cursed-and-quirkless

[cursed-and-quirkless]

The Curse - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Agoraphobia

TW: Bullying, Toxic Parenting, Neglect

Soon the computer began to grow dusty.

After the first few days, Izuku couldn’t bear to look at any more All Might videos. He carefully took down the various posters in his room and tucked them safely away, as if he could put them back up again when a quirk would miraculously appear.

It turned out to be a blessing, since his mother didn’t trust him to go online anymore.

She didn’t trust him to do anything anymore. He couldn’t go grocery shopping with her anymore, he couldn’t stray from the path to school, his mom shut off the cable and internet, his entire life had been narrowed down to his home and school. He couldn’t even go to any friend’s houses, not that it mattered.

He didn’t think Kacchan liked him anymore.

Word had gotten out about his condition, and everyone started to hurt him. Kacchan would defend him with his super strong quirk! He had never minded Izuku trailing behind him before! But… now Kacchan used his quirk on Izuku.

Kacchan practically used his quirk all day everyday. He used it when leading the other kids in games, he used it to put on shows in the classroom, and the other day he used it on Izuku.

When Izuku was diagnosed as quirkless, Kacchan just used his explosions because they were loud and scary, and he wanted to warn Izuku to stay away. But Izuku was worried! Bad things could happen if Kacchan kept using his quirk all the time! Izuku had studied the effects of long-term quirk exhaustion and he didn’t want that to happen to Kacchan, even if he was being mean to other kids.

Their Moms asked Kacchan to walk Izuku home everyday, and that just made his best friend even more angry.

Kacchan knew how to read, because Kacchan was good at everything, and he said that Izuku could be read as Deku. Deku meant useless. Izuku didn’t mind! Really he didn’t! If everyone called him Deku, then everyone could know that he was a plague before they got to know him. So now he wouldn’t hurt people like he hurt Mom and Dad.

Still… Kacchan said mean things besides that to other kids. He hurt someone on the playground, the boy wasn’t even doing anything! And Kacchan tried to hurt him for having a weak quirk. Izuku got in the way, if he could protect someone with a quirk, even if Kacchan thought it was weak, then he would be doing his job. He was a curse, and he had to make up for it.

He did it once, and he kept doing it. As he grew older Izuku became a shield. Everytime someone tried to hurt someone else, Izuku got in the way. He did the only thing he was good for.

Mom saw the bruises and the burns, but she never said anything so Izuku knew that he was doing the right thing! He never brought it up, whenever Izuku talked to his mom she looked sad. Izuku didn’t want Mom to be sad.

Besides, teachers also saw Izuku become a shield and they said nothing. Dad always taught him that teachers were trustworthy. Izuku wished he could talk to Mom, she’d be so proud of him! He was good for something, and that’s what Izuku kept telling himself whenever he hurt too much to move.

Izuku was a shield now, and maybe he could finally be happy.

~

Izuku didn’t know what he wanted to be when he grew up.

All the other kids in his class got asked that question, but no one ever asked him. They probably knew that he had no ideas. He couldn’t be a hero like Kacchan. Izuku was positive Kacchan would be an amazing hero, but what would Izuku be?

He heard one of the teachers say that Izuku would be lucky if he got to 12 years old, but he didn’t really know what that meant.

Kacchan has hurt him everyday this week, but it’s not that bad, because he hasn’t hurt the other kids.

~

It’s always cold in the apartment now.

Mom hasn’t turned on the heat like she used to, and most of Izuku’s blankets were All Might blankets shoved away.

He missed Dad’s hugs.

~

His sixth birthday comes and goes, and Izuku hasn’t seen Mom in a week. He hopes wherever she is that Mom is happy, but he’s starting to get worried she’s hurt. And he’s also really hungry. Mom hasn’t gone grocery shopping in weeks and there hasn’t been food in the house for days, not even something canned or rotten.

He found some spare yen in the battery drawer, enough to get a loaf of bread and maybe some cheese or butter if he’s lucky. But Mom doesn’t want him to go to the store anymore with her, and he’s sure he’s not allowed to go alone. But… he’s really really hungry.

Izuku debates his options for about an hour, trying to convince himself he doesn’t need to eat and he can wait for Mom to get food. If Mom was right, Izuku going outside could mean he wouldn’t come back.

But he doesn’t know when she's coming back, or if she’s hurt, or if she’s left like Dad.

Eventually Izuku’s hunger outweighs his logic and he’s facing the front door.

Shaking hands reach towards the doorknob before quickly fleeing back to his chest. What if Mom is right and he steps out of the door and he gets kidnapped? Or someone knows he’s quirkless and they attack him? The thoughts raced through Izuku’s head. Sure his mom let him go to school, but besides that his entire world was this apartment.

Izuku decided that no matter what, he would leave the apartment on the count of three.

1…

Izuku took a deep breath.

2…

He reached a shaking hand towards the door knob, preparing himself to break his mother’s rules.

3…

Before he could chicken out once more, Izuku yanked open the door and ran outside. He didn’t really know what he was expecting, the apartment complex looked the same on the weekend as it did when he went to school next to an angry Kacchan. Still, it was exhilarating to see outside of a school day.

Izuku quietly shut the door behind him, not wanting to alert the neighbors he was out of the house. Despite it being over a year, Izuku still knew the general way to the grocery store. He thought he did anyway.

Shaking legs wandered around the path he could have sworn was the right way. Was the store always this far away? Izuku made sure to take notes on where he was going so he could get back to the apartment at the very least, but he should have been to the store by now, he was sure of it.

It was after another fruitless pathway that Izuku began to truly panic. This was a terrible idea, it was all his fault he should have just stayed home like Mom told him to. Tears escaped without his permission and soon Izuku was trying to swallow down frustrated sobs, continuing his search for the store.

Izuku’s tears only flowed more as time went on, blocking his vision. He didn’t even notice the figure walking the opposite direction.

Izuku yelped in shock as he collided with a pair of legs, sending him spiraling onto the sidewalk.

“Woah there! Sorry about that lil’ guy. Are you okay?” Izuku trembled in fear, tearful eyes looking up at black hair and brown eyes. Was this man tall or was Izuku just small?

“Hey, it’s alright. Where are your parents?” The man frowned as he looked around. “Do you need help finding them?” Izuku’s breath halted. No no no! He couldn’t bother Mom, she’d be sad! Before the man could react, Izuku recovered from his fall and bolted.

“Wait! I won’t hurt you!” The man pleaded, but Izuku kept running. The pastor said he would help, but Mom says the pastor was bad. That man could be bad too. Mom was right, he never should have tried this.

Izuku was aware in a distant part of his mind where he was going, grateful he had memorized the way. He practically cried in relief when he saw the door of his apartment.

Running up the stairs and past the neighbor’s doors, he finally noticed one door was open. His door.

Izuku ran to his apartment, fearing the worst and skidding to a stop. There in the middle of the living room, his mother.

“Mom!” Izuku shouted, momentarily forgetting what he had just done. He raced to hug his mother, only to be held at arm’s length.

“Izuku!” Inko yelled tearfully. “What were you thinking? You left, after I specifically told you not to ever leave without me!”

Distantly Izuku felt anger build up in his chest. How was this fair? Izuku was hungry! They used to have three meals a day and now they had zero!

“I’m so sorry Mom.” Izuku sniffled pathetically, pushing down the burning feeling. Izuku knew if he talked back Mom would get mad, and Mom was scary when she was mad.

“Oh, Izuku. You can’t do that! The world hates people like you. What if something happened to you? Do you know how much that would kill me?” Izuku could feel his mother’s grip start to bruise his upper arms, but he didn’t care. He deserved it, he hurt Mom.

“I’m sorry Mom!” Izuku cried pathetically.

“Oh Sweetie, you know I love you right?”

“I know, Mom.”

Izuku wasn’t sure why she did.

~~~

Izuku’s childhood story won’t last too much longer, then we get to the vigilante stuff >:)

[cursed-and-quirkless]

brooooooo- I read the first chapter- it was amazing dude.

Oh thank you so much!! More to come soon!

[cursed-and-quirkless]

Chapter 1 - The Curse

Hello all! Welcome to my first MHA fic! This is the first part of a series about if Izuku was a quirkless vigilante, because I really love that trope.

TW: This fic, the first part especially, has some themes of injury, death/being on the verge of death, and ideas of suicide. No suicide is attempted, however. If these ideas bother you, please be cautious. To skip the first part, do not read until the first “~” symbol. There is also weird church stuff (that’ll make sense when you read), so if that makes you uncomfortable please be cautious. Thank you, hope you enjoy!

Ao3: queenofliterature

They say before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Izuku never thought that was accurate until now.

There had been plenty of times he had almost died. When a shot rang and the muzzle of a gun flashed, the only thing Izuku thought was run, dodge, never anything about who he was, or how he got here.

Now though, now he understood.

Izuku blinked his tired eyes, focusing on the grey sky. The city was surprisingly peaceful, though maybe that was the falling snow coating the sounds of the bustling life under him. Or the ringing in his ears.

Eyes swollen with exhaustion refused to close for too long. If he fell asleep now, he would never wake up. And as much as he lied to himself, Izuku wasn’t ready for that, not yet.

Hypothermia was settling quickly into his bones, his shallow breaths obvious against the cold night. But the gentle flakes tickled his nose, and all he felt was relief when they touched his fevered skin. Besides, he wouldn’t be dying of the cold tonight, the pools of blood gathering steadily underneath him was a testament to that.

Maybe if Izuku tried hard enough, he could roll off the edge. The rooftop had no railing, and if he stretched his arm just enough, he could dangle his hand over the streets below. But that wouldn’t do, he wanted to see the sky when his body finally let go, and his eyes closed and never reopened. Besides, Izuku could barely even move his fingers, let alone roll his entire body. No… he was stuck here.

It wouldn’t be long now.

Perhaps it was the fact that his blood was sluggishly trailing out of his body this time instead of the threat of instant death but…

His mind began to drift.

~

He was happy.

The middle class apartment he lived in with his mother and father always had the drapes thrown open, rays of sun keeping the apartment a comfortable temperature and bathing the bright green house plants.

His mother would playfully yell and scream, the damsel in distress. His father and him were the heroes.

He doesn’t remember much of his father, but he remembers the warm feeling of his chest, of the hot and smoky breath that would tickle his ears and ruffle his hair.

His father’s hands would hold him in the air as he flew to rescue his mother from the villains that had taken her.

Most of his peers probably wouldn’t want to spend their 5th birthday in the doctor’s office, but to Izuku it was the best present his parents could give him. He should have had a quirk by now, Kaccan said so. But if it was taking this long, it should have been cool and powerful! Just like Kaccan’s!

Izuku buzzed in excitement as the doctor read his file and looked at the x-rays they had taken in the big machine they put him in. Maybe he’d get telepathy, or fire, or a combination! Kaccan and him would grow up and be an unstoppable team and they’d share the rank for Number One hero (no matter what Kaccan said) and they’d save people and fight villains and-

“Quirkless.”

And just like that Izuku’s world shattered. The doctor’s uncaring drawl barely pierced his mind as his stomach lurched.

“W-what?” His mother questioned tearfully. His father simply sat there, eyes clouded with something Izuku would never understand. Sure 20% of the world was quirkless, but most were old and that number was dying out everyday. Only .01% of Japan’s population remained quirkless. And Izuku was now one of them.

When Izuku awoke the next day, his father was gone, and his mother wasn’t surprised.

There was no explosion, no shouted words, no hits or screams. His father was simply gone, any traces of him lingered like a ghost. Sometimes Izuku thought he had made up his father, the only proof he had that the man existed were the pictures Mom had kept in the trunk beside her bed.

It was raining the night he got diagnosed, as if the heavens were weeping for the shattered dream of a crushed child. He sat for hours watching the video of All Might saving all those people at the factory, hitting the replay button until his fingers hurt.

“Because I am here! Because I am here! Because I am here!”

Izuku heard the door creek softly behind him, but he didn’t turn around, he didn’t need to. “S-see that Mom?” Izuku’s tiny voice cracked, and he finally turned around. His mother already had tears springing to her eyes, and Izuku would realize later that’s the moment he would never see his father again.

“He always has a smile on his face, no matter how bad things get.” Izuku’s voice was slowly breaking down along with the little boy. “Even when things seem impossible, he never gives up.” Izuku will never forget the look on his mother’s face, the pain and the sorrow.

“Do you think… I could be a hero too?” Izuku already knew the answer to that question, he saw the answer in his mother’s eyes. His mother rushed forward, gripping him tightly and nuzzling into his hair, murmuring apology after apology. Her touch burned and the ache in his chest choked him, but Izuku didn’t bother to fight her off.

Izuku doesn’t even remember his father’s last words to him.

~

Izuku and his mother went to church the next day.

His mother was aching for a sense of normalcy, and some foolish part of Izuku believed his father would be there waiting for them.

His father was half japanese, but he never told Izuku what his other half was. Hisashi’s parents and siblings chose to follow the Christian faith, though what branch Izuku also didn’t know, he never paid attention. There was a small church half an hour away from the Midoriya apartment, and Hisashi thought it would be good for the small family to have a sense of community.

His mother must have opened up that day to the pastor before Sunday Service, because that was the first time Izuku was called a curse to humanity.

The little boy sat in the pew, hunching over as every word the pastor said pierced his heart.

“The quirkless are a scourge, a curse, a remnant of the days of old. They are a reminder of the sins of man!” Izuku’s eyes pricked at the cheers coming from around him. “We must stay strong in the face of adversity!” The cheers were stronger this time. Whatever his mother told the pastor must have sunk deep into the man’s skin, because they spent the next hour listening to the talks of plagues and scourge and punishment that were the quirkless population, all while he looked at the little green-haired boy.

After the service, all Izuku wanted to do was disappear. Going home would mean facing the unnatural quiet that now suffocated the once bright household, and staying here meant facing the lingering glares and whispers. His mother was in the restroom preparing for the semi-long trip back when Izuku heard footsteps approaching.

“Hello, Izuku.” The pastor greeted with a soft smile. He supposed it should be comforting, but all Izuku felt was fear.

“H-hello.” A meek voice greeted back.

“Your mother told me of your condition. I just wanted you to know I meant every word I said. But I can help.” The pastor offered, and despite the dangerous glint in the man’s eyes, Izuku perked up.

“You can?” Izuku asked cautiously. Maybe this would make Dad come back! And he could make Mom happy again! Izuku’s heart clenched when a hand grabbed his wrist.

“Come, child, it's not your fault. The children of God are innocent, you are being punished for the misgivings of your ancestors.” The gentle words of the pastor did nothing to ease the bile growing in Izuku’s throat. The more Izuku fought, the tighter the bruising grips became.

“W-wait.” Izuku protested as he was dragged away from the restroom. “My Mom! She’ll wonder where I am!”

“It will be a nice surprise for her, don’t you think?” The pastor ignored the protests and continued dragging the boy through the church.

“What-what’s gonna happen?”

“Simple, child. We’ll get the Devil out of you. It may hurt but I promise you’ll be better for it.” The pastor reassured. Thi wasn’t right. Mom and Dad said never go with strangers! But… the pastor wasn’t a stranger, he said he could help?

“Can we ask my Mom, p-please?” Izuku gave a powerful tug, and that seemed to be the last straw.

“Foolish child! Your mother does not understand what needs to be done! I do!” The others in the church startled at the noise, but turned away when they saw what was happening.

Izuku didn’t know what was happening, but he didn’t like it! In a last attempt, Izuku lashed out and bit the man’s hand, pulling away with a gasp when the pastor yanked his hand back.

“You evil child!” The pastor screamed as Izuku ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. He remembered the way to the restrooms, he just hoped his mother would be there. He wanted to go home! He wanted to play hero and be held by his dad and be tucked in by his mom when he fell asleep on the couch!

“Mom!” Izuku screamed when he spotted green hair. The woman quickly turned around from the couple she seemed to be frantically talking too. Izuku’s own eyes matched the tears that were streaming down his mother’s face.

“Izuku!” Inko yelled in relief as her little boy crashed into her. “Baby, where were you? I was worried sick!” Inko cried.

“M-mom, the p-pastor, h-he, a-and-” Izuku couldn’t get any of the story through the spasming of his little lungs. Through hiccuping sobs, Izuku heard the frantic footsteps of the pastor approach him, and he buried himself further into his mother’s neck.

“Pastor? What-what happened?” Inko hesitated at the teeth marks on the hand of the pastor. Her little boy wouldn;t do that for anything.

“H-he said.” Izuku’s little sobs broke her heart.

“Said what, Baby?” Inko coaxed, ignoring the man above them.

“G-gonna get the Devil out.” Inko’s heart dropped, knowing the implication.

“You were gonna beat him?” The horrified whisper reached the poster’s ears and he scoffed.

“Not him, the scourge. The boy may feel pain, but it would make him better.” The pastor declared. Perhaps if Inko hadn’t already been in pieces, she would have yelled at him. Perhaps if her husband hadn’t left and her son wasn’t falling apart she would have defended her son, but for now she had enough.

“Izuku, we’re leaving.” She said to the pastor just as much as her son, and Izuku saw the glance towards his blackened wrist.

It was the first time his mother ignored a bruise, but it would not be the last.

The drive home was quiet, and Izuku didn’t think he would ever get used to the silence that now permeated his new life.

“Mom?” Izuku spoke up, his timid voice uncomfortable with breaking pure silence. “Everything is going to be okay, right?” He just needed to hear those words as his world was crumbling beneath him, ‘It will be okay’.

“Izuku, my baby, there will be many more like him. From now on I want you to walk to and from school with Katsuki. No detours, nothing.” Izuku nodded at his mom’s serious voice. “We’re gonna get you a phone, I want you to text me everyday at lunch, and before and after school, and when you get home.” Izuku nodded again, and kept doing so as more rules were given to him.

When they got home that afternoon, his mother shut down. From afternoon till night, Inko Midoriya held an empty tea cup, not having the energy to fill it. She sat at the table, and tried to remember the deep voice of her husband that floated around the kitchen like embers, and the light and airy voice of her child that bounced against the walls.

Now all she heard was the stone cold silence of a shattered household.

Meanwhile, Izuku sat at the computer. Mom didn't bother to enforce computer time. So he watched the video, over and over again until it somehow pierced the unfeeling void that was beginning to set in. It never did.

“Because I am here! Because I am here! Because I am here!”

He realized that night with a bitter numbness he was already forgetting what his father’s laugh sounded like.

~

Izuku was finally beginning to understand, he knew he was a plague on his mother and father’s life, an infestation in his own skin.

He knew he was a curse.

~~~

Disclaimer: Nothing against any religion. Just as long as you don’t use it to hurt others I don’t care what religion you are/aren’t, this specific church, however, was very radical and was based loosely on unfortunate experiences I had in churches with some personal issues of mine. I just thought it would be interesting to explore how radical groups like this would see quirklessness.

I don't usually do this, but each chapter is gonna have a song I think that fits it!

Chapter Song: i can't breathe by Bea Miller

I have a Discord, and this fic has a channel! Same with Tumblr

Discord: https://discord.gg/UpWvDzKC5R Tumblr: cursed-and-quirkless