danielscardoso

[danielscardoso]

I love this so much.

[danielscardoso]

Plenary interventions at the European Federation of Sexology Conference 2018. Podcast recording available.

Daniel Cardoso 

Meg-John Barker

[danielscardoso]

hi as pride month draws near for june reminder that cishet aces/aros are not LGBT and don’t belong in our spaces

[danielscardoso]

I honestly think relationships in general would be healthier, in general, if we didn’t believe they should last forever.

When the default is “forever” and shorter relationships are seen as a failure, we miss out on a lot. We stay in relationships that don’t work because they’re not “bad enough” to leave, as though not wanting the relationship anymore isn’t a good enough reason. We deny ourselves happy memories, saying “If it doesn’t work now, our love then wasn’t real.” We pass on relationships we know would be short, because if it doesn’t last forever, what’s the point in joy in the moment?

An ending isn’t a failure. It’s an ending. Most relationships have them. What would our relationships be like if we stopped focusing on our fear of endings and started focusing on what we - and our friends, partners, and family - need right now?

[danielscardoso]

Ironically, this IS how to stop feeling jealousy :) 

SHOP: https://squareup.com/store/kimchicuddles PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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@ Christopher Lovell

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[danielscardoso]

Source

[danielscardoso]

Loved taking this picture of @riotcinema!

Haunted houses make the best photo sets 💜 Photo by @danielscardoso

[danielscardoso]

im contributing to this meme

[danielscardoso]

New text up on medium <3 

[danielscardoso]

Let’s do an exercise. Think about your workplace. Think about the men in it. Which one of those men is the creep? The women reading this probably have a name on hand. Perhaps more than one. I like to ask men this question though. It usually flusters them. Almost every time they get blustery and say, “oh surely my workplace doesn’t have one we have lots of women on staff we are very welcoming, I’ve never heard of anything like that in my office.” If that was your reaction, stop. You’re almost certainly wrong. If you work in science publishing or podcasting, I can probably name your office’s creep. If you work elsewhere, I’m sure the women in your field have a similar list. You just don’t know who it is because the women in your field haven’t deemed you trustworthy enough to tell. So men, I’m tired of hearing about how shocked you are every time something like this comes up. Because at what point does this stop being shocking to you? How many stories like this do you have to hear or read about before you get past being shocked?  When you tell me you’re shocked, what I hear is: “I have chosen to forget all the other stories I’ve heard about this from women.” Or, perhaps: “I have chosen not to actually listen to any of the women who have told me these stories.” Or, perhaps you’re the creep, and you’re simply shocked that one of your own got caught.

The Last Word On Nothing | Stop Being Shocked Please (via riotcinema)

[danielscardoso]

Warning: Poly Rant

Since this came up at a poly social let me state this for the record here.

Polyamory is NOT superior to monogamy. Polyamory is NOT inherently more honest or more natural. Polyamory is NOT right for everyone.

Polyamory and Monogamy are just different paths to get to the same goal - happy, loving, transparent, supportive relationship(s).

Just like how misandry is not the answer to misogyny, hating on monogamy is not the way to get polyamory accepted by society.

Do what is right for YOU and for your partner(s) and let other people do the same.

[danielscardoso]

Poly doesn’t always feel nice. And that’s ok. Sometimes… Poly is watching your partner get their needs that match yours met with someone else. Sometimes poly is having to accept less, instead of all. Sometimes poly is, I hate this, but you don’t need my permission to do it anyway. Sometimes poly is burning. Sitting in your room, your house, alone, burning with all the emotions and there is no one to put you out except yourself. And sometimes, you’re not enough of a firefighter. Sometimes poly is boring. Sometimes poly is Netflix and chilling, by yourself, your own hand down your pajama pants. Sometimes poly is rage. Fierce, hot, molten gold down your gullet, choking you, burning you, cooking you to a not-quick enough death. Sometimes it’s this is not enough, but this is better than nothing. Sometimes it’s pain, bright, white hot, cutting into the very core of you. Splintering you into a thousand, million pieces. Sometimes it’s I don’t know how I survive this. Sometimes poly is… Acceptance of not so great, because there is no other option. Sometimes poly is a snide laugh, a kick in the gut, a slap in the face. Sometimes poly is heartbreak. Sometimes poly is, I will never feel “safe” again. Sometimes it’s just… Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overdoing. Over scheduling. Overtalking. Over… Everything. Sometimes poly is… Can’t I just go back? But what poly really is? Poly is I can’t. I can’t go back. Because going back would mean so much sacrifice. So much giving up of people that I cannot fathom how much I love them. So much beautiful, wonderful, awful exploration of self that I would never get again. I can’t say, I don’t want my lovers and friends and amazing people who blur ALL of my lines and boundaries with their amazing selves. I can’t say, for the sake of some general level of “comfort” that I know is false, I will give up everyone. Their intimacy, their vulnerability, their nakedness. What they look like laughing, and coming, and crying. Versions of them I don’t get to see within the confines of monogamy as I knew it. I have sacrificed so very much to be here, uncomfortable, today. I can’t. I feel I’m awake now, with all the discomfort that comes with awakening. But I can’t go back to sleep. It’s shitty, sometimes, being awake. The sun is too bright, the sounds too harsh. It’s easy when I’m head down, dreaming. But it’s not real, you know? It’s an illusion, a construct. It works for some, but I’ve taken the red pill. I’ve seen my life for how it is, my thinking for how it is. I can’t unsee it. Maybe one day how I outwardly perform myself will change, but for now, I can’t go back. I am what I am, doing what I’m doing the ways that I do it. Sometimes it hurts. Fuck yeah it hurts. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you anything remotely differently. And you know what? It’s ok. Through this, we grow. We become something else. We become better, stronger. We know ourselves more. We know more words to use to advocate for ourselves, and that is fucking amazing. Without this pain, without this trial by fire and molten metal, we might not know what we’re capable of. And knowing what we’re capable of is an awesome, incredible thing. That is what makes you, you. That is what inspires you to fucking amazing things. Even if the journey is horrible to get there. ~Jordyn

XCBDSM.com/spd (via polyrolemodels)

All of this...

[danielscardoso]

Estudo sobre Relacionamentos Íntimos! Pedimos a vossa participação e partilha! Demora 15 minutos a preencher! Este estudo foi criado em conjunto com a Profa. Dra. Patrícia Pascoal, da Universidade Lusófona, e o objectivo é contribuir para compreendermos melhor as atitudes e percepções que as pessoas têm sobre alguns temas ligados à #sexualidade.