cranezinthesky - Tumblr blog

cranezinthesky · 4 months ago

Text

snooze|a.u

bucky barnes!winter soldier x reader

summary: you can’t seem to get a good’s nights rest, at-least not with the thought a certain someone has found you.

warnings: light swearing, a bit of violence(not to reader), delusion? grammar errors :/

notes: gotta be honest, the only bus i’ve ever taken is to school when i was in middle school. so if the bus time frame is off(probably is lmao) give me grace. also this is a small town, not some big city. reader is super reserved, doesn’t leave the house much and keeps to themselves most of the time. she only really knows her co-workers, because they work together. first post so i’m open to feedback. :)

Tossing and turning all night, Y/N couldn’t find a bit of peace. The day had been just like all the others. Wake up, get dressed, eat the same breakfast, catch the same 8 a.m. bus, clock in, clock out, ride the same seat on the way home, eat dinner, watch whatever show until you couldn’t keep your eyes open. You stuck to the plan. No eye contact, no lingering conversations, no openings for anyone to get curious. That’s just how it had to be. The fewer connections you had, the fewer risks. If no one knew really knew you, he couldn’t possibly find you. And yet… something was off. Chills through your body ever so often. Small movement in the corner of your room. You get up to move your portable fan away from them curtains to keep them from blowing but, but your body is still filled with paranoia. It was probably nothing. Hopefully nothing. But sleep still wouldn’t come.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Sitting up in the bed with sleep very much still present in your eyes, you let out a big sigh as you hit snooze on the alarm clock. Maybe just a few more minutes of sleep. You think as you lay back down, pulling your eye mask back down.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

You spring up cutting your head to the clock. 8:00 a.m. The instant feeling of panic was enough to make you practically fly to the bathroom, you manage to brush your teeth, style your hair, and at least moisturize your face and body because god knows time isn’t on your side to do your usual skin routine. You may not look as put together as you usually do but it’ll have to do, just like getting breakfast and lunch at work today as you realize you didn’t even step foot into your kitchen this morning. You really need this job, and ALL 8 hours for your check to be the same. So your shoe giving out as you run to the next bus stop really helps there be one more thing you have to pay for.

Fury’s Firm, 8:55 a.m

You make it just in time to clock in and grab a banana and water before heading to your desk. You can’t help but beat yourself up about almost being late today. What has gotten into you? Were you getting comfortable in this little town to where the plan that you vowed to stick to become less important? I mean, you have been here for 11 months, your one-year anniversary at this local business firm is coming u-

Y/N? You usually one of the first here, what happened? Couldn’t get any sleep?

Sam was nice. He’s a bit of a teaser, and you don’t really know how to react to the type of banter he’s into. When in conversation, he can talk the entire time without you saying much and still think it was a productive talk with you. He’s invited you to hangout with the co-workers every weekend, despite you turning them down every time. He wanted to make sure your felt included. You liked that. Now that you think about, your co-workers aren’t bad at all. Maybe you could hang out with them…just this once.

You smile at Sam, and then this turns into a light giggle, you actually want to tell Sam about the morning you’ve had. Before words could come out, your giggle turns into a frantic laugh. You absolutely could not believe it yourself.

Sam slides over to you and rest his hand on your shoulder, letting out a soft laugh to mask his discomfort, not wanting to leave you out to dry in front of your peers. Now that he thinks about it, he’s never really seen you like this before.

Are you alright, Y/N? Was it a rough morning?

Yes it was. You responded. You managed to pull yourself together and put a tight lipped smile for him. I just overslept, and everything went down hill after that. I realize now that I didn’t even step foot into my kitchen, because I was flying out of the door trying not to be late. I missed my usual bus, my shoe BROKE as I was running to the next one. And now I have to buy lunch since I didn’t bring mine.

A bit of silence was in the air, and you started to regret choosing to vent to your co-workers but a little chuckle erupted from Sam and everyone else, causing you even more anxiety. Were they making fun of you?

Oh Y/N, can’t you see a good thing when it’s right in front of you…you can finally come out of that shell of yours—you hermit, and join us for lunch. And maybe even drinks after work *wink wink*

You know what, hell yeah. You’ve never actually ate inside any of the local diners around, just ordered takeout and waiting 5 minutes over the estimated time they gave you in order to make sure you could just grab it and go. Little to no small talk.

You end up going for burgers with the group and finished your meals fast enough to play a bit of pool before it was time to clock back into work. You were a total pool shark. Acting all innocent and helpless, like you didn’t know the first think about pool but absolutely obliterating anyone who played against you. At least that’s what Sam said.

You didn’t end up going for drinks with them after work, but they all appreciated you engaging with them outside of the job. You were cool in their eyes.

Sylvie’s Threads, 6 p.m

Now that you think about it, you were going to have to get a new pair soon. You wore these pair damn near every day. You think about your bus that usually comes at 6:15 as you browse through the new selections Sylvie has put out. You don’t know how she does it…making so many custom shoes and clothes as quick as she does. You manage to find a nice sweater and two new pairs of shoes to checkout. Just as Sylvie comes out to ring you up, the bell goes off as someone comes into the store.

Welcome in! Let me know if you need any help.

You don’t quite recall looking back to see who it was, you had so much tunnel vision trying to make it to the bus stop in time.

The walk to your normal bus stop was brisk, you thought about how much you deviated from your normal plan today and gave yourself a mental reprimand to never do it again. But it was fun going out with your co-workers and experiencing eat in a diner. You can’t remember the last time you’ve done that. Music playing with communal chatter. It’s been a long time since you felt normal. Although you don’t love your shoes giving out, you got a cute sweater and two new pairs of shoes out of it. Could relaxing a bit really be that bad?

027 Rambeau’s Residence Apartments, 8 p.m

As you kick up your feet eating what was suppose to be your lunch today, you can’t help be feel just a tad fulfilled. You actually did something other than work. You actually interacted with other people for most of the day. You can’t help be think of that word again. Normal. You try not to dwell too much on your past but normal used to look very similar to today. Hanging out with people you could call friends, eating out even if it’s by yourself, and browsing for clothing even if it’s window shopping. That of course ended when you met him.

You were in college back then. He never spoke too much about himself, and his english wasn’t great but you expect that assuming he was a foreign exchange student. He looked a bit old to be a traditional college student but you didn’t judge. After all there’s no age limit on getting a degree. Russia seemed to be where he was from and in your opinion, it couldn’t have been an overall great experience. Things started to take a turn when you realized that he was always available to hang out when you had time between classes but he never had to be anywhere. Never. It’s sad how you lacked the awareness of how strange he was. His movements almost robotic. You just never had anyone show interest in you like he did. You always wonder was he using you to have a place to crash, a free meal here and there, and stolen kisses whenever he managed to slink into bed with you at night. It never went any further than that which you were grateful for because you weren’t sure if you were ready for any of that. Believe it or not, two decades into your life, the thought of romance happening to you seemed like a joke. You were scared that he’d disappear after you gave him yourself. But he actually became more and more glued to your being. Jealous seemed to rise in him when he couldn’t have you to himself. You couldn’t believe he could alienate you from your friends and wrap you into the consequences of his actions. He was expelled for beating Steve so bad over the simple fact he showed a bit of drunken interest in you and wrapped his arms around you. As quick as it was for you to feel warmth in his arms, it was just as quick to feel the lack-thereof in mere seconds. Loud gasps turn into screams once they realized the punches weren’t stopping. And to make matters worse it was with his prosthetic arm that he chose continuously pound Steve’s face with. Security managed to pull him off and out of the the bar, and you hoped that this scandal would only last a week tops. It lasted the rest of the Spring semester, which was incredibly slow for you as your friends cut you off for keeping him around. But what could you do? You told him you didn’t want to see him anymore. You told your friends this but you seem like a liar with him popping up wherever you managed to sneak off to. Having no one to talk to tainted your made you fall into this dark hole you couldn’t seem to get out of until you received a letter from the school. You were put on academic probation for failing all your courses that semester. This plummeted your GPA, resulting in all your scholarships being revoked. The only thing you could do was crawl into your bed and cry. You only had a week to figure out what you were going to do before you had to be out of your dorm. You had a bit of savings to put down a deposit for a nearby apartment but you asked yourself do you really want to stay in the town were you were the hot topic of gossip and probably would forever be.

So you chose to move a couple towns over to start a new. You just needed to find a job to start saving for school again. Your life was almost semi normal before he found you again. This time he’s on your hip every chance he gets. What irked you about yourself was that you let him in. You liked how he was calm, and whispered sweet nothings into your ear whenever you lounged together. You just didn’t want to be alone. But the cycle repeats its self and you found yourself uprooting with almost nothing into another state. You couldn’t let him blow up your life again. So he couldn’t find you this time. And he hasn’t for 11 months.

You toss and turn in your bed for the second night in a row. You groan out I just want to sleep, as you squeeze your eyes shut.

тогда позволь мне обнять тебя, моя любовь…

(then let me hold you, my love…)

#winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes #sam wilson #steve rogers #winter soldier fanfiction #marvel fanfic #bucky barns x reader #james buchanan barnes #winter soldier angst #bucky barns imagine #the winter soldier #the winter solider x reader #the winter solider imagine #how do you even tag #i’m new #marvel imagine

15 notes · View notes