corderoknows - Tumblr blog

[corderoknows]

Change your vision and growth will follow. Closure isn’t a necessity but clarity is. Once you stop wanting revenge is when you’ll be able to move on, be at peace and grow. How can you be at peace, how can you be happy, how can you experience mental, emotional, spiritual and physical growth if you are out seeking revenge on the people that crossed you or did you dirty on some level. At some point you have to let go of what was in order to embrace what is. Don’t get so caught in what has happened or is happening to you and start loving yourself out of those situations so that you can be at peace with yourself and grow. That pain has you stuck, that bitterness has you jaded and that envy has you at odds with people that has mentally, physically and emotionally moved on without regardless of your wellbeing. Heal yourself by letting go of the past and moving on without any regrets. Don't lose hope, quit, blame yourself, have regrets or give up on love because someone took your love for granted, someone failed you, someone wasted your time or someone wasn't ready to give your their all like you was. Timing is everything, Rome wasn’t built over night and your healing process isn’t going to be a overnight process, time heals all wounds. You might be broken, hurt or in pain but that feeling doesn't last forever. Sometimes you got to watch the love turn into hate, friends turn into enemies, family turn into strangers, loyalty turn into betrayal, shred some tears, endure some pain, embrace some hurt, witness jealousy first hand, feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, feel broken, beaten, lost, alone and hear your cries fall on deaf ears in order to find yourself and rise up. It's lonely when you are stressing, down, broke, hurt, embracing pain, dealing with heartache, overcoming obstacles, determining what's real and what's fake but as long as you keep faith, hope, god and just know your time is coming but patience is everything. Timing plays a key part in everything that's happening to you, even through the tough times, have the patience to wait it out it and know that your time is coming sooner or later… #thisisknowledge (at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/ClcDYmMvpbS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[corderoknows]

Rest In Peace Momma Dukes!!! July 25, 2021 you found peace, i haven’t accepted that because i haven’t been at peace since. Dear Momma, Hello Momma, still not ready to say Goodbye Momma. You was the love of my life, now I feel lifeless without your love. Heart full of strife. I owed you my life and forever I’m indebted to you for life. Some days I wish I could repay you by giving you my life to give you life again. But I seen what losing a son does and I know you couldn’t burden that burden twice. I am your son but you was my Sun. You lit my skies when they were dark, you warmed my world when it was cold. I been in storms but weathering the storms of Mother Earth without a mother can be catastrophic to a son. The forecast predicts that it gets better over time. But through the mist of it all things have been foggy with heavy chances of tears. Heaven could have waited, god should have postponed your homecoming date. Since July 25th, I been screaming Rest In Peace Michelle Ward for a year straight. And for 365 days straight, I’ve been trying to find the coordinates to them heavenly gates. I haven’t found comfort in this. So in my dreams, I’m making reservations for a table for 2, at heaven’s diner for one last Mother and Son dinner date, so you can help me be at peace. Things we did, we can only do in my dreams now, so how could I accept you being gone as my reality when I can only dream of you now. This pain cut me deep, this can’t be what god intended, it don’t feel divine. God only gives his hardest, shut up, I’m tired of being his strongest solider. Maybe I’m acting out of emotion and coping with this grief has made vulnerable. These burdens have weakened my shoulders. Random moments I find myself searching for you in the clouds only to find myself with cloudy eyes. Forever your son and forever my eternal sun. Sunrise and Sunset, you still here in my eyes. I’m trying to be strong, barley holding on but, until I see you again Rest In Peace. Thank you for not allowing me to be a motherless son, you are greatly missed, i haven’t been the same since you left me a year ago!!! 🕊❤️🤞🏾🐐 #RestInPeace #thisisknowledge (at 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgcAjXHui75/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[corderoknows]

Rest In Peace Momma Dukes!!! Dear Momma, Hello Momma, still not ready to say Goodbye Momma. You was the love of my life, now I feel lifeless without your love. Heart full of strife. I owed you my life and forever I’m indebted to you for life. Some days I wish I could repay you by giving you my life to give you life again. But I seen what losing a son does and I know you couldn’t burden that burden twice. I am your son but you was my Sun. You lit my skies when they were dark, you warmed my world when it was cold. I been in storms but weathering the storms of Mother Earth without a mother can be catastrophic to a son. The forecast predicts that it gets better over time. But through the mist of it all things have been foggy with heavy chances of tears. Heaven could have waited, god should have postponed your homecoming date. Since July 25th, I been screaming Rest In Peace Michelle Ward for a year straight. And for 365 days straight, I’ve been trying to find the coordinates to them heavenly gates. I haven’t found comfort in this. So in my dreams, I’m making reservations for a table for 2, at heaven’s diner for one last Mother and Son dinner date, so you can help me be at peace. Things we did, we can only do in my dreams now, so how could I accept you being gone as my reality when I can only dream of you now. This pain cut me deep, this can’t be what god intended, it don’t feel divine. God only gives his hardest, shut up, I’m tired of being his strongest solider. Maybe I’m acting out of emotion and coping with this grief has made vulnerable. These burdens have weakened my shoulders. Random moments I find myself searching for you in the clouds only to find myself with cloudy eyes. Forever your son and forever my eternal sun. Sunrise and Sunset, you still here in my eyes. I’m trying to be strong, barley holding on but, until I see you again Rest In Peace. Thank you for not allowing me to be a motherless son, you are greatly missed, i haven’t been the same since you left me!!! 🕊❤️🤞🏾🐐 #RestInPeace #thisisknowledge (at 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷.) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgb-LVBOnMN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[corderoknows]

#EidMubarak 👳🏾‍♂️🤲🏾❤️🤲🏾 !!! Everything isn’t always black and white and because of that you have to learn to venture into the grey matter to learn things about yourself. Ramadan This year main battle was overcoming my own emotional obstacles. Learning how to grieve was and will always be something we all struggle with because most of the time we refuse to accept the reality that what we are grieving over is our new reality. Learning to accept things for what they are and what they aren’t without feeling like you are losing those memories in the process. It hurts but letting go is apart of that process I just haven’t processed because everything is so personal to me. Ramadan also taught me something different this year, to be at peace with being still and accepting that I wasn’t as patient as I once thought I was, i wasn’t emotionally stable as i thought i was, i wasn’t mentally strong as i needed to be, i wasn’t spiritually connected as i would have liked to be ready but physically i was stronger than i have ever been but the synergy wasn’t right. I was fighting a lose, lose battle with myself, not holding myself accountable for everything that was right and wrong in my life and the lives I was apart of really crushed me at times but learning I did the best that I could at the time was all the validation I needed to get back on my feet and push forward. If I ever offended you for being me, I’m not sorry, but if I did anything to hurt you in anyway I’m sorry, that was never my true intentions, life is about growth and this year of Ramadan has help me see that it was me that was stunting my own growth and I was the one blocking my own path. I have everything I want in life because I am Muslim and that’s something nobody will ever be able to take from me Alhamdulillah!!! Love on your people in real time because life isn’t about tomorrow it’s about now. Give the ones you love their flowers 💐🌺🌸 while they can smell them. I have everything because I’m #Muslim , play the hand you were dealt and whatever you do never fold… #ThisIsKnowledge #peaceminusone (at Eid Mubarak for My All Friends and Familys and Relatives) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdD8bCdOevM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[corderoknows]

Most of us are searching for things that are right in front of us but for some reason we always want to run back to what is familiar to us because change is just too hard to stomach or embrace due to fear. Sometimes you don’t get to heal, you just have to cope and keep it moving. Healing hurts. Give yourself time to heal because you deserve that. Pain will always feel like home when it's familiar. Everyone doesn't deal with or handle pain the same but don't let the pain you've had to endure or currently going through now ruin you and turn you into someone you aren't. Stop lashing out at the wrong people because you are hurting, stop trying to make others feel your pain because someone made you feel theirs, stop looking to hurt others because that's your only way to show you care for someone and stop making others feel sorry for the pain you are going through because you don't know how to handle it without hurting the ones that get close to you. DONT BECOME WHO HURT YOU. We all are hurting some just show it and deal with it differently but don't let your pain have you alone, bitter and miserable because you can't be at peace with your past or present and let go what's not making you happy. Sometimes that pain changes people for the better and they learn to grow, forgive and move on from that pain and sometimes that pain changes people for the worst and they either become the person that hurt them or they use it as a defense mechanism or an excuse to never move on or try something new because believe everyone is out to get them. You can hold on to that pain and allow it to change you for the worst or you can marry and embrace pain and allow it to your fuel the choice is yours, just don’t let it break you… #ThisIsKnowledge #undseverything #unDS #whatsonyourfeet #wearyourkicks (at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXpHbusPeH2/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

This goes out to those who should've got further, locked up or got murdered, I gotta do it since. I know Streets got love for me, hope it don't change, but I know they take shots at with a scope at close range. This that real shit that you bootleggers could never, this that cold summer, this ain't no regular weather, We made positives out of a negative era foreal. Boys I'm running with, we used to play Sega together foreal.… #thisisknowledge (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWyyX2jPmWY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

Dear son @ja.montae congratulations 💍 US!!, I’ve cried many times thinking and overthinking the moves I’ve made for you and praying I didn’t fail you or ruin your chance at chasing your dreams, for not being faster to pull the trigger when everyone was doubting you and black balling you, I should have been a better uncle/father and made better choices but you trusted the plan and process more than me. If i was proactive earlier maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation but if I would have maybe we wouldn’t be able to enjoy this situation that we are enjoying right now!!! It’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you and we’ve been through so much together with this football and with this life thing, I’ve watched you grow and come into your own like know other. Since you were 8 we’ve always had to get ours a different way, we’ve been frustrated, down, lost etc but we’ve never doubted the process. Only a few coaches really believed in you like i did, I’ve always been hard on you because in this world nobody’s going to give you nothing and if someone that loves you to the core unconditionally is hard on you, i knew that a strangers perception of you wouldn’t matter. Thank you for allowing me to be your uncle/father, you chose me, I didn’t chose you, you are everything that I’ve wanted to be. Everything that I’ve done for you, i never speak of or praise because there’s no honor in bragging on something that do for the people you love. You are my blood, my heartbeat and I would do it all again and risk it all, just for you to have a shot at something nobody sacrificed for me. Every game, practice, long drive, training session, argument, lecture etc. was all worth it, the path may be altered or had to be tweaked but we always played the hand that we were dealt because what’s the point of throwing the hand in when you can win with every hand if you play it right. It’s just the beginning, to ME, YOU are one of the BEST in the STATE and can line it up with anyone, they know that, thank you @q__payton for everything you do and continue to do for my son, love you fam!!! 1k receiving 16 TDs, 10 INTs 2 for TDs, 6 PR & KR TDs and #statechampionship We still got work to do 💪🏾🔒❤️ (at Virginia State Championship) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWimg-IL-pW/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

We live in a time where people only check for you via social media because the only time they know you exist is when you post, write captions or create a reel. but see i operate in real time because theirs a off and on button with real time, i live here, i rather know you exist when there’s no filter, when there’s no captions when you can get a feel of who’s really behind the facade that’s being put up to fit a image that we all create through social media. I been lit since #MySpace, ask tom. We live life through posts which are mental notes to our past but just because we do does it mean that you have to live to post. Everything isn’t meant to be posted, some things you have to enjoy without. We let society trick us into thinking that if it wasn’t posted it didn’t happen, well it did mothafucka, it was enjoyed, it was a fucking time and they just mad that you didn’t let them enjoy it. Get out and see the world, stop waiting on your friends and family to go and see what else the world has to offer because waiting on them you will never experience life outside of your hometown that you claim you hate. Pack your bags and just go even if you have to travel solo, i bet you have more fun because you will be on your own time and nobody else’s. To all my young guys in these streets, I’m not going to tell you to leave the streets because what you do to provide for you and your family will always come first but playing the streets just for designer and materialistic things will not create memories or lifetime moments because they get old and go out of style to fast. Grind to get out the streets, to go experience cultures and lifestyles were you aren’t looking over your shoulder thinking your opposition is gunning for you. Create moments and memories that will last even when it’s no longer trendy. Live life, it’s bigger than your hometown, there’s a world going on outside and deeper and realer than what you see on your phone screen. I’ve found my purpose on this earth and it’s not to love the surface because nothing last forever and everything’s for purchase… bizzle… #thisisknowledge (at Amsterdam Centrum, Noord-Holland, Netherlands) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWLz7NlPpZL/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

Happy birthday 11/11, woke up and wiped the tears and cream out my eyes and thank Allah for another year to revolve and evolve into something greater than what I’ve been currently living. Dear Life, I’m Thankful and blessed to see another year. You’ve learned the buttons to hurt me and you stand on it, yet each year you’ve blessed and overwhelmed me with so many things. Life you have taught me so much, given me so much pain, taken so much from me, all while blessing me to see and do things I’ve never envisioned or thought I would be seeing or doing but here we are, thank you. Yet I still question if I am built to shoulder this shit even though i know i am, because when you had to get it out the mud, you are built for anything. Yet the older I get the more I hate, yet appreciate that we(I) had to get it out the mud because getting it out the mud has taken so much from us, gave us so little, taught us that surviving to live was normal, gave us mental disorders, we struggle to pin point and trauma we’ve made homes out of, however it’s given us the willpower to overcome anything. Life will teach you that you know nothing until you’ve felt pain, hit rock bottom, lost ones you’ve die for and that chasing happiness comes with a price that most of don’t really want to sacrifice so we fake it and suffer later. So these days i don’t want happiness, happiness comes with highs and lows, ups and downs, i don’t want that for me, i don’t want my life to be some stock market waiting to crash because of whatever isn’t happening or has happened, etc. i don’t want to find happiness because in order to find happiness you have to embrace the middle ground in between happiness and sadness, give and take, so i am good without it!! most people are only happy online through pictures and captions that come from song lyrics and titles or locations but peace comes from wherever, from whomever and that’s something you can’t fake through pictures, song lyrics or titles through captions… #thisisknowledge PS: these KD numbers are going to crazy!! Take care of your mental on this road of yours and love on your people in the process… ❤️🔒💪🏾 Bizzle… (at Amsterdam, Netherlands) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWI1tF9sBRF/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

Forever #Faithful and Forever Grateful. Life is just too short not to be enjoyed, we invest too much time, stock and energy into people, places and things that don’t really matter and it jades us to the point where we start forgetting what and who matters. Live a little because in these days and times we witnessed too many people die or get locked up knowing they never really lived or enjoyed life because they feel like they don’t have the money or time to do so. Make the certain sacrifices and you will be able to do and go wherever you want when you want. Life will always be your greatest teacher, they will love you out of when you #WIN and they will cheer and talk about you when you lose and say what you should’ve did to win but fuck them who the fuck are they to say what you should’ve done. Moral of the story: give these mothafuckas hell every chance you get and put a smile on doing it no matter if you win or learn the lesson because there’s no real such thing as losing if you learn something from it… #thisisknowledge P.S. fuck you #eagles fan haha y’all wanted to kill and salute to the security for kicking you bum ass fans out for throwing shit, sorry ass losers 😂🤣😂 PSS. #BangBangNinerGang this #49ers shit for life 🤣😂 we washing our cars with them bum as shirts from the eagles nest y’all gave out… (at Lincoln Financial Philadelphia Eagles Stadium) https://www.instagram.com/p/CUBOV_4vUiH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

I’ve been trying to heal in the same places that made me sick, so busy self loathing instead of self loving, I’ve found myself missing out of things i should have been enjoying. So busy reflecting on pain inside of embracing joy, love and pain that I’ve missed out on moments with people i will never be able to see again, hold again, love again etc that it has caused me to lose a peace of mind. So busy saving and chasing money that it has made me forget that you will never appreciate what you worked hard to obtain if you don’t enjoy that shit because you can’t take it with you. Life has taught me that you pain and losses will teach you more than happiness and wins but don’t be so jaded that you forget that in life MORE WINS (wins can be anything that changes the trajectory of your life) and GENUINE #HAPPINESS is all that matters when it’s all said and done. We’ve become too addicted to darkness and I’ve found that truth in my shame which lead to my pain, I’ve been looking for change but i pray when it’s all said and done I be the change. Don’t let life defeat you and take your feet from under you to the point where you start living in #depression as if that’s the norm. I love ❤️ you, protect your peace, protect your happiness and protect your mental by any means necessary… #thisisknowledge 🤞🏾❤️♾ (at Philadelphia, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT-9KrcsmOW/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

Happy 18th birthday nephew more like my son, I ain’t birth you but i help raise you, mold you, my life is your life, my blood is your blood @ja.montae Dear world, continue to be kind to my heartbeat 💓, please continue to bless him with the things I couldn’t have and open every door for him that you sent me on a detour from. Thank you for everything, thank you for teaching me how to be a better man, a better person and how to be a father, you will forever be my 1st son. I owe you everything and i pray that I’ve gave and did everything I possibly could to give you the chances I didn’t have. Just know I don’t regret anything I’ve done to see you succeed, I would pause everything in my life to give you chances I’ve never had, your dreams are my dreams and I will endure everyone of your nightmares and make them mind just so you don’t have to experience anything I’ve had to. You are my heartbeat, you are my breath of fresh air and I rather be left gasping for air if it meant that you was going to win. Go after it all, this world 🌍 is way bigger than what you’ve seen so go see it, I am thankful you never wanted to be cool, wanted to be gang and always just wanted to be you. One of my greatest accomplishments in life is everything that you are. I will die for you, I will lie for you and I will make the world cry and bleed for you my boi!!! Enjoy your new year, it’s time to shine, grow, go and glow, we up from here… #thisisknowledge #happybirthday #18thbirthday (at ♪♫•*¨*• .¸¸Happy♥Birthday¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTGLqK1nRTM/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

Happy birthday to my brothers @kennycuffee & @relefordiv , my best friends, roll dogs, my ace in the holes, without y’all i would have been fucked up a lot of times. Only kings stand next to me. The definition of what #LOYALTY and #LOVE looks like, feels like, we came out the water and dirt with it, until we in the mud with it. Thing about this family of ours, it’s real and nothing has ever broke us. Y’all both pulled me out that struggle, got me out the mud, saved my life. Y’all showed and taught me what love and loyalty is!! I never understood why y’all hearts were so big, why y’all was so forgiving but as we got older i finally grasped it and i now understand it. I am forever indebted to you both man, i pray i am able to pay you both back even though we don’t count favors or ever expect anything return, i just know i owe it to you both not because it’s deserved. Disagreements, arguments, debate, about everything, If y’all say it’s this, I am debating and arguing it’s that, I Pam and Shelly hated us 😂🤣😂 but we going to get this debate off but what we ain’t never did was fallout or falloff because this what family is. Two of the realist, most down to earth, best father’s a kid or god kid could ever ask for, continue to flourish and shine man, I love you both, I pray this next year catapults y’all to another level and everything that y’all are working on materialize on every level. LIL MOBB, Shelly Boy’s, Atlantis & Friendship Babies 💪🏾🔒❤️ I owe you boys my life @kennycuffee @relefordiv and for y’all I will die or risk it all about till the casket drops, Family Over Everything. WE LOVE EACH OTHER TO LIFE around here, because we going to live for each other for an INFINITY HERE AND AFTER LIFE… #thisisknowledge (at Ｈａｐｐｙ・Ｂｉｒｔｈｄａｙ) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSy6imxndSG/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

#ShellysKids Dear Mama, I feel empty without you here and I would do anything to bring you back but You and the Wards raised us right, that shit saved our life. Thank you for standing in the rain so your SONs could see the light and we now see you in Yolanda’s eyes. You home now, it’s not 406 Hill Meadow home, but your pain is gone, your heart was my heart and I would burden your pain 1 million times over and over just for another day with you ma. It’s hard to stomach because I never visioned this life mission without you. It wasn’t perfect but you raised us right, you never let us feel the pain that you was feeling, you never let us feel the struggle that you had to endure and it’s beautiful seeing your 1st baby walk that walk and talk that talk like you. Yolanda’s the rock of this, she’s the captain of this ship, she looked to your boys for guidance and we wasn’t strong enough to burden them Ma, please forgive us. Ma, you lived a life like no other but I just wished you didn’t have to answer that call when God called you, you with your son now, losing him cut you deeply and we knew it, you just never showed us because weren’t big on emotions, but now I wish I could hear you say you love me one more time. Right or wrong you was doing it the Shelly Way, tell Cornell, we love him and look over us because Yolanda got us down here. There will never be a love that’s greater than the love of your mother, love you Ma, you will forever be the greatest 🕊❤️🐐4:06 Gang, this isn’t a goodbye, this a see you again, Shelly!!!! #thisisknowledge (at Family) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSPCSGEHMxH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

Rest In Peace Ma!!! Shelly how am I going to do this thing called life without you? Mom, I love you, please say it back, My ears need to hear it more than ever, Mom, I love you, my heart needs to feel it more than ever. Shelly how am i supposed to survive without you? I’m sorry for all that I put you through but I cherished you, without there would be no me, I would be lost in this world and I pray that the love I poured into you paid for all the stress I cost you. Thank you for saving me, kissing on me and hugging on me, you was THAT WOMAN, when everyone was gone, We had you Ma. You were the lifeline a lost child needed, you were the heartbeat to my pulse, you were the breath to my lungs, you were the foot to my print, the spine to my back and the soul to my life, send me a sign and tell me where do I go from here. I’ve cried tears, to float a boat, I never wanted wind in your sails because I just can’t see you go, so i am holding on to you like an anchor. We never spoke about emotional things, we just knew the unconditional love was there because we showed it, we never spoke about tough times because we just overcame them but now I wish we had time to have those conversations. Mama you aren’t allowed to leave, I’m allowed to be selfish about my mom, you saved me from a cold world and they say a parent isn’t supposed to bury their child but it’s even harder for a child to bury their parent because who’s going to parent us during these hard times, who’s going to wipe the tears away, hug your shoulder and tell “it’s going to be aight” who’s there to parent a grieving child? I took our time for granted, thinking we would get more time and I’m sorry mom, I should have did more, I should have said more, I loved you unconditionally but I should have loved you more. When everyone went home to their families, I knew when I got lonely and needed a shoulder, listening ear or a love I couldn’t find, I knew 4:25 - 4:06 was there like clock work. ❤️🕊😇 I needed you more than you needed me and I need you more than ever now, I just pray you heard my last “I love You” forever Shelly’s Boy!!! 💔😇🕊😢4:06 Gang #WardStrong #thisisknowledge (at Heaven's Gate) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRyn-PehpiP/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

I don't take it personal, I be on to the next shit because I'm versatile… #thisisknowledge (at Lake Lanier Islands Harbor Landing) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ7JPFIhVwa/?utm_medium=tumblr

[corderoknows]

life’s been serving me lemons lately but life is still good, yeah life is still good… #thisisknowledge (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQ4yzWeBnou/?utm_medium=tumblr