crassjellyfish - Tumblr blog

[crassjellyfish]

rating ways to advertise the locked tomb

"lesbian necromancers in space": 5/10. technically true, except that gideon isn't a necromancer and for the most part they aren't in space. can also be tonally misleading; implies a fun space opera adventure and fails to mention the impending emotional devastation. that being said it is iconic and (mostly) effective

"murder mystery in a haunted gothic castle": 8/10. MUCH better at capturing the tone and plot of the first book, but still a little off. imagine picking up the book because of this blurb and then watching gideon nav make a mean girls reference in the first 20 pages. the whiplash could kill you

"a locked tomb mystery": 5/10. nondescriptive and a little misleading, but i can't give this any lower than a 5 because the pun is very good. gideon would love this one and that should count for something

"gay goth among us": 10/10. i'm not even going to pretend like this one doesn't nail it. try and argue against this. you can't. captures the murders, the space-y setting, the queer characters, the tone and aesthetic, AND the contemporary humor. chef's kiss

"enemies to lovers 'i hate everyone but you' slow burn": 1/10. true if you squint. the relationship between gideon and harrow would make booktok weep

"catholic homestuck": 9/10. this means nothing and explains everything

this tweet by tamsyn muir:

[Image ID: A tweet by "tamsyn should be writing" @tazmuir: "sure, I edited from 12 o'clock to 4.30, but how much of that time did I spend on the discovery that the basis of my novel is 'what if these two were... teenage girls'", followed by an image of Skeletor and He-Man. /end ID]

10/10. conveys the pop culture savvy of the series, the complex dynamic between the main characters, and the humor of the writing style all at once. also makes me laugh every time i think about it

[crassjellyfish]

As protests start ramping up and violence escalates please remember:

DO NOT PUT MILK IN YOUR EYES FOR PEPPER SPRAY OR TEAR GAS.

It can and will cause infection due to bacteria. Flush with water, distilled if possible, and never EVER wear contact lenses to protests where there may be police retaliation.

Please reblog. It may save someone's sight.

[crassjellyfish]

hey man I found a piece of your soul stuck in the text messages of old friends you don’t speak to anymore. do you want it back

[crassjellyfish]

"Bethesda/Todd Howard doesn't actually hate FNV 🙄"

They have stated the show is apparently 100% canon and they're using it to retcon the only good Fallout game to come out in decades. It wasn't even enough to ruin West Coast lore post-FNV, they're literally saying FNV never happened.

No wonder Pete Hines resigned back in October; even he thought this was stupid.

Bethesda haters stay correct. Anyone who somehow still had hope for this franchise despite the last ten years, now you can finally let go.

[crassjellyfish]

patreon | prints

[crassjellyfish]

overheard someone say “you know jensen ackles, from the boys?” and it fully made me stop in my tracks and stare in wide eyed wonder

[crassjellyfish]

This was how homestuck ended, right?

Happy hamsteak day

[crassjellyfish]

girls don’t want flowers for valentine’s, they want the heart shaped le creuset 💗

[crassjellyfish]

due to woke the hanged man tarot card is being replaced by the hung woman

[crassjellyfish]

The tumblr code originated on July 2, 2012.

You can check when you signed up for tumblr by looking at this post.

[crassjellyfish]

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

[crassjellyfish]

yada yada yada reblog for sample size

[crassjellyfish]

ok so. I've been thinking. what if leia's "thing" is that she's imperceptible in the force. like, she's so innately powerful at shielding, she's just not there. Anakin didn't know padme was having twins because he literally couldn't sense leia's presence. yoda and obi-wan were fine with bail taking leia because they couldn't perceive her thoughts, even as an infant. neither reva nor vader could penetrate her mind. she spent years in the senate alongside palpatine and he had no idea she was force sensitive. the only person who can see leia for who she really is is the one who has been there from the beginning — luke.

[crassjellyfish]

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

[crassjellyfish]

ⓘ A sewing machine is a device that provides a several-fold increase of the speed at which you can make mistakes

[crassjellyfish]

[crassjellyfish]

my parents, after all these years: hey so what’s the significance of 413?

me, the voice behind You Can’t Fight The Homestuck, which has hundreds of thousands of downloads and 4 million views on youtube: