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conformalcucumber · 2 years ago

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I was trying to figure out why this scene had so much power to it and I realized this is the moment Ray figures out Sand’s feelings for him. It is so beautifully written and executed… I have so many thoughts on this:

Firstly, Sand is the one to bring up the elephant in the room that is RayMew. This is not surprising, given Ray’s lack of accountability and avoidance of serious matters.

What IS surprising is Ray’s immediate reaction to this - he completely discredits the seriousness and validity of RayMew’s relationship to Sand:

“… we need to see if it’s gonna work.”

He’s (consciously or unconsciously) trying to reassure Sand that he’s not entirely unavailable - that him and Mew are just “trying things out”. That there’s still room for Sand and this thing between them.

He follows that discredit with a comment that can be read as direct criticism and comparison of Sand’s own “just friends” boundaries during their time together:

“At least he let me cross that friend zone line.”

At least HE did, at least HE let me try.

Sand returns this thinly veiled snide comment with a double entendre of his own:

“Good. You can finally end the secret crush.” To which I don’t think Ray picks up on Sand’s true meaning until Sand finishes with “Such a waste of time, right?”

THERE. RIGHT THEN. THAT MOMENT is when Sand’s true feelings finally become clear for Ray.

Because why would Ray’s secret crush be a waste of time if it worked out and he is now with Mew???

Sand is talking about himself… and Ray knows it.

You can literally see the lightbulb moment clear on Ray’s face. Sand likes him, Sand has a crush on him, Sand doesn’t want them to be only friends, and possibly never did.

But Ray didn’t know that before, how could he? And how unfair that he finds out now, finds out RIGHT as Sand is telling him that he’ll end his secret crush on Ray, and that he’ll let Ray go now that Ray has Mew?

All of the times Sand said he would never take Ray as his boyfriend or lover - insisted that they stay friends and nothing more. Possibly even hurting Ray with these words during the brief time when Ray was properly trying to move on from Mew.

And now that the man Ray has loved for years is giving him a chance - now that it’s seemingly too late, Ray is figuring out that he was wrong - that Sand did want him, like him, love him.

You can see the wheels turning in his head - trying to figure out his next move - and in that moment, he can see himself in Sand. Because at the end of the day, Ray understands loneliness and rejection better than anyone.

And so finally, he decides to next ask Sand the question he wishes someone would ask him:

“Are you okay?”

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conformalcucumber · 2 years ago

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