conkreetmonkey - Tumblr blog

[conkreetmonkey]

[conkreetmonkey]

imagine two mated wyrms twisting around each other, possessing an uncountable number of limbs, each claw of good or evil interlocked with its opposite, the coil twists further around itself into a skein of flesh. how i would describe DNA to a wizard

[conkreetmonkey]

Code for "This game is extremely derivative and will be released unfinished for way too much money, but its cutesy branding will make you feel bad about criticizing these things."

Sorry, your game looks cool, but the promotional material used the words "wholesome" and "cozy" so I gotta stick by my principals.

[conkreetmonkey]

me and the girls on our way to destroy Inkopolis life as we know it

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A fawn curled up beside a fake deer which is used for target practice. 

[conkreetmonkey]

OK SO I've decided I'm on a quest to find out if any more of these exist because I have never wanted an article of clothing so badly before in all my life, barring bad dreams where I'm naked in public. I will document my search here.

Searching "walmart dinosaur vest" and variations doesn't bring up anything, so the Walmart aspect seems to be a dead end, but there is the brand on the tag, "Backroad Blues." I'm unable to find much information on this brand, it lacks a website and is only ever mentioned on second-hand sites, so I'm assuming it went defunct before all brands had to have a website. Searching "backroad blues dinosaur vest" immediately brought up this extremely similar yet distinct vest:

It seems this entire brand was built on kitschy middle-aged eccentric scientist garb. Everything I've been able to find is either a fancifully patterned vest, dusty denims, or a longsleeve befitting a milky-eyed geriatric fortune teller with a 4-foot iguana draped over her shoulders. It's glorious. Cool Old Dude: The Brand. It's like if Splatoon was aimed at Baby Boomers.

One thing to note is that not only is information on this brand scarce, but so are duplicate instances of its products. I've only seen one item twice (the coffee vest). Unsure if that implies these things are rare or just not very sought after (but you would think the paleontologists, gays and grandpas would be on this stuff like ants on ice cream).

dinosaur vest originally from walmart?

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reblog for sample size !!

[conkreetmonkey]

postal 2 response times

[conkreetmonkey]

hi there! i was wonderin' ya could translate a bit of cuttlefishs page in the s3 artbook- more specifically the text next to his doodles (and ESPECIALLY the one next to his younger self doodle...)

idk if uh, this is enough of a reasonable or interesting request but im a really. REALLY. big fan of him, and i like to read anything, and everything about him! but ya know, we might not get the english release for another year (or looking at haikara walker, ever...) soooo i was wonderin if ya have the book and could do it!

my japanese is terrible and by terrible i mean that i can recognize the non-kanji writing but cant really translate it by myself (and we all know how google translate is...) so i have no idea why i got the book- anyway!

thanks in advance if ya do it!! :3

Notes on Cuttlefish, bottom of page 90. the "only a bit old" (ちょいおじ choi oji ) part is not very precise with his age, it seems its supposed to be him around the time of the great turf war. (oji=uncle or just an older man in a broad sense. you can be as young as 30 to be called this, and since he's just a 'little bit' oji, and how he couldn't have been THAT old during the war, i would guess this is him around the age of 30) "divide by polys" was the only thing i wasnt too sure on but i assumed it was advice for whoever was modeling his squid form.

[conkreetmonkey]

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

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when the curse is lifted

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THE VERDICT.....

(link to original poll here <- there it is!)

[conkreetmonkey]

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

[conkreetmonkey]

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.