connie-banana

[connie-banana]

Reread Equal Rites recently. I used to think it was about feminism and little girls getting the same opportunities as little boys. Which, it isn't not about that. But ALSO.

It's about an intersex kid.

It's about a little girl born with a staff.

And that's Not Right.

The adults in the room- her father, the 'medical professional'- attempt to remove the staff, by blade and by fire. The fresh little baby SCREAMS. So they agree to pretend it doesn't exist. She'll probably grow up just a regular little girl.

right?

But just around the onset of puberty..... it becomes apparent, not to her, but to the adults, that she's not going to be Regular.

The medical professional tries again to rectify matters. She tries to destroy the staff while the girl is unconscious. The girl screams. The adults give in. They aren't monsters.... but life will be so much harder, so much less foreseen, for this strange little girl....

They try to raise her 'right'.

If she won't be a conventional woman... maybe an unconventional woman. A Powerful woman- in the way that women can be powerful. Are permitted to be powerful.

But she's not a woman- she's a child. What will she be, when she's grown? A Witch. A Wizard. She can't be either. She can't be neither.

(The term 'warlock' is repeatedly invoked and scoffed. The etymology of 'warlock' is 'breaker of oaths'. Counter to the covenant. Rulebreaker.)

Right.

[connie-banana]

Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

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30+ year old women are the backbone of this website

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british fantasy name: wicklebort smee

american fantasy name: aethiraimia “mia” windfeeler

chinese fantasy name: zhang youming (minimum two pages of in-text etymology about why they’re called this)

[connie-banana]

Im rooting for all knights/bodyguards who are in love with their charge/the one they are sworn to protect

[connie-banana]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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Link to thread

Link to news story

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It would be so so funny if he noped out before that stupid fucking parade.

The next time I see Donald Trump trending on this god forsaken website, it better fucking look like this.

[connie-banana]

I mean, this is very much the stance of film too.

Jurassic Park (1993) 🎬 Steven Spielberg

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Anyhow I’ve only ever seen a man dress up as a woman to commit a crime 1 time and he got caught immediately because the first thing he did post-robbery was change clothes in his car, because he wasn’t actually a trans woman in real life, which is how disguises typically work

[connie-banana]

imagine dealing w an international crisis involving precious artifacts and someone is like ‘don’t worry I know a guy’ and it’s a dorky connecticut college professor named henry who slips into his slutsona and suddenly he’s capable of saving the world w the power of his whip & fedora

[connie-banana]

Princess finds a bedraggled knight wandering just outside the castle walls with no heraldry and a wilted plume (a common sign of emotional neglect in knights) and begs the queen to let her keep him. The queen warns about the dangers of adopting wild knight errants but the princess promises to take good care of him and make sure to keep him away from their domesticated knights until he’s properly adjusted. Queen finally relents once she sees his rusted kit, broken sword, and the saddest brown eyes known to man. Princess claps her hands excitedly and drags him off to the apothecary to make sure he doesn’t have worms.

[connie-banana]

My favorite Soviet era joke: Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep. The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.

He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'

The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'

The other men thought this was hilarious...until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea. They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.

'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'

The man was horrified 'why did they spare me?!?'

"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."

[connie-banana]

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

[connie-banana]

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Astronaut tweets