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“if you’re sensitive to sounds when sleeping, just use earplugs!” i cannot stress enough that the sensory feeling of having my ears fully blocked AND now being able to hear my own heartbeat and breathing and every other sound that’s happening inside my own body is a million times worse than whatever ambient noise may be keeping me awake

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goofy AU idea. Tim Drake in the Marvel universe. Idk how it happens but he ends up working under Nelson & Murdock to make ends meet while trying to find his way to his home universe. Somehow this leads to Matt and Frank desperately trying to get along and co-parent the reckless teenager they found

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Remembered the phrase "[someone] is turning in his grave", as a way of saying that someone who's now dead would so deeply disapprove of something that a living person is doing that their corpse would stir in unease.

Then I remembered an expression, "even a worm will turn", as a way of saying that no matter how downtrodden or lowly someone seems, they can nonetheless turn against their abusers and oppressors once they've had enough of it.

Then cross-contamination happened and the phrase "a worm is turning in his grave" emerged to me. I have no idea what that means.

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anyway I sent this to my husband but I'm gonna post it too.

Jason, to me, is the kind of person who so desperately wants to see good in the world. He wants, more than anything else, to believe people are inherently good and loving and worth saving. But, again and again and again, he's proven wrong by the world around him. And he keeps trying. He gets back up and tries and tries and tries.

I think it makes his second chances feel more real than Bruce's. Because you know Bruce is just going to keep giving chance after chance. Jason, though, has a line. He's marked it out. This is your only chance to prove-- to him, to yourself-- that there's still something worth saving. Whether or not he's morally in the right for that is up to you, but I do just generally find it so interesting.

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Jason does a really interesting thing in UtRH where he consistently positions himself with the other victims of the Joker. Every speech he makes about the Joker is essentially "them and, worse, me". The worse there being because Jason is Bruce's son. His argument over the various moments (and this goes for Lost Days, as well), comes down to this: It is bad enough that Bruce didn't kill the Joker before Jason died. That, in itself, when the Joker had already killed who knows how many, when he had already shot Barbara (and Jason was alive when that happened, canonically) - that is nearly indefensible.

But even if he forgives that. Even if he accepts that.

The Joker then killed Bruce's son. And not only did Bruce not kill him them, he continued to not kill him, even when bodies continued to pile up. Note that at this point in continuity, not only does Joker likely have a body count well into the triple digits, he's also attempted mass infanticide and killed Gordon's wife (fiance?).

And yet. For his moral code, for his peace of mind, because it would be too easy - Bruce lets him live. And inherently, in the world of DC as it exists, letting the Joker live means letting the Joker kill. Even if you don't agree, it's certainly what Jason believes, look at what he says:

"I thought I'd be the last person you let him hurt."

So here's our scene: Jason, who has been positioning himself as both Bruce's son and also just another victim of the Joker, is holding the Joker at gunpoint. The options are: let Jason kill the Joker, or kill Jason.

Him or me, you have to choose.

This is a choice. This was always the choice. Inaction is still a choice. Every victim of the Joker is also a victim of the collateral of the no killing rule.

Him or me, you have to choose.

Bruce has to choose. No more pretending his choice doesn't have direct victims, no more acting like no-killing doesn't also mean accepting that the victim's of the Joker are a sacrifice to the rule.

Him or me.

Him or me.

Him or me.

You have to decide. You have to choose, now, while his victim looks you in the eyes. You have to choose while the victim still has a voice to tell you you're making the wrong choice.

But Bruce is Bruce. And he tries a third way. And everybody loses! Bruce finds a way to win and everybody loses - but then, maybe that's been the choice he's been making this whole time, over and over. Until there were graveyards full of the consequences.

If Jason is going to be wrong, let him be wrong and cathartic. Let him be wrong and still a voice of every victim. Let him be wrong and unforgiving, uncomprising, demanding every hero to choose, to look at the graveyards full of bodies and know their role in it.

Let him be rage and grief and blood crying for blood, of everyone who has ever been collateral.

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diner

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some days i wake up normal and some days i wake up with the memory of fangs and claws i no longer have

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This isn't a new thought or anything, but Robin!Jason stories that depict him as uncontrollably angry or violent or somehow fundamentally corrupted are not only boring at this point, but they undermine literally the entire purpose of Red Hood as a character. "Oh no, Bruce's precious baby does murders now" doesn't work if baby was a murderer to begin with. There's a reason Came Back Same isn't a trope.

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to clarify on that point: don't do that if it pisses you off. like fandom is to be silly and all. just have fun with it. ignore shit you don't like. i just personally find writing detailed analysis about why things are wrong entertaining

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i actually need to know people's thoughts on this because at least in my experience the answer to this has drastically changed since i was on tumblr in the 2010s and its driving me fucking insane

*im talking about fandom takes specifically. not someone being horribly evil about a real-life issue or or blatantly factually incorrect. literally just harmless fandom disagreements or differing interpretations of a text/character/etc.

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anxiety really is the stupidest disorder ever. Sorry. got put on meds to take as-needed for anxiety, but they take so long to kick in that they're only effective if I can pre-plan my panic attacks. currently crashing out over something NOT pre-planned and am both too anxious to take my meds and genuinely not sure it would even be worth much because I imagine I'll be fine and won't need them anymore by the time they kick in.

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made new ocs whoops. also idk how to draw skateboards

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the overwhelming NEED to rewrite RHATO

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we got SEVEN eviction notices today. bro we GOT the message you can stop

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fuck yeah gamers (listening to my friend work on his first EP)

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in other news i wrote like 100 words today and got told by my academic counselor that i'm doing a good job so maybe i'm back on track (I'm not)