randoparody · 2 days
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Local babysitter allows having vegan combo once
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spicy-apple-pie · 3 days
Damian has two modes
walks off excruciating pain because he's a big strong boy and is very capable father
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starts losing during a spar and drops dead
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Commission Info / Kofi
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ghost-bxrd · 2 days
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So… about that audio…
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Due to a miscommunication, Danny is mistaken for a High Ranking court of Owls member
Danny starts attending Gotham Academy for Reasons, and while there encounters one of the bat siblings. They (mistakenly or correctly your choice) clock him as a clone of Dick Grayson, and considering the Court of Owls has a Big Interest in Dick and some weird, cryptic statements from Danny the Bat Sibling 'realises' Danny is the courts answer to never having been able to get their Talon. BUT the Batfam isn't the only ones this miscommunication occurs with - somehow the entirety of Gotham academy is also now convinced Danny is a member of The Court, and Danny can't figure out why everyone is being very, very nice to him suddenly.
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pinsandcats · 3 days
"Father ngl you are not currently slaying"
Headcanon: Damian only learned formal english in the league but while he lives with the Batfam he is constantly picking up slang from Tim and Steph. So over time he starts to speak in a weird combination of slang and formal english. He walks in the room one day after Steph was injured on a mission and says: "I believe Stephanie has girlbossed too close to the sun." Tim is convinced he's on something and Bruce has to look up what a Girlboss is. Steph is so proud and Jason is cackling in the background
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incorrectbatfam · 12 hours
How funny would it be if I made the batfam even MORE incorrect in light of Tumblr selling data to AI
Imagine some sucker wants to generate something but gets Kpop girlie Bruce Wayne instead
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dragonpyre · 2 days
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Secret Robin au
Silver linings
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live-from-gotham · 2 days
who goes there?!
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if there’s one thing im going to do, it’s give dick and jason an accurate sibling relationship
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cosmicpoutine · 2 days
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he had a long night on patrol but came home to like 57 messages from his boyfriend
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lustwithoutlore · 3 days
Damian, walking into the Batcave: I require assistance.
Dick: Sure, Dami! What can I help you with?
Damian: Not from you.
Bruce, thinking: Damian... Damian needs... father's help? MY help?
Bruce, being way too fucking smug: Ah, well, Dick, don't be sad. Sometimes a boy just needs his father. How can I help you, son?
Damian: Not from you, either. I require assistance from Stephanie.
Stephanie: HA! SUCK IT, BRUCE!
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minnow-doodle-doo · 2 days
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The Oracle of Gotham, Unfinished
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batfamgalore · 2 days
*Dick wakes up to the Batbros in his kitchen*
Jason: Forks forks. No! You have one fork?
Dick: I’m one person.
Damian: That’s so weird.
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Horrible idea, but:
Jason getting reverse adopted back to the family by Tim, with neither of them knowing
We all know about Tim's fake uncle and him being desperate to not be adopted by Bruce.
We also know that the Batkids look close enough to be half siblings. (Yes, even Duke, although it's more in the way he acts.)
What I am proposing is that Tim hires Jason as his fake brother, not knowing that he is his Robin.
Jason agreed to use the proximity to manipulate/traumatize Tim into dropping Robin.
So Jason Todd became Jay Drake, illegitimate son of Jack Drake, born from their parents swinger days.
Now, things didn't go according to plan for both plans.
Tim had Jason in an throat cutting contract that chained him to a weirdly healthy daily routine.
(Tim: You have to eat breakfast and Dinner with me. Breakfast on weekdays is on 6:30 am and Dinner at 7:30 pm. We are to go on outings at least twice a week and spend one evening together playing boardgames or watching a movie. We are being watched, so don't even think of slacking of the role and steal from me. If you want to leave without anyone knowing, follow one of the tunnels in the basements-)
He also found himself go soft for the boy.
Even if everything was just played, it was hard for him not to break into his bedroom because he was crying after Bruce yelled at him or to not just scoop him up whenever he came home hurt.
Tim is in a similar boat. He keeps on forgetting that Jay isn't his actual brother and that he doesn't care about him outside of the money he pays him.
They are both stupid. Kinda.
(But not as stupid as Bruce, who actually believes their lie)
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not-another-robin · 10 hours
Pregnant Madam gives birth in the batmobile.
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Who could the father be.......
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bloopy-writes · 3 days
Damian being secretly upset when he outgrows Tim because he was the only one small enough for Tim to carry which made him feel special
And when Tim finds out he carries him around the batcave to prove little brother will never be too big to carry
(Tim ends up pulling a muscle and being bedridden the next day but he doesn’t tell anyone cuz it was worth it to see Damian smile)
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gffa · 2 days
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Help, baby Dick Grayson being THE MOST ADORABLE getting to meet Superman is killing me here.
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