confused-demi-noises

[confused-demi-noises]

Pride? #3 Demisexuality, demiromantism and the LGBTQ+ community.

Demisexuals and demiromantics all probably know first hand how we have a confusing relationship with the lgbtq+ community. Most of this confusion comes from not knowing if we should be considered lgbtq+ or not.

While most accept asexuals as being part of the lgbtq+ community (at this point, I do recognize that some people still exclude them) many identities that fall in the acespec are either left out or undecided. (rip to the romantic orientations) This often leads to many problems for those who identify in those ways.

Before I continue I want to say that I don't mean to offend anyone in the lgbtq+ community. After all, I owe the ability and knowledge to declare my identity to their work as a community.

The reason this is such a difficult topic (for me at least) is because I acknowledge the hardships the lgbtq community have face throughout history. I can understand why many in the community don't agree with including certain identities (I don't necessarily agree, but I can see it from their perspective). I also can see the hardships many people in the community face today. Just know that if you don't accept my identity as a demisexual and demiromantic then I am 100% an ally.

That being said, not being accepted in the community is damaging to many demisexuals and demiromantics alike (not to mention all the aromantics, asexuals, bisexuals and pansexuals out there). I know personally that seeing posts saying "demisexuals don't exist" kept me from identifying for over a year. That may not seem like much time but it definitely feels a lot longer than a year when you feel like an alien and constantly think that there's something wrong with you. (I know this isn't new to people in the lgbtq community, many of them face it daily.)

Seeing such sentiments online also made me nervous around my friends in the lgbtq community. Although they are most accepting people I know, I feared that they'd rehect my identity. I'm working through it but I'm still nervous even making a post like this.

Honestly, I don't think it should be this way but I'm also not sure if I have a say.

Personally, I'm not entirely sure if I identify as lgbtq+. I mean I identify as demisexual and demiromantic, but I guess I don't care either way about being lgbtq+. I really don't want people thinking that I want to encroach or hurt the community. Idk it's confusing... I don't know if it's really me even thinking that way or all the things I've seen and heard.

All I wanted to say is that demisexuals and demiromantics that want to identify as lgbtq+ should be allowed to and that posting hate against them is very damaging. I also think this topic should be brought up more.

Thank you, have a nice day :)

[confused-demi-noises]

Pride #2 "Can demisexual/demiromantic people be "straight"?"

Yes and no, it depends on what you define as "straight".

"Straight" is a confusing term because it is used interchangeably with heterosexual and heteromantic when that isn't correct all the time.

Personally, I define straight as a heterosexual, heteromantic and allosexual person who identifies in the gender binary. So by that definition, no demisexuals and demiromantics cannot be straight.

If you are asking if they can be heterosexual/ heteromantic, then yes. You are witnessing one right now! O.O how scary!

once again, this is one of those things that depends on your own perspective and your own definition.

im going to touch on my heterosexual-ness another time so stay tuned ig?...

thanks for reading this!

[confused-demi-noises]

Pride #1: "How do you know you are ____?"

This is probably one of the most common questions not only asked to me personally but to a majority of those who identify as demisexual and/or demiromantic. Someone who identifies as demisexual it means they do not develop sexual feelings for people unless they are close with the person. A demiromantic is a person who does not develop romantic feelings unless they are close to the other person. People can identify as one or both but...

Demisexuality and demiromantism are not the same thing, I am using them together here because I identify as both.

Personally, i would say i don't know for sure. I personally have never been in a romantic or sexual relationship and have never had as much as a crush on anyone. The fact that ive never had a crush (celebrity or otherwise) was enough for me to believe I wasn't allosexual or alloromantic and was on the acespec. Although ive never had romantic or sexual feelings towards anyone I do enjoy the idea of meeting someone one day and sometimes long for it. That's why demisexual and demiromantism feels right for me right now.

As for demisexuals/romantics as a whole, there is no definite answer. Demisexuality and demiromantism is different for everyone and can even be affected by other aspects of one's identity.

If you are questioning here are some things to consider:

have you ever had feelings for someone? if so, what did it look like? we're you friends first?

if not, do you want those feelings or feel like you could develop them?

how do you feel when asked about your relationships or lack thereof? are you uncomfortable?

how do you feel about celebrity or fictional character crushes? did you ever have one?

did you feel alienated when conversations when conversations turn to relationships? why?

This list isn't everything so take it lightly. Most of these points are what helped me figure out my identity so they may or may not help you. After all, how you chose to identify should make you comfortable first and foremost.

Thanks for reading!

[confused-demi-noises]

for Pride Month im going to attempt to post something regarding demisexuality/demiromantism daily. idk I just feel like it and I think that there's a bunch of misinformation and confusion about how people like me identify and I would like to clear it up :)

that being said, if you have a question or topic idea leave it down below or message me and I may talk about it this month :)

Happy Pride!

[confused-demi-noises]

Happy Pride!

Btw thx for the rep @ google

(I mean rip demiromantic but it's progress. still cute, idk)

((look up pride month on google and you get confetti!))

[confused-demi-noises]

IM GONNA DO IT, I'm going to make a asexual and aromantic sim!

Will they live in a mansion filled with friends? maybe

Will they live alone? maybe

Will they adopt pets? Most likely

Will they adopt kids? Who knows?

All I know is that im excited at the idea of doing something I haven't done before. I haven't played a sim that's never ended up in a romantic/sexual relationship. Honestly idk why but that's how im gonna spend my afternoon so...

Go do something you enjoy! <3

[confused-demi-noises]

it's kinda crazy (in a cool way) how simply exploring your identity can make you more confident and comfortable.

yesterday i was able to talk about my feelings toward romantic relationships and how the ace spectrum works in general with ease. before i would feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed when confronted with certain questions. all around it makes the conversation more enjoyable. a year ago if I was asked the same questions i'd deflect, get flustered or not know the answers which tended to lead to more uncomfortable situations. but yesterday i could feel the difference and it was nice!

tbh idk what made me want to share this, but here you go.

go treat yourself, you deserve it <3

[confused-demi-noises]

like, im pretty certain that i am in fact demisexual and demiromantic but then i see posts online saying we don't exist and i question everything all over again. ik it shouldn't matter what some random person online says but it still makes me question if my thoughts and feelings are natural and it sucks. it is the exact reason why i didnt explore myself for such a long time and still get uncomfortable talking about my identity.

but here, i am proof that a cis heterosexual demisexual and demiromantic person can exist. so to all the questioning possible demis out there; you are not alone, your perceptions arent alien and you are valid!

drink some water y'all <3