cowboylikehim

[cowboylikehim]

Happy birthday to Jonathan Groff

[cowboylikehim]

FOREVER IN LOVE WITH THE WAY YOU WRITE FINNICK UGH ITS SO GOOD IM SENDING YOU A BIG HUG LOVIE ! 🧡

i love you i love you i love you. giving you a smooch rn.

[cowboylikehim]

finnick odair would frown at the way you sluggishly walk in the door, after a long day at the capitol. he'd had enjoyed his day at home, spending time at the shore, collecting a few shells that made him think of you. maybe even a funny looking piece of driftwood. he'd frown as you immediately crash into the couch, sighing at the feeling. finnick would finally greet you, his voice gentle and saddened by your exhaustion. however he'd smile slightly at the way you're shoulders lower at the sound of his voice. how you tilted your head toward his voice but kept your tired eyes closed. your eyelids, covered in light blue sparkles and shadows. the shiny blue stars looked that most uncomfortable.

"hey, lets get you to bed." he'd say while putting his hands on your shoulders from behind the couch, starting to slowly massage the day away. you'd whine out some sort of protest, too tired to think about getting up. he'd chuckle and you'd feel his hands leave your shoulders. just before you open your eyes to see where he had gone, you feel his hands grab yours and a tired smile returns to your face. "m' gonna lift you, sunshine."

and he does, his muscles ache from swimming all day but he smiles at the feeling of your weight in his arms. somedays he despises his toned muscles, despises what it represents to the capitol but in this moment he feels proud to be able to hold you and take care of you. he carries you to your shared bedroom, setting you down on propped up pillows.

you whine out a noise and extend your arms blindly at him. he chuckles, more emotionally touched than amused and murmurs that he'll be right back. he returns minutes later, hands full of different bottles that he sets on the nightstand.

"it's gonna be warm, pretty." he says it quiet, almost as an afterthought as seconds later a warm washcloth meets your closed eyelid. his hand move gently, far too gentle than needed to get the stubborn glitter off but neither of you complain. he puts some facial oil to get most of the makeup off, rubbing it away. he hums softly as he works until he's satisfied. he opens some moisturizer, rubbing it between his hands to warm it up. he smiles as he softly rubs it into your face. your eyes open as you mutter your thanks and his hands still on your cheeks, thumbs moving back and forth.

"welcome, sunshine." he smiles at the tired but lovesick look in your eyes. he smiles at how you lean heavily into his left palm, moments away from sleep. he leaves the nightstand a mess as he climb into bed with you, gently rubbing your back as you sleepily nuzzle into him.

[cowboylikehim]

You Missed My Heart. Finnick Odair

set in d13, r was at the capital after the quarter quell and doesn't remember finnick fully. requests open!!

You hug your knees, feeling your heart swim around in the deep blue, murky feeling in your chest. these days it feels more like drowning, the guilt and uncertainty acting as concrete boots, keeping you stuck to the hospital bed. You've found yourself thinking more with your heart these days, brain left in numbness after months at the capitol. It's a scary thing to rely on your intuition, to trust that your heart will remember what was beaten out of your brain. Survival has always been part intuition and part logic, a tightrope many victors learn to walk. This kind of intuition is new, less picking up of lies and body language and more learning not to outrun the sickening vulnerability building inside you.

He knocks before he comes in, gentle knocks on the door. The door's always open anyway, the doctors don't let you close it all the way, but the light introduction is always welcomed. You enjoy the way the knocks pull your gaze to the door, seeing the look in his eyes. Finnick always smiles gently, asking if he can come in. You say yes, the vulnerable feeling filling up your chest slowly.

He knocks before he comes in, smiling at the way you immediately look up at him. The first few weeks he knocked to give you a warning of his presence. He would frown slightly at the panicked look on your face, how you'd curl in on yourself, trying to make yourself take up as little space as possible. Throughout time you'd settled more, no longer feeling that surge of panic but he still knocked. He loved the way your eyes soften once you see him, if only for a second. How the corners of your mouth would turn up, shoulders lowering once he knocked. He knocks before he comes in, smiling warmly at the small glimpses he catches of who you were before.

"Hey, sweetheart." He waits by the doorway. "Can I come in?"

You nod, turning your body to face him. You feel your heart ache with a feeling you know well but can't name. You wonder often if you felt this way before the Capitol sunk its teeth into you, you wonder if you gave it a name, you wonder if it was a welcomed feeling then. You've become close to this feeling throughout your recovery at District 13. It's part adrenaline and excitement, maybe at one point described as butterflies in your stomach. Now it's a sense of unknown familiarity reeking of vulnerability that feels more like a cliff, wondering if you'll take a step too far.

He walks in slowly, sitting down on the edge of the bed, far enough to give you lots of space but close enough that you can smell the slight scent of gunpowder on him. You don't know why but the smell makes you feel like you've lost something. You frown slightly, wondering what he smelled like before, and why now it makes your chest ache.

You look over his face with your eyes, scanning between his jawline, his eyes, and his nose hoping that if you memorized everything about him it'd spark something in you. It only makes the sickening flutter in your chest grow, a terrifying feeling that makes you want to scoot closer to him and hide at the same time. "Hi. It's nice to see you."

He smiles, tracing over the faded schedule written on his arm, you notice the section with your name far more faded than the rest. "It's good to see you too. I missed you."

He keeps his distance, moving his thumb back and forth over his arm. You're not too sure you want him to. "I missed you too, I think."

"You think?" He chuckles lightly, lightheartedly teasing. The tone feels like a hometown.

"Yeah. At least, my heart missed you." You look down at your hands, softly picking at the cuticles. You shake your head as you speak, "I don't remember much but I feel it, I guess, if that makes sense."

He hums, "It makes sense. My heart missed you, too. What does it feel like?"

You take a shakey breath, the intense and murky uncertainty creeps up in your throat. "Weird." He laughs at that. "Like I'm forgetting something I shouldn't have, which I guess I am. You feel right, familiar. I just- I like you. It's just scary not remembering why. But I don't want you to go away."

He gently takes your hand, stopping you from continuing to pick at your cuticles. His thumb is stained lightly with black ink from the writing on his arm. The pain in your chest feels a little more like welcomed lovesickness. "M' not gonna go away if you don't want me to. You're doing so good."

You smile at the words before a crease appears on your forehead. "I feel guilty sometimes. I can tell I loved you a lot. It hurts my heart, in a good way, I think. I know you love me. I just wish I could give you more than this."

He breathes deep, thumb still moving back and forth over the back of your hand. He takes a moment before speaking. "This is more than enough. You are always more than enough. You were my best friend before you were anything else, sweetheart."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You squeeze his hand softly. It's barely noticeable. He's unsure if you even meant to but his face breaks out into a wide grin. You spend the rest of the allowed time talking about your days. The black ink from his thumb will end up on your hand as he continues his motions back and forth. Eventually, he gives your hand one last squeeze before standing up to leave.

"Finnick?"

"Yeah?" He turns to you.

"See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, angel." He gazes at you with a look in his eyes that makes you feel warm. The smudge of black ink shines in the cold lighting of the room, something you'll continue to trace occasionally until he knocks again tomorrow.

[cowboylikehim]

cozy and content -prompts for your otp cuddling in bed

prompt list by @novelbear

drawing circles and patterns on their chest

humming/singing their partner to sleep

carefully trying to turn the lamp on the nightstand off without letting go of their partner in their arms

"what's wrong?" "your feet are cold!"

playing with their hair

laying their head on their lover's shoulder, one arm lazily wrapped around their torso and a leg over theirs

taking innocent peeks at their partner's phone every once in a while they're scrolling

"your hair smells nice..."

smiling as they feel their partner lay a firm kiss on the top of their head

"did we fall asleep?" "i think we did.."

not being able to be calm for five minutes as tickle matches ensue

sneaking photos of each other because they're just too cute

laughing when one drops their phone on their face

"we should really get up." "we should....but we won't."

feeding them fruits/other snacks they have

absentmindedly playing with the other's fingers

melting because they just look so cute all bundled up in blankets

^ like i mean they're all curled up and look small, covered up so much that all they can see are big eyes peeking out and innocently blinking at them from the blanket. how do you want them to keep a straight face.

feeling little kisses being placed on their neck, chest, or chin from time to time.

"did you just wash these sheets?" "i did." "they smell nice. and they're still warm."

holding them as if they're protecting the other from the world as they're snuggled up at their side.

[cowboylikehim]

I really need some finnick x reader comfort please😭😭😭finals are draining me

thats so real. im writing this instead of studying for my finals😭

he's humming a song in the kitchen when the door slowly opens. he smiles at you, a different kind of smile than what the world knows. it's softer, less teeth and more in the eyes. a smile that's just between the two of you, a reminder that despite the cards some things are truly just theirs. you can't find it in yourself to reciprocate the loving look, your attempt convoluted into a grimace. the creases by his eyes soften as his smile fades into a soft frown.

"long day?" he asks, putting down the cup in his hands and setting the kettle on the stove. you nod slowly, setting your bag on the kitchen island chair. he makes a short noise of disapproval before rounding the counter to you.

"come'ere, honey." he reaches out to you, softly smiling when your head gently thumps against his chest, too tired to resist his warmth. he puts one hand against the back of your hair and the other lightly grips the fabric of your overly fancy coat. he pulls the sleeve off of you, then delicately manhandles you around so he can fully free you of the coat. he lets it slump on the floor. it's entirely too nice to be discarded in a pile on the ground, but finnick can't think of how your stylist would freak as he removes another mark of the capitol on you. he engulfs you in a hug, strong arms squeezing you as he rubs small circles into your back.

"just tired, finny." you mutter into his chest, breathing in the comforting smell of the ocean. "it's too much for me."

he hums in response while swaying with you in his arms. he takes a moment before speaking barely above a whisper, "come lie down with me. promise you'll feel better, angel."

you nod, making no real effort to untangle yourself from his arms. "in a minute. wanna stay with you."

he laughs, the sound like a shot of energy through your tired body. you finally tilt your head to look up at him, chin resting on his shoulder. he looks down at you, rocking the two of you back and forth. the look in his eyes is the one only you get, the look no one would ever expect from the expected from cocky and charming capital darling. the look of softness, something you'd never expect you could have found again. softness was seen as a weakness, a downfall to survival. somehow, in the walls surrounding you, you'd found a way to do more than survive. you tiredly smile up at him, dopey and lovesick.

[cowboylikehim]

in my hunger games era and really wanna try writing for finnick so if anyone has any requests send them in !!!

[cowboylikehim]

Would you please do 43“You have no idea how much I want you right now.” with Maeve Wiley? Thank You!

-gender neutral-

she watched their eyes scan over the page, going back and forth over each line. she played with hands, trying to look anywhere around the trailer but at (y/n). after the first page, (y/n) read in almost complete silence, except the occasional soft sniffle and shuffle of their jacket as they wiped away teary eyes. meanwhile, Maeve watched them, completely abandoning any worries of any judgment of her writing. she felt her breath grow shallow as she stared at the person sitting on her couch. Maeve looked at them with wide eyes, in awe at how comfortable it felt to have them in her home, how much (y/n) made it feel like a home.

Maeve wished she could just say what she wanted to, how much she loved (y/n). how perfect it felt when they washed the dished together after a movie night. how amazing domesticity felt with (y/n). Maeve wished she could find the words to tell (y/n) how her heart skipped when they got sleepy and rested their head on her lap or when they grabbed her hand to lead her through a crowd.

"Maeve, i-" (y/n) paused scanning over the pages. "you're writing is phenomenal. you're gonna make miss sands cry when she reads this."

"i don't think i can turn it in." Maeve gently grabbed the stack of papers from (y/n)'s hand before shoving it in her bag. "it's too personal."

"Maeve you have to! this is the best thing i've read in forever. its personal but that makes it heartfelt and moving. i've known you for years and reading your writing makes me feel so much closer to you." (y/n) moved closer to Maeve, putting a hand on hers.

Maeve slowly looked up from her lap to meet (y/n)'s eyes, filled with deep caring and admiration. Maeve opened her mouth, searching for the words to say while scanning over how loving (y/n) looked at her.

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.” Maeve spoke barely above a whisper.

(y/n)'s eyes widened and they leaned back briefly before clasping their fingers with Maeve's. "you can have me, if you want."

Maeve gently shook her head, "you deserve better, people find out we're something and they'll be a bunch of piss dicks to you."

(y/n) lightly grasped Maeve's chin, turning her toward (y/n), "Maeve, you deserve a happy ending and we both know that you are tough enough for the both of us. plus i can hold my own."

Maeve let out a small chuckle, leaning closer to (y/n).

"kiss me."

[cowboylikehim]

hey! could u do some angst with billy hargrove, after he beats up steve in front of the party? thank you!!

-i don’t write angst much but im def feeling it rn so send in some requests!! this is also gender neutral-

the air was so cold that their exposed skin stung as they stood in silence. the moonlight shining on the mix of cigarette smoke and warm breath floating up into the cold night.

they should've known. everyone told (y/n) how it would end, how billy would never end up working out. they felt so stupid, blinded by how he treated max better when (y/n) was around, blinded by his charming smile and surprisingly sweet words behind closed doors.

billy put out his cigarette before turning to (y/n), "you can't just leave like this, you know i'm not like that, babe."

"billy, what do you want me to say! You can't beat the shit out of people!" (y/n) pushed themselves off of the hood of the car.

"don't be like that, you didn't give a shit before. why do you like Harrington so much, you know he's a dick." billy spoke, rolling his eyes in distain.

"you really don't get it, huh. b, you can't beat up a guy for doing nothing, especially in front of those kids! i'm not going to date a bully, you know i care about those kids and i can't let you do that to them." (y/n) made direct eye contact with the man before turning on their heel.

"please, don't leave-" he reached out to grab their shoulder.

(y/n) whipped back around, pushing his hand off before storming closer to billy, "billy, unless you can give me a reason why you are acting like this, we are done."

they stared at each other for a minute, (y/n) standing tall and fueled with rage and disappointment, billy looked at them with a slight quiver in his lip before taking a deep breath.

"exactly, bill, you can't. I love you but i can't be with you."

billy locked his jaw and looked away before speaking, "it's fine, i don't give a shit about it anyway."

(y/n) sighed deeply before turning to walk away, angrily exclaiming, "jesus billy, call me when you grow the fuck up. we're done."

he watched them walk away until he couldn't see them, and then he stared at the same spot until the cold air started to sting.

[cowboylikehim]

can you write a fem reader x robin buckley? whatever you want!!

it was a weird game. subtle glances and carefully placed compliments. odd comments on each other's style and interests. a friendship that was comfortable and serene most of the days but occasionally it was a friendship like playing chess. every move thought out and meticulously placed, trying to stay between the lines of a teasing friendship and flirtation without jumping off the edge into getting friend-zoned.

robin made it easy. her sarcastic nature made teasing words roll off the tongue like honey. suddenly you find yourself thinking of her, staring at the ceiling, and then you know, you are in deep.

the lines of a flirtatious friendship and a relationship are blurry, but they suddenly become a lot less blurry when you have a friend named steve obsessed with matchmaking all his friends in the placement of getting a partner himself. and currently, his quest was robin. and somewhat me.

granted, it all got way clearer once robin came out. now the question changed from is she gay to does she even like me. once again, having a kindhearted, dumbass friend named steve helped in his own obvious way. but as two people terrified of rejection even yelling 'you two would be a cute couple!' extremely loud from the pool doesn't do much progress.

eventually, she met me at my house after her shift at family video and we turned on a movie, sitting down to watch it together.

it was a weird feeling, feeling completely comfortable with someone but also absolutely nervous, caught between sitting in the stabbing silence or spilling your guts with the risk of triggering the destruction of a friendship you care so deeply about.

"robin, i-" oh my god what am i doing. "i like girls."

she looked over at me, her face growing serious as she processed my rushed words. as she spoke, she smiled comfortingly, "thats awesome, now i have someone to talk to about girl problems because steve's not having any luck with the girls at the video store either, surprisingly."

"i think i like you." she blinked surprised before slightly furrowing her brows.

"seriously? like, not a joke at all?"

"serious." my voice wavered when i spoke as i stared down at my lap.

"i like you too! you should have told me earlier!" she smiled brightly while she laughed out her words, "i've been all nervous and jealous around you for months for nothing!"

"i thought you wouldn't like me!" we laughed with bliss while the movie was only used as white noise in the background.

robin threw her head back over the couch laughing before moving her head to my shoulder. immediately, i tensed before letting out a shaky breath, "so, what do we do now?"

"i really like you and would be so down to date you if you think you're ready." she shifted her head to look up at me.

"yeah i'm ready to date"

she grabbed my hand before she spoke, "(y/n), do you wanna be my girlfriend?"

[cowboylikehim]

can i get a request for a carl grimes blurb? something fluffy and maybe including art? thx!!

hey!! this is my first fic since i’ve started writing again so its kinda stiff but i hope you still enjoy! and this fic takes place in a world where the grimes family is happy like they deserve

--

"how'd the run go?" I asked as he sat down on the bed next to me.

"It was fine, not a lot happened but I guess we found some good supplies." He grabbed his bag and reached inside. "But I did find some stuff that I wanted to give you."

He pulled out a set of pencils and a sketchbook, "I, uh, I don't know if it's any good but I thought you could use them. You're really creative."

"Carl, that's so nice, thank you!" I pecked his cheek before grabbing the sketchbook from his hands. The paper was pretty good. "You have any comics you haven't read yet?"

"I think so, my dad got some for RJ a while back but he read them already." He reached over to the nightstand and rummaged through the various comics, knocking over both the resident nightstand water bottle and the collection of chap sticks there in the process. "Yeah, you wanna read them with me?"

I leaned against the headboard of the bed, putting my legs over his, "No, but I was thinking you could read while I draw or something. You know, like a cute date."

"Sounds good to me, I'll do whatever if it's with you." He gave me a boyish smile, full of love and adoration.

"That was absolutely cheesy but thanks, Carl." I picked up my pencil and started drawing. "I love you."

"Even when I'm too cheesy?" He said with a jokingly sarcastic tone.

"Yes, dumbass, even then." I said with a smile. I leaned over, giving him a kiss.

A big smile grew on his face, along with a light blush, "I love you too."

We both grew into a comfortable silence as we focused on our activities. After a while of concentrating on the page and my sketch, I started to get restless and moved my legs off of Carl's before laying my head on his lap.

"You comfortable?" He said, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

"'m sleepy." I smiled when I felt a blanket drape over my body. "Will you read to me?"

He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "yeah, just relax and sleep if you want to, you deserve a nap. I love you."

[cowboylikehim]

send in requests please!!

Angst/fluff Prompt List

Please don’t repost (stealing isn’t cool, but reblog if you wish) <3 <3

“I love you, please don’t go.”

“Stay here tonight.”

“Please don’t walk out of that door.”

“I thought things were going great.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“You make every day worth living.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

“I’m never letting you go.”

“You meant too much to me.”

“I won’t let you.”

“How could you ask me that?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you, you’re safe with me.”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be with him/her?”

“I’ve got you.”

“I can’t sleep, can I stay here?”

“It’s late.  Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“How are you feeling today?”

“You look amazing tonight.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

“What’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

“Wanna go grab a drink?”

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Here, let me help you.”

“Kiss me.”

“I care about you.”

“You could have warned me!”

“That was unexpected.”

“You haven’t lost me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Don’t cry.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“You make me feel safe.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“Thank you, for everything.”

“All I wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I can’t do this on my own.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

“Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re always on my mind.”

“You have no idea how much I want you right now.”

“You’ve always felt like home.”

“I can’t imagine this world without you.”

“Dance with me.”

“Trust me.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Who hurt you?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.”

“You make me feel alive.”

“I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

“Who cares about what they think?”

“Let’s go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve always got me.”

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

“Is this okay?”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“Did you need something?”

“Do you have a ride home?”

“I am home.”

“What happened back there?”

“That’s not gonna happen.”

“Why me?”

“I’m right where I belong.”

“Fine.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?”

“You need sleep.”

“Excuse me?”

“What are you doing?”

“What did you expect?”

“You’re not alone.”

“We’re meant for each other.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“I’ve always been honest with you.”

“It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”

“Just breathe, okay?”

“When I’m with you, I’m happy.”

“Going somewhere?”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Don’t be scared, I’m right here.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“I’m better, now that you’re here.”

“I could never forget you.”

“Forget it.”

“That’s in the past.”

“You make me happy.”

“You’re more than that.”

“I won’t lose you too.”

“Come cuddle.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I’ve had enough.”

“I fell in love with you, not them.”

“You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to.”

[cowboylikehim]

that blurb was really cute!! i loved it so much!! thankss

im glad you liked it!! thanks so much for the request, i really liked the formatting of blurbs! have a good day/night!

[cowboylikehim]

a blurb of carl realizing his in love with reader, like the moment when he is like “fuck i’m in love”

     He saw it coming. The little things he noticed about them added up over time but he was quick to give himself an excuse or forget. After everything he has witnessed and been through, he had an easy distraction from his feelings toward them. 

     They went on a run together with a few others but broke into pairs. They were looking for anything in an old convenient store a few miles away from home. Carl was focused on making sure the building was entirely clear and safe to let any guards down while (y/n) was scanning over the aisles. As soon as Carl lowered his gun and turned to (y/n), he was being dragged by them to the 4th aisle, the book/magazines section. They happily pointed to the comic books and began reminiscing about a peaceful car drives the two spent reading comics to pass the time. 

     It was a lot of things added up. The way they were always strong when they needed to and the way (y/n) didn’t mind spending nights in Carl’s room, lying in bed while he cried. He never felt the urge to put up a front around (y/n). In an old store surrounded by dust, half-empty shelves from past strangers and the undead, he felt calm. Carl always felt true around them, like he was most himself he’s ever been. When he felt how right the moment was and saw the look on (y/n)’s as they offered him a comic in a series they had been reading. Sure they read the first 3 then the 7th one and then the final book, but to them, it didn’t matter how the story went. (y/n)'s face lit up, they were so elated to find something that made Carl happy. And Carl knew nothing would make him happier than for (y/n) to never feel anything but joy for the rest of their life.

     It hit him in that one moment, and he froze. Just staring at (y/n) hold out the comic, arm outstretched. The realization was overwhelming and even though he saw it coming since the sleepovers and pinky promises started he never admitted it to himself. He loved (y/n). Everything about them worked so well with him, like every walker swarm and life-threatening situation had led him to this moment. 

      “I think I love you a lot”

[cowboylikehim]

playing video games- Carl Grimes

Requested: Okay so the song seventeen by Heathers, Carl and the reader have been together since the prison . When they get to Alexandria she makes him choose who he loves more you or Enid, but you were best friend post- apocalypse, then got together in the prison

A/n: so sorry it look forever, i got out of the fandom and only got back in today. hopefully i’ll be writing more

The defining moment of my life happened at the prison. We were still young, feeling an ounce of safety at the compound. Finally having something to hold onto, a home to grip with white knuckles. We met each other not long after the apocalypse started and easily clicked. The security of the prison gifted me with more time to think about trivial things like having a crush on my best friend. I remember stressing to an unreasonable extent. Turns out he was too, but eventually, he stumbled into my cell, after a literal push from Beth, and asked me out.

We were happy. In this kind of world, safety never lasts. Nothing could be dependable. But I always had him to grasp onto. Carl Grimes was the only person that I always had no matter what. Hours spent in fear of the days to come and dangers outside morphed into hours spent enjoying any fragment of childish youth with him. He taught me how to enjoy the silly Polaroids we took. That when put in chronological order paint the picture of our development. Starting off with us, smiling together in his cell to him kissing my cheek the week he asked me out.

We were always there for each other. He patched up all my insecurities and I repay the favor every time. His soft words healed all nightmares surrounding my head. I held all his pinky promises, spoke in quiet and scaring moments, dear to my heart. Nights, where he’d crawl into my bed after terrors and listen to me talk about my day or sing just because he loved the sound of my voice, have been engraved into my mind like fence wires poking and prodding my skin when killing walkers.

I used to be upset that I was the only girl at the prison. Maybe it was because I was his only choice. I spent nights alone wondering if Carl was in love with the idea of being loved and held when he wanted rather than me. Quickly, all questions of how deep his love for me vanished. As soon as we made it official, he treated me in a different way. Carl Grimes, my best friend, was protective. But not in the way my boyfriend was. A single questioning glance sent my way during a run paired with a skeptical tilt of his head to ensure my well being changed into him dropping whatever task was assigned to him in order to wrap me in his warm embrace before looking into my eyes, speaking reassuring words. On runs, he went from always keeping me in his range of sight, as I did with him, to begging me not to go at all.

Alexandria was bitter to us, after seeing the downfall of the prison and all the death that followed. We all had a hard time trusting another supposed beacon of hope. But, with kind smiles and neighbors sharing sugar and sweets at dinner, I learned to trust these people. Carl took much longer, he resented the fact that they could be ignorant of what was going on. Carl didn’t understand that while he had to be an adult out there, he could finally let his hair down and play video games like a normal teenager. It took a lot of convincing but eventually, he picked up the controller and lost countless rounds of Mario Kart to Ron.

We made friends, but no one could compare to each other for us. We both grew close to Enid; She was amazing. She was a sweet girl who was tough and knew what it was like past these walls. We’d all go out into a clearing in the woods and Enid and I would draw, write or talk as Carl tried to get us to go on some dangerous adventure. I trusted Carl and I trusted Enid. And when I stepped up to help around the group more I didn’t mind that they would go outside the walls together.

With time things changed. He had that look in his eyes. I saw it when he looked at me at the prison after Beth tried to point it out a million times. I can’t blame Enid. I also played the role as the hopeless girl pining after her best friend. Granted, at the time he didn’t have a girlfriend. I have seen the charm he presents and the way his boyish smile and laugh brighten up a room firsthand.

I truly love him. I’ve spent too many sleepless nights overthinking every interaction the two have while Carl sleeps peacefully next to me. Every day I feel him drift further away and I pretend that I don’t realize. At a certain point, I wonder if I am the problem or if it was only a matter of time.

“What?”

“Do you love me?” My voice wavered as I repeated the question.

“Of course I do. Why would you even ask that?” He seemed shocked with a hint of agitation.

“You love Enid.” I tried to keep my voice strong as my hands shook with nerves. “I- I see the way you look at her. Maybe you’re not in love with her but you’re getting there. You look at her like you look at me. When she holds Judith you have this- this glint in your eyes and this smile. You love her.”

He didn’t talk. Just stared at me.

“Carl, I can’t be with you if-”

“You thought to have this conversation at 3 in the morning?” He ran a hand through his hair, “I love you. You’ve been there since the beginning. You know that.”

“You never answered my question. Do you love her?” I don’t know why I was so determined, I’ve been scared of the answer for so many late nights. “I love you and I just want you to be happy, Carl. But I can’t do this if I’m the only thing keeping you from her.”

“I- uh. I don’t know.” He turned away, facing the bright lamplight. “Enid reminds me of the way things were before. She isn’t attached to this place, she can’t get hurt when everything falls apart. I guess I kinda admire that. But I don’t love her, maybe just a fascination but that's it. Promise.”

“Carl, You don’t have to be guarded all the time. You are a teenager, you’re allowed to act like one! Stop trying to be tough all the time. You think you’re protecting yourself but you are only pushing people away and you know it!” I went to get out of bed, going anywhere but here but he grabbed my arm.

“Please don’t go. I can’t- I can’t do this without my best friend. I love you so much.” He sounded desperate, his jaw locked in place as he tried to keep tears down. “I’m scared of getting hurt again. I’ve got too much to lose. Please don’t leave, honey. I’m so sorry.”

I stood in front of him and wrapped my arms around him. “I’m not going to keep coming back, Carl. I won’t do that to myself. When you feel bad, you have to talk to me. I love you so much but I miss the guy who’d read comics and make stupid jokes. You act like the world is on your shoulders. And it was. But now you can let go. I just want to be a kid with you.”

He gripped tightly onto the fabric on the back of my T-shirt. “I’ll try, I promise.”

I smiled, “That’s all I ask.”

He moved his head, looking up at me. “Come back to bed?”

“Of course.”

Getting back into the blankets, he turned off the lamp and gave me a kiss goodnight. Resting my head on his chest, my heart finally started calming down from the events prior.

We were happy again.

[cowboylikehim]

Battle Scars- Carl Grimes

Pairing: Carl Grimes x Gender Neutral! Reader

Summary: (Y/n) has old self-harm scars and Carl sees them. (This one will definitely have a part 2!) Fluff

Warnings!: Self-Harm mentions! Don’t read if triggering!

Carl’s fingertips absentmindedly brushed over (Y/n)’s hips, looking over their shoulder at the comic book in their slightly battered hands. Michonne found a Spider-Man volume somewhere on a run and the young couple had been reading it non-stop. Anything was better than the few comics they had read so much they’d memorize every line.

(Y/n) slowly flipped the pages, their head leaning against Carl’s chest. The moment was one of few like this. Nothing to bother them, the troubles of the world seemingly gone. A moment where they could just take each other in, it didn’t matter what they did. Some days they did nothing but lie in bed, holding each other. And although no words were said, it meant the world to them.

Living in the apocalypse has its hardships, different than how it was before. Worries of school, taxes and the state of the economy were traded out with burdens of walkers, finding food/water and death. The apocalypse doesn’t really give you time to think about anything but survival.

Life wasn’t the best for (Y/n) before the apocalypse. Sometimes when it gets too much, people don’t know how to cope, and they have the scars to remind them of that moment in their life.

(Y/n) didn’t really mind their scars, they’d stopped cutting about a year into the apocalypse, for many reasons, and the scars reminded (Y/n) of everything they’d survived. Of course, they occasionally cause insecurities but (Y/n) was one to quickly push those thoughts away. Nowadays, everyone wears battle wounds on them, their bodies a history book of their story. (Y/n)’s scars are no different, they tell tales of their own battles. But no one but (Y/n) themselves had seen them.

“What are those?” Carl’s voice punctured the comfortable silence. The question made (Y/n)’s heartbeat increase, it always had. While thinking about everything before, (Y/n) started to absentmindedly scratch at their wrist.

“Are they new?” His voice was unsteady. He couldn’t bear the thought of the person he loved more than anything hurting so much to that point.

(Y/n) only could manage a slight shake of their head. They stared blankly at the comic book, all the images blurred as their vision grew hazy, making their eyes sting.

“You don’t . . . feel like that anymore, right?” (Y/n) took a breath in, thankful they were not facing him, they could only imagine the pained look on his face and the way he willed tears not to escape.

“Sometimes I suppose, I don’t think it goes away. I guess . . . I learned how to cope better, I write in the journals Daryl gets me, or make some art with whatever Maggie snagged on the last run. . . Or I go see you. Now I know that people really care, I have a family here.”

That truly was the most life-changing part. Through all the pain of the apocalypse and loss, they’ve made a family chosen not forced. They have an unbreakable bond with people they can lean on.

Carl nodded, taking in the information. His thoughts raced, but he couldn’t catch anything to say, leaving the room in a somber silence.

He gulped, “Are you embarrassed of them?”

(Y/n) was taken aback by the question, “No, I just- uh I don’t want people to worry about me. Or think I’m different and see me as less of a person. But it does get pretty annoying wearing long sleeves in Georgia heat.”

Carl moved so he was facing (Y/n), reaching out to hold their hand. “I promise no one will think you’re a bad or weak person, you are so strong. I love you so much, baby. And if you ever want to wear something so that they are showing, I’ll be by your side the whole time.”

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind, I love you too.” The two went back to reading, Carl holding (Y/n) tighter, kissing their head. “Thanks for being so understanding, and for helping me through it.”

[cowboylikehim]

Aww! Thanks for reading it! I absolutely love when I get reviews!! 

Doodling- Peter Parker

Paring: Peter Parker x Fem! Reader

Summary: (Y/n) draws on Peter’s arm while in class. Fluff!!

The end of the school year was quickly approaching, so naturally, everyone was losing focus. Finals were coming up and each class was studying review to prepare. (Y/n) didn’t see the point of spending all the time to study in an annoying class where no one could really focus. What kind of teacher doesn’t allow headphones?

(Y/n)’s boyfriend, Peter, on the other hand, was jotting down notes. His eyebrows slightly furrowed looking over the small handwriting on the green paper allowed for exams. (Y/n) reminded him often that he was one of the smartest students in class and he shouldn’t stress over it, yet he still did. It was very cute in her opinion.

She grabbed a pen, tapping it boredily on the table. Sighing loudly, she laid her head on her arm, making Peter briefly smile at her.

“Is my despair amusing to you, Parker?”

“Only a little, love. You should probably study, or at least pay attention.” He poked her cheek.

(Y/n) kept tapping her blue pen until a glorious idea popped into her head. She started to inch her hand towards Peter’s arm, carefully watching his focused face. Once she was close enough, she started to doodle on his arm. First drawing, a cute spider. And what’s a spider without a home? So a nice web to go along with it. Carefully, she drew a sunflower.

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