crocophant

[crocophant]

Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.

The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game...

So the first picture is this:

Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious

I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game

[crocophant]

man remember in origins and inquisition when you could go to your lover and give them a lil kissy just because you wanted to. why did veilguard walk that back. yes i'm still thinking about this. yes i take psychic damage every time.

[crocophant]

kyaaaa I'm late to vampire school *runs out while holding a dude by the neck in my mouth*

[crocophant]

imagine being a parent in the 70s and when u turn on the tv all of a sudden the guy you heard singing about porn a few years ago is teaching ur kid about adverbs...life is beautiful ♥️

[crocophant]

noted mathematician and occasional humourist tom lehrer

[crocophant]

I need everyone to learn about my favourite math prodigy / musical satirist / inventor of the jello shot

TOM LEHRER

King

You can download the lyrics, sheet music and recordings for free on his site here

[crocophant]

i was having a reasonably good day before i found out that tom lehrer fucking died

so here, have another song in his memory while i process that

[crocophant]

#TextileTuesday:

“Border fragment of wool with a continuous band of #hummingbirds and fringelike appendages representing beans. Early Nasca [Nazca, Peru, c.1-450 CE]. Pollination of bean plants by birds may be suggested here. Border was formed using a needle-knit stemstitch.”

On display at American Museum of Natural History [41.2/6321]

[crocophant]

andrew bridgman = the undisputed champion of birthday texts

[crocophant]

Me: What the fuck. David Corenswet is Superman. The guy who built Star Wars Legos with my brother when they were 14. I knew he had an acting career, he did theater and commercials back then and he was in some Netflix stuff, but Superman?

Husband: congratulations, you are having the authentic experience of being Clark Kent's coworker

[crocophant]

Choose one

[crocophant]

Very important addition, thank you very much

moodboard for when @clarissaexplainingitall thinks i might not want to see a video of the Beasts

[crocophant]

moodboard for when @clarissaexplainingitall thinks i might not want to see a video of the Beasts

[crocophant]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[crocophant]

Waking up from your decade long enchanted sleep to learn that, not only is sharing your True Name with the fae okay now, but there's actually a rule against using a false name when entering the faerie market.

Your friends admit that this causes some problems— it's way easier to fall victim to a false deal, or get stolen away now— but everyone goes to the fae market to buy their goods so what are you gonna do? Not see your friends? Go out of your way to buy more expensive stuff from the human market? Yeah right.

Also yes they still perform their light-footed fluttering dances under the silvery light of the full moon, but in order to get in you have to first watch the dancers perform two short plays about why you should shop at certain local businesses. Also if you want to talk about the performance afterwards then you need to trade them your True Name, your home address, your date of birth and your personal interests.

You do this so that the fae can this information on a scroll and give it to local business owners.

Another part of the deal they broke is that nobody may talk negatively about those businesses within the market walls. In fact, your friends say, the enchantment is so effective that it's very difficult to talk negatively about anything at all.

“I know it sounds un-good,” your friend admits. “But there are loopholes.”

“In retrospect,” another friend says, “I wish the town had voted un-yes to teaching the fae about money.”

“On the plus side,” the first friend says, “I hear the market is investing in one of those enchanted statues that responds to questions with deliberately ambiguous riddles, so long as you trade it your memories of secondary school.”

“Oh, cool. Is that why they're burning down the library?”

You wonder if it's too late to go back to sleep.

[crocophant]

My favourite bookstore in Dublin has decided to employ a rather novel deterrent for shoplifting

[crocophant]

mark your calendars...

display at my local library!!