daisy-h-blog - Tumblr blog

[daisy-h-blog]

“Waste an hour of your life? Why’d you come then?“ Daisy answered back uncharacteristically sharp. It took her a few days to finally clear her mind, but it seemed like everything was going darker instead. So she decided, that a self-defense class was a good thing to distract herself with.

He could not believe he had been forced to take a self-defense course. The Ministry clearly had no idea who they were dealing with. He eyed the other Ministry workers standing in the room; it was almost surprising that the Ministry had not gone over the board and ordered aurors to attend the course. Without a doubt an auror would be instructing them.

He crossed his arms and glanced at his watch. Few minutes past three. The class had been supposed to start at three o’clock. Rodolphus was punctual and could not help but to get annoyed at the small inconvenience. “Not only do I have to waste an hour of my life here, I am also made wait.”

[daisy-h-blog]

Usually, when Daisy was feeling numb or sad, she always went to Lily - to her house, in her company, and with her ice cream cake in hand. “Let’s go to the store, I crave for your comfy sofa right now.“ She smiled over the dried tears on her cheeks, standing up with Lily’s hand in her own. Daisy was truly amazed to the extents the redhead was ready to go with her, but she respected and appreciated that.

The fact, that Lily herself talked to Regulus made Daisy froze a bit. What did she asked him? What did he tell her? What happened in the conversation? So many questions, yet there was no point answering them. “And-“, she tried to bite her tongue. “What are they? His intentions..“

Her questions were logical, but not after she heard the next words. He loves you. It was probably the one and only ting she wanted to hear from him, to finally give in to her emotions free of doubts and concern. But it came from Lily instead. “He told you that?”

“We can get whatever you want,” Lily said, linking her arm with Daisy’s and pulling her close to her. “Hell, we could even get cake afterwards. My treat, yea? Or, I could even make you my fancy ice cream cake. We’ll have to stop at the store instead of the cafe, though.” Looking over at her friend, Lily hoped that food would distract her. She knew she usually liked to eat sweets when she was upset and thought that it was perfectly normal to help her feel better; even if it meant supplying a large amount of ice cream. 

Tensing as Daisy mentioned Regulus, Lily looked down at her feet, knowing that she couldn’t very well lie to her. “I, uh, well you see…” She looked away from her, sighing. “I did, too. Not because I think he’s on the opposite side or anything, but because I wanted to know his intentions with you.” Swallowing roughly, she looked up at her friend.

“He loves you,” she said, quietly. “A lot. And I know that’s probably not what you were expecting me to say, but… If you really want this… I think he’d do anything for you. Then again, I’ve only talked to him once. But, I’m decently good at reading people, I’d think. I’m not usually wrong.”

[daisy-h-blog]

“Great then.“ The first ever genuine smile, despite all the tears and dark thoughts was present on Daisy’s lips, as he went with the flow and distracted teh topic as well. The last thing she wanted to talk about is Death Eaters using a werewolf for their causes. “Why not both?“ She said with a bit of a raised voice, grabbing his head and apparating away from all this madness.

It was not much of twisting and turning, before the two were in front of Daisy’s living place. It was nothing too much, but after all, it was just a flat too. She unlocked the door, the Muggle way, using her keys and locking it all up again, using the very same method. “The Muggle in me shows of way too brightly sometimes. Wanna come help me prepare the tea?“

Remus nodded. He definitely wanted to get out of the hospital. He was lucky that he never had to spend that much time in there growing up. He spent a lot of time in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, but that was a little different. He was sick of the smell of antiseptic and the moans of pain as he walked past open rooms. He felt a little skeptical, not knowing if Daisy should be leaving yet. But he trusted her. If she wanted to go home, then that’s where they’d go. He was shocked that she still wanted to be around him especially after he had just accused her of such a horrible thing. “Yeah,” he said quietly. What if this was all a trick by the death eaters to turn them against each other? Maybe no one had actually betrayed him. He pushed the thought out of his mind. He would go crazy if he overthought every little detail. “Sounds good to me,” he said. “He felt like he hadn’t just hung out with Daisy normally in weeks. He hadn’t been to her house. He hadn’t been able to just  talk and laugh. The closest they had gotten to that was when they were back at Hogwarts in front of the fireplace where they had met, but even that was quickly turned into a sour event. “I’ll never say no to tea,” he laughed. “Or cake.”

[daisy-h-blog]

Daisy Hookum  { spotify character playlist } [click]    - classical edition -

“ Caught between a strong mind                             and a fragile heart “

Gustav Holst  ~  Venus, the Bringer of Peace  [ + intelligent ]

Camille Saint-Saens  ~  Cello Concerto, IInd mov.  [ - insecure ]

Gabriel Faurè ~  Elegie  [ - emotional ]

Pablo Casals  ~  Song of Birds  [ - shy ]

Edward Elgar  ~  Cello Concerto, Ist mov.  [ + compassionate ]

Antonin Dvorak  ~  Cello Concerto 1, Ist mov.  [ + brave ]

~ 50 minutes ;

[daisy-h-blog]

Daisy thought she would be relieved by the sight of the castle, or rather, the sight of anything different than that creepy street, in which the two of them almost found their death in. Yet, it was all fire and more death she saw, but only one thought drove her towards the castle, after Mary’s steps.

Determination.

She wasn’t going to back down from whatever was happening inside. She wasn’t going to coward out as she always did, she wasn’t going to avoid this situation, because it made her sad. She would fight for it, as much as it took, so it could make her happy.

Mary and Daisy were almost near the castle, nearing the bridge, that let towards the massive iron gates, which were slammed down, melted. Bodies of a student or two were in their feet, the smell of burned wood and torches filled in the air. They hadn’t even reached the doors, when Daisy heard a distinctive and loud incantation of a foreign spell to her. It echoed through the air all the way from the Astronomy tower, but what she could see made her terrified more. ‘Morsmordre!‘ she’d heard, and a skull was all that she saw, high up in the sky. An evil laugh followed, sending shivers down her spine.

“Are we... are we too late, Mar?“

Daisy’s voice rang in her ears and she told herself to let go, to stop herself, because while Mulciber might deserve it, this wasn’t her. And Mary wasn’t going to lose herself because of him, nor because of this war. Not yet.

She realised she was shaking, and she looked at her friend with fear and apologies and tears still in her eyes. “I —-,” she began, voice thick, but her voice died out, because what should she say? How could she explain how she felt like she was five years younger and standing in that hallway again? How she wanted to hurt Mulciber for what he’d done, how she wanted him to feel the fear that had haunted her for years? 

And so she said nothing. Pushed her lips together in stead and held on to her wand tightly, and didn’t loosen her grip when Daisy wrapped her hand around hers. She needed something to hold onto, and her wand was the only thing that made her feel somewhat safe in that moment, but the feeling of Daisy made her feel calmer. And that, she needed to. To be brought back to her senses.

Without warning, they apparated, and Mary saw the scene change into one just as horrifying, if not worse. 

Hogwarts was nothing like it had been the last time they had been there and Mary’s breath stuck in her throat. “Come on,” she said immediately, still clinging to her wand and looking at Daisy. “We need to get inside, we need to help.”

Because while this sight scared her, too, Mary would in no world sit by and watch as the world burned. One thing had always been bigger than her fear and it was her persistence, and so Mary did not hesitate as she started moving towards the castle, her walk determined as her face showed worry and fear for what Daisy and her would walk in on.

[daisy-h-blog]

It truly pained her to see Remus all confused once again. In his eyes, Daisy had a motive to go and sing everything out to the Death Eaters, but then again, that would be out of her nature. Remus must’ve known this, and yet he was still concerned and feeling unsafe. She hugged him once again, tight and honest, as she narrowed down her voice to a whisper. “You’re safe now. We’ll find who it was. I would never betray you, not even after the accident. Never.“

She pulled away, trying to force a smile in order to soother the situation. “Want to go an grab something? I have cake at my place and a lot of tea. I’m tired of being here, I want home. You coming?“

“I know,” he said, softly. “I know.” He repeated it again, a little more forcefully this time. “But you don’t expect anyone to do that to you, Daisy.” His voice was heavy. He felt like he had been crying a lot the past few days, especially for someone who hadn’t been injured. “It kills me to think that any of my friends could have done it to me, but someone did. Someone did that to me. Someone wanted to hurt other people and-and…” He paused. “They wanted to use me to do it.”

He looked at her, his eyes pleading her to forgive him. “I don’t think it was you, but I don’t really know who to trust these days,” he said, quietly. He looked down at their hands and began to run the back of hers with his thumb. This couldn’t be easy for her either. She was experiencing a lot lately, and then she had to have her friend practically accuse her of betraying him. “I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

[daisy-h-blog]

The woman surely was strong, given the fact she never collapsed in front of Daisy. That was certainly a thing that Daisy would’ve done, even if it sounded ridiculous. She never really tried to find out how in the world were her legs still holding her up, but she supposed that was part of life - bloodshed, hundred lost souls and then you move one, like nothing ever happened.

At first, Daisy was skeptical about her answer and the sudden trust, that the woman had put into her all of a sudden. Just before a minute, she thought she was under the effect of a Polyjuice Potion, how did it all turn around so quickly? Wand still in hand, with no intention of leaving it nowhere else, she replied with a soft voice. “I suppose I can stay. For a bit. Like, one glass maybe.“

The woman couldn’t be a Death Eater, her brother was in the Order after all. Thoughts occupied her mind, but she quickly came to the conclusion this didn’t really matter - Bellatrix and Sirius were siblings too, yet they were fighting on different sides. However, what more did Daisy have to lose? Surely, a woman who cried on the sight of her brother’s corpse, meant that she was on good terms with him, right?, she thought, as her feet stepped inside the little house.

“Pretty house you have there.”

Amelia accepted her consoling words with another nod, keeping the stoic expression glued to her face like a mask. She had heard too many I’m sorrys to be truly affected by them anymore. Maybe the people knew it wasn’t going to make anything better because words were wind, maybe they didn’t. All she could do for them in return – and it was poor gratitude – was let her heart harden a bit with every other muttered word. How long until those words would cease to be spoken, how long until people would think enough time had passed for her to be able to survive without their empty breaths? Fact was, she didn’t fault them for thinking she needed comfort and consolation. It was a natural thing to think. Rather, she faulted the fact that, once they’d stop saying sorry, the memory of her brother would fade as well. And Amelia couldn’t quite come to terms with Eddie fading just yet.

What surprised her was that Miss Hookum had known her brother. They weren’t exactly the same age, after all. Edgar had been old enough to actually have a stable job, house and family of his own while the young woman in front of her seemed to be barely out of Hogwarts. A thought entered her mind… It was unlikely, but possible. After all, Edgar had never told her who was in the Order, and the “little time” part Miss Hookum had mentioned… It was a possibility and Amelia’s mind already was tying together knots.

“I have wine and it’s getting dark,” she started and mentally hexed herself for what was about to turn into a madly spontaneous evening. “If you have nowhere else to be and… nobody waiting for you, I’d appreciate the company.” She unlocked the door to her apartment. Either this was going to work or not – she hadn’t stated her intent of inviting the other woman in (because only a madwoman would do that with a stranger when it was nearing night, and maybe grief was turning her into one), though she was sure it would become clear over the course of the conversation. Amelia wasn’t going to break down and cry about the unfairness of life. She was going to get something of her brother back by finding out more about one of the things responsible for his death – the Order.

[daisy-h-blog]

Out of everything, the sight of him being lost was what pained Daisy the most. He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve to be claimed a burden, he didn’t deserve to be part of something he didn’t want to. Despite everything, that Lily had warned her about, despite all the reputation his family had and contrary to the world’s natural flow - she fell in love with him, and it didn’t pain her, she felt it right.

“It takes a certain amount of strength,“ she paused, placing her hand onto his own. “But in the end, you have to seek what makes you happy. Does this make you happy?“

He shook his head, lowering his face into his hands.  He didn’t.  He didn’t deserve safety and escape when he had been a part in shaping the world that had created the war they were currently struggling through.  He had perpetuated stereotypes that had followed people like Daisy around like an undeserved shadow– did he really deserve forgiveness after that.

He just shook his head, not knowing how to fight her on something he knew to be true– but it was also something he knew she would fight him on.  There was no right path, not here.

[daisy-h-blog]

We’ll talk about boys. The words got stuck in Daisy’s mind, all with the picture of Regulus. Their conversation after the battle was the same as always - filled with concern and doubts on his side, and Daisy trying to convince him in the opposite. He was desperate, he needed someone on his side, and it was harder and harder for her to be this person. Not with all this deaths, not with all this madness. But the walk, to wherever Lily was taking her, came refreshing.

“So,“ pausing to fake a smile, while wiping the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hands, she continued with a more contained voice. “I want vanilla and strawberry ice cream, with a lot of chocolate syrup. Can we get hot chocolate as well?“ It was something she always ate or drank when she was sad or troubled, and Lily perfectly knew that.

“I actually spoke to Regulus.“ Daisy tried to bite her tongue, looking at her feet while walking down the street, her right hand holding Lily’s own.

Lily watched her drift away and shook her head, instantly looking into her eyes. “It’s only a suggestion, Daisy,” she said, softly. “You’re a great witch. All you need to learn is how to use that magic in a way that will protect yourself. That’s what matters right now. Protection. I will be there as often as I can but what if I’m not?” She sucked in some air and then looked down at her hands. “I need you to be safe. And that’s the only way I could think of that I would know for sure you’d be okay. No one is more powerful than you are, right?”

Heartbreak didn’t begin to explain the feeling that Lily got when Daisy began talking. She felt like her entire body might explode. Daisy was eighteen years old. Lily knew she didn’t deserve this kind-of life. Then again, no one really did. Daisy was the happiest person she knew, and even she was being broken by this war. It was like her heart was being ripped from her chest, more likely. “I won’t talk about it anymore,” she said, shaking her head, and leaning in to give Daisy a big hug.

“Hey, it’ll be fun, yea?” Lily said, a small smile creeping on her lips. “We’ll get ice cream and we’ll talk about boys…” And how I definitely didn’t go up to Regulus and threaten him, Lily wanted to add, but remained quiet on the subject.

[daisy-h-blog]

As Daisy had expected - Remus wasn’t feeling safe once again. And of course, she understood him, who would be feeling safe in a place like his? However, her hand found it’s way to his own, wrapping them in a soft embrace. “James told me. Not directly, but it takes a fool to connect two and two.“ Her face was filled with concern and pain, but her voice remained soft.

“Despite what happened between us before some time, I want you to know, that I have never seen a monster in you, Remus. Even after that. And even if I did, I would never go against you. I want you to know that, there’s no force on this world, that would make me stab you in the back. You must know this.“ Daisy’s eyes were glued to his own, filled with honesty.

“’We all want to be safe. And I assure you, that your secret will be safe with me until my d e a t h.“ How familiar the topic of death is nowadays, she thought.

Remus felt like all the air had been knocked out of him. He didn’t expect Daisy to bring that up. How did she even know? Did someone tell her? Did she just suspect it on her own? He didn’t want to believe it was Daisy, but parts of it made sense. He had hurt her. Maybe she told them for her own safety. Maybe she was forced to tell people. Maybe they had threatened her.

Either way, Remus felt guilty for considering her. He didn’t want to have to consider if any of his friends were traitors. But he had to do it for his own safety. He couldn’t just ignore the fact that someone in his close circle was a spy. This probably wasn’t an isolated incident. “I-” he said, not able to make eye contact with her.

“Who told you?” he asked, quietly. He couldn’t lie to her. He couldn’t deny it. He didn’t want to think it was her, but he had to at least recognize that she could have had some motives. “I don’t want to think it’s you,” he muttered. “But I have to be safe.”

[daisy-h-blog]

Daisy was not familiar with the woman’s affiliations, but if she was anything near Edgar, she would surely be on the same page as him. She wouldn’t had grieved, if they weren’t, she wouldn’t be that emotional if they despised each other. It was a simple connection, and fairly, it’s been too much of tears in Daisy’s life right now. She needed a room to breathe. To grow.

“I’m..“ the words got stuck in her throat, as she realised that the mere thoughts of that night came back to her, in order to annihilate her mind. “I’m very sorry.“ She lowered her wand at the evidence being presented, but did not put it away just yet. She wasn’t able to sleep without it being on the counter next to her pillow, she couldn’t even walk without the security of it’s touch against her body while she was walking. Daisy wasn’t feeling safe.

“Edgar was brave and kind. I would never forget him, never mind the little time in which we talked.“ Daisy shrugged, thinking how reckless it was to give out such information. If the woman had asked, the brunette would conjure a story no problem, but the Order had lost a true fighter that night. “There’s no need to apologize. You know...“ she paused once again, thinking of the possibilities - what if the woman turned around to backfire? Sibling rivalry was nothing unknown to the world; however, Daisy brushed off those thoughts. “I can hear you out if you want me to. Keeping a straight face is hard, I know of it. If not, I will be on my way.”

Amelia immediately realized she was talking about Edgar. The young woman’s choice of words in particular occupied her thoughts. …were Bones’ sister… Did a sister stop being a sister when her sibling died? The thought made her jaw clench. She had bought the alcohol to stop such mental wanderings for tonight and she didn’t plan on being hindered by anybody. After all, there was nobody nearby who she considered to be close enough to. It would be a few days until she’d travel to her birthplace, to her parents and the brother who still lived.

“Yes. Amelia Bones,” she offered, quite monotonely. Best to keep the emotion out of her voice by pretending she felt none. She didn’t fault Miss Hookum for not knowing her name – everything was a mess right now, they could both agree on that. Nor did she fault her for demanding identifying evidence in return. What Amelia didn’t count on was having been seen crying. Crying, of all things. Alone, in a bloody hospital. It sounded like it came from a bad film. Either way, she felt like she was in a bad film right now herself, so it fit quite well, didn’t it?

Keeping her teeth pressed hard on each other and her wand in front of her, Amelia just continued to answer the other’s question. “I live here. These are my keys–” With a light swish of her wand, keys floated out of her bag, and she took them into her left hand. “–and I was just about to enter the apartment. If I’d been a Death Eater, I would have attacked you by now.” She lowered her wand now, paranoia slowly retreating even though it was getting dark.

“I don’t believe I properly thanked you, for the condolences. But thank you, now,” she acknowledged, slightly nodding, nevertheless keeping a straight face. Her apartment was a few steps away and so was opening the wine bottle and drowning her sorrows. “And my apologies for… just now. But it was necessary.” Only now she allowed the bitterness to seep into her voice. They were targeting not only Order members, but their families as well, after all. Not that she could mention it in front of the other woman – Edgar had invited her to join, but hadn’t told her who already was a member. Even in death, she would keep his secret.

[daisy-h-blog]

“Correct.“ Daisy hummed under her breath, her mind scanning all of the faces she had encountered during her long nights in St. Mungo’s. She failed to separate alive from dead, and it was all a mixture, before she finally snapped out of her thoughts, to realize this was the bold-looking woman, who showed her sensitive side, grieving over her fallen brother. “You were Bones’ sister, right? I’m afraid I’ve lost your name in my mind, it’s been a mess.“

With a lowered wand, she found it odd for her instincts to put the wand up again, holding it even tighter. “How am I sure you are not one of them?“ If this was the old Daisy, she would’ve told the woman her name straight away, followed by hundreds of other facts that could’ve been used against her. But now she was not that innocent. She had grown a tiny peace more, and she was going to shout it out. “I’ve confirmed your supposed brother’s identity and later expressed my condolences. You were crying in one of the closed sub-wings of the hospital’s first one.“

“Your turn.“

“Daisy Hookum, correct?” Amelia had always prided herself on being able to remember names after hearing or reading them only once. She recognized the young woman from St. Mungo’s, where she had seen her in passing a few days ago. She had been there to validate the identity of Edgar’s corpse before it was prepared for transportation to the Isle of Wight for the coming funeral. Amelia had done her best to keep her tears a private matter. There were other people mourning, after all, with their very own burdens.

“Tell me something to convince me you’re not one of them,” she probed, keeping her wand up. There was Polyjuice Potion. There were so many other possibilities, all designed to not only take down Edgar Bones, but his little sister, too. Amelia wouldn’t take any chances. Eddie wouldn’t want her to be so careless. 

The other woman seemed a tick too eloquent for her apparent age, but it could simply be the experience and maturity surfacing. Amelia would be surprised if children didn’t age faster nowadays – innocence should be a foreign word to them by now, because it didn’t ensure survival. Being innocent meant being killed faster. It was sad, but it was the way now.

[daisy-h-blog]

Daisy was frozen in place form the incantation, head turning around to see what was happening. It was like in slow motion - she saw the cruel face of the Death Eater, the face of Mary, frozen as much as her own. And she couldn’t do anything out of panic. It was like that Full Body-Bind Curse had hit her instead of a stone wall.

Her eyes followed the stray of orange, moving like a ray of sunlight. It reminded her of all the happy things in her life - flowers, sunshine, Lily’s flame hair, her mother and the light of hope. All those things, that now were unable to save her from this gruesome turn of events.

But the spell connected to Mary, and that’s when her eyes widened of fear.

Daisy didn’t know what to do. Seeing her friend holding up her wand against her, ready to obey her master, being in a state of trans that was unreal for her, it was like a dream. Her hands were shaking and the wand fell on the stone cold ground, rolling down not too far away. She closed her eyes, paralyzed as of an invisible force, that had a name - fear.

Daisy would rather die, than hurt Mary.

But in a single moment of bliss and what felt like victory, she heard Mary’s voice opposing their attacker, breaking out of the curse - and the panic shifted from Daisy to the Death Eater. Blood forming pools around him felt just, but wrong. But she realised that was wrong, pain was not what the Order inflicted upon people. “Mary...“ her voice shaking with concern, harsh and emotionless. “Stop, that’s not you.“

Retrieving the wand, Daisy managed to get on her feet and wrap her hand around Mary’s wand one. “Mary...“ A single tear rolled down her cheek - a tear of victory and sadness. She felt her body twisting, as the apparition job did it’s job to teleport them to the happiest place she could think of. The safest. Hogwarts.

However, the fire surrounding the stone walls of the castle spoke of another story.

“Imperio.”

 Fifth year, wrong place, wrong time: Mary was hit by the spell and found herself calm and in trance, and she did not question the movements she was told to make, not until he released her and she found herself controlled by fear. 

And when Mary tried to make sure this wouldn’t happen again, not to her or another person like her, by telling her superiors, she was faced with the reality that the system catered to people like Mulciber and not people like her. Because there was a lack of evidence. Because it would be a pity to suspend someone who was almost done with school. Because Mary was not bearing any scars or wounds, not on the outside at least. 

And so Mary had decided that if the schoolboard and her teachers could not stop these things from happening again, she would. She fought with gritted teeth through her nightmares, wept against Lily’s flaming hair and passed all her OWLs after months and months of hard work. She sculpted herself into someone she wanted to be, into someone who would stand up to these things herself rather than rely on people who wouldn’t do anything anyway. 

Mulciber was right: she had learned a few things. And so when he cast that curse, and she was thrown in that state of calmness and trance again, she did not lose herself in it. Not this time. She fought back, in stead. 

This time it was clear he did not want to have her do a few movements, this time it was clear that his intentions were malicious and cruel, that he wished to kill two people with one stone by forcing Mary to attack Daisy. And Mary did raise her wand, and did think she should for a moment, because how could it be wrong if this felt so good, but then she asked herself why and she started fighting against it, started realising what was happening, started seeing who she was aiming at and she s n a p p e d out of it.

She whipped her wand towards him, acting on her instincts as some of her muscles seemed to be trembling and her breathing was quickening because this felt far too familiar, and what if she hadn’t been able to do that? Mary saw herself lash at him with her wand, heard herself scream “Diffindo!,” and watched her charm cut into him. She felt herself get satisfied when he bled and she was not sure if she was fully there any more, because she could feel tears on her cheeks but didn’t realise she was crying, because this wasn’t her, this wasn’t her, she didn’t hurt people and feel satisfaction, but he deserved it, he deserved it.

[daisy-h-blog]

“I-I...“ she stopped, trying to forbid the thoughts of Mary’s wand pointing towards her. “I suppose...“ But have you seen a child’s corpse, Alice? Have you seen them going one by one in front of your eyes?, she thought, not letting the tears leave her system. “Thank you.“

Daisy was relieved to hear, that the little Longbottom and Frank were okay. Alice would’ve been devastated if anything was to happen to either of them, probably more for them than for her own current state. “It’s only the two of us. Assumptions are not against the law. Who do you think could’ve gotten pissed at you? Do you think there’s a plan behind all that?“

recuperate | alice&daisy

“If you had been at Hogwarts you might have died too,” she whispered, swallowing painfully.  “and the world would have been so much worse off for it.  You’re brilliant and w-wonderful, and the world needs you.”

She nodded.  “Y-yes I do think that’s what happened.  N-neville was with Frank, so he wasn’t there.  He was safe.  And yes, I d-do.  But I’m not sure I should say.  What if it wasn’t them?”

[daisy-h-blog]

It was different with other people. Normal people pitied him, but those who actually got to Remus were a few. His friends, and those knowing about his lycanthropy in particular, however, knew it behind the surface. They had answers, about his life without a word needed to be said. Daisy never supported him out of pity, neither were Lily, James, Sirius or Peter. She supported him because he was worth it, and he needed to know that.

“It might be okay, but is this what ‘not okay‘ defines as?” As they pulled away, she sighed. “The Ministry and Hogwarts are down, Marlene’s father is dead and Alice is in a hospital bed, suffering from the aftermath of an Unforgivable Curse. Mary could’ve killed me against her own will. Fuck.” She tilted her head, her face looking painful. “We will, but for how long will we last?“

Her hand ran over his. “Also, James told me about the spy thing. Remus, It pains me to hear this, but I’m a suspect, right?“

Remus wrapped his arms around her. Their incident in the woods had tested their relationship and somehow made it stronger. They were still friends; they trusted each other. Daisy was like his little sister and he would never want anything to happen to her. Daisy was only two years younger than him and yet sometimes the age difference seemed much greater. It was possibly because his lycanthropy had prematurely aged him, causing him to have to take on adult responsibilities way earlier than most kids his age.

 “Me either,” he said. He pulled away from the hug and looked at Daisy, his eyes full of concern. “It’s okay to not be okay,” he said, hopefully putting words to what she was feeling. He knew she often felt pressured to act like everything was okay when it wasn’t; they all were. But especially Daisy, who was still young and worked in such high stress situations. “We’re going to get through this together.”

[daisy-h-blog]

There was no one around. The street was dark and they were alone - not only on the alley but in the world as well. She felt her heart drop, and despite all that the Death Eaters have done, it pained her to see Regulus being in such a hard situation. And that’s why all she did was to press a kiss on his left cheek softly and gently, putting all of her thoughts in it.

“You do. You do.“ The second time she repeated the words - they were harsher and emphasized, tears appearing in her eyes right after that. “And don’t you dare say otherwise. Regulus Black, you deserve all the happiness in the world. Just follow your heart.“ Her deep eyes were glued to his.

It wasn’t that he doubted he was capable of good.  He didn’t doubt that he was capable of doing the right thing.  He knew he could– what he doubted was that he was deserving of anymore than the life he was currently living.  He doubted he was worthy of waking up in the morning without having to worry about wearing a mask.  He was worried he didn’t deserve to know that he had people that were really and truly unconditionally on his side.

“That’s not it, Daisy.  I– I just don’t– I don’t deserve to be happy.  Not after everything I’ve done.”

[daisy-h-blog]

Finishing up her shift in St. Mungo’s, Daisy couldn’t believe she was still on her feet. It was all too exhausting, but not the work. However much she tried to shake those memories off, she couldn’t, they all kept coming back at her. What was shaking her was the shadows, the deaths and that stray of brightly orange line, that could’ve made one of her best friends kill her. It was too much to hold, but helping others was Daisy’s way to distract her thoughts away from the reality - although it was right in front of her eyes.

She had seen many people cry over the past few days, but she wasn’t sure if anyone else had drained as much tears as her. But of course there is - Alice, Frank, James, Remus, Lily, Marlene, Mary - the list went on and on and Daisy was only stupid to think she was the only one hurt. It was selfish and she wanted to cry about that too. Many unfamiliar faces were also spotted grieving, but she knew, that sometimes it’s best for one to be alone.

A few minutes later, already on the way to her own flat (she did not want to even think of going near her father, as it would be all too threatening for him in her opinion) she heard footsteps, on the side, the eye closer to the strees twitching as a gag reflex. Abruptly turning at the movements of the other, she gripped her own wand to and was ready to protect herself. Only to see one of the crying faces in the hospital.

“I’m a healer from St. Mungo’s. I wish you no harm, I assure you.“ Daisy shrugged slightly. “I’m sorry to disturb you. I’ve been particularly scared of everything myself too.“

A rushing, swirling noise. Then specks of orange and yellow filling her vision, before her green eyes completely adjusted to the dusk. Amelia landed on the paved Londoner street with a click of her heels, long ago having become used to the sensation of apparition. Her gaze found the bag she was carrying, peeking inside. The bottle of red wine was still where it should be, nothing broken or leaking. She wasn’t even relieved.

Mostly, she was just numb.

The young woman cursed the loud sounds her shoes were making as she walked to the door leading to her small apartment. She was positive this had been the worst week of her whole life. Nothing was safe – not even those few steps until home felt quite secure enough, she could still be ambushed after all. She had been cautious before. Now, with Edgar’s death, she was sure she was slowly becoming paranoid. Who wouldn’t be if their brother was killed by Death Eaters, if the Ministry wasn’t a fort of strength anymore like Amelia had once believed? The hidden grip on her wand was strong and ever-present nowadays.

They had been lucky enough to collect a body. Edgar’s funeral would be held in a few days and until then, his sister didn’t know how to pass the days but with work, grief and a bottle of alcohol or two. She felt empty. Everything she had so steadfastly believed in before… It was all shaking with doubt and darkness.

In the semi-darkness behind her, a noise reached her ears. The hand gripping her wand beneath her robes pulled it out in one swift motion, promptly turning to face whoever was there with a trained tip of her wand.