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baby dragons whose scales are much more shiny and iridescent in order to hide in their parents' hoards

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It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed

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when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.

that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.

he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.

the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.

the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.

this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:

-in the chat-

bruce: status report.

dick: hungry :( but good!

steph: seconded, im fine

tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured

cass: ^ same answer

babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell

jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me

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I feel like some of you guys think "bad art" is like someone gluing rhinestones to a water melon, or a guy who made his own armchair out of Ohio license plates, or a trashy romance novel where someone says "the blue-eyed one kissed the brown-eyed one," when in reality bad art is a 1000000 Billion Dollar movie where none of the workers got paid and every single creative decision was market tested to see how lucrative of a profit it could foreseeably make to wow shareholders.

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My cat has always had the worst timing. He'll jump up on my desk to cuddle at the very moment I'm about to get up to urgently go to the bathroom. He'll try to curl up with me in bed the very instant I need to get up and refill my glass of water and put some vaseline on my dry, sore lips. He'll ask me to play just at the second I need to end my break and get back to work.

The poor guy, right? From his perspective, he approaches me for love and I immediately get up and leave. I feel awful about it. I try to reassure him first that I love him and he just has bad timing, but I know it can't feel nice, and also he's too big of a dumbass to understand that me getting up and walking away isn't triggered by him coming to say hi.

Except today I realized something: Yes. It is.

I was sitting at my desk watching a video and up jumps the boy with a mrrp, head positioned for pets, when I realized I urgently had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I opened my mouth to say "bad timing again, buddy," it finally occurred to me that... I definitely already had to go. I for sure did not "suddenly" have an urgent need for the toilet out of fucking nowhere.

I didn't realize I needed to go because my brain is piloted by angry gremlins and they were more interested in watching the video than letting me know about an important bodily function.

My cat coming to say hi is a regular trigger that pulls me back into my body from whatever bullshit I'm hyperfocusing on. And that's when I realize all the warning lights are flashing on the dash. Need water. Need food. Need toilet. In pain: need to change position. Holy shit look at the time, need to get back to work!

I now wonder how much worse I'd function if I didn't have a furry little guy in my apartment to regularly remind me that I exist in a physical form which requires maintenance and also that time passes.

I do still feel bad for walking away from him every time, but I have started just inviting him to come with me. Hey bud, sorry, I have to stand up right now, but come follow me while I get a glass of water. You coming? Come on! And rewarding him with pats for following. It's better than just walking away, I think.

Anyway cats (or other pet of your choice that requires frequent attention)? 10/10, strongly encourage having a little guy to bother you now and then, especially if you have ADHD and live alone.

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Jason is just a fun lil guy. He loves the thought of fucking around with his brothers like how normal siblings would. Playing extreme tag, making pillow forts, running around in stores with them. He loves the idea. But the bats don't know this because they don't ask. To them, Jason is a big brooding guy who has a moody reputation to keep. Why would he want to do silly little things with them?

So the batkids have all this fun with each other minus Jason, because they don't think he's like that sort of thing, and minus Damian, because he's not interested unless his big brother is there too.

One day, Tim wants to film a TikTok. He goes to Dick, but he's too busy. Dick jokingly says to just ask Jason, and Tim is like: "Yeah, alright." So he does.

Jason: *Reading on the couch in his safehouse*

Tim: *Climbs through window*

Jason:

Tim: "Can you make a TikTok with me?"

Jason, suspicious: "Why me? Don't you usually go to other people for that shit?"

Tim: "Is that a yes or no?"

Jason: "Well, if you want me to.. what is it?"

Tim, pleasantly surprised: "We're going to play rock paper scissors to battle for our food."

Jason: "What-"

Jason and Tim in a weirdly lit, empty parking lot

Tim: "Ok, ok, rock, paper, scissors, shoot" *Rock*

Jason, holding up scissors: "Fuck!" *Starts running like his life depends on it*

Tim: "Haha, ok-" *Starts eating some chicken nuggets* "Hell yeah, these are good."

Jason: "Stop stop stop I'm back-" *Rock*

Tim: *Paper*

Jason, running away: "SHIT!"

The video ends with Jason finally winning a round. He starts to shove as much food in his mouth as he can. Tim trips on his way back and Jason laughs so hard he spits everything out and starts to choke.

Tim goes to Jason to do dumb shit now, and Dick is concerned for the rest of the world, unsuspecting of his brothers' BS.

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its rude to reblog things from people you arent mutuals with fyi. :/

💀 my brother in christopher

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look me in the eyes dc and tell me a seventeen year old would make a good ceo

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Older sibling Canon event

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So… I had a random thought today while looking at some fanart.

In comics, it’s generally agreed that Jason Todd died on April 27. He came back to life approximately 6 months later. That would put it in late October.

We can make an argument he was resurrected on Halloween. You know, the day that the veil between life and death is the thinnest per folklore?

I’ll just leave you guys with that thought

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In my head, all the batkids are jaydick shippers and they fall into two camps:

Team Just Fuck About It

Duke: annoyed by all the mutual pining

Cass: burnt out from all the somatic empathy that gets overloaded whenever the two of them are together

Damian: struggling to be happy about this

Team They're IN LOVE Your Honor

Tim: this is gonna do numbers on the fan blogs

Steph: loves love and also wants to see Bruce have an aneurysm

Damian: ...he really does want them to be happy tho

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DNI lists on this website are fucking insane

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i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

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(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

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Well fucks? Get to it!