dalusional

[dalusional]

A Girl Named Jane.

Ponyboy FanFic

Angst!!

Description: Jane and Ponyboy were always looked at as the perfect couple, they were meant to be. They clicked together perfectly and were eachothers pride and joy. They always said they couldn’t live without each other…although sometimes life has its own plans.

“You’re okay Pony, you’re going to be okay. I have to go now.” Janie stood there, looking as beautiful as ever. The light from the sunset glazed over her features perfectly. Bags were in her hands as her hair blew beautifully within the breeze. A harsh pain stabbed me in the chest as I realized what she meant.

“How could you do this? How could you do this to me?- To us?! We held so much and you are just choosing to throw it away like it’s nothing at all!”

“Ponyboy it’s not like that. You know I didn’t have a choice.” How could she be so solemn about leaving? I couldn’t help but feel like she never cared. Janie and I never argued once. Our bond was so perfect, nothing at all could damage it. No one could tear us apart. We were meant to be, inseparable- everyone knew that, so why now? What made her want to leave? That’s when I realized her choice of wording.

My lip quivered as I spoke, as if I knew what was coming. “Didn’t? What do you mean didn’t.”

“You know Ponyboy. You know. Remember that day?” As if lighting had just erupted, the harshness behind her words struck me deep. My heart began to sink low into the pit of my stomach, it was as in the blink of an eye the beautiful scene behind us changed in an instant- the perfect sunset suddenly became a gut wrenching stormy night. I began to shake as she took a step closer to me, making the sensation of guilt I held even harsher. Deja Vu began to overcome me but I couldn’t remember where I’d been before in order to relive this painful sensation. “That day down at the railroad tracks? I’m not leaving Ponyboy you left me.. but for some reason you can’t help but admit it. Say it Pony say it! Say it god damn it! You left me there to rot! You could’ve saved me!”

The sound of her words slaying through my ears attacked me so brutally I began to hold my stomach. Her words like knives, I almost fell to my knees but somehow was able to stand.

Now I Remember.

Remembering the scene of her lying there motionless could’ve killed me.

“No! No! NO! Stop it!” I yelped at the taunting of her words. The pain within my heart began to become so insufferable I swear I could’ve passed out right then and there. I glanced at her hoping for some remorse- no, I looked at her hoping for something I hadn’t seen in awhile, her comfort. All I saw infront of me was her emotionless state. “I didn’t have a choice! I…” My words trailed off into the distance as the aura of her stare became more fierce.

“You left me there to rot in my own blood and sorrow. You know it.” No. No. Please no. “The moments you had to cherish me are over now Pony. I have to go now.” She said as she turned swiftly and began to walk into the distance. My heart had now completely shattered and the lump in my throat became so large- I couldn’t breathe. Her white dress blew swiftly in the wind as her silhouette began to disappear out of my sight. “Janie!” “Janie No! Please Stay!” I tried to yell, even at the top of my lungs nothing came out. No. No. NO. not again. I couldn’t take this. Not again.

“Ponyboy!” A distant call jolted me from my sleep. I gasped for air sharply and sat up, not noticing at first how stained my cheeks were from my dried tears. I turned to see Soda looking ruffed up as if he’d been suddenly awoken also. “What?!” I exclaimed now noticing the sensation of dried tears against my skin.

“What do you mean, what?! Are you okay? You were having a nightmare I think.. you kept yellin and hollerin…” I suddenly remembered what I had been dreaming moments before and cut him off. Soda knew how sensitive I was about the topic and for that couldn’t seem to finish his sentence.

“Jane.”

“Yeah..” He said softly and somewhat relieved I finished for him. Everyone especially Soda never liked to bring her up, I hadn’t been me since the incident and when I was finally happy, they tried their best to keep it that way. “man you’re gonna be okay. It’s not your fault man, there was nothin in your power-“

“It was my fault Soda.”

You could’ve thought the world shook from how Soda reacted. “What?!” He said shocked at my words. Yes, I had dreams like this all the time, but I don’t know.. this one felt more realistic- more harsher than others. I mean, it woke up Soda so that should make a point. I couldn’t help but feel like it was a sign of some sort. “Yeah, I mean… why would I keep having these dreams Soda? What if she’s trying tell me somethin. I mean..” Soda cut me off with a hug- he could somehow sense the throbbing in my heart as I spoke, maybe my voice cracking hinted it.

“It was never your fault man. You did what you could, you went to fetch help.. there was nothing you could’ve done yourself to tend to her state. Hey.. her last moments were with you just remember that, okay? Laughin and smilin- with YOU, pony. That means she really loved you, loved you enough to enjoy her last moments with you. You didn’t push her infront of the train now did you? It’s gonna be okay man. I promise.” I know Sodas words intended to hit me hard, but they didn’t. Nothing anyone could say or do would change my mind. I just want my Janie back.

“Yeah…” I said softly. “I just… I miss her Soda.. I really loved her. If only I didn’t agree to take her to the creek that day. We could’ve just stayed in, watching old romance movies that she liked.. and I hated.” I let out a soft chuckle at the thought. One thing Janie and I never agreed on was movies, but I always gave in and let her pick. Anything to see her smile, man I loved her smile.

Soda rubbed my shoulder softly, he cracked a bit of a smile as he thought of something to say. “You out of anyone knew her mental state before your time Pony, it wasn’t any good now was it? But! You know who changed it? You Pony, you didn’t kill her, you saved her. You showed her what life was all about before it came to an end man.”

I nodded as all our memories flooded my head. Her soft yet cheeky smile tattooed in my head, her laugh was consistently ringing in and out my ears. I enjoyed every moment with her, my Janie. All I can do now is hope I satisfied her within the moments we shared together.

I finally got Soda to believe that I was okay- somehow persuaded him to go back to sleep. All I could do was lay there and think about everything. Janie was the most perfect girl I ever had the chance of meeting, I could picture us growing old and raising a family together. She had the most soft, delicate skin- her features were so perfect she didn’t need all that makeup. Man.. she looked great in yellow. I always loved how she looked in a summer dress. The way her hair gracefully blew in the wind and somehow always stayed lookin perfect. Janie, is what I called her.. my Janie girl. She was my pride and joy, and I was hers.

It was time for her to go. her life was cut short. Janie herself would’ve said something along the lines of “that’s the best thing that’s couldve ever happened to me.” She always told me she couldn’t take being here anymore, but I’d say it’s the worst thing that’s happened to me.

Maybe Sodas right, maybe I made her change her mind? I don’t know, all I know is there was once a girl who lived by the name Jane- my first love.. a girl who I’ll never be able to forget.

[dalusional]

🎀

[dalusional]

🎀

[dalusional]

LATE! but happy pride 😻💓

[dalusional]

This mf after getting killed in every universe:

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Dallas was never the type of person to exploit his feelings to the people around him, this I knew from the beginning. Hell, everyone knew- that’s just how Dallas Winston was. His favorite trait about himself was how tuff everyone seen him to be. But the person you are in a relationship is different from the person you are in life. The love of your life should bring out a different side of you, a side not even you’ve seen before… maybe I had failed Dallas Winston? He sure succeeded in his part of us when it came to me, I don’t think I have ever felt so low in my life. Had I failed to break open his heart like he had mine?

Whether I had done enough or not, I knew anything I could’ve done wouldn’t have been enough to break the curse of Dallas Winston- a cold heart.

- js a little excerpt I randomly drabbled -

[dalusional]

Ponyboy would totally gulp like a cartoon character when he’s in trouble

Dally would totally remind everyone how strong his aura is on the regular

Johnny would totally have birds or stars fly around him when he gets punched by a soc

Steve would totally start floating when he smells chocolate cake on a window sill

Sodapop would totally ask people if they are a jitliang or a futalatugan to decipher if he fucked with them or not

Darry would totally say “let me slide right past ya”

Two-bit would totally get in a fight and have a cartoon cloud with stars floating around him

[dalusional]

guys guys guys it’s my birthday 😣🎀

if anyone wants to get me a gift i’d love my very own ponyboy curtis- here’s a photo for reference 🫶

[dalusional]

How I feel walking to 7/11 instead of begging my mom to drive me

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maybe unpopular opinion? I feel like Dally would secretly want to pierce his ears but wouldn’t because he thinks he’d be made fun of.

[dalusional]

[dalusional]

Ponyboy Michael Curtis 🎀

Golden ver >>

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How I feel after wearing converse:

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Rip🙏

Rip Ponyboy Curtis you would’ve loved Booktok and The Cranberries

Rip Darry Curtis you would’ve loved life 360 and Facebook market

Rip Sodapop Curtis you would’ve loved taking Buzzfeed quizzes and cracking brainrot jokes

Rip Johnny Cade you would’ve loved fire extinguishers (i’m sorry 😭🙏 )

Rip Dallas Winston you would’ve loved selling kids empty carts and vaping

Rip Two-bit Mathew’s you would’ve loved being a Disney adult and spamming the gang group chat

Rip Steve Randle you would’ve loved trolling kids on fortnite and rhinoplasty’s

Rip Cherry Valence you would’ve loved making grwm’s and Taylor Swift

Rip Bob Sheldon you would’ve loved watching fight videos and making tiktok thirst traps

[dalusional]

“Do you think we’ll be together in another universe?”

[dalusional]

Masterlist 💓

< requests always open >

Dallas Winston 💓

Ponyboy Curtis 💓

Sodapop Curtis 💓

Johnny Cade 💓

Two-bit Mathews 💓

Steve Randel 💓

Darrell Curtis 💓

[dalusional]

Together Forever.

Dallas Winston x Fem Reader

Angst/Fluff

Warnings: mentions of death?

Description: “Johnny was the only thing Dally loved.” Was an understatement. Dallas left this cruel world at the loss of his best friend Johnny, but he also left his lover Ruthie behind. The agonizing feeling Dally went through that night was something nobody ever deserves to go through… but his choice of leaving Ruthie behind passed it on to her. Between the remembrance of lies he told her “We will always be together, together forever.” and the idea of him not being there to comfort her through this feeling overtakes her- but what if Dallas can comfort her?

- I know realistically Dallas probably wouldn’t act like this but I like to reflect on the other side of him that isn’t shown ( display what it may be like ) 🩷

“I think i’m feeling it now.. just like he did” I said to myself as I jogged down the sidewalk. I didn’t know where I was going but I needed to get away. I could hear Pony and Two-bit calling for me from behind. They knew how upset I was, but I couldn’t stand being with them without seeing his face. I had lost the love of my life 5 months ago, Dallas Winston. Hell..he was the one who showed me there was more to life then what I was hit with at home. He was more than a lover, he saved me.. he was my life. I couldn’t stand the thought of him not being here anymore. Ever since he practically took his own life I felt as if mine was slipping away too.

I never thought I could physically feel so low in my life. The gang had told me their pal Johnny was the only thing Dallas ever loved before I came along, and when I came along he started focusing on me over Johnny. I’ll never be able to erase the facial expression Dallas held as he watched Johnny leave him alone in this fucked up world. It drove him insane.. all the morals Dallas lived by were thrown in his face, not because he didn’t live by them, because Johnny didn’t. Johnny was the sweetest boy you’d ever meet, I think that’s why Dallas loved him so much- he saw the side of himself he couldn’t be inside Johnny, and he wanted to protect it.The act of kindness Johnny delivered to this world killed him, and that drove Dallas over the edge.

The gut wrenching feeling Dallas overcame that night was now spreading through my gut. It was so painful I couldn’t take it. He promised me, he promised he’d be with me forever. Between the thought of him breaking his promise and the idea that he wasn’t here to comfort me through this agony was too much. I stopped jogging and suddenly stood still, the adrenaline within me took over- I felt a high rush within my blood as I stood completely still. Within seconds a bright light overcame my already blurred sight of tears and a loud screeching overtook the yells of the boys chasing after me.

It all felt so surreal. I could hear the screams of terror coming from Pony and Two-bit. They sounded so close yet so far.. but I also saw Dallas, looking as handsome as ever. He looked so at peace, no worry in his face at all… not as we’d last saw him. just as if he could’ve looked younger yet the same age he had died as, that’s what he looked like. No furrowed eyebrows, no black eyes, no forehead wrinkles constructed from trauma, just a softened version of Dal… finally shown to be possible. My lover, my soulmate, had he came to see me? I don’t know, maybe the impact of the car crashing into my figure threw me into a daze? As I tried to deconstruct the situation infront of me, he slowly reached his hand out to mine and reluctantly I took it. Their screams echoed through my ears making me feel dizzy, but they began to fade out. The last thing I heard was a mix of Pony’s harsh sobs and Two-Bits soft spoken cries as he uttered “don’t worry Ruthie, the doctors are on their way.” As if it were a dream I closed my eyes expecting the image of Dallas to go away, but it didn’t. My hand was still in his and the cries had stopped. “You’re okay now Ruthie. You’re okay.” He said as he flashed me with that same ol’ smirk of his. “You missed me that much huh?” The warmness of his words was something I’d missed so much. “He hasn’t changed at all.” I thought as I spat in an unsure tone. “Yeah, I sure did.”

“What did I tell ya, huh?” He smiled and swung an arm around me, pulling me closer to his broad figure. I looked up to him, his brown orbs stared softly into mine. God, I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I didn’t want the feeling to go away. “Please don’t go away,” is all I kept repeating in my head. I couldn’t get myself to reply to his remark, instead he finished for me. He softly brushed my hair behind my ear and connected our foreheads. Warm to the touch, he smiled “No matter what.. we will always find eachother. We are always going to be together doll, together forever.”

( Sorry for the shortness, it’s kinda rushed

requests excepted in the comments 💓