coppacabana - Tumblr blog

[coppacabana]

Sometimes when I have my midnight musings and don't want to get up to write things down I tell myself I'll remember them in the morning. And then morning comes and I've forgotten all of the thoughts I had but remember the feeling and then am crushed by an overwhelming grief that I have lost whatever it was that made me feel so deeply.

[coppacabana]

It took a lot of time alone for me to realize that who I am is not strong enough to support who I want to be. I cannot keep trying to build without fixing the parts of my foundation that are broken.

[coppacabana]

Who I want to be and who I am now are not the same person. I always thought that to get there I just had to be MORE. That I had to keep going and keep adding and eventually that's all anyone would see. That's all I would be. But that's just caking makeup over acne. It's hiding.

If you want to be art of your own making, you must first clean the canvas

[coppacabana]

The reality of my adulthood is realizing that some of the things I was made to feel like a freak for are actually some of my greatest strengths. And some of the things I was praised for when I was young, that made me very good at school, actually feed some of the worst parts of my personality.

[coppacabana]

I hate it here

[coppacabana]

After years of GET SAM A DOG

Dean gets the dog lol

[coppacabana]

《... avant d'aller dormir, laisse une fenêtre ouverte que je courtise tes rêves...》

◇

《... before going to sleep, leave a window open for me to woo your dreams...》

ƒred Jules βlacksmith

- from ƒJβ's diary / The Chamber Of The Senses ©️®️

Photo source : veryhottub-blog

[coppacabana]

[coppacabana]

if they end up having to physically drag trump out of the white house, I want that shit livestreamed. 

[coppacabana]

When the fire died out so did I, but it was always hungry and I had nothing left to give.

© wolveswatching

[coppacabana]

You keep holding your breath waiting for something great to happen

But darling, don't forget to breathe

© wolveswatching

[coppacabana]

You left a bad taste in my mouth. I'll chase it down with tequila

©wolveswatching

[coppacabana]

Tattoos

My tattoos are not just art.

Every single one is a snapshot - a polaroid - of pieces of me. The represent versions of me that don't exist anymore. Stories that dictated who I am and the parts of myself I have yet to grow into.

They remind me of where I've been and that I'll never be there again. They keep me grounded in who I am as they create space to fill with who I want to be.

They are my best and worst memories. They are my strengths and passions as well as my fears and insecurities. They are love and hurt. Hope and regret. My raison d'être memorialized across my body.

I have etched into my veins the parts of me that I want to live forever.

[coppacabana]

There's a certain honesty in the middle of the night. A version of reality that doesn't exist in the daylight. A version you can only see once your eyes have adjusted to the shadows. The truths that exist in the flickers of the shadows between buildings or under cars; the truths that have nowhere to hide in the dark.

I think that's why the moon is so romanticized. Why it holds the hearts of lovers and poets and musicians.

The sun beats down upon you and exposes you to the world. And we need that. The sun makes us better. It makes us work for the world we live in. The world that lives by the grace of its light.

But the moon. The moon exposes you to yourself. The moon asks nothing of you. It doesn't demand you work or dress or participate in polite society. The moon accepts who you are without asking what you DO.

The sun pushes you to be better.. but the moon knows that it's hard.

Because the moon, too, hides from the sun.

[coppacabana]

Old Soul

They said I was an old soul.

I never believed them.

I'm young.

But they don't mean old; the age of a person.

They mean old; the age of the universe.

I think I'm in search of a world where things meant more

Because there was less.

But that world hasn't existed in a very long time.

I'm not old. I just yearn for that which is.

In this temporary world,

I just want something

That feels...

Eternal.