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[dadduu70]

Poem - Hollow

We always think there’s more time than there is. We make mistakes with and to others and assume they’ll fix themselves. But there comes a realisation that it’s too late, much too late. Hollowness is more than just lettersIt can be a total state of beingIt’s not having anyone to turn toWhen the tears finally want freeing It’s needing someone to hold youWhen the pain gets too muchKnowing you…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Emotion

There’s a big difference between who you see and who I am. Pretending is so tiring but people expect so much of you, that I feel I have little choice but to give in and conform. Such a pointless dichotomyWhen did life become so confusingI feel like I’m breaking into piecesSo why is it help I keep refusing I say I’ll love you foreverI promise, there’ll be no otherBut I’ll love you todayAs I can…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Absalom

If you have a mental health diagnosis, it is unique to you. We are not all the same so it would be foolish to think we would react the same. But I honestly think there is a sliver of recognition, of understanding between those who have mental illness. A kinship if you will. But, please don’t ignore family or friends who may need help and don’t put your own reputation/honour or fear of what others…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Grey

Is this the person I am nowBursting into tears at the drop of a hatUnable to see a happier futureKnowing I can’t really live with that No concentration or calm temperThe stupidly insignificant causing rageBehaviour that’s anathema to meDesperate to delete this grey page Sitting down opposite supposed counselFeeling uncomfortable under her gazeThe words she uses aren’t helpfulIs this just a…

[dadduu70]

Poem - This Thing

I used to fantasize about being in love. It never happened but I’m sure it would have been a beautiful experience. I guess it’s something I’ll never truly understand. I thought I was cleverAnd oh so smartI knew exactly how To protect my heartI am an adult on the outsideSo I use all I’ve been taughtI know I can handle myselfAll my dangerous thoughtsI’m sure I can handle thisAnd the people I…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Trust

When everything else fails, keep a tight hold on the smallest of hope. Trust that He knows what He is doing. Too many years have passed byPerhaps now is the time to wise upNot everyone is truthful and honestSometimes it really is a half empty cup I keep on banging this tired old drumHoping someone will join my bandBut their instruments are unrecognisableAnd play a tune I don’t understand Maybe…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Who Are You

I find in life, some people have to work at making an impression and others it just seems they have to smile and you’re invited into their world. Who are you then I askHow did you manage this coupYour words slip into my headI shouldn’t be thinking of you A few snatched messagesOne often deep chatHow have you peaked my interestBased merely on that Don’t start to fretRun screaming the other…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Deceptively Destructive

We all have things from our past that we’re ashamed of. Some people manage to leave it in the past, some not so much. I know the person I was and the things I had to make up for. I don’t recognise that person anymore, but I am ashamed. I knew you wanted more from meSo I friend-zoned you from the startAnd then proceeded to lead you onTo the inevitable broken heartI knew you were new to the…

[dadduu70]

Kμπt F∆¢€

Relationships can be tricky to navigate, especially when one side becomes possessive. It’s not a healthy thing and a union built on negativity will not last. I remember you recountingThe things she’d said on the phoneHow your friend wanted moreA desire previously unknown You laughed it off as paranoiaAnd, turns out it was trueShe wasn’t wrapped quite rightDangerously obsessive over you I…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Fuqoff

Even the best of relationships end. It doesn’t help when they’re built on manipulation and passive aggressive bullshit. Feeling melancholy and unsure whyAm I missing things I’ll never getMore likely confusing it for wishesStill paying for that childhood debtNo, I don’t need cheering upOr to pull myself togetherDon’t act like you actually give a damnI know this is a storm only I can weatherYou…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Sugar-Coated

There are few things in this world that we can fully control. The act of existence is one of them and unless you’ve been in that situation, where there are no more options, you cannot comprehend how it feels.It is not a weakness or a sin. Don’t push your agenda onto someone else. As I sit here on my ownCounting the pills in my handI wonder how I got hereIt’s not at all what I had planned Why…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Eighth Letter

This is the final companion piece to ‘How Much’And it’s fitting in that the friendship we had, no longer exists. We ended things amicably and although I’d prefer for us to have remained friends, I will respect his wishes. I doubt we will talk again but I would never close that door completely. I used to think you couldn’t love someoneIf you have never physically metBut out of all the people I’ve…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Bechain Aatman

This is the second companion piece for ‘How Much’This was a time of relative peace that I hoped would never end. But life is rarely that simple… It’s a rare but reassuring feelingTo know that you are always thereThese modern new-fangled relationshipsCan come stealthily from out of nowhere You’ve shown that you will listenTo the black things that I need to sayWithout the fear of consequenceYour…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Yes, You

This is the first companion piece for ‘How Much’A friendship that started with the best intentions on both our parts. But… An unplanned but trusting repositoryAbsorbing each tale as it takes formJudgement a word rarely on your tongueThe quiet respite from impending storm A gentle wisdom that seems timelessWrapped up tightly in the guise of a boyI wonder does everyone see this faceIs the public…

[dadduu70]

Poem - Bechain Aatma

This is the second companion piece for ‘How Much’ This was a time of relative peace that I hoped would never end. But life is rarely that simple… It’s a rare but reassuring feelingTo know that you are always thereThese modern new-fangled relationshipsCan come stealthily from out of nowhere You’ve shown that you will listenTo the black things that I need to sayWithout the fear of consequenceYour…

[dadduu70]

Poem - How Much

Addiction in a family can be devastating but somehow alcohol isn’t seen as dangerous as other substances. It can wreck the life of the person but also damage those around them who are of an impressionable age. How much does it hurt to thinkHe loves the bottle more than youPainful that you can’t get his attentionDespite the things that you do How deep does it cutWhen you see how a family could…

[dadduu70]

Poem - That First Kiss

I can still remember my first kiss, the trepidation, the confusion and then the passion Standing before youUnsure if I’ve read this rightI want so much to touch youGive me a sign that I might I see the flush rise on your faceAs you take me by the handMy legs feel like jellyHow am I able to stand Putting my hands around youFeeling yours slide around mePulling each other closerNowhere else I…