cucurbitophobia

[cucurbitophobia]

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

[cucurbitophobia]

Please don't say what the answer is while the poll is ongoing! I'll reveal the answer once finished.

[cucurbitophobia]

The best They Might Be Giants joke ever is in Terry Pratchett's "Soul Music," which features a band called We're Certainly Dwarfs.

[cucurbitophobia]

[cucurbitophobia]

tumblr sexy machine contest is so funny. they got i have no mouth and i must scream vs a sewing machine

[cucurbitophobia]

"mirrorshipping", "doppelbanging", pussy ass behavior. look who can't say selfcest

[cucurbitophobia]

"mirrorshipping", "doppelbanging", pussy ass behavior. look who can't say selfcest

[cucurbitophobia]

FOUND A STRANGE COMPUTER!😱EXPLORING AN ABANDONED OFFICE PART 1!🤯

[cucurbitophobia]

it all started when he was diagnosed with lung cancer

[cucurbitophobia]

Gosh.

Must be rough for them.

[cucurbitophobia]

There's characters I think are fun to read as trans masc for my own enjoyment, characters I enjoy building a case *to* read as trans masc, one or two rare characters I genuinely think can be theorized to *be* canonically trans masc

And then there's Heinz Doofenshmirtz, who i do not believe was ever at any point intended to be canonically a trans man, but somehow the evidence is against him.

[cucurbitophobia]

you have been SNIFED, reblog to snif the next person

[cucurbitophobia]

gender-affirming surgery is a months-long dark comedy. what the fuck do you mean you're charging me double for everything. what do you mean they itemize the bill by left and right ball. what the fuck.

[cucurbitophobia]

Haven't done a traditional painting in a while

[cucurbitophobia]

You know I will actually

[cucurbitophobia]

shorthands for dumbassery that i have grown to love deeply

"how dare you say we piss on the poor" in response to someone misinterpreting your post

"_ isnt gonna fuck you" for suck up behavior

"woah. should we tell everyone? should we throw a party?" for who the fuck cares

"and what if the world was made of pudding" for when would this ever matter.

"and sharks are smooth both ways" for a group of people heatedly arguing with 1 guy who is fucking with them all

".. but its about a witch in the alps finding her lost cat" for someone trying to sanitize something to the point of absurdity

[cucurbitophobia]

the angels have come for your gluttony