crypticmushroom

[crypticmushroom]

WANTED

Looking for reputable lobotomists so i can actually work on my wips and not get distracted with stuff like this! Someone drill a hole in my skull so i can get some breathing room here! Or a manager!

Anyway i was pulling up my computer and my eye caught the small loz decal and my brain assaulted me with Gravity falls loz crossover because i get NO PEACE around here.

Bills Ganondorf for obvious reasons, holding the triforce of power.

Fiddleford's Princess Zelda, has the tirforce of wisdom.

And Fords Link! He wields the triforce of courage! He's here to be a hero and save the day!

Much like loz botw Ford got discovered early as the wielder of the triforce. He's thrust into lessons, and although he can wield a sword his actual talent comes from the arcane, learning spells. Which would be great! Except the Master sword is a sword, he needs to know how to use it? Whatever, they're in a time of peace, they might not even need the hero! And Prince Fiddleford can't really wield the triforce of wisdom effectively either, they'll learn together as they grow!

Enter Bill, the palaces newest advisor and reincarnation of evil. No one knows he has the triforce of power or plans to overthrow the kingdom with an army of monsters. Prince Fiddleford is suspicious of him but not for any tangible reason he can use to get him kicked out, and his paranoid and fearful nature makes everyone roll their eyes and dismiss his worries. Meanwhile Ford's absolutely charmed by the one adult who doesn't push for Ford to learn how to wield a sword and encourages his scientific curiosity. Bill covers for him so he can go run off in the woods and study creatures, says his swordsmanship is already decent enough, and they get along so well! Bill and the prince are Fords very good friends in the castle and its a time of peace and lifes good!

Then Bill strikes. He's finally, finally gotten to a point in the cycle of reincarnation where he can take out the prince and hero in one swoop. Prince Fiddleford is locked away and the hero is chained in the castle basement, there's no one who can stop Bill now! He's finally spit in the goddesses eyes and won! The ultimate demon king right here!

Except Stan is also still here.

Stan is Fords near identical twin brother, the one that some people wished was the hero except his personality is.. hmm. Their entire life everyone's moaned that maybe Ford inherited the heros spirit but Stan took the hero's skill. He's great with a sword, strong, but not willing to stick his neck out for others and has criminal tendencies he can't hide as well as Ford (and are generally more malicious. Fords mischievous in his own right but likes to appear to be law abiding). They were really close when they were younger but over the years everyone comparing them to each other drove a wedge between them, Ford hating that Stan's the better swordsman and Stan hating that everyone puts him down as the dumb twin who must have stolen Fords talent in the womb. Gets worse as they grew older and Ford finally started bulking up, slowly reaching then surpassing Stan's skill. Now Stan really is the extra twin here, unwanted and unneeded. Fords living it up in the castle and no one even realizes Stan's left to wander around the kingdom and try to find purpose in life as the hero's brother. Can't get a job because people keep going 'oh the hero! no wait, its you :/' and he hates it. Secludes himself in the woods and hangs out with the fairies and gets mopey that no one even tried to look for him (Ford noticed Stan left, but at that point their relationship was so strained he figured Stan was finally off to start his criminal life and drag Fords reputation through the mud. Which he sort of did but mostly on accident).

Bill is only sort of aware Stan exists but has no interest in him as he's not a person of prophecy. Does nothing to stop him when Stan realizes whats happened and goes on an Epic Quest to save the kingdom (which is really an Epic Quest to save Ford and maybe rub it in his face, and the kingdom just so happens to be a byproduct of that). Stan's not the Hero, but through doing the Heros Quest sorta becomes one a la Windwaker. He goes to the temples, gets the different artifacts, and since he and Ford are identical rumors spread that Ford is out there, fighting off Bill and here to save the day!

Which leads to Bill checking up on Ford chained in the basement far too often to make sure he didn't somehow escape the last ten times he checked. Like thats Ford right there, chained up and growling, so who's this other guy slaughtering Bill's demon henchmen and gathering the power to end Bill? Not Stan, that guys not worth anything, so maybe... Fords ghost? Is he astral projecting through sheer rage or something, whats happening here?

Anyway Stan finally gets to the point where he can get through the forest and retrieve the Master Sword except, for all his heroic actions, he's still not the Hero. He can't pull the sword that seals the darkness, he can't use it to save Ford.

Fine. He'll just make a new sword. The.. SUPREME Master Sword (similar to ww phantom hourglass if i remember correctly) . Take that Goddesses! Stan's not gonna quit because a sword doesn't like him or something! New quest time! He's gonna travel to the most obscure cursed and abandoned places and get the rarest mystical materials to take down Bill and finally prove he's more than the spare hero. Now he just needs to find someone to put everything together to make the sword that mega seals the darkness.

Well, Prince Fiddleford is a known inventor and smart guy, Stan was raised with the skinny nerd and watched him bring all kinds of things to life. All Stan has to do is rescue him, shove the materials into his hands, and BAM! New super weapon created and he can go take on Bill and save Ford and everyone will finally start mistaking Ford for him! Hah!

Saves Fiddleford from wherever Bill had him locked up to find the Prince insane from repeatedly wiping his mind because he couldn't handle the Horrors. Alright. Alright! Whatever! Stan can handle this! He's already cleared a million temples and run around the kingdom so much he has every rock memorized! Whats one more epic quest to restore the prince's lost mind!

So he does that, and then there's a heartwarming moment where Fiddleford is finally sane, reaches out to thank Stan, and ruins the moment by calling him Ford. The punch to the face is very deserved, they both agree.

But now Fiddlefords back to himself and cant take all of Stan's pocket stuff and make cooler stuff out of it. Fiddleford agrees, because Stan did save his life and help return his sanity, but spends the whole time asking why Stan doesn't just go and rescue Ford directly so Ford can draw the Master Sword and take down Bill? Thats sorta his whole thing? Stan's stubborn though, and at this point he's spent too long doing all the heavy lifting he's not gonna let Ford steal the show. Stan's gonna save the day and then people will finally see him for himself (and Ford will say thank you, and they'll be brothers, fighting off the remaining demon hoard and doing cool combo moves and it'll be great).

Yada yada, stuff happens, Stan takes his new cool Supreme Master Sword (Its not called that Stanley! Its the Sword that Cuts the Darkness and there's downsides Stanley! Stanley stop running off and ignoring my warnings!(unsure what the swords actual name is here. Maybe the Champions Sword (reference boxer Stan)? The Chosen Sword (have to chose to weld it)? The Ultimate Sword (for ultimate sacrifice)? Who knows.) to the castle to confront Bill and save the day, rescue Ford, be a hero, not the spare!

Except Bill's not there, Ford is, Stan does rescue him, but Ford is not happy to see Stan. He's furious.

Going through the temples is Fords job. Saving the day and being theHhero is the reason he was born, and Stan going around doing it meant Bill was taking his anger out on Ford, rubbing in the fact that maybe they were wrong and Stan was the hero all along, huh! Turns out Fords not the hero, he's the guy who stole the triforce of courage in the womb! He's the spare!

Fords been hearing this on repeat for however long this has been happening. Storms off to do the actual heroes journey as the actual Hero and makes himself even more furious at all the completed temples and the fact he can't find the hidden passages and defeat the monsters because Stan's already done it. Gets his blessings or whatever, stomps over to the Deku tree, pulls the sword, and goes off to find Fiddleford so the two of them can complete the prophecy and save the day. Even angrier when he finds Fiddleford already rescued (Stan really is stealing his life here, and if he's not the hero than who is he? What was this all for?). But Fiddleford is happy to see him at least! His old friend, and together they can-

Ah. Fiddleford wants to go after Stanley. Cool. Cool. WHY!

Turns out Stans Super Mega Master Sword (which existence infuriates Ford further) is made of super rare materials and blessed by the goddesses. Its the Sword that can Cut through the Darkness, and as long as someone has the spirits blessings they can wield it. Good thing Stan got all that when he did all those temples huh? So whats the problem asks Ford?

The problem is that Stan is not a hero or someone protected by fate and reincarnation. He does not have any part of the triforce like WW Link. He's impressed the goddesses and spirits with his tenacity and ability to do what only the hero should do, but is still not the Hero, and if he uses that sword to take down Bill its a literal double edged sword. He'll slay the darkness and take himself out with it. Probably. Fiddlefords a little unsure on the details because he was possessed a little when he made it but something bad will happen for sure.

Well Fords angry at Stan but not so angry he wants his brother to kill himself doing Fords job. Its a rush to track them both down and of course Ford and Fiddleford show up mid battle, both demon king and Stan looking rough but still in it to win.

Only part i'm unsure of is how it'd all end. Does Ford swoop in and deal the final blow? Sealing Bill and then turning to yell at Stan for ignoring warnings and almost killing himself? Does Fiddleford get in the final strike, preventing the brothers fighting from costing them the battle? Does Stan strike Bill down, and either dies with him, gets his mind wiped as the cost for finally defeating evil, become the new vessel for evil (cutting it out of Bill and it latching onto him?), maybe dies and becomes the sword spirit, maybe the price is Stan being unable to wield a sword again, maybe Stan disappears in a flash of light and now Ford has to save him? Endless possibilities, and in the end Stan was never the hero for the right reasons, and he wasn't the Hero but he was the hero who saved the kingdom.

Now i'm kicking this thing out so i can get some actual work done around here.

[crypticmushroom]

Au where when Stan goes to Ford’s house after the postcard, he has a concussion so when Ford checks his eyes the pupils are mismatched and Ford is like wtf and has to treat Stan while he wonders when exactly he got the concussion and if it was in New Mexico, how the heck did he drive all the way to Oregon while concussed

Oh man its one of my FAVORITE flavors of Gravity Falls AUs, where either Stan is fucked up or Ford is fucked up and they dont fight as much when Stan arrives.

Imagine youre Stan. Right, you're living a kinda shit life, not that anyone cares, and occasionally you get the shit beaten out of you for reasons that usually aren't ENTIRELY your fault. You've had more head trauma than is certainly healthy, you've lost an organ (or maybe two) past what's considered normal, and you've lived in your car for so long that if you told anyone that they'd look at you with pity, not that you'd want that. Life's not GREAT, but hey, you woke up the morning after you got hit in the back of the head with a crowbar and you can still count to five, so that's not so bad!

And then a postcard arrives. It's your brother, and judging by the fact that he's writing in that rushed blocky handwriting you only remember as the style he writes in while sleep deprived and stressed, you understand he's in deep shit.

Well. Fuck. Because so are you.

But YOUR type of deep shit (massive head trauma, malnourishment and withdrawals) is nothing compared to HIS type of deep shit (how bad does it have to be for him to call YOU?!) so you back your shit, kiss the roach infested motel room goodbye, and start operating heavy machinery to get to Oregon. (Which you KNOW you aren't supposed to do.)

As you snap back to actual consciousness for the sixth time in a row (WHILE DRIVING) you understand that maybe driving under the influence of a metal stick to the brain might not be the best idea. In fact its a bad idea. There's nothing more youd like than to pull over and just wait it out.

But Ford called you. And possible tramatic brain injury or not, you'll go.

Besides. Its not like Ford's gonna KNOW. The nerd is unobservant about people on a good day, and FORD, asking for HELP? The nerd is probably so wired on stress alone that he's not even gonna notice until the concussion has faded to a manageable level (or whatever problem Ford's calling you to fix is fixed) either way, it'll be fine.

And then your brother opens the door and shoves an honest to god CROSSBOW in your face, because apparently thats how he answers the door nowadays. Great. And THEN, because the Universe thinks this situation is hilarious and likes to fuck with YOU specifically, Ford drags you inside by the front of your sweatshirt and shines a flashlight DIRECTLY into your eyes.

One eye. Then the other. At first Ford starts to loosen his grip, and then all of a sudden the light comes right the hell back (Those are your EYES goddamnit Ford, that's too bright-) and even more intensive.

You can't actually SEE, but you can feel it in the air when Ford goes deathly still, going back and forth shining a light between one of your eyes and then the other one. Ow. You can't actually pull away, because your legs are a little weak, head trauma really just-oh. Right.

Ford's face looks very serious, and very concerned. Shit.

Imagine you are Stanford Pines. Paranormal Researcher turned horror movie main character, you haven't slept in days, haven't had anything but coffee in probably longer than that, and as a last resort, that final safety net, you send a postcard to your brother to help you with your little demon problem.

He shows up faster than you might have thought. It's been two days since you sent the postcard (granted you did send it via magical mailbox) but still, its a welcome sight.

You check your brother's eyes before he comes in. Its a safety procedure, and its perfectly normal in context, which is not something you'd share with your twin.

One eye, perfectly round pupil, the same solid brown as it's ever been. The other eye, brown, pupil tiny in the sea of Stan's eye.

Great, outstanding, not a single hint of yellow in either one, No Bill.

Wait.

You check again. Brown, brown. Something is wrong with this picture.

It takes you an embarrassingly long moment to realize Stan's eyes are different sizes. One is blown up wide, the other a pinprick.

That's not normal.

You were never one for medical research. It's certainly interesting, but nothing is as fascinating to you as weirdness. But everyone knows, or everyone should know, that someone with different sized pupils who doesn't NORMALLY have different sized pupils, is probably under the duress of a medical condition.

You tell your brother to smile. Its a common question to a possible stroke victim.

Stan does, wide and yet utterly confused, and he's missing a canine. You file that away for later.

Not a stroke. Probably a concussion. You drag your brother further into your house and as you do you realize he's walking funny, unbalanced and dizzy, and while his words dont slur you can hear that he sounds bad.

You remember that he DROVE to get here. Your brother does not look capable of driving.

He does not look capable of driving. He does not look alert enough to take your journal and get on a boat going anywhere. He does not look currently capable enough to stand on his own, let alone leave again.

Brain injuries are very serious. Your BROTHER'S brain injury is more serious to you than your current situation. You can't find yourself to actually be upset about that, especially with the knowledge that when you tell Stan he has a concussion, he waves it off.

When you tell him he shouldn't be driving, he asks you how else he was supposed to come help.

You lock the journal in a kitchen cabinet. You put the key into the toaster. Bill has problems with fine motor skills. He won't be able to fish it out properly.

You need to deal with this first.

That night, neither of you sleep.

[crypticmushroom]

What can I say lol, great angst writers think alike.

I feel like at the beginning Stan would definitely call Ford with a hospital phone, then when he gets a bit of his more negative memories he would call him from phone booths after escaping from the hospital. Definitely think that Ford would find out about how bad Stan is doing from a nurse calling about how Stan ran away with like 2 broken ribs and a very serious concussion. Which is when Ford finally tries to find Stan, who at this point has given up on getting his brother to talk to him.

It's been like what 2 months since stan tried to call ford, but the guy doesnt talk back. Well he did that one time but all he said was " You call me after 8 years and it's to catch up, I'm done with your shenanigans ,stanley" and ends the call. Who does that.

Well he didn't remember himself but after seeing that interview stan realized that guy looks like me . And then the memories start to flood in. He remembers he has a brother and how close they were and he is some how connected to the Mexican mafia(dont ask he is confused himself).

And cue in stanford who still is bitter about how stan didn't call for 8 years the science fair project.

Or

(Stan has a memory loss and tries his hard to reconnect with ford because why wouldnt he, he's his brother of course. And doesn't remember the incident . ford doesnt realize the sudden love hes getting after years of radio silence and is considerably confused angry )

[crypticmushroom]

It's been like what 2 months since stan tried to call ford, but the guy doesnt talk back. Well he did that one time but all he said was " You call me after 8 years and it's to catch up, I'm done with your shenanigans ,stanley" and ends the call. Who does that.

Well he didn't remember himself but after seeing that interview stan realized that guy looks like me . And then the memories start to flood in. He remembers he has a brother and how close they were and he is some how connected to the Mexican mafia(dont ask he is confused himself).

And cue in stanford who still is bitter about how stan didn't call for 8 years the science fair project.

Or

(Stan has a memory loss and tries his hard to reconnect with ford because why wouldnt he, he's his brother of course. And doesn't remember the incident . ford doesnt realize the sudden love hes getting after years of radio silence and is considerably confused angry )

[crypticmushroom]

Mabels' favourite month is pride month because she gets to make merch for everyone

[crypticmushroom]

Ugly coat Ford, you should get rid of it.

[crypticmushroom]

I've been thinking of writing a fic of all the ways Stanley Pines nearly died and was wondering if anyone would like to collaborate on this (can be stangst or comedic near deaths and Stan can be aware or not that he nearly died)

Like anyone who's interested could write one chapter each? 👉👈 and then at the end I'd upload it all together (with credits ofc!)

Either way I'm probably going to write this fic but I just wanted to know if anyone would like to play- I mean- write together (꜆꜄ᴗ͈﹏ᴗ͈)꜆꜄꜆

[crypticmushroom]

Unfortunate events leading to a SirenStan

Peeps should go check out @aroace-get-out-of-my-face Murstan AU! It's fantastic!

[crypticmushroom]

@dark-lord-of-awesomeness's venus vampire trap au is very very fun

[crypticmushroom]

Here's some Ford pov to go with the ice cream scene :)

Ford frowned at Stan's whimpering form through the bars of the cage. His brother was being very stubborn about the vampire thing, but it still hurt his heart to see him sweating and groaning, a strange parody of a normal vampires descent into a blood rage. He hadn't thought about what interrupting Stan mid meal would mean for his brothers hunger until they'd locked him up in their current makeshift safe house for a day and he started heating up.

All the other vampires he'd encountered were the exact opposite, becoming more and more corpse like the longer they waited between feedings. Skin clammy, cold, and chest still. Not Stan, he'd started sweating on the second day, skin getting more flush before paling from lack of blood. He kept moving, turning so he'd get more of his skin exposed to the cold air.

But he refused to feed from any of the blood bags the local hospital had... donated. He'd only get worse from here, and his denial about his true nature wasn't helping.

"Emma-May," he called, grabbing the muzzle he'd been adjusting, "I'll need your help putting this on, make sure he doesn't lunge."

Fiddleford muttered something, but Ford ignored him. His friend wasn't happy about keeping Stan alive, not with the risk his strain of vampirism posed. A type that had no known weakness they could find, that could blend in perfectly with humans, undetectable by normal means. The moment Stan realized the truth, the blood bath he could create if he escaped would be unstoppable, especially if he started turning others.

But Ford couldn't kill him. Not if there was a chance he could cure Stan, fix what Ford had unintentionally broken. The vampire plague was his fault after all, it was his job to set it to rights.

"Gotta find you a good shrink," Stan muttered, blinking brown eyes up at him, feverish and unfocused, "get your head screwed back on."

Emma-May helped Ford with the muzzle, holding Stan down while Ford attached it to his head. She might as well not have bothered, as he didn't do more than groan and roll his eyes at the treatment.

"Vampires are real," Ford said with a sigh, "and I'd like not to be turned by my own brother."

Stan grumbled, then closed his eyes. He hissed when Ford put his hand to his forehead, pulling away with a groan. Ford frowned back. Whatever strain this was, they had to figure out how to feed Stan before he lost it and either attempted to feed on one of them or died of starvation.

"Anything?" Ford asked, a few days later and sitting by Stan's feverish side. He'd stopped sweating, and his veins were now visible, thick and blue despite the slow beating of his heart. Other vampires went black, making this another point of difference between Stan and the rest of the undead legion.

It was giving him a headache, trying to figure out why.

"Nothing," Fiddleford muttered, typing away at his portable computer. They'd uploaded any and all texts on vampires they'd found the last year and organized it for other hunters to access, making a digital archive. Every other month or so they'd head back to Fords house (or the last stronghold , as the others had started calling it(only Ford(only privately))) and update it with anything new they'd been able to find.

Unfortunately none of Stan's traits combined into any kind of vampire they'd been able to find. They were either dealing with something incredibly obscure, or a whole new mutated strain entirely. Neither was ideal, but at least an obscure vampire bloodline would have something about how to get Stan to feed.

"We'll have to move him then, to the nearest safe house." Ford muttered, turning back to look at his brother, "maybe set up an IV."

"The others won't be too happy about that. That's why we set this up."

"I know. But I can't let him die, not when it's my fault he's like this."

"Stanford..." Fiddleford sighed, and a moment later the sound of typing resumed.

That was good. He was tired of others trying to convince him he wasn't to blame for every horror inflicted on the world by Bill. He was the one that freed the vampire after all, the one who trusted his heavy flattery and was too weak willed to fight off his hypnotism afterwards until it was too late to do anything.

Thankfully he'd found others to help fight against the rising tide of undead. There weren't many, and Ford warned each one of the horrors they'd be facing, and trained them the best he could under the circumstances, but it was better than the first two months when it had been him alone.

Stan whined again, distracting Ford from his thoughts. He frowned, then replaced the cloth on his forehead. They'd tried every method he could think of to get Stan to drink, short of cutting open his own wrist.

If it got any worse, he'd be tempted to try. He couldn't lose Stan, not after learning he already had.

Ford cursed as he unlocked the cage. This safe house hadn't been intended to house them long term and lacked the defenses they'd usually set up. None of them had noticed the small party of vampires until Emma-May was shouting and Fiddleford was scrambling to the basement. They weren't at their best either, too many sleepless nights trying to stabilize Stan while silently preparing for when whatever control he had finally snapped.

"Stanley!" Ford shouted, yanking the door open. Stan groaned softly, dead weight in Fords arms as he dragged him out of the cage. Fiddleford was hiding behind a tipped over table, crossbow shaking in his hands.

"Stanford-"

And then the door broke down, and all hell broke loose.

Ford snarled at the vampire as they rolled across the floor. Emma-May was trying to handle the other three the best she could, but Fiddleford was no front line fighter, and with Ford dealing with their hard hitter (which he'd dubbed Heavy), she'd have to make do.

Which she did remarkably well, until Fiddleford screamed and the vampire holding him yelled "freeze or I'll tear his throat out!"

Ford didn't dare, not with how the only thing stopping the vampire on top of him from crushing him into the ground was the silver lining his coat and his arms pushing it away. It didn't keep its hands off of him, but it did prevent it from pressing its weight on top fully. From the corner of his eye he saw Emma-May underneath the other two, one on each side of her and shoving her down.

"Well, what do we have here!" Ford turned slightly to see the last vampire holding Fiddleford with one arm, wrapping it around his friends neck while he whimpered. The other was holding Stan's face, gripping it tightly and lifting him off the floor. Stan's eyes flickered from the treatment, and he let out a low groan.

"Leave him alone!" Ford shouted, trying to squirm out from under the vampire pinning him down, "This is between you and me!"

"I don't think so," The vampire holding Fiddleford said. He had dark blood dripping down his temple from where Emma-May had slammed a crossbow into it near the beggining of the fight, and Ford mentally dubbed him Concussion.

"See," Concussion drawled, letting go of Stan and running a finger along Fiddlefords chin, "Lord Cipher was very displeased to learn you didn't get your present, even more so when he learned it wandered off on its own. He'll be pleased to hear you found it. But look!"

Concussion, grabbed the muzzle around Stan's mouth, one finger trailing the lines on his face.

"Its starving! Now that just won't do! A gift from Lord Cipher deserves only the best care, don't you agree Pines?"

Before Ford could object, Concussion ripped the muzzle off his brother, threw it aside, then used its newly freed hand and raked its claws along Fiddlefords arm. His friend screamed in pain, while he and Emma-May yelled in outrage. The other vampires breathed deeply, eyes lazer focused on the blood dripping onto the floor.

"Just breathe it in," Concussion said, taking a few steps back so Stan could push himself up and shake his head, "Really gets your heart pumping, doesn't it?"

"Stanley!" Ford shouted, just as Stan opened his eyes for the first time in two days. Gone was the warm brown of their childhood, replaced by two golden irises that glowed, just like they had when Ford had first stumbled upon his brother in that dark alley.

But that wasn't all. The whites of his eyes had turned a deep red, his pupils the barest of pricks. They blinked as Stan lifted his head, taking a deep breath through his nose, then opening his mouth.

As Ford watched, six fangs exposed themselves, glistening in the light of the basement. His brother scanned the basement, panting heavily, until his eyes landed on Fiddleford. His pupils disappeared entirly, focused on the easy meal in front of him.

"Stanley!" Ford yelled again, trying to throw Heavy off of him, Emma-May screamed from across the room, the floor muffling her shouts, "Stanley, listen! Don't- Stanley!"

Between one blink and the next Stan was gone, reappearing in frond of Fiddleford in a burst of speed far outstripping that of any vampire he'd seen (except one). He watched in horror as Stan grabbed Fiddleford by the front of his shirt (silver doing nothing to stop him), ripped him out of Concussion's arms-

then threw him to the ground.

Everyone froze, even the vampires, as Stan grabbed Concussions head, jerked it to the side, then bit its neck. Concussion screamed, writhing, until Stan pulled it closer and bit harder. It went limp as dark blood started to slowly make its way down its chest and drip on the ground, leaning its weight on Stan as it got paler and paler. The blue veins started to fade as Stan drank, then cut through the silence with a deep rumbling sound.

Like a purr.

Ford could see Concussions panicked eyes, see its mouth trying to move, before it stopped twitching completely. Stan let go a moment later, and the body crumpled, skin shrivled and starting to crack.

No one moved as Stan sniffed the air again, licking the blood off his lips, then turned to face the rest of the room. His face was covered in blood, the veins less noticeable but still prominent, and his eyes still gold on red. He turned to the two on top of Emma-May, and between one blink and the next he was ripping one of them off of her. Just like Concussion, he bit hard into its neck.

Unlike Concussion, he let go, the vampire collapsing at his feet as he turned to grab the other one before it could scramble away. He jerked its head to the side and bit into its neck, this time holding it close and drinking it dry. Just like Concussion, it's paniked eyes flicked around the room, its body twitched, getting paler and paler, until it stopped completely, skin dry and crumbling as Stan dropped it.

Emma-May had taken the chance to crawl over to Fiddleford, both of them pressed against the bars of the cage as they watched Stan lean down to grab the vampire on the floor.

It hadn't moved from where he'd dropped it. Not from lack of trying, but whatever Stan had done had made its limbs a stiff mess, making it unable to do more than twitch on the ground and make a high pitched keening noise. It whimpered as Stan lifted it up and cradled it in his arms, then gasped as Stan bit into its neck, draining it until it was just as dry as the first two.

By the time he was done the blue veins had disappeared, and his skin was back to a healthy, living tint. Ford watched him turn to face Heavy, the vampire still pinning Ford to the ground and frozen in fear. His brothers eyes were still gold and red, and they blinked lazily as he licked his lips and studied them.

"Ssssssssoundssss ssssso nicce," he said, his voice, slurred and rumbly from the dying purr in his chest. Then he did something strange. Instead of lunging and grabbing Heavy like he'd done with the rest, he stood there, slightly sweaty and tilted his neck. The air seemed to get heavier, and Ford wrinkled his nose as a metalic smell begam to flood the room.

A moment later he had to scramble to catch his balance as Heavy pulled itself off of him. It stood up straight, and even from here Ford could see the dazed look in its eyes, before it stumbled forwards towards Stan. Stan didn't move as it got closer, just kept watching it, until they were face to face over the bodies of his other two meals.

Heavy slowly grabbed the side of Stan's head, then leaned down, mouth open. Stan did nothing to stop the movement, just stood there until Heavys mouth began to close in his neck.

Ford let out a strangled shout, flipping over to get up and jump the vampire while it's back was turned.

In an instant his hands were clutching Heavy's shoulders, and his teeth were digging into its neck. The vampire gasped, then yelled and tried to pull away, grabbing at Stan's hood and pulling. Stan just bit harder, until something crunched and Heavy went limp.

But Stan pounced first.

Then he started to drain it, hands moving to hold Heavy's weight as the vampire slumped in his hold.

Ford stood slowly, keeping his eyes locked on his brother. He didn't seem to notice, eyes half lidded and unfocused as Ford made his away around the room until he was in front of Fiddleford. He exchanged glances with Emma-May, neither of them saying a word, and she nodded at her husband, then moved around the room to get at Concussions disintegrating body, and conveniently flanking Stan.

Ford kept his eyes locked on Stan, watching as he drained the vampire dry of everything it had. It was only when its skin started to crumble like the others that Stan let go, dropping the body and watching the skin crack.

Ford tensed as Stan twitched, then looked around the room until his eyes met Fords. They slid past him towards Fiddleford, flickered over the still bleeding wound on the mans arm, then-

-away. Stan turned to look at Emma-May, then looked back at Ford, licking this lips and smearing blood all over himself. He took a stumbling step forwards, and Ford tensed, ready for anything.

Except for what happened.

Instead of lunging, or fleeing, or any of the dozens of normal behaviors for a vampire at the end of a blood craze, Stan smiled. The gold and red in his eyes faded with each step towards him, until they were nose to nose and back to their human brown.

Then Stan pitched forwards, resting his head on Fords shoulder, and rubbed his blood soaked face into Fords neck. He froze, heart thudding in his chest as he watched Stan from the corner of his eye. Emma-May started to approach, and he shook his head slightly.

He had a theory, and he trusted Stan enough to test it out.

Just as he thought, Stan surprised him again. Instead of biting into the healthy human neck in front of him, he did something completely unexpected.

"Thanks," Stan whispered, fangs already disappearing, "For sharing."

Ford didn't have time to comprehend what Stan just said before his twin opened his mouth in a wide yawn, exposing his human looking teeth. He pulled away and rubbed at his eyes, then looked around the room.

Ford didn't stop him as he shuffled past him into the cage, just watched with the others as Stan walked through the still open door, grabbed the blanket he'd been kicking off for the past week, wrapped it around his shoulders, and threw himself into the cot. A moment later he was snoring, falling into a food coma after stuffing himself.

"I think," Ford said, reaching up to wipe at the cold blood smeared across his neck, "That we're fine."

"Fascinating," Emma-May said, coming up to stand next to him and grabbing Fiddlefords bloodied arm, "No wonder he held on for so long. A strain that feeds on other vampires. He never had any interest in us, because he doesn't prey on humans."

"Thank the lord," Fiddleford muttered, voice shaking, "That was far too close for comfort."

"Agreed," Ford shook off the strange mood of the basement, bursting back into action, "Lets pack up, relocate to a secure location. This should never have happened."

Emma-May and Fiddleford grunted, finishing up taking care of his arm before moving to help load up the cars with all their gear. Ford shoved all of his things into the one they brought, then carried Stan's sleeping form and laid it down in the back seat of the Stanley Mobile (after wiping off the blood and changing his shirt. Stan didnt stir, just kept snoring). He'd cleaned it out as best he could the past week, so there was enough space back there for Stan to curl up, deep asleep after his heavy (hah!) meal.

They'd have to send word for another group to clear out the rest of the nest, if there was anything left to clear after the raid and Stan's meals.

The existence of a vampire that hunted and ate vampires was a little more pressing (And he needed to get Stan somewhere safe as soon as possible).

[crypticmushroom]

The fishing boat in second episode of gravity falls haunts me. The fact that Stan, someone who is canonically known to very frugal with money has a boat that he owns. And presumably takes out pretty regularly to go fishing in a way shows more of who Stanley is with his brother, pretending to be Stanford than wholly himself.

The so ironically named Stan’o’war is in my opinion Stan’s anchor to his dreams. His connection with Ford but also his small way of vicariously living out their shared dream of sailing the world through his ownership and usage of the boat.

Not only that, but it shows a side of Stan that isn’t just comedy relief. Someone who loves the water, fishing and sailing and wants to share that joy with the people he loves. In doing so, before we even get to know Ford, it already shows how much Stan cares about him, and their dream. Something that Ford also shares in part in the journal, where he says that his favorite place in gravity falls is the lake.

Anyway, ima go cry more about the tragic old men in another corner now

[crypticmushroom]

A young FrakenStan Ford desperately cobbles together because he shot Stan with a crossbow? That's a Stan we all know and love. But a Stan remade by a post-Weirdmaggedon Ford? Now that's something to ponder...

Stan and Ford set off to sail the high seas on the Stan o War II, looking for anomalies, adventures, and brotherly bonding. Ford grateful to not only be back on his Earth and free of Bill but reunited with his brother; Ford who does everything he can to help Stan cultivate his own identity after his life revolved around saving Ford for 30 years. Stan who appreciates that, loves that, but--- when the storm strikes, or the Leviathan appears, or they're being chased down by a horde of ghost ships--- well, Stan can't help but be the sacrificial piece. Stan who's OK being lost to the briny deep if it means saving his brother. Ford watches Stan go from warm and bright and alive to cold and wet and dead on the deck of their dream ship in the blink of an eye. Ford who's gone through too much to let this be the end; Ford who has a lifetime of science (spellwork) and an ocean of resources at his disposal.

Stan who ends up the same but... saltier? Skin grafted with soft corals and hair of Aiptasia. Bits of dolphin brain in his head and fishing line tying him up; ancient oceanic stones holding his knuckles together and a stance that sways with the pull of the moon like the tides. He was always built to live on the water so maybe he's no so different--- but quieter without wind and moodier when storm clouds roll overhead. He can't swim as well anymore which is a touch ironic, but he can find his way anywhere on any body of water. Ford's not entirely sure what he made out of his brother and the magic he pulled from the waves of the sea but Stan is still here, still alive, and still complains about his back pain in the light of the early morning sun, so Ford doesn't push the question. He just lies in the shallows when they're docked up and digs his fingers into the soft sand under the white rollers and whispers thank you to the ocean that may have pulled him away from his brother when they were young, but it always, in the end, brought them back together again.

[crypticmushroom]

this is insaaaane, our brains are so fucking weird

[crypticmushroom]

OMG ITS HERE! And thus starts Stanley’s journey into the unknown… And ends the first portion of this funny little AU. There will be more to come…. Eventually. Seriously, I have plans.

Big plans. And apparently so does our good pal Mx Lottie. Are they being genuine? Or is it all one big trick? What could possibly go wrong?

Previous

First

[crypticmushroom]

Dark Lord Master List

A list of all (or most) of my aus and relevant asks. Figuring out the overall formating as I go, so bear with me. If i miss anything send me a link because trudging through my own blog is a nightmare.

THE LIST

How to Cat Burglar a Family (Cat Stan Fic (and related spin off fics) here - Complete) - Stan gets turned into a cat, and Ford adopts him as his pet. Shenanigans, along with alternative what ifs abound.

Ask Master List Part 1

Ask Master List Part 2

Special Delivery (Fic here - Complete) - Ford accidentally sends a horror demon after Stan to drag him back to Fords house, and what comes after

Completing the Cycle (Fic here - Complete) - Stan gets turned into an axolotl and becomes Frilliam, Fords pet.

Two shot story.

If Stan was a cave axolotl

Doppelganger (Fic here - Complete) - Stan was born a shapeshifter, which changes nothing and everything.

Ask Master List Here

Princess Stan (Fic here - in progress) - In the distant realm of Fantasy Land, Ford's gotten cursed into the form of a dragon and hoards Stan, who's living in denial about his dragon brother.

Ask Master List Here

Extra

Stan and Ford communication.

Ford the cat therapist. Here. Brawling. More. More More. What! Art! Younger twins! Job! Reputation!

Fae Stan!

Border Collie Stan!

Stan the Weirdness Magnet.

Relativity Falls Au. Emma-May and Fiddleford? Sock Opera? The Rift? They Mystery Shack? Dipper the dad?

InnoStan Here

[crypticmushroom]

[crypticmushroom]

Have my take on the Feral!Ford au

While escaping from some bounty hunters Ford uses his portal gun to find the closest dimension that supports life landing him in dimension 34”/b. During the chase the gun was damaged and the stress of creating enough energy to create the portal burst the fuel bulbs effectively stranding Ford, which is made worse by the lack of civilized life on the planet.

The planet is slightly smaller than earth and has less gravity and is tilted on an axis of around 31 degrees making the seasons longer than those on earth, with harsh summers and winters. In this isolated environment Ford goes a bit crazy from lack of any contact and the slightly more oxygen heavy air certainly doesn’t help with this problem.

The “trees” on the planet are less trees and more a type of mushroom like plant that had the opportunity to grow to gigantic sizes, the bulb on the top of the plant acts as a type of giant fruit that when eaten spreads the spores of the plant, though throughout most of spring, summer and early fall the inside acts more like water as an evolutionary mechanism to combat the very common forest fires that occur because of the higher levels of oxygen in the atmosphere. Luckily for Ford there are also trees made of wood that he can use to reinforce the skull he’s made as a permanent shelter, and for firewood, though only in the winter for obvious reasons. The insects on the planet are also much bigger than the ones on earth, but most don’t survive the winters on the planet, as such there are also several mammals built for winter that make up most of Ford’s diet, some even helped him figure out what plants where safe to eat which helped him not die in the first few months stuck in the dimension.

Eventually Ford is able to make a makeshift portal fluid through various means and escapes the dimension after around 8 years, but he can never really shake the predatory nature he learned to slip into to get through some of his worst years on the planet.