danny-devito-jesus-offical

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Hunk: hey Lance do you want to third-wheel on my date with Shay?

Lance: yeah man!

Hunk: Keith you wanna third-wheel on my date with Shay?

Keith: sure

Hunk: Awesome! I've always wanted to go on a double date

Keith: what

Lance: I can't breathe

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

I don't get how girls are straight like ????

Have you seen girls??

I could never

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

So you're telling me that there's people out there that, wake up, and feel... refreshed????

Like, they wake up not tired?? And they stand up and are awake??

This isn't normal

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Is it me or the number 8, October and Fall have the same vive

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Spent so much time in the closet and I still can't dress for shit

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

My headphones aren't connecting to my phone but they are connecting to something WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CONNECTING TO

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

My mom's electric car's battery just broke down when she accidentally hit the lower part of the car with a rock on the street

We've had the car for a week and a half, and now it is dead. Not turning on at all, the mechanic has doubts on wether it's worth it or nit to try to fix it

We've had if for less than two weeks

What the fuck

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Dammit guys who snitched

Why are all the officals in the offical-verse so funny?? Is there something we don’t know about?? Do you have some sort of secret blood ceremony that gives you the funny juice??

@god-offical @satan-offical @grim-reaper-offical @all-the-other-officals IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANNA TELL US

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Happy Gay month people 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈‼️‼️

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Hey @satan-offical would you by any chance happen to know where the person who invented fake pockets is?

I know they're somewhere in hell

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

"I can listen to your music through your headphones" has to be the scariest sentence a person can say to you

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

GUYS

I just realized something

In Alien Stage, in round 7, Till's mic was never on.

I made a Video of this on Instagram too, @zeraplus765

Vivinos showed several frames focusing on both Luka and Till's mics, and Till's was always red. He also kept playing with it during the entire performance.

That's why Mizi was so desperate to find Till, and why she left Hyuna, because she couldn't hear his voice.

His mic is only tuned on at the end of the performance, when he starts walking towards Mizi, but by that point he had already lost.

Why would you do this Vivinos.

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

...i can move a little to the left if you want? Or closer?

*throws a brick at you and misses*

*throws a brick at you and misses*

Hey can you stay still? *throws a brick at you and misses* Jesus Christ.. *throws a brick at you and misses* *throws a brick at you and misses*

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

We still love you Satan❤️

Chat

Chat I'm scared.. I think I'm gonna be in a.. straight relationship

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

You should do it girlypop

"It's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve"

What if I transitioned right now out of pure spite WHAT THEN

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

This is my sketchbook!! :D

[danny-devito-jesus-offical]

Reblog if

It’s 104% okay to come to your DM and just say, “Hi, can we be friends?” And then start asking you random questions.