized; limited; meager; modest; minute; pint-sized. 

15. Angry- irate; enraged; touchy; cross; resentful; indignant; infuriated; wound-up; worked-up; seething; raging; heated; bitter; bad-tempered; offended; frustrated. 

16. Know- understand; comprehend; realize; learn; perceive; recognize; grasp; sense.

17. Change- alter; transform; replace; diversify; adjust; adapt; modify; remodel; vary; evolve; transfigure; redesign; refashion; advance; transition; shift; adjustment.

18. Old- aged; ancient; matured; elderly; senior; veteran; decrepit; seasoned; venerable; past one’s prime; doddering; senile.

19. Think- ponder; reflect; conceive; imagine; contemplate; consider; determine; realize; visualize; guess/assume; conclude; envision. 

20. Funny- comical; ludicrous; amusing; droll; entertaining; absurd; hilarious; silly; whimsical; hysterical; joking; witty; facetious; slapstick; side-splitting; knee-slapping.

21. Go- move; proceed; advance; progress; travel; walk; journey; depart; exit; flee; make one’s way; clear out; get underway.

22. Give- grant; donate; hand-out; present; provide; deliver; hand over; offer; award; bestow; supply with; contribute to; send; entrust.

23. Get- acquire; obtain; receive; gain; earn; gather; collect; buy; purchase; attain; score; secure; take possession of; grab.

24. Easy- effortless; simple; clear; smooth; straightforward; uncomplicated; painless; accessible; apparent; basic; plain; child’s play; facile; elementary; cinch. 

25. Fast- agile; brisk; rapid; nimble; swift; accelerated; fleeting; high-speed; active; dashing; winged; hurried; turbo. 

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Is there certain aspects/characteristics on a person that you deem to be intimidating?

“Intimidating” translates as “dangerous in the best way” for me so I guess: an innate air of individuality and authenticity and intensity. The unattainable that ought to remain unattainable. What feels mysterious, transparent, crystal clear yet multi-faceted. People who own themselves and belong all too deeply to themselves. People who arouse radical and absolute sensations in me. People who make me let my own guard down because they seem to effortlessly just have a sort of inexplicably complete access to my heart.

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if you like you can follow me on instagram too

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Aaron Warner, Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

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I don’t sit in my dark space to hide from the world. I sit here to hide from my shadow. A day will come for us to re-unite in the light again. But until a time when I am ready to walk with my shadow again, the world, I hope will have the patience to wait for us.

F.S @writewhatyousee

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