every time dick breaks up one of his brothers’ fights, he just flashbacks to when he tried to square up against a 13 year old and decides to send a gift basket to bruce
If the batkids had a podcast. Part. Xll
Nightwing: "How does it feel to be Batman"- You know that meme "I have no mouth and I must scream"?
Redhood: Wow- That bad??
Nightwing: No-Not really- It's just- You have a very set of limited things you can do as batman.
Nightwing: The fear is great though��� People look at you and run.
Redhood: (giggles) Uh-huh
Nightwing: But like- If /Nightwing. Go up to a Penguing gang meeting and shout "Well that's fishy" no one bats an eye.
Redhood: Because you're weird-
Nightwing: I'm not weird- Shut up-("you are" on the background) I'm not. If- If Robin says that-
Robin: I would never say that.
Red Robin: I would
Robin: Of course you wou-
Nightwing: Point is- If I say that, Or Robin say that or Red Robi- No one cares. You can do a double flip and call them a bitch, and that's it. Now if Batman say's that-
Red Robin: You have a problem.
Nightwing: You would have like seven drug dealers heavily armed staring at you horrofied in a empty parking lot.
Redhood: That Sounds awfully restricting.
Nightwing: Right? It was. But (pause) it was a kind of- I don't know. I kinda of a honor noneless. Would do the same again. If had to.
Nightwing: And people would– People would tweet "why the fuck batman is smiling so much this is terrifying"- And I would be like "well that doesn't add to the pressure at all"- (nervous laugh) Like- I'm trying my best guys- Please.
ramadan mubarak to all my fellow muslims from damian and alfred the cat
More alfred and baby bruce. Worlds littlest guys...
Happy Birthday Boy Wonder 💙💙💙🦇🎉
@coffinbirds got me thinking of blackbat!tim
thinking of things...bruce is the hardest to draw sigh
not a headcanon but a poll based on this post would be awesome
Say no more
Jason: Bruce really hates us.
Roy: Yeah, maybe he's homophobic.
Jason: We're not gay.
Roy: We're not?
Happy birthday to handsome boys 🎉🥳🎁
one of my fav relationship tropes is the death of hero worship
*Dick hangs up*
Duke: Uh oh. What's going on, B?
Bruce: Dick usually says "I love you" when we hang up. And then he sings it and then he whispers it. This time he just said, "gotta go, dad"
Cass: Well, maybe... He's gotta go?
Bruce: Yeah, maybe. It just feels like Dick hasn't been around as much lately. Last week, he only came to four out of seven breakfasts, and he missed bat-equitment maintenance day to, and I quote, "train with Wally." He didn't even come over to watch that other unrelated Wayne family on Family Feud.
Damian: Their performance was- survey says- disgraceful.
Bruce: I mean, I don't want to just throw around the D-word but...
Steph: *Gasp* Dracula disorder?
Bruce: Drifting. As in we're all drifting apart. This was my worry when Dick moved out to Blüdhaven, that we'd see him less and less. And then from there, who knows what would happen?
Jason: oh my god, is it me driving him away? I'm always pestering Dick with annoying questions like "How much do you think your arms weigh? Like if you took them off your body and weighed them separately?"
Tim: *gasp* it could be my fault. The other day, when Dick and I went to the movies, I got a small popcorn to share and he said, "I wish you'd gotten a medium."
Damian: well, I know it's not me. I'm amazing.
If the batkids had a podcast. Part. Xlll
Nightwing: Okay. Being Batman. So– There was this time–
Red Robin: Okay.
Nightwing: I was just out of patrol. Three broken ribs. Probably.
Redhood: As usual.
Nightwing: As usual.
Nightwing: Harley Quinn had. . . (sight) It was a whole thing.
Nightwing: So I got out of patrol–
Red Robin: Oh– (ugly laugh)
Nightwing: (giggles) I got out of patrol– And I was tired. It was three am. And there was– There was this big ass, human length mirror. . . And I look at it–
Redhood: You got jumpscared?!
Nightwing: I GOT– (wheeze) I got– I was tired.
Redhood: NOO– (laughs)
Nightwing: THIS BIG ASS BAT–
Red Robin: (literally crying)
Nightwing: Looking right back at me– And I– I missed my suit ˢᵒ ᵐᵘᶜʰ.
*The batkids are playing a team sport*
Damian: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Tim?
Jason: Have you ever played a game with Tim?
Jason: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine?
*Meanwhile, on the other side of the field*
Tim, chasing Dick: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!